Tip: click a paragraph to jump to the exact moment in the video. Why Some People Are Instantly Disliked?

1. 00:02 Some people are more or less universally liked. Their company is sought. They are the life of a party and they attract sakore, advice, attention, help naturally, effortlessly. Other people are polarizing figures. They are equally hated and loved by different camps. They’re controversial but on the other hand they do foster dedication, devotion, attachment and admiration and adulation in some people. So these kind of people would be virolently virulently hated by one group and irreservedly loved by another group. Some people are more or less universally liked. Their company is sought. They are the life of a party and they attract sakore, advice, attention, help naturally, effortlessly. Other people are polarizing figures. They are equally hated and loved by different camps. They’re controversial but on the other hand they do foster dedication, devotion, attachment and admiration and adulation in some people. So these kind of people would be virolently virulently hated by one group and irreservedly loved by another group.
2. 00:50 You know who I’m talking about. And the third group are people who are universally disliked like me. These are people who are hated at first sight. People whose very presence within seconds triggers and provokes revulsion, abhorance, shunning and avoidance. These are people who are perceived to be obnoxious, contemptuous, people who are um somehow um understood as or even antisocial. Be the case as it may, these people almost never ever engender love and liking in other people. We could say that these people, You know who I’m talking about. And the third group are people who are universally disliked like me. These are people who are hated at first sight. People whose very presence within seconds triggers and provokes revulsion, abhorance, shunning and avoidance. These are people who are perceived to be obnoxious, contemptuous, people who are um somehow um understood as or even antisocial. Be the case as it may, these people almost never ever engender love and liking in other people. We could say that these people,
3. 01:42 this third group of people are in principle unlovable and unlikable. And I have personal experience with this. I trigger intense dislike bordering on hatred within seconds of an initial encounter. I’ve been loathed and hated by my own mother um by peers, by teachers. Once I remember I’ve been when I was 9 years old, I was walking across my old kindergarten and my kindergarten teacher hailed me over said, “Come over.” I went to see her at the fence. She was standing at the fence and she said, “I this third group of people are in principle unlovable and unlikable. And I have personal experience with this. I trigger intense dislike bordering on hatred within seconds of an initial encounter. I’ve been loathed and hated by my own mother um by peers, by teachers. Once I remember I’ve been when I was 9 years old, I was walking across my old kindergarten and my kindergarten teacher hailed me over said, “Come over.” I went to see her at the fence. She was standing at the fence and she said, “I
4. 02:28 heard that you were admitted to a university at age nine. You know, I’ve been just been diagnosed with 180 IQ and they transferred me from primary school to the Technneon, one of the prime universities in Israel. He said, “I heard that you just made it into a university.” I said, “Yeah.” And I thought she would congratulate me. She used to be my kindergarten uh teacher. Her name was Deborah. I thought she would congratulate me. And she looked me in the eye and she said, “You’re going to have a horrible life. heard that you were admitted to a university at age nine. You know, I’ve been just been diagnosed with 180 IQ and they transferred me from primary school to the Technneon, one of the prime universities in Israel. He said, “I heard that you just made it into a university.” I said, “Yeah.” And I thought she would congratulate me. She used to be my kindergarten uh teacher. Her name was Deborah. I thought she would congratulate me. And she looked me in the eye and she said, “You’re going to have a horrible life.
5. 02:59 you’re going to suffer all all your life and I hope you end badly. It didn’t have much impact on me because I was used to people telling me such things. My mother, my own mother and father [clears throat] included. So I just walked away impervious, implacable and unattentive to what she said because being disliked was who I am. And I did consider myself as unlovable and unlikable in principle. My essence, my quiddity somehow turned off people. And then decades later, I went into psychology. And and one of the questions you’re going to suffer all all your life and I hope you end badly. It didn’t have much impact on me because I was used to people telling me such things. My mother, my own mother and father [clears throat] included. So I just walked away impervious, implacable and unattentive to what she said because being disliked was who I am. And I did consider myself as unlovable and unlikable in principle. My essence, my quiddity somehow turned off people. And then decades later, I went into psychology. And and one of the questions
6. 03:42 that always bothered me is what what triggers this intense instantaneous automatic reflexive instinctive dislike? what in in people like me makes people makes other people hate. I mean, it’s okay to disagree. It’s okay even to, you know, hold someone in contempt. It’s okay to uh belong to a camp that that abhores and hates someone. That’s okay. But it’s extremely rare to go through life universally hated and rejected. Um, and that’s been my case. So I tried to delve deeper into the question of why that always bothered me is what what triggers this intense instantaneous automatic reflexive instinctive dislike? what in in people like me makes people makes other people hate. I mean, it’s okay to disagree. It’s okay even to, you know, hold someone in contempt. It’s okay to uh belong to a camp that that abhores and hates someone. That’s okay. But it’s extremely rare to go through life universally hated and rejected. Um, and that’s been my case. So I tried to delve deeper into the question of why
7. 04:31 some people are always inevitably inelectably universally hated by everyone everywhere never mind what in all cultures in all societies by all kinds of people all genders all types of relationships and so on lead to extreme abhorance and and rejection. What what is it? And so the literature uh enumerates several components, several several issues with such people that bring on the the hate that trigger the hate in other people. So there’s one group, one school in psychology that says that suggests that some people are always inevitably inelectably universally hated by everyone everywhere never mind what in all cultures in all societies by all kinds of people all genders all types of relationships and so on lead to extreme abhorance and and rejection. What what is it? And so the literature uh enumerates several components, several several issues with such people that bring on the the hate that trigger the hate in other people. So there’s one group, one school in psychology that says that suggests that
8. 05:19 people are disliked owing to their behavioral choices and behavioral problems. It is the conduct of people that generates hate or rejection in other people. And there’s another camp or another school in psychology that suggests that it’s something innate, something internal. Yeah, behavior plays a part. But the the reflexive reaction of people, the biological almost biological reaction of people, the hatred that emanates, the the rejection exuded by people, they are a response to the qualities and traits of people are disliked owing to their behavioral choices and behavioral problems. It is the conduct of people that generates hate or rejection in other people. And there’s another camp or another school in psychology that suggests that it’s something innate, something internal. Yeah, behavior plays a part. But the the reflexive reaction of people, the biological almost biological reaction of people, the hatred that emanates, the the rejection exuded by people, they are a response to the qualities and traits of
9. 06:05 the individual, not necessarily to the individual’s behavior or choices. And so there are these two camps. Both camps agree that the hatred, the instantaneous hatred, we’re not talking about hatred that develops over time in a relationship, for example. That’s not what I’m talking about. I’m talking about an immediate visceral gut reaction. Wow, I hate this person. This person is disgusting, repulsive, revolting. I don’t want anything to do with this person. He’s obnoxious. this the individual, not necessarily to the individual’s behavior or choices. And so there are these two camps. Both camps agree that the hatred, the instantaneous hatred, we’re not talking about hatred that develops over time in a relationship, for example. That’s not what I’m talking about. I’m talking about an immediate visceral gut reaction. Wow, I hate this person. This person is disgusting, repulsive, revolting. I don’t want anything to do with this person. He’s obnoxious. this
10. 06:40 kind of reaction which forms within 3 to 30 seconds according to studies. And so both camps agree that it is the outcome of hidden mental processes which combine with life history memor episodic memory and with some individual idiosyncrasies of the observer. In other words, the hatred reaction, the immediate hatred reaction, this urgency of hatred is reflective not only of the hated individual but also of the hating individual. And yet this doesn’t answer the question why some people trigger this reaction in others kind of reaction which forms within 3 to 30 seconds according to studies. And so both camps agree that it is the outcome of hidden mental processes which combine with life history memor episodic memory and with some individual idiosyncrasies of the observer. In other words, the hatred reaction, the immediate hatred reaction, this urgency of hatred is reflective not only of the hated individual but also of the hating individual. And yet this doesn’t answer the question why some people trigger this reaction in others
11. 07:26 universally, uniformly all the time. Why? And so we know that such um repulsion or such instant rejection involves memory triggers which operate in the background. All kinds of effects which are unconscious and people of course do not comprehend them and cannot verbalize them. If you ask someone why do you hate Vaknin? It would be difficult to explain and they would come up with all kinds of convoluted stories and narratives and and which have nothing actually to do with the fact that they um found Vaknin to be obnoxious and universally, uniformly all the time. Why? And so we know that such um repulsion or such instant rejection involves memory triggers which operate in the background. All kinds of effects which are unconscious and people of course do not comprehend them and cannot verbalize them. If you ask someone why do you hate Vaknin? It would be difficult to explain and they would come up with all kinds of convoluted stories and narratives and and which have nothing actually to do with the fact that they um found Vaknin to be obnoxious and
12. 08:11 repulsive on first sight long before they’ve known anything about the person about me. So there are a few psychological explanations as to what’s what’s going on. First of all, in many cases, such a reaction, such a a rejecting, hating um reaction has to do with the memory, a [clears throat] memory attached to someone specific from the past. When we come across someone who helps us to remember or triggers in us a memory of a negative encounter with someone else, something that happened in our past with repulsive on first sight long before they’ve known anything about the person about me. So there are a few psychological explanations as to what’s what’s going on. First of all, in many cases, such a reaction, such a a rejecting, hating um reaction has to do with the memory, a [clears throat] memory attached to someone specific from the past. When we come across someone who helps us to remember or triggers in us a memory of a negative encounter with someone else, something that happened in our past with
13. 08:56 someone who has harmed us, hurt us, belittled us, held us in contempt, shamed us, humiliated us and so on. When we come across someone new and that new person reminds us of that event which was is an ego donic event, a very unpleasant event, we would tend to automatically associate the emotional baggage, [clears throat] the emotional luggage that comes with the earlier memory with this new person. We would assoc associate with a new person the bad memory as if the new person had created in us the bad memory triggered in us the someone who has harmed us, hurt us, belittled us, held us in contempt, shamed us, humiliated us and so on. When we come across someone new and that new person reminds us of that event which was is an ego donic event, a very unpleasant event, we would tend to automatically associate the emotional baggage, [clears throat] the emotional luggage that comes with the earlier memory with this new person. We would assoc associate with a new person the bad memory as if the new person had created in us the bad memory triggered in us the
14. 09:39 bad memory. So it’s a person who can make us feel bad. The the the new person makes us feel bad not because of something the new person had done or said but because the new person has the capacity to trigger in us the bad memories. The past emotions which once existed start to emerge when people meet someone who shares similar traits who is reminiscent of another person. The next reason is projection. There are aspects of ourselves, their traits, thoughts, cognitions, emotions and so on. Uh behavioral patterns um that we bad memory. So it’s a person who can make us feel bad. The the the new person makes us feel bad not because of something the new person had done or said but because the new person has the capacity to trigger in us the bad memories. The past emotions which once existed start to emerge when people meet someone who shares similar traits who is reminiscent of another person. The next reason is projection. There are aspects of ourselves, their traits, thoughts, cognitions, emotions and so on. Uh behavioral patterns um that we
15. 10:25 dislike about ourselves that we reject in ourselves. There are dimensions of ourselves which we find intolerable, unacceptable, burdensome, unbearable. And so we tend to project this, we tend to attribute these inconvenient parts of ourselves to other people. Say I’m not stingy, he’s stingy. I’m not hateful, she’s hateful. I’m not aggressive, they are aggressive. So this is projection. Similarly, I’m not a homosexual. They are. And I hate them for that. So projection could lead to what we call dislike about ourselves that we reject in ourselves. There are dimensions of ourselves which we find intolerable, unacceptable, burdensome, unbearable. And so we tend to project this, we tend to attribute these inconvenient parts of ourselves to other people. Say I’m not stingy, he’s stingy. I’m not hateful, she’s hateful. I’m not aggressive, they are aggressive. So this is projection. Similarly, I’m not a homosexual. They are. And I hate them for that. So projection could lead to what we call
16. 11:03 reaction formation. So traits or aspects of ourselves that we don’t like and when we dislike in ourselves characteristics which are difficult to manage when we have in ourselves all kinds of dynamics which we find unacceptable even abhorrent we would tend to attribute them to other people. The presence of those traits in another person would even amplify this process. So if we would accuse another person of being what we are and that other person is really is really conforms to the to this projection or attribution that reaction formation. So traits or aspects of ourselves that we don’t like and when we dislike in ourselves characteristics which are difficult to manage when we have in ourselves all kinds of dynamics which we find unacceptable even abhorrent we would tend to attribute them to other people. The presence of those traits in another person would even amplify this process. So if we would accuse another person of being what we are and that other person is really is really conforms to the to this projection or attribution that
17. 11:50 amplifies and magnifies the situation and renders it very uncomfortable. So projection creates acute discomfort and automatic reactions which result in immediate feelings of dislike. Some people are much easier to project onto than others. These are people who are by definition um obnoxious to start with, whose behavior is problematic, who are contemptuous and disdainful. There are some people um who ask, who beg to be projected onto. And so these people would tend to be universally disliked. And these people amplifies and magnifies the situation and renders it very uncomfortable. So projection creates acute discomfort and automatic reactions which result in immediate feelings of dislike. Some people are much easier to project onto than others. These are people who are by definition um obnoxious to start with, whose behavior is problematic, who are contemptuous and disdainful. There are some people um who ask, who beg to be projected onto. And so these people would tend to be universally disliked. And these people
18. 12:38 would also remind us of all previous occasions where we found someone to be unacceptable and we chose to stay away or to shun that [clears throat] person. Many uh people who are universally disliked have problems with social cues. They’re unable to read other people. They can’t make sense of other people’s body language, other people’s verbal cues, other people’s expectations and and implicit demands and implied terms of terms of engagement. They they have difficulties with all this. For example, would also remind us of all previous occasions where we found someone to be unacceptable and we chose to stay away or to shun that [clears throat] person. Many uh people who are universally disliked have problems with social cues. They’re unable to read other people. They can’t make sense of other people’s body language, other people’s verbal cues, other people’s expectations and and implicit demands and implied terms of terms of engagement. They they have difficulties with all this. For example,
19. 13:16 people with autism spectrum disorder have this problem. Similarly, narciss narcissists people with narcissistic personality disorder. So, these people would tend to violate personal boundaries. Generally we tend we find it hard to accept when other people enter our personal space. They when they talk excessively when they touch us unexpectedly when they share private information when they behave in ways which they know are going to aggravate us and provoke us. All these situations boundaries are people with autism spectrum disorder have this problem. Similarly, narciss narcissists people with narcissistic personality disorder. So, these people would tend to violate personal boundaries. Generally we tend we find it hard to accept when other people enter our personal space. They when they talk excessively when they touch us unexpectedly when they share private information when they behave in ways which they know are going to aggravate us and provoke us. All these situations boundaries are
20. 13:51 breached. When someone crosses our limits of comfort, when someone shatters our comfort zone early on, the brain reacts with unease or rejection. And most of the people who are universally disliked are people who tend to ignore other people’s boundaries and expectations either because they’re grandiose and contemptuous or simply autistic unable to decipher and decode the intricacies and fineries of human contact of social uh intercourse. And so these kind of people who who are universally disliked often feel vaguely breached. When someone crosses our limits of comfort, when someone shatters our comfort zone early on, the brain reacts with unease or rejection. And most of the people who are universally disliked are people who tend to ignore other people’s boundaries and expectations either because they’re grandiose and contemptuous or simply autistic unable to decipher and decode the intricacies and fineries of human contact of social uh intercourse. And so these kind of people who who are universally disliked often feel vaguely
21. 14:40 threatening somehow menacing because their behavior is not dictated normatively is not subject to norms and mores and expect social expectations and conventions. Their behavior is seems to emanate from the inside not is not dictated from the outside. In other words, they are not willing participants in the social dance. And so people who are disliked intensely and instantaneously feel unpredictable. Generally we find comfort in situations where we can foresee the behaviors and choices and decisions of other people. threatening somehow menacing because their behavior is not dictated normatively is not subject to norms and mores and expect social expectations and conventions. Their behavior is seems to emanate from the inside not is not dictated from the outside. In other words, they are not willing participants in the social dance. And so people who are disliked intensely and instantaneously feel unpredictable. Generally we find comfort in situations where we can foresee the behaviors and choices and decisions of other people.
22. 15:25 And if we find ourselves in the company of people who display unpredictable behavior through sudden emotion emotion dysregulation, emotional changes or mood changes or because they feel that they are not bound or should not be bound by any norms and and mores or this creates an atmosphere which makes people feel unsafe. And when we feel unsafe, we withdraw. We avoid, we run away basically and we dislike the source of unsafety. We dislike the source of frustration and perceive the whole situation as somehow And if we find ourselves in the company of people who display unpredictable behavior through sudden emotion emotion dysregulation, emotional changes or mood changes or because they feel that they are not bound or should not be bound by any norms and and mores or this creates an atmosphere which makes people feel unsafe. And when we feel unsafe, we withdraw. We avoid, we run away basically and we dislike the source of unsafety. We dislike the source of frustration and perceive the whole situation as somehow
23. 16:02 threatening. Um many people who are disliked uh immediately are people who crave attention and they compete for attention and status. They place an emphasis on relative positioning, oneupmanship, winning competition. All of us have defensive brain responses which activate when a person faces threats to their social standing or their right to control other people or to control at least the situation of the environment. When we are at risk of losing control and losing our standing in the community or society, threatening. Um many people who are disliked uh immediately are people who crave attention and they compete for attention and status. They place an emphasis on relative positioning, oneupmanship, winning competition. All of us have defensive brain responses which activate when a person faces threats to their social standing or their right to control other people or to control at least the situation of the environment. When we are at risk of losing control and losing our standing in the community or society,
24. 16:49 we feel very very undermined and threatened and and challenged. And we experience dislike through this feeling which occurs before anything overt happens, before any conflict or antagonism takes place. It’s a communication style that feels off or right off key. Something’s wrong. This is known as the uncanny valley reaction. Something is wrong. You feel that something is not as it should be. Is the individual facing you is halfbaked or overbaked. And the person the people who are intensely and immediately disliked we feel very very undermined and threatened and and challenged. And we experience dislike through this feeling which occurs before anything overt happens, before any conflict or antagonism takes place. It’s a communication style that feels off or right off key. Something’s wrong. This is known as the uncanny valley reaction. Something is wrong. You feel that something is not as it should be. Is the individual facing you is halfbaked or overbaked. And the person the people who are intensely and immediately disliked
25. 17:32 usually display facial expressions and body movements which conflict with their verbal delivery. They say one thing but their body language communicates a totally different thing. Their posture, their facial expressions. The most minor social indicators such as eye contact and speech rhythm determine a person’s level of safety and comfort when we interact with other people. So if there is um um mismatch mismatch between various modes of communication for example a person’s body language and a person’s speech acts usually display facial expressions and body movements which conflict with their verbal delivery. They say one thing but their body language communicates a totally different thing. Their posture, their facial expressions. The most minor social indicators such as eye contact and speech rhythm determine a person’s level of safety and comfort when we interact with other people. So if there is um um mismatch mismatch between various modes of communication for example a person’s body language and a person’s speech acts
26. 18:13 when there is a mismatch it creates such extreme unease and discomfort that we wish to stay away. One route, one path which leads to this is ignoring social norms and scripts. People are annoyed when they observe someone violating established social norms. Um, for example, interrupting other people, midsp speech or taking control, monopolizing conversations or um taking someone’s property um even momentarily, taking your smartphone. So when people when you when you’re with people who communicate to when there is a mismatch it creates such extreme unease and discomfort that we wish to stay away. One route, one path which leads to this is ignoring social norms and scripts. People are annoyed when they observe someone violating established social norms. Um, for example, interrupting other people, midsp speech or taking control, monopolizing conversations or um taking someone’s property um even momentarily, taking your smartphone. So when people when you when you’re with people who communicate to
27. 19:02 you that they’re not bound by your expectations by social mores by norms by scripts behavioral scripts and so on you feel not only annoyed and irritated but also to some extent threatened. When you are in the presence of people who are unaware of you when you feel unseen you’re not seen. You’re not taken into account. You don’t you don’t count. You don’t you’re meaningless. You’re just there as a prop or whatever. And this unawareness is demonstrated through actions which lead you that they’re not bound by your expectations by social mores by norms by scripts behavioral scripts and so on you feel not only annoyed and irritated but also to some extent threatened. When you are in the presence of people who are unaware of you when you feel unseen you’re not seen. You’re not taken into account. You don’t you don’t count. You don’t you’re meaningless. You’re just there as a prop or whatever. And this unawareness is demonstrated through actions which lead
28. 19:36 to unpleasant reactions in you. Then you would rather avoid the whole situation than the person that that engineers this situation. It triggers emotional insecurity. People who show self asssurance through their critical nature create self-doubt in others. People who criticize you harshly and sadistically, un humiliate you, shame you, undermine you, destabilize you. These are people you would avoid. The emotional pain leads to dislike because it serves as a protective mechanism against emotional to unpleasant reactions in you. Then you would rather avoid the whole situation than the person that that engineers this situation. It triggers emotional insecurity. People who show self asssurance through their critical nature create self-doubt in others. People who criticize you harshly and sadistically, un humiliate you, shame you, undermine you, destabilize you. These are people you would avoid. The emotional pain leads to dislike because it serves as a protective mechanism against emotional
29. 20:13 distress. And of course, harshly criticizing other people is socially unacceptable. This is one example of violating the normative aspect of society of socializing. All these feed into the first impression. We know that biologically we communicate more than 300 pieces of information the sec the first second we meet. Um we communicate information about our immune system. For example, the first second we meet. This is a biological aspect. Similarly, we communicate dozens of items of information regarding who we distress. And of course, harshly criticizing other people is socially unacceptable. This is one example of violating the normative aspect of society of socializing. All these feed into the first impression. We know that biologically we communicate more than 300 pieces of information the sec the first second we meet. Um we communicate information about our immune system. For example, the first second we meet. This is a biological aspect. Similarly, we communicate dozens of items of information regarding who we
30. 21:00 are, what can be expected of us, our behavioral choices, our state of mind, the way we see or not see and other people, our status or expectations regarding status, our competitiveness and so on. All these are communicated within within [snorts] seconds. And so this is what we call a first impression. First impressions are sticky. First contacts between people create opinions that endure sometimes lifelong according to some studies. So when you come across someone and there’s a first impression, are, what can be expected of us, our behavioral choices, our state of mind, the way we see or not see and other people, our status or expectations regarding status, our competitiveness and so on. All these are communicated within within [snorts] seconds. And so this is what we call a first impression. First impressions are sticky. First contacts between people create opinions that endure sometimes lifelong according to some studies. So when you come across someone and there’s a first impression,
31. 21:36 it takes a lot of work and a lot of effort to change this first impression. First impression takes what? 1 minute, 10 minutes, 30 seconds. And then you spend a lifetime trying to reverse it, re-engineer it to to get rid of it. The brain starts searching for proof to support the negative judgment. Confirmation bias. There’s a theory of mind, a theory of the other created in the first encounter. And then we spend a lifetime supporting this theory with selective information. And this is what is known as it takes a lot of work and a lot of effort to change this first impression. First impression takes what? 1 minute, 10 minutes, 30 seconds. And then you spend a lifetime trying to reverse it, re-engineer it to to get rid of it. The brain starts searching for proof to support the negative judgment. Confirmation bias. There’s a theory of mind, a theory of the other created in the first encounter. And then we spend a lifetime supporting this theory with selective information. And this is what is known as
32. 22:16 confirmation bias. The brain makes very fast judgments. The our human brain has developed um to judge quickly because sometimes the difference between life and death was a split-second decision, a split-second judgment and a split-second opinion. This helps people to determine their safety. People develop a dislike for someone within seconds before they begin to think logically about that person, before they begin to assimilate additional information, rearrange it, create narratives. All this is much confirmation bias. The brain makes very fast judgments. The our human brain has developed um to judge quickly because sometimes the difference between life and death was a split-second decision, a split-second judgment and a split-second opinion. This helps people to determine their safety. People develop a dislike for someone within seconds before they begin to think logically about that person, before they begin to assimilate additional information, rearrange it, create narratives. All this is much
33. 22:51 later and all this has is is quite useless. It has a difficult time to undermine the initial impression. System operates without error because it works automatically. Sometimes it produces incorrect results but in a minority of cases for 15% according to some study we judge people accurately within seconds 85% of the time if up to 90% according to some studies. So our gut feelings our intu in intuition are very accurate and that’s why we tend to um believe it. We tend to adhere to it. We tend to follow it later and all this has is is quite useless. It has a difficult time to undermine the initial impression. System operates without error because it works automatically. Sometimes it produces incorrect results but in a minority of cases for 15% according to some study we judge people accurately within seconds 85% of the time if up to 90% according to some studies. So our gut feelings our intu in intuition are very accurate and that’s why we tend to um believe it. We tend to adhere to it. We tend to follow it
34. 23:33 because it works. And so some people communicate to us information which makes us feel unsafe and think this lack of safety is at the core and the foundation of the dislike that we display outwardly. This dislike is an anxiety reaction if not fear. We are anxious about the other person. We are afraid of the other person. We would rather not spend time with the other person, not be in the other person’s ambit ambiencece and environment, not be exposed to the threat that the other person represents. because it works. And so some people communicate to us information which makes us feel unsafe and think this lack of safety is at the core and the foundation of the dislike that we display outwardly. This dislike is an anxiety reaction if not fear. We are anxious about the other person. We are afraid of the other person. We would rather not spend time with the other person, not be in the other person’s ambit ambiencece and environment, not be exposed to the threat that the other person represents.
35. 24:13 And then we tell ourselves we dislike that person. It’s just a way to keep safe and to stay alive. And then we tell ourselves we dislike that person. It’s just a way to keep safe and to stay alive.