Fake, Narcissistic - or True Friend?

Fake, Narcissistic – or True Friend?

Uploaded 10/5/2013, approx. 1 minute read

Summary

A true friend respects and trusts you only when you have earned it, while a fake, narcissistic friend respects and trusts you regardless of your behavior. A true friend shows you the truth, while a fake friend only shows you your own reflection. A true friend loves you for who you are, while a fake friend loves themselves in the friendship. With a true friend, love is its own reward, while with a fake friend, there must be some other benefit.

for, in, narcissism, Sam Vaknin

October 5, 2013

My name is Sam Vaknin, and I am the author of Malignant Self-Love, Narcissism Revisited.

No matter how self-destructive, self-defeating, and detrimental to yourself, your actions are. A true friend respects you only when you have earned respect, and when you act respectively. A fake, narcissistic friend respects you regardless of your behavior or misbehavior. This is not respect. A true friend trusts you only as long as you prove yourself trustworthy, only while you do not put his trust to the test too often, and only on certain issues. A fake, narcissistic friend trusts you with everything and always, or so she claims. A true friend puts to you a mirror in which you see reality and the truth, never mind how inconvenient or unpleasant. A fake, narcissistic friend puts to you a mirror in which you see your own reflection, yourself, and nothing else besides.

A true friend loves you in your friendship. He loves you even without your friendship. A fake friend loves himself in your friendship, or loves the friendship itself, but she does not love you.

With a true friend, you need never ask, what is he getting out of this relationship? For loving you is its own reward. With a fake, narcissistic friend, you must always ask, why is he still in this relationship? For loving you is never enough of a price. There must be some other anterior multi wall benefit.

Summary Link:

https://vakninsummaries.com/ (Full summaries of Sam Vaknin’s videos)

http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/mediakit.html (My work in psychology: Media Kit and Press Room)

Bonus Consultations with Sam Vaknin or Lidija Rangelovska (or both) http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/ctcounsel.html

http://www.youtube.com/samvaknin (Narcissists, Psychopaths, Abuse)

http://www.youtube.com/vakninmusings (World in Conflict and Transition)

http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com (Malignant Self-love: Narcissism Revisited)

http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/cv.html (Biography and Resume)

Summary

for, in, narcissism, Sam Vaknin

If you enjoyed this article, you might like the following:

Transcripts, Summaries, Short of ALL MY VIDEOS (Bookmark the Links in the Description!)

Sam Vaknin announced the launch of three new resources to enhance the viewing experience of their content: a fully interactive transcript website containing transcripts of all 2,000 videos, a summaries website providing concise video summaries, and a YouTube channel dedicated to 3-5 minute shorts capturing key ideas. These tools aim

August 20, 2025

Strange Things, Indeed! (with Gregory Maass)

In this meeting, Sam Vaknin discussed his theories on narcissistic abuse and personality disorders, exploring complex topics such as the nature of consciousness, the wave function collapse in quantum mechanics, and the psychological underpinnings of creativity and art. He emphasized the limitations of scientific understanding regarding mental events and consciousness,

August 19, 2025

From Reality To Techno-fantasy (Compilation, Part 2)

The speaker, Sam Vaknin, discusses the detrimental impact of modern technology and artificial intelligence (AI) on human empathy, social interactions, and the rise of narcissism, comparing both AI and narcissists as entities that simulate human behavior without genuine understanding or emotion. He warns against the dangers of AI’s control over

August 18, 2025

Social Media Are Not Made for Communication (Conformation Bias) (Political Academy)

The speaker emphasized that social media are not communication tools or media, but platforms for building like-minded communities through shared values and intimacy, while warning against using them for debate or image manipulation. They advised politicians to clearly define their identity, orientation, and approach to managing their social media presence,

August 17, 2025

Are All Gamblers Narcissists? (+Sports Betting) (Gambling Disorder with Brian Pempus)

The discussion explored the complex psychological dynamics of gambling disorder, distinguishing it from professional gambling and emphasizing its nature as a process addiction linked to reward systems rather than impulse control or compulsion. The conversation highlighted strong associations between gambling disorder and personality disorders like narcissistic, antisocial, and borderline personality

August 16, 2025

Narcissist Accuses YOU of Lacking Empathy, Compassion! (Entitled Alloplastic Defense)

The speaker confronted two unrelated individuals about their disrespectful behavior, who both responded with apologies followed by offensive attacks, accusing the speaker of lacking compassion. This reaction is described as an example of aloplastic defenses, where individuals shift blame onto others to avoid personal responsibility and exhibit a strong sense

August 15, 2025

From Drama, Recklessness to Risk Aversion (in Psychopathic Personalities)

The discussion focused on the behavioral evolution of individuals with psychopathic and narcissistic traits, highlighting how their reckless, thrill-seeking behaviors tend to diminish with age, often transforming into more pro-social, risk-averse tendencies. This transition is theorized to involve neurobiological changes and the psychological process of sublimation, where aggressive impulses are

August 14, 2025

Intoxicated in Narcissist’s Shared Fantasy (EXCERPTS with NATV)

The discussion focused on the isolating and manipulative nature of narcissism, describing how narcissists create a detached, idealized reality that traps their victims, cutting them off from meaningful connections and reality checks. It was highlighted that narcissism is a global, pervasive phenomenon exacerbated by societal shifts such as technological isolation,

August 13, 2025

Young Politician? BEWARE of This! (Political Academy)

The speaker addressed young aspiring politicians, warning them about the harsh realities of politics, emphasizing the importance of staying true to oneself despite temptations of corruption and power. He outlined the different types of politicians and political strategies, while stressing that youth is a liability in politics, with limited pathways

August 12, 2025

10 Ways Narcissist Corrupts How You See the World, Others – Part 1 (EXCERPT Skopje Seminar, 2025)

The speaker discussed how narcissistic abuse profoundly alters a victim’s perception of reality by destroying their internal theories of mind and relationships, leading to an epistemic crisis. This abuse causes victims to develop distrust, see the world as hostile and meaningless, and lose the ability to find meaning in life.

August 11, 2025

Vaknin Transcripts