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1. 00:02 Can you conceive of a more pleasurable experience in Paris in a cloudy morning than opening my YouTube channel and winged through your comments? I cannot.
2. 00:18 So sometimes I come across topic suggestions which are thoughtprovoking and interesting. Today we’re going to discuss siblings. How likely are siblings to develop narcissistic personality disorder? How probable it is that your siblings are narcissists?
3. 00:38 And is there anything in the order of birth or the treatment by parental treatment? Or is there anything that determines whether specific siblings might become narcissists while others do not? My name is Sambakn and I’m the author of malignant self- loveve narcissism revisited.
4. 01:03 So let’s start with a fact. Only a tiny minority of people develop narcissistic personality disorder. According to the diagnostic and statistical manual, 1.7% of the general population. This is not an underestimate. Narcissists are not underdiagnosed.
5. 01:23 Actually, overt narcissists are overdiagnosed, but this is a topic for another video. You can search the channel if you want the data. So a tiny percentage become narcissists and yet in the very same family exposed to the very same parenting style,
6. 01:42 preferences, abuse, trauma, adverse childhood experiences, very same household. Only one child becomes a narcissist while the other five siblings or two siblings or one sibling don’t. This is true even with twins. They’re twin studies. This is a strong indication that
7. 02:05 pathological narcissism is an interaction between the environment and a predisposition, a genetic hereditary predisposition. We do not have we do not have rigorous, convincing, sufficient evidence to say this with any certainty. Yet, it stands to reason. It’s very likely.
8. 02:31 Now, we know that there are two developmental paths leading to to pathological narcissism. And one of them is when the child is idolized, pedestalized, overprotected, instrumentalized, parentified. When the child can do no wrong, is isolated from reality and from peers.
9. 02:57 This kind of child is likely to become an overt narcissist if the genetic propensity is there. If the genetic template is there, we think there’s no proof of this but it stands to reason. The other developmental path is when the child is neglected, abandoned, shamed,
10. 03:18 humiliated or or classically abused, physical abuse, uh verbal abuse. um in this case um there’s a likelihood of development of covert narcissism rather than overt narcissism. So these are two developmental paths both of them lead to Rome the Rome of narcissism.
11. 03:40 Similarly favoritism when certain children are treated much better than their siblings or some of the some brothers and sisters are mistreated while others are not. the classic emergent roles of scapegoat and golden child and so on so forth. In this
12. 04:01 case, again, there’s a likelihood of narcissism, but you should never ever listen to self-styled so-called experts online because they would tell you that narcissism is the outcome of having been treated as a golden child. Whereas the scapegoat never develops narcissism.
13. 04:22 scapegoat becomes the victim. That’s complete nonsense. Both the scapegoat and the golden child are likely to develop narcissism, albeit of different kinds. The scapegoat is likely to develop a passive aggressive, resentful type of narcissism known as fragile or
14. 04:40 shy or vulnerable narcissism. Whereas the golden child is far more likely to develop overt narciss narcissism mistakenly called grandio narcissism. So both types may react might react with narcissism to the preferential treatment the favoritism of the parents uh towards
15. 05:02 one of the children. I’ve dealt with all this in other videos and you go to the description. There’s a link to one of them. It’s called child and scapegoat black sheep narcissist parents projective splitting. I recommend that you watch it. This is not
16. 05:19 the topic of today’s video. Today’s video has been triggered by two comments. The first one I quote, “Innate temperament regarding siblings outcomes for personality disorders. Can you tell us about it?” Yes, I can. The second question, besides narcissistic parents
17. 05:38 who view their child’s autonomy and growth as a threat to their ego, might narcissistic siblings also feel threatened? And the answer is yes. Of course, the same dynamic that plays out with parental figures, plays out with siblings, plays out with peers. Peers
18. 05:59 are very influential, especially during early adolescence and late childhood. plays out with role models such as teachers and so on. Exactly the same dynamic, but I will expand on it a bit later. And finally, the last question was, does being a girl and the youngest child have
19. 06:19 an impact? Well, the answer to this is being a girl does not have an impact. Al although the expression of narcissism pathological narcissism in women is culturally and societally determined. So whereas men would tend to become more antisocial overt narcissists mistakenly
20. 06:41 called grandio narcissists because all narcissists are grandio even covert narcissists are grandio women would tend to become covert. They would tend to become um fragile or vulnerable narcissists and women would tend to incorporate borderline elements including for
21. 07:00 example a much higher level of emotion dysregulation. These are not psychological. These are not ideological or psychological or psychonamic factors. These are social the outcomes of social pressures, social mores and expectations, cultural dynamics and
22. 07:20 scripts. So the narcissism of the woman is determined from the outside whereas the narcissism of the men is determined mostly from the inside. And this is the answer to the question of does being a girl have any impact on developing narcissism? Does being the youngest
23. 07:37 child have any impact? Well, I’m going to deal with this in this video. So, let’s plunge and delve right in. And we start with an article, a very old, well, relatively old article 1996 written by Soelman and Iring. And the article is titled Narcissism and Birth Order was
24. 07:56 published in psychological reports. Now you go to the description there’s a literature section with all these articles. So what does what did this article teach us? I’m quoting from the uh abstract. The purpose of this investigation say the authors was to
25. 08:13 clarify the relationship between birth order position and the development of narcissism while refining research and theory. The relationship between birth order status and narcissism was examined with a sample of 79 undergraduate students, 55 women, and 24 men. These
26. 08:33 subjects were placed in one of the four following birth order categories, firstborn, secondborn, lastborn, and only children. These categories were chosen given their significance in Adleran theory. each subject completed narcissistic personality inventory and a demographic
27. 08:55 inventory. Now, just to alert you to the fact that the NPI, narcissistic personality inventory, measures the trait of narcissism, not pathological narcissism and not narcissistic and cannot be used to diagnose narcissistic personality disorder. Okay.
28. 09:13 uh based on psychonamic theory say the authors it was hypothesized that firstborn children were expected to score highest but statistical significance was not found for an association between narcissism and birth order. Now this was in 1996 and we need to go a bit back in time to
29. 09:37 find additional work. Curtis and Cowell 1993 published an article relation of birth order and scores on measures of pathological narcissism as published in psychological reports. Again, I’ll read to you from the abstract to study the relationship between birth order and
30. 09:56 pathological narcissism. It was predicted that firstborn and only children would score significantly higher on standardized measures of pathological narcissism. Two such measure measures, the Milan clinical multi-actual inventory and the narcissistic
31. 10:14 personality inventory were administered to 50 randomly selected subjects from from a metropolitan mental health and family treatment agency. Subjects were asked to indicate their ordinal birth positions. In other words, firstborn, middleborn, lastborn or only child and
32. 10:33 then they were administered with both these instruments. They were tested using both these instruments. Analysis supported the initial prediction by indicating that firstborn and only children had higher means scores on the measures of pathological narcissism.
33. 10:50 It might be advisable for clinicians to identify patients ordinal positions. Are they firstborn? Are they only children? While appraising relevant diagnostic criteria and eventual treatment planning. So here we are, two studies, three years apart,
34. 11:08 substantially in disagreement. One study says yes, the birth order is highly relevant. If you’re first born and if you’re only child, you’re more likely to become a narcissist. And the other study says no such thing. U there’s no influence. There’s no
35. 11:23 connection or correlation between birth order or being an only child and the evolution or the dynamic of pathological narcissism in any single individual. We need therefore to continue to peruse the literature and let’s move forward in time to 2024. Hopefully we have learned
36. 11:48 something in the intervening years. So here’s a study on conscientiousness, narcissism, and self-esteem among firstborn and lastborn siblings. It was written by Anushka Malik was published in the international journal of interdisciplinary approaches in
37. 12:05 psychology in 2024. As I said, the abstract says, often in our society, we come across statements like firstborns are more responsible or middleborns are often the ignored children. Such statements usually peak the interests of individuals and also the propagator of
38. 12:26 misinformation. While there might be slight differences in the bringing up of children, its impact on the personality of these individuals is not major. To further investigate u this there was a sample about 60 people 80 to 25 years old 30 of them were firstborn 30 were last born
39. 12:46 the purpose says the author was to study conscientiousness narcissism and self-esteem among firstborn and lastborn children. Standardized scales were used to measure these stated variables. The results found a significant positive correlation between conscientiousness
40. 13:05 and self-esteem and a significant positive correlation between narcissism and self-esteem. However, not statistically significant differences were observed in self-esteem, conscientiousness, and narcissism among firstborn or lastborn siblings. There’s there was no difference
41. 13:26 between firstborns and lastborns. Due to the firstborn siblings usually taking up the role of substitute parents for the later born. It is often believed that the siblings according to the placement in the family possess different personality traits. However, evidence
42. 13:42 from the present study as well as past studies suggest that birth order does not have a lasting impact on broad personality traits outside of the intellectual domain. and any variations may have to do with the genetics rather than than familial positioning of
43. 14:00 individuals. So this is the latest in the field. We now tend to believe that the order of birth has very little impact on whether an individual develops pathological narcissism or not. This is definitely true for example in twin studies where the order of birth is
44. 14:20 irrelevant. So if you’re first born or if you’re last born, it seems you have an equal chance to develop pathological narcissism, to become a narcissist, to be diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder, which is another strong indication that narcissistic
45. 14:36 personality disorder may be hereditary. There may be a genetic template or predisposition or proclivity um to develop pathological narcissism on condition that the individual is exposed to an environment which is abusive or traumatizing or both exposed to
46. 14:56 adversity in some way. Okay. Daphne back ohmal schmuckle and others in 2019 have written publish the article the end of a stereotype. Only children are not more narcissistic than people with siblings. Allow me to repeat only children are not more narcissistic than
47. 15:22 people with siblings. This particular article was published in social psychological and personality science. And here is what the abstract has to say. The current research dealt with the stereotype that only children are more narcissistic than people with siblings.
48. 15:41 We first investigated say the authors the prevalence of this stereotype. In an online study, quite a big one, 600 people, layer people rated a typical only child and a typical person with siblings on narcissistic admiration and narcissistic rivalry. the two
49. 15:59 subdimensions of the narcissistic admiration and rivalry questionnaire. People ascribed both higher admiration and higher rivalry to the only child. So this is the stereotype. This is what you hear from self-styled experts online. The authors proceed to say, “We then
50. 16:20 tested the accuracy of this stereotype by analyzing data from a large and representative panel study, 1,800 people plus. The scores of only children on the two narcissism dimensions, did not exceed the scores of people with siblings, and this result held when
51. 16:41 major potentially confounding coariantss were controlled for. Taken together, the results indicate that the stereotype that only children are narcissistic may be prevalent but is not accurate.
52. 16:58 So uh another article published in uh 2020 it was authored by Foster is and others. It was titled further evidence that only children are not more narcissistic than individuals with siblings was published in personality and individual differences volume 161.
53. 17:25 So here is what these authors had to say in support of the previous study that I’ve cited. They say, “Are only children more narcissistic than individuals with siblings?” Prior research on the topic has produced conflicting and/or inconclusive results.
54. 17:44 Daphne at all at at allies in 2019 published a recent and widely reported empirical test of this hypothesis and concluded that only children are not more narcissistic than nonly children, children with siblings. One of their acknowledged limitations
55. 18:03 was that their study was limited to the German population. They called for additional tests in other countries. In this paper, say the authors, we report results from a high power test of this hypothesis using multiple measures of narcissism, two full scale and 10 facet
56. 18:21 level measures. And a large sample, 9,000 people. That’s a seriously big study. Although I must say that all 9,000 people were American college students. and whether American college students represent humanity is very serious debate. Anyhow, despite this study possessing
57. 18:43 extraordinary statistical power, we likewise fail to observe any notable differences in narcissism between only children and nonly children, children with siblings. follow up follow-up equivalence in basian testing suggested generally um strongly a strong to very strong
58. 19:06 support for the null hypothesis that only children and nonly children are equivalent in terms of narcissism. It seems that the mainstream consensus today is that whether you have had siblings or whether you’re an only child, your chances to develop pathological narcissism hinge on
59. 19:27 something that has nothing to do with how many siblings you have and what is your birth order, whether you’re firstborn or not. And that something could only be genetics. Because had it been 100% the environment, then we all know that firstborns are
60. 19:46 treated differently to other siblings. That also has been substantiated and established in multiple studies. And this different treatment should in theory have produced pathological narcissism more frequently, but it doesn’t. It doesn’t. So it seems that
61. 20:04 there is a powerful genetic determinant here. Feance Lan Kosho and others wrote an article titled sibling relationship quality and parental rearing style influence the development of dark triad traits was published in current psychology. May I remind you that dark
62. 20:23 triad p personalities are not narcissists and they are not psychopaths. Dark triad personality is a personality which comprises subclinical narcissism. narcissism that cannot be diagnosed, subclinical psychopathy, psychopathic traits and behaviors that do not amount
63. 20:44 to an antisocial personality disorder and macavarianism. So dark triad personality and dark tetran personality are not personality disorders and are not the same are not tantamount to narcissistic or antisocial or psychopathic personality disorder.
64. 21:03 Still dark triad personalities are reminiscent vaguely of narcissism and psychopathy because they include incorporate the subclinical varants. So they are useful proxies. And here is what the article has to say. Currently our understanding of environmental
65. 21:21 factors that influence the development of dark personality traits is limited. Therefore, we conducted three studies using online questionnaers, each examining a different aspect of the relation between dark personality traits and family environment. I forgot to
66. 21:38 mention that this is a recent study, 2023. In the first study, 1,100 adults uh filled out questionnaers regarding their childhood relationship with siblings and their own dark trial traits. We found say the authors that the amount of conflicts with siblings during adolescence
67. 21:58 correlated positively with machavelianism and psychopathy subclinical psychopathy. The feeling of closeness towards the siblings showed negative correlation with machavelianism. In other words, if you if you if your childhood with siblings has been high a high
68. 22:18 conflict childhood, you constantly had fights with your chi siblings. You were competing for your parents’ attention and affection and love with your siblings and so on so forth. Your siblings were perceived in the best case as rivals and in the worst case cases
69. 22:33 adversaries or enemies. You were more likely to develop machavelianism which is a tendency to manipulate people. manipulativeness and you are also more likely to develop subclinical psychopathy. If the relationship with your siblings has been wonderful and
70. 22:48 great and supportive and so on so forth, you were not more likely to develop either of these parental partiality, favoritism towards the other sibling was positively correlated with narcissism. In in a study um there were 110 adolescents. They reported these adolesccents
71. 23:11 reported their perceptions of the rearing style of their parents in addition to their sibling relationships and dark trial traits. Perceived parental emotional warmth was negatively associated whereas both rejection by the parents and overp protection were positively
72. 23:29 correlated with psychopathy. So here we are not talking about par um golden child and scapegoat. We are talking about parents who are warm and loving and caring and compassionate and and containing and supportive and parents who are neglectful and
73. 23:47 abandoning and absent and called what what Andre Green calls the dead mother, you know. And so the this difference is meaningful later in life. Um um actually
74. 24:01 the the parents who are rejecting and the parents who are overprotective both tend to produce more psychopathy in the child. Parental warmth was positively while rejection was negatively associated with narcissism. So, ironically, if the parents are warm and
75. 24:20 and loving and caring and compassionate and and so on so forth, the child is slightly more likely to develop narcissism than if the parents are rejecting. In other words, what emerges from this uh study and we should take it with a with a grain of salt and you know
76. 24:39 there’s a lot more to we need to repeat this study and we need to do many other studies and we need to differentiate between various dimensions of narcissism and psychopathy but generally speaking what this study seems to indicate is that rejection, abandonment, um neglect
77. 25:02 enhance or increase the risk of psychopathy in the child. Whereas over whereas um uh warmth and and loving the
78. 25:14 child and caring for the child and so on somewhat mysteriously and ironically tend to increase narcissism perhaps because the child feels specialed and perhaps the study didn’t make a sufficient distinction between warm loving compassionate parents and
79. 25:34 spoiling pampering pedestalizing idolizing parents which is a world apart. They these are not the same kind of parenting style. Anyhow, um Mchavelianism continued the authors was positively associated with the amount of conflicts with siblings but negatively associated
80. 25:54 with closeness to siblings. In a third study, 110 adults reported their levels of the vulnerable dark triad that included measures of primary and secondary psychopathy, subclinical psychopathy, maladaptive covert narcissism, subclinical, and borderline personality organization,
81. 26:16 Karnberg’s construct. Um results indicated that sibling relation quality had a significant effect on primary psychopathy and borderline traits. Parental rejection and overp protection correlated with borderline traits and vulnerable narcissism.
82. 26:35 The results of these studies shed some light on how environmental impulses, particularly the quality of relationships between family members, affect the development of personality. This is um a pretty interesting study because it demonstrates that there are
83. 26:51 several developmental trajectories, not only not only one, and that the interactions between siblings and parenting and parents are very important. And that variations in parenting styles can lead either to narcissism or to psychopathy and relationships with siblings mostly
84. 27:13 determine the Mchavelian thing. Mave Machavelianism thing, the muk the muck level. Uh it seems that certain types of parenting yield overt narcissism, may yield overt narcissism. Certain types of par parenting are conducive to covert narcissism. But in the second case of
85. 27:33 covert narcissism, sibling involvement is also um relevant and sibling involvement seems to be most relevant in the formation of psychopathy and machavelianism.