Narcissist’s Dead Parents Resurrected in His Children
Narcissists often try to recreate their own parents in their offspring, molding their children to resemble their parents’ attributes and behavior patterns. This creates an intergenerational trauma by replicating early childhood conflicts with their own children. Narcissistic parents treat their children as extensions of themselves and use them for their own gratification, leading to a cycle of narcissism. In modern society, many parents may exhibit narcissistic tendencies, raising the question of whether narcissism is becoming the new mode of parenting.
Been Played? Trust Again: Vulnerability, Growth, Healing
In today’s age of pervasive distrust, personal growth and healing depend on our ability to trust and display vulnerabilities. The lack of trust in relationships has led to a rise in infidelity and a decline in marriage rates and birth rates. To restore trust, we must learn to discern true friends from fake ones and develop our vulnerabilities as assets. Trust is essential for love and personal growth, and while it should not be given indiscriminately, taking calculated risks in trusting others can lead to a more fulfilling life.
Healing Narcissism: Cold Therapy Seminar (Part 1 of 11 – Link in Description), Vienna, May 2017
Professor Sam Vaknin introduces Cold Therapy, a new form of psychotherapy based on trauma-related techniques that has had beneficial results in the treatment of certain mood disorders, especially with narcissists. He proposes that pathological narcissism is not a personality disorder, but a post-traumatic condition, and suggests that narcissists are mentally children who should be treated with tools from child psychology. Vaknin also discusses cognitive distortions, attachment theories, and the magical thinking of narcissists.
Your Life Meaningless? Choose Nothingness! (ENGLISH from 02:01)
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the failure of modern society to progress meaningfully despite advancements in science and reason. He highlights the prevalence of wars, refugees, gender conflicts, and antisocial behaviors, indicating a collective and individual failure. Vaknin criticizes materialism and the prioritization of objects over human relationships, calling it a death cult. He advocates for self-reflection and the pursuit of solutions to the human condition, emphasizing the importance of questioning and addressing systemic failures. Vaknin introduces his “nothingness” philosophy, which involves peeling away layers of societal influence to reveal one’s true essence. He argues against the pursuit of material success and encourages a focus on personal growth and authenticity. Vaknin also discusses the dangers of societal norms that promote dominance, complexity, and certainty, and instead recommends embracing happiness, meaning, uncertainty, and the journey of life. He concludes by emphasizing the importance of self-awareness, self-acceptance, self-love, and self-regulation as components of a healthy, authentic existence.
Take Your Life Back, Own It
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses relationships and the importance of distinguishing between real and pseudo-relationships. He emphasizes the need for maintaining individuality and taking responsibility for one’s choices and decisions. He also provides seven rules for self-preservation and shares his perspective on happiness and life. The professor concludes with advice on embracing change and living a life worth remembering.
Lonely=Strong? Age of Alone: New Normal
Loneliness and aloneness are becoming increasingly common in today’s society, with many people lacking intimate relationships, friends, and even engaging in less sex. This has led to various coping mechanisms, such as busyness, creativity, magical thinking, and engaging in online communities or social media. However, these strategies often fail to provide true fulfillment and can lead to mental health issues such as anxiety, depression, and substance abuse. The growing trend of loneliness and aloneness is difficult to reverse, as people become entrenched in their ways and develop an ideology around their solitude.
Why Men Abuse Modern Women, Degrade Them Sexually
Women are now more educated and financially successful than men, leading to a shift in traditional gender roles. However, in sex and interpersonal relationships, women are less empowered than ever, as men use these areas to assert their dominance and punish women for their success. This has led to an increase in infidelity, toxic masculinity, and dark triad personalities in both men and women. As a result, commitment in relationships is declining, and the battle between the sexes is becoming increasingly destructive.
Why Narcissist Hates Your Unborn Child in Shared Fantasy
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses how narcissists react to pregnancy and childbirth. He explains that the changes in a pregnant woman challenge the narcissist’s control and idealized image of their partner, leading to feelings of abandonment and insecurity. The narcissist may devalue and discard their partner, feeling threatened by the loss of attention and control. The pregnancy disrupts the narcissist’s shared fantasy and triggers a desperate attempt to maintain the grandiose fantasy. Ultimately, the narcissist perceives pregnancy as a threat to their control and attempts to suppress any signs of independence or life in their partner.
Choose Intimacy, not Self-sufficiency: Response to Angry Women
Professor Sam Vaknin argues that modern feminism is a cult that has led to negative outcomes for both men and women. He claims that the hookup culture, which is often framed as empowering for women, has actually led to increased rates of depression, anxiety, and substance abuse. Vaknin believes that the only real empowerment for women can come from stable, loving, emotional, equal, and reciprocated relationships, which are not found in hookups or one-night stands. He also criticizes the idea that freedom of choice should extend to self-harm and harming others, as seen in the anti-vaxxer movement.
Why Narcissist Devalues YOU (Hint: Wants YOU “Dead”)
Narcissists devalue their partners as a form of self-defense and control. There are two types of devaluation: preemptive and reactive. Preemptive devaluation occurs when a narcissist is in a transitional state between overt and covert narcissism, and they devalue potential sources of supply to prevent the overt side from using them against the covert side. Reactive devaluation is a response to a perceived threat to the narcissist’s grandiosity or control. Both types of devaluation are harmful to the victim and serve to maintain the narcissist’s sense of power and control.