Borderline or Covert Narcissist? (7th Intl. Conference on Psychiatry & Psychological Disorders)
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the differential diagnosis between borderline and covert narcissism. He explains that high-functioning borderlines can be misdiagnosed as covert narcissists due to their ability to regulate their emotions and control mood lability. However, he provides critical differences between the two disorders, including how they externalize aggression, experience separation insecurity, maintain object constancy, and view themselves. He also notes that paranoid ideation is common to both disorders but has different etiologies. Finally, he emphasizes the importance of uncovering all presenting signs and symptoms to make an accurate diagnosis.
How Borderlines, Narcissists Destroy Their Intimacy
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the dynamics of intimacy in relationships involving narcissists and borderlines. He explains how both parties fear intimacy for different reasons and engage in behaviors that undermine it. The discussion delves into the ways in which borderlines cope with abandonment and rejection, including avoidance and self-trashing. Additionally, Vaknin explores how both narcissists and borderlines push each other to abuse them, providing an excuse to break up and start over.
Is Sam Vaknin a Misogynist (Woman-hater)?
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the negative impact of casual sex and the Stold Revolution, where women are rejecting feminine aspects and defining themselves in masculine terms. He argues that this trend is leading to an androgynous unigender state and a decline in relationships between genders. Women are conforming to male stereotypes of sexually emancipated sluts, claiming empowerment, but this is belied by the male double standard. Casual sex has adverse impacts on mental and physical health, and women have a tendency to select inappropriate males for breeding. The missing skills required to maintain intimacy in relationships are the ability to compromise, set boundaries, be vulnerable, tolerate frustration, give space, trust, and cooperate.
Weak People Pleasers? Walk Away!
In this lecture, Professor Sam Vaknin discusses weak people and people pleasers, who he believes are the core problem of humanity. Weak people are suggestible, malleable, and mutable, and they engage in the most disgraceful and antisocial acts simply because they cannot say no. They are enablers in the worst sense of the word, and they provoke abuse and engage in self-harming behaviors. Vaknin advises that people should forgive these individuals, but they should also safeguard their lives and protect their sanity by removing them from their lives.
Root of All Evil: Idea of Progress
Professor Sam Vaknin argues that the idea of progress is the root of all evil, as it has led to dystopian outcomes. He analyzes postmodernity, environmentalism, the Renaissance, and Nazism, showing how they are all interconnected through the idea of progress. Vaknin claims that exclusionary ideas of progress have led to reactionary counter-modernity, such as communism, fascism, Nazism, and religious fundamentalism. He concludes that humanity’s future is at risk due to the belief in progress and the actions taken to achieve it.
Borderline Lies, Narcissism Myths
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the misconceptions and myths surrounding lying in individuals with cluster B personality disorders, such as narcissism, borderline, and antisocial personality disorders. He explains that these individuals often confabulate, or create plausible narratives to fill memory gaps, rather than intentionally lying. Vaknin also highlights the different types of lies and their functions, emphasizing the importance of understanding the reasons behind the lies and creating a safe environment for individuals with cluster B disorders to share the truth.
Trauma Bonding as Fantasy Defense (World Psychiatrists and Psychologists Conference, November 2021)
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the role of fantasy in personality disorders, particularly in Cluster B disorders. Fantasy serves as a defense mechanism, allowing individuals to function by creating a safe space and a barrier between themselves and reality. This is seen in various forms, such as trauma bonding, identity disturbance, and shared fantasies. Dismantling these lifelong fantasy defenses is extremely difficult, as they provide a sense of safety and legitimacy for the individuals involved.
Narcissist as Grieving Infant
In this video, Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the concept of prolonged grief disorder and its connection to narcissism. He explains that narcissists are like traumatized children trapped in adult bodies, and they experience profound sadness and depression as a result of their childhood experiences. He also references a recent study that links childhood maltreatment to depression, insecure attachment styles, and difficulties in maintaining intimate relationships in adulthood.
Overt+Covert Narcissist in One Person: Self-supply (44:17), Binary Narcissism
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the concept of a binary system in narcissism, where both overt and covert narcissistic self-states coexist within an individual. This rare condition occurs when the overt narcissist collapses and fails to transition into a covert narcissist, resulting in both self-states being active simultaneously. This creates internal conflict and dissonance, as the overt self-state attacks the covert self-state, generating self-supply for both. The educational sublimatory channel, which encourages humility, healthy supply, self-esteem, honest communication, and empathy, can be used as a potential healing mechanism in therapy for individuals with this binary system.
Narcissist Between Shared Fantasy and Pathological Narcissistic Space
Narcissists appear unpredictable and complex, but they are actually simple, with the emotional age of a two-year-old. They are trapped between their need for a maternal figure in a shared fantasy and their desire to explore the world through a pathological narcissistic space. When they become disillusioned with either space, they transition between them using four strategies: termination, deception, undermining intimacy, and persecretory object fantasies. This constant movement between the two spaces creates the impression of unpredictability and capriciousness in the narcissist’s behavior.