Abandon Narcissist’s “Inner Child” Before it KILLS YOU! (Developmental Delay, Age, Amnesia)
The narcissist employs childlike behavior to attract and manipulate others, creating an illusion of vulnerability that elicits protective instincts. This strategy fosters a shared fantasy where both the narcissist and their partner regress to a childlike state, complicating the ability to leave the relationship due to feelings of guilt and responsibility. Despite the appearance of an inner child, the narcissist lacks a true self, as their emotional development is severely stunted and they are incapable of positive emotions. Ultimately, the perceived inner child is a facade, masking a profound emptiness and a history of trauma that has left the narcissist psychologically damaged.
Male Victims Don’t Cry: Real Men=No Pain!
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the misconception that there are fewer male victims of abuse and trauma. He argues that men are equally as likely to be victims of narcissistic abuse and other forms of abuse as women, but they are victimized differently. Men are less likely to admit to being victimized and traumatized due to societal perceptions of weakness and vulnerability. There is an attribution error in society where women are seen as victims without blame, while men are often blamed for their abuse. This asymmetry makes it difficult for men to come forward and share their experiences of trauma and abuse.
Gaslighting by Proxy (flying monkeys, triangulation, drama triangle)
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses gaslighting by proxy, where third parties are used to manipulate and distort reality to make the victim doubt their perception. He explains three examples: flying monkeys, triangulation, and the Karpman drama triangle. Flying monkeys collaborate with the abuser to convey misinformation, while triangulation involves introducing a third party to provoke an emotional reaction. The Karpman drama triangle manipulates roles to communicate disinformation. These examples illustrate how gaslighting can occur through the involvement of others, leading to a distorted perception of reality.
Narcissist Imagines Himself Through YOUR Gaze (Attributional Delusions)
Narcissists idealize themselves through the gaze of other people, known as narcissistic supply, and make assumptions about how others perceive them. They react strongly to their assumptions about the gaze of others, attributing thoughts and beliefs to them without checking if they are correct. This idealization is two-faced, as they idealize others to gain their power to idealize them. Narcissists transition between states, but their desperate need for the gaze of others and their self-love and sexual attraction to themselves remain constant. This self-love is not genuine, but rather a form of limerence, infatuation, or lust.
Toxic Help , Backhanded Compliments: Negging, Passive-aggressive Devaluation
Passive aggression is a pervasive and toxic form of aggression that is difficult to detect and can be very damaging. It is a tool used by weak and envious individuals who are unable to express overt aggression. Backhanded compliments and toxic help are examples of passive-aggressive behavior that involve dishonesty, deception, and an inability to interact honestly with others. These behaviors leverage narcissism and paranoia and can be very destructive, causing disorientation, confusion, and emotional pain. It is important to be wary of such individuals and avoid their toxic influence.
Narcissism Virus: Genes, Deception, Brain, Mind (Compilation)
Narcissists and psychopaths are facing increasing difficulties in finding victims due to heightened awareness and stigmatization of their behaviors. As victim awareness grows and behaviors associated with narcissistic abuse become criminalized, the pool of potential targets shrinks. This leads to a situation where predators may team up to hunt collectively, as predicted by game theory models like the Hawk-Dove model and the Lotka-Volterra predator-prey model. These models suggest that as the number of predators increases and the number of prey decreases, the predator population will eventually decline. This raises questions about the role of predators like narcissists and psychopaths in society and whether their decline could lead to trophic cascades, which are powerful indirect interactions that can control entire ecosystems. The future impact of increased awareness, stigmatization, and criminalization on the survival and behaviors of narcissists and psychopaths remains an open question.
Body Narcissism: Tattoos, Gym Rats, Bodybuilders, Fashionistas, Sex Fiends
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the conflicted relationship people have with their bodies, which is amplified in narcissism. He explains that both somatic and cerebral narcissists regard their bodies as a persecutory object, an enemy, and react with compulsive rituals and dissociation. Somatic narcissists derive narcissistic supply by using their bodies in various ways, such as through extreme sports, bodybuilding, and sexual activities. On the other hand, cerebral narcissists derive supply by displaying and leveraging their intellect. The lecture also delves into the concept of “othering” and its impact on narcissistic development, as well as the differences in the relationship with the body between somatic and cerebral narcissists.
Secret of Narcissist’s Romantic Attraction: How YOU Self-destruct
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the reasons why individuals are romantically attracted to narcissists. He explains the differences between sexual and romantic attraction and delves into the psychological processes involved in romantic attraction to narcissists. Vaknin outlines various reasons for this attraction, including the narcissist’s ability to manipulate and create a shared fantasy, the presence of a bad object within the individual, and the narcissist’s role in providing external regulation and punishment. He also touches on the concept of projective identification and the complex nature of the relationship with a narcissist.
Gender Firewalls in Unigender Vertigo
The text discusses two recent studies on gender relations and the author’s analysis of them. It also delves into six trends that have led to a growing hostility and conflict between men and women. The trends include the adoption of traditional masculine traits by women, the erosion of gender roles, and the rise of self-objectification and detachment in relationships. The author also highlights the impact of these trends on intimacy, sexuality, and mental health.
Why Can’t You Breakup with the Narcissist?
Self-styled experts online exploit victims of narcissistic abuse by pandering to their desire to be seen as blameless victims. They profit from perpetuating victimhood and validating the victims’ feelings. Victims may stay with narcissists for selfish reasons, such as seeking validation, feeling needed, or benefiting from the relationship in various ways. The narcissist’s control and the victim’s own psychological needs contribute to their reluctance to leave the relationship.