Why NPD and BPD are Perfect Match?

Uploaded 10/18/2022, approx. 2 minute read

Summary

Narcissism and borderline personality disorder are a perfect match, despite the fact that the narcissist tends to devalue and discard their partner while the borderline has abandonment anxiety. The borderline needs a partner who will idealize them and reduce their abandonment anxiety, but then discard them when they feel suffocated. The only intimate partner who provides both functions reliably is the narcissist.

card, for, in, narcissism, personality disorder

October 18, 2022

One last comment about narcissism and borderlines. This has nothing to do with sexual identity.

Narcissism and borderlines are a perfect match, and this is very surprising.

The narcissist tends to devalue and discard his partner, while the borderline has abandonment anxiety.

Ostensibly, the borderline would never select a narcissist as a partner because abandonment is guaranteed.

Rejection is a four-gun conclusion. Why would a borderline risk that?

Because she also has engulfment anxiety.

The borderline needs a partner who would, at some point, push her away, give her personal space, let her go.

The borderline, when she experiences intimacy, she feels bad, she feels suffocated and smothered, she wants to run away, approach avoidance, repetition, compulsion.

So she needs a partner who would, at first, idealize her and thereby ameliorate her abandonment anxiety, but then when she feels engulfed and enmeshed and digested and assimilated, when she wants to run away to avoid, would be able to discard her by devaluing her.

She needs both functions, and the only intimate partner who provides both functions reliably is the narcissist.

In the initial phases of the shared fantasy, when the narcissist love-bombs the borderline, idealizes the borderline, it reduces her abandonment anxiety.

And in the later stages, when she needs it, the narcissist is available to push her away, to get rid of her, to devalue her and discard her.

And then the cycle starts all over again because narcissists need to hoover and re-idealize their discarded partners.

I dwelt upon it in previous videos.

That’s just a side comment to one of the questions I’ve been asked.

So here in Budapest, sunny, ethereal and beautiful, I wish you all an excellent day with fully formed sexual identity, sexual orientation and God willing sexual behaviors galore.

Summary Link:

https://vakninsummaries.com/ (Full summaries of Sam Vaknin’s videos)

http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/mediakit.html (My work in psychology: Media Kit and Press Room)

Bonus Consultations with Sam Vaknin or Lidija Rangelovska (or both) http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/ctcounsel.html

http://www.youtube.com/samvaknin (Narcissists, Psychopaths, Abuse)

http://www.youtube.com/vakninmusings (World in Conflict and Transition)

http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com (Malignant Self-love: Narcissism Revisited)

http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/cv.html (Biography and Resume)

Summary

card, for, in, narcissism, personality disorder

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