Abusive ex-partners often resort to lies and half-truths to cope with the pain of separation. They may also resort to self-delusion, which can make them dangerous. The only viable coping strategy is to ignore the abusive ex and take necessary
Narcissists possess magical thinking and narcissistic immunity, which is the erroneous feeling that they are immune to the consequences of their actions. The sources of this fantastic misappraisal of situations and chains of events are the false self, a sense
Narcissists are skilled at distorting reality and presenting plausible alternative scenarios, making it difficult to expose their lies in court. However, it is possible to break a narcissist by finding their weak spots and using them to inflict pain. The
Closure is necessary for victims of abuse to heal their traumatic wounds. There are three forms of effective closure: conceptual, retributive, and dissociative. Conceptual closure involves a frank discussion of the abusive relationship, while retributive closure involves restorative justice and
The conflictive posture is a way to avoid conflict with a narcissist or psychopath by minimizing contact and insisting on boundaries. It involves demanding reasonably predictable and rational actions and reactions from the abuser and respecting one’s own emotions, needs,
In this video, Professor Sam Vaknin provides advice on how to survive a relationship with a narcissist or psychopath. He explains that not all abusers suffer from a personality disorder, but abuse is a multifaceted phenomenon. Abusers react with disproportionate
The video discusses techniques for coping with narcissistic and psychopathic abusers, including mirroring their behavior, frightening them, luring them, and threatening to abandon them. The most recommended technique is to refuse all contact with the abuser, except for the minimum
Narcissists have a complex relationship with objects and possessions, with some being accumulators who jealously guard their belongings and others being discarders who give away their possessions to sustain their sense of control. Objects provide emotional decor and elicit narcissistic
Holidays and birthdays are a difficult time for narcissists, as they provoke a stream of pathological envy. The narcissist is jealous of others for having a family, being able to celebrate lavishly, or being in the right mood. They hate
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the difference between healthy narcissism in adolescence and full-fledged narcissistic personality disorder. He writes a letter to the adoptive mother of a 16-year-old boy named Donovan, who is a pathological narcissist. Donovan is incapable of love
Sam Vaknin is best known for his work on narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). He gained prominence as the author of the book “Malignant Self-Love: Narcissism Revisited,” in which he explores narcissism, particularly malignant narcissism, from both personal and clinical perspectives. Vaknin has claimed to be a narcissist himself, and his work is often written from an insider’s viewpoint.
He’s also known for:
Being controversial: He’s not a licensed psychologist or psychiatrist, which has drawn criticism from mental health professionals.
YouTube and interviews: He has a strong online presence, especially on YouTube, where he discusses psychology, narcissism, relationships, and sometimes geopolitics.
Academic affiliations: He has served as a visiting professor and lecturer in various universities, particularly in Eastern Europe.
His insights have been influential in popular discussions about narcissism, though they’re often debated in clinical circles.
Vaknin Talks
Great Reset: True Healing Only After Hitting Rock Bottom (with Vera Faria Leal)
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, highlighting its historical, religious, and economic dimensions. He emphasizes the intractability of the conflict and the lack of compromise due to the intertwining of religious, nationalistic, and economic factors.
Vaknin also delves into the psychological underpinnings of the conflict, discussing narcissism, victimhood, and the need for a collective crucifixion or apocalypse to bring about transformation.
He stresses the importance of philosophers, psychoanalysts, and psychologists in the negotiation process and advocates for a shift towards communitarianism as a potential solution.
How Narcissists, Psychopaths Shot Themselves in the Foot (Ecosystem, Predator-Prey, Victimhood)
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the evolution of narcissists and psychopaths in targeting victims and how they have adapted their strategies to the changing times.
He explains how the growing awareness of narcissistic abuse has made it more difficult for predators to find victims, leading them to transition from hunting individuals to targeting groups and reshaping society to create an environment conducive to their behavior.
This has resulted in a binary ecosystem where individuals are forced to choose between being predators or prey, leading to the rise of victimhood movements and paranoia. However, this has also created an imbalance between the number of predators and prey, as well as a situation where victims seek out abusers, ultimately backfiring on the narcissists and psychopaths.
Why You Buy Into Narcissist’s Simulated Existence
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the nature of narcissists, likening them to computer programs or artificial intelligence.
He explains that the narcissist’s ability to mimic human behavior does not make them truly human, and they lack empathy and positive emotions. Vaknin describes how narcissists manipulate and deceive others by triggering internal processes, reorganizing their minds, and using attribution errors.
He attributes the narcissist’s behavior to early childhood abuse and trauma, suggesting that they are the product of their environment and genetic predisposition.
Narcissist Female Bosses Outbest Male Narcissist CEOs
In this lecture, Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the prevalence of narcissism in corporate leadership, particularly focusing on the performance of narcissistic female chief executive officers.
He highlights a study that suggests narcissistic female CEOs outperform their male counterparts and that their narcissism is associated with improved company performance.
The study also suggests that female CEOs are able to suppress the dark side of narcissism and leverage traits such as empathy and networking, leading to superior corporate outcomes. Additionally, the lecture touches on the impact of narcissistic tendencies of chief financial officers on corporate digital transformation, suggesting that narcissism in upper management may be a beneficial corporate asset.
Narcissist Stalks Your Dreams, Nightmares
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the concept of lucid dreaming and its application to the narcissist’s shared fantasy.
He explains how the narcissist manipulates and entrains the victim into the shared fantasy, triggering repressed memories and emotional release.
The lecture delves into the psychological impact of the shared fantasy, the role of dreams in processing trauma, and the brain’s response to threats and stress during sleep. Vaknin emphasizes the importance of paying attention to nightmares and dreams as they may provide insight and self-awareness to help individuals navigate the shared fantasy.
Mental Illness, Left and Right with Prof. Ed Dutton, Jolly Heretic
Professor Sam Vaknin, an expert on narcissism and diagnosed narcissist, discussed various aspects of narcissism, including its nature, types, and prevalence in society.
He explained that narcissism is characterized by an absence of true self, replaced by a false self that acts as an imaginary friend or deity.
Vaknin also touched on the differences between overt and covert narcissism, the concept of psychopathic narcissism, and the societal and cultural shifts that have led to an increase in narcissistic traits.
Additionally, he addressed the impact of social media on narcissism and the importance of addressing the conflict between men and women as a critical issue for society.
Privatized Empathy and Cowardly Public “Intellectuals”
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the decline of empathy in society, particularly among public intellectuals who prioritize self-interest, power, and manipulation over compassion and care for others. He identifies four groups of intellectuals in Macedonia, including the fearful, the self-interested, the territorial, and the malignantly romantic.
He attributes the behavior of intellectuals in the Balkans, including Macedonia, to the influence of Marxism, socialism, and communism, which redefined the role of intellectuals as leaders and co-opted them into the power machine.
Ultimately, he argues that intellectuals in Macedonia have betrayed their role in invigorating the nation and integrating society and culture into global trends.