Narcissistic Autoerotic Dating (Talk with Genevieve DiNatale)
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses various topics in this series of transcripts, including narcissism, psychopathy, gender roles, and online dating. He explains that narcissism has a genetic component and can be caused by any breach of boundaries that denies the child separation from parental figures. He also talks about the sadomasochistic tendencies of narcissists and how they create self-justifying narratives. Additionally, he discusses the decline in sexual activity and childbirth rates in the younger generation, which he attributes to atomization, self-isolation, and technological empowerment. Finally, he talks about the phenomenon of online dating and social media infidelity, stating that men and women have different motivations for being on dating apps, and most interactions are for self-validation, entertainment, and filling time.
So, Can You Change Your Attachment Style?
Attachment styles are stable but attachment behaviors can be modified. The internal relationship model is formed in childhood and influences how people interact and build relationships. Life crises and having a good partner can mitigate insecure attachment styles, but personal growth and development come from being vulnerable and open to loss. Internal working models are dynamic and can change with self-awareness and experience.
Capitalism: Religion of Envy
Capitalism is founded on envy, not jealousy, and this relationship drives the system. Envy is a pathological manifestation of destructive aggressiveness, distinct from jealousy, which is constructive. Envy is engendered by the realization of some lack, deficiency, or inadequacy in oneself, and it is a perpetual mobile that feeds on itself. The playing field in capitalism is heavily skewed and biased, and laws that were supposed to have amended or corrected justice and equity are not being implemented because politicians are in the pocket of the rich.
Metaverse Sex and Gender: Sex Bots and AI (Artificial Intelligence)
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the future of sex and relationships, which he believes will be dominated by artificial intelligence and virtual reality. He presents two examples of ethical dilemmas that arise from this new normal, including the question of whether a woman using a haptic dildo is really a man and whether having sex with an artificial intelligence robot is cheating on a partner. Vaknin argues that these issues challenge the very fabric of reality and society’s organization by gender and sex, and that we are poorly equipped to cope with the Blade Runner era that is fast approaching.
No “Wrong” Partner, Other Moronic Relationship Advice
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the concept of mate selection and attachment styles. He argues that individuals tend to select partners who resonate with their psychological makeup and attachment style, and that this is a result of an evolutionary process. Vaknin also emphasizes the importance of considering a partner’s past behavior as the best predictor of future behavior, contrary to the advice given by some self-help gurus. He warns against blindly following online advice and encourages individuals to be thorough in understanding their potential intimate partners.
Deprogram the Narcissist in Your Mind
Narcissists play the role of a good enough mother, adopting a maternal role and idealizing their victims. They regress their victims to infancy, merging and fusing with them, eliminating their individuality and appropriating their individuality. The narcissist creates an introject, an internal representation of the victim, which is muted and spews out words attributed to the introject by the narcissist. The victim has an introject of the narcissist in their head, which is fully active and talks a lot, becoming a second, harsh, sadistic inner critic. The current advice to recognize and embrace victimhood is counterproductive, as it freezes the emergent roles allocated by the narcissist, and the locus of control remains in the narcissist’s hands. Victims need to extricate
Women: Red Pill Nonsense Refuted
Professor Sam Vaknin’s lecture discusses the misconceptions and myths perpetuated by the manosphere community. He refutes the idea that the Pareto principle applies to dating and mating, stating that women prefer “beta males” over “alpha males” even for one-night stands. Vaknin also debunks the myth of hypergamy, stating that women have been marrying down in recent years due to increased education and income levels. Lastly, he addresses the myth that women do not consume as much pornography as men, explaining that women consume more text-based pornography than visual pornography.
7th Extinction Engineered by Psychopath Sociosexuals, Narcissist Asexuals
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the distinctions between psychopathy and narcissism, particularly in the context of sexuality and relationships. He delves into the concepts of social sexuality and proposes a new category, dysregulated social sexuality. Vaknin also explores the impact of psychopathy and narcissism on modern dating and relationships, highlighting the prevalence of transactional sex and its correlation with dark triad traits. He criticizes the societal shift towards toxic masculinity and promiscuity, and the resulting confusion between love, intimacy, and codependency. Vaknin ultimately paints a bleak picture of the current state of relationships and sexuality, attributing it to the influence of psychopathic and narcissistic behaviors.
Borderlines: No Win Relationships, BPD Enigmas Decoded
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the complex dynamics between individuals with borderline personality disorder (BPD) and narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) in intimate relationships. He explains that people with BPD experience two types of anxiety: abandonment anxiety and engulfment anxiety. These anxieties lead to approach-avoidance behaviors, which can be disorienting and confusing for their partners. Vaknin also highlights the concept of dual mothering in narcissist-borderline relationships, where the narcissist provides unconditional love to the borderline, while the borderline becomes the narcissist’s “dead mother,” allowing the narcissist to attempt to heal and fix their original mother through the borderline partner. This dynamic creates a strong bond between the two, making it difficult for them to separate.
Borderline is Narcissist’s “Dead” Mother, Parentifies Him as Her Rescuer (EXCERPT)
Borderlines tend to team up with narcissists in intimate relationships, and the borderline narcissistic couple is a well-established clinical fact. The reason for this is that the borderline and the narcissist trigger each other’s wounds, what Joanna La Chapelle calls the V-spot, the vulnerability spot. The narcissist becomes a maternal figure, and in return, the intimate partner mothers the narcissist. When the narcissist teams up with a borderline, the borderline becomes the narcissist’s dead mother, and by becoming his dead mother, she allows him to parentify himself.