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1. 00:01 Let's see if I can make it in under three minutes without sounding like Donald Duck. The cycle of the shared fantasy involves many more phases than we know. It starts with spotting. The narcissist enters a pathological narcissistic space, a physical space, a pub, a
2. 00:19 family, a church, uh classroom, and he spots you. He then subjects you to a series of tests. It's a kind of audition. If you pass the audition, he continues to lovebomb you. Lovebombing is essentially a verbal assault. It's a way to render you ideal in your own eyes
3. 00:42 rather than in the narcissist's eyes. And then the narcissist proceeds to idealize you in his own mind as a maternal figure. So lovebombing and idealization are not the same. Spotting, auditioning, lovebombing, idealization. Psychopath's groom, narcissist lovebomb.
4. 01:00 The next stage, having converted you into a maternal figure in his own mind, the narcissist tests you. He subjects you to narcissistic abuse, which is egregious and extreme. In order to see whether you will stick around and continue to love him unconditionally.
5. 01:17 And then if you do that, the narcissist transitions to the next phase of the shared fantasy. He devalues your internal object. He devalues the introject, the avatar in his mind that represents you. He converts this avatar into an enemy, a pseudary object. And
6. 01:34 then he continues to do the same to you because he doesn't want any gap between you, the external object and the snapshot, the internal object that represents you in his mind. He pushes you to actually misbehave. He provokes all kinds of conflicts. This is known as
7. 01:53 projective identification. And then he devalues you. He discards you and he replaces you with the next participant in a new shared fantasy and so on and so forth. Adnosium. This is known as repetition compulsion. On rare occasions, the narcissist fails to
8. 02:12 disable and deactivate the internal object that used to represent you in his mind, and then he attempts to hoover you because this failure creates dissonance and anxiety, and the narcissist can't live with it. Yes, I've made it 2 minutes and 28 seconds. I'm a genius.
9. 02:34 I'm also a professor of psychology and the author of malignant self-love narcissism revisited.