How Narcissists, Psychopaths Shot Themselves in the Foot (Ecosystem, Predator-Prey, Victimhood)
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the evolution of narcissists and psychopaths in targeting victims and how they have adapted their strategies to the changing times. He explains how the growing awareness of narcissistic abuse has made it more difficult for predators to find victims, leading them to transition from hunting individuals to targeting groups and reshaping society to create an environment conducive to their behavior. This has resulted in a binary ecosystem where individuals are forced to choose between being predators or prey, leading to the rise of victimhood movements and paranoia. However, this has also created an imbalance between the number of predators and prey, as well as a situation where victims seek out abusers, ultimately backfiring on the narcissists and psychopaths.
NO WIN: Narcissist Sees Himself in You (Projective Resonance)
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the intense bond and attachment that forms between individuals and narcissists. He explains that this bond is driven by five mechanisms: a common background of adverse childhood experiences, the “Hall of Mirrors” effect where the narcissist idealizes the individual, trauma bonding, the shared fantasy, and projective resonance. Projective resonance is when the narcissist sees himself in the individual, leading to either a reminder of his true self or a challenge to his false self. This bond is pathological and leads to a coercive control dynamic, where the individual becomes dependent on the narcissist, while the narcissist becomes resentful and seeks to separate.
Decathexis: When YOU are No Longer Useful (Psychopath’s, Narcissist’s Transactional Relationships)
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the predictability of narcissistic behavior and provides two rules to understand and predict their actions: optimized allocation of resources and resentment when forced to act. He explains that narcissists view relationships as transactions and are only interested in others if they can provide something of value. Once the utility of a person is over, the narcissist abruptly drops them. This transactional approach to relationships and the lack of emotional investment makes narcissists and psychopaths unpredictable and unreliable partners.
Hoovered by Narcissist? Now What?
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the concept of “hoovering” in narcissism, which involves the narcissist’s attempt to re-idealize a former partner or to project the idealized image of the former partner onto a new one. This behavior is driven by the narcissist’s internal dynamics and the need to resolve dissonance and anxiety. The hoovering shared fantasy is unstable and lacks direction, leading to self-destructive and self-defeating behavior by the narcissist. Ultimately, the hoovering attempts are doomed to fail, making the narcissist’s life tragicomic.
Why Narcissists are Successful: Cat- vs. Grin Narcopaths (Narcissism Cheshire Effect)
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the success of narcissists and psychopaths in society, attributing it to their ability to thrive in a world that values fantasy and manipulation of symbols in fantastic spaces. He explains the distinction between “cat” narcissists and “green” narcissists, with the latter being more focused on internal feelings and fantasy. Vaknin argues that modern civilization is constructed on the manipulation of symbols and fantastic spaces, providing an advantage to narcissists and psychopaths. He also predicts a future dominated by narcissism and psychopathy, with individuals needing to adapt to this reality to succeed.
Hatebombing: Malignant Narcissist’s Inverted Shared Fantasy (Odd Couples Series)
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the new updates to his website and Android app, which now contain transcripts for all 1,400 of his YouTube videos. He then delves into a detailed analysis of hate bombing, a phenomenon that exposes dynamics of narcissism often overlooked by experts. He explains the concept of locus of grandiosity and how it relates to the behavior of narcissists, particularly in the context of love bombing and hate bombing. Vaknin also explores the shared fantasy in relationships with narcissists, highlighting the differences between typical narcissists and malignant psychopathic narcissists. He provides insights into the behavior and mindset of these individuals, shedding light on their goal-oriented approach and the power dynamics at play in their relationships.
Why Narcissist Desires YOU, Why YOU Fall for It (Conation, Doxastic Voluntarism, Base Rate Fallacy)
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the psychological mechanism of conation and its role in the narcissist’s unwavering conviction in the shared fantasy. Conation is the driving force behind the narcissist’s belief in the shared fantasy and the idealized version of their partner. The lecture delves into the base rate fallacy, implicit bias, and the influence of conation on the narcissist’s behavior. It also explores the connection between conation and the narcissist’s pursuit of the shared fantasy, as well as the impact of doxastic attitudes and doxastic voluntarism on the dynamics of the shared fantasy.
Talking to Narcissistic Abuse Victim, Coach (with Michelle Ecret)
In the lecture, Professor Sam Vaknin discusses his personal journey of awakening from a narcissistic relationship and the process of healing and recovery. He explains the dynamics of narcissistic abuse, the role of fantasy in the narcissistic relationship, and the psychological traits and behaviors of narcissists. He also addresses the concept of conscious awareness in narcissists and clarifies the distinction between attachment styles and narcissistic personality disorder. Throughout the conversation, he provides insights and explanations based on his expertise in the field of narcissism and abuse.
How Your Childhood Effs Your Adulthood ( Adverse Childhood Experiences ( ACEs))
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the impact of adverse childhood experiences on adulthood. He explains that childhood largely determines adulthood and attachment styles are almost cast in stone. He emphasizes that childhood experiences have a direct impact on adulthood and discusses the mental health consequences of an unhappy childhood, including the development of narcissism, fear of abandonment, perfectionism, emotional instability, and difficulty expressing emotions. He also highlights the challenges in setting boundaries, overthinking, self-loathing, and passive aggression as outcomes of adverse childhood experiences.
Is It YOUR Fantasy – or Theirs (Narcissists, Psychopaths, Borderlines)?
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the concept of the shared fantasy in relationships, particularly in the context of narcissism and psychopathy. He explains that while the psychopath customizes the fantasy to fit the partner, the narcissist coerces the partner to fit the fantasy. Vaknin emphasizes the differences in motivations, goals, and outcomes between the psychopath’s, narcissist’s, and borderline’s fantasies, highlighting the manipulative and exploitative nature of these dynamics. He also delves into the psychological underpinnings of these behaviors, linking them to a quest for unconditional love and entitlement.