Haunted Minds of Narcissist, Borderline: Schizoid Empty Core
In the lecture, Professor Sam Vaknin delves into the concept of emptiness and void at the core of borderline and narcissistic personality disorders. He uses metaphors from physics, such as the supernova and black holes, to explain the internal experiences of individuals with these disorders. He discusses the “hollow personality” and the impact of the void on behaviors and relationships. Vaknin also explores the schizoid personality and its characteristics, emphasizing the intense loneliness and longing for attachment experienced by individuals with these disorders. He delves into the concept of identity and the challenges faced by those with borderline and narcissistic personality disorders in forming a stable sense of self.
What Happens When Narcissists Meet Each Other or a Psychopath?
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the concept of the uncanny valley, which is the discomfort people feel when encountering a narcissist. He explains how different types of narcissists interact with each other and with psychopaths, highlighting the immediate and distinct reactions that occur. Vaknin suggests that these interactions can serve as a litmus test for diagnosing personality disorders.
Secrets of Strong, Lasting Relationships
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the characteristics of strong and resilient relationships. He emphasizes the importance of shared vision, continued sexuality, and prioritizing the relationship above all else. He also explores the different types of successful marriages and the tasks that couples must perform to establish a strong and happy relationship. Vaknin draws on the work of Judith Wallerstein and highlights the significance of maintaining love, intimacy, and communication in relationships.
Unforgiving Narcissist Hoovers to Revenge, Holds Grudges
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the concept of hoovering and how it can be driven by a narcissist’s grudge against the victim. He explains the differences between rail hoovering and vengeful hoovering, and provides warning signs to identify the latter. The lecture delves into the reasons why narcissists find it nearly impossible to forgive, forget, and move on, and how holding grudges serves to reconstitute their grandiosity. Additionally, the lecture explores the role of grudges as a relationship management tool and the psychodynamic reasons behind a narcissist’s tendency to maintain grudges.
Skin-deep Narcissist, Skinless Borderline
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the use of metaphors to understand narcissism and psychopathy, comparing them to natural phenomena. He introduces the metaphor of the skin, likening the narcissist’s false self to the skin’s protective functions and characteristics. He emphasizes the false self’s role in shielding the narcissist from reality and facilitating the conversion of reality into fantasy. Additionally, he explores the false self’s hypervigilance and its impact on the narcissist’s perception of the world.
Narcissism is NOT High Self-esteem, Self-worth, Self-confidence (Role of Attribution Error)
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the differences between self-confidence, high self-esteem, and narcissism in this lecture. He explains that healthy self-esteem involves self-acceptance and self-love, while narcissism is compensatory and volatile. He delves into the concept of attribution errors and how they relate to narcissism, as well as the cultural and societal influences on self-esteem. Vaknin emphasizes the importance of stability and self-regulation in healthy self-worth, self-esteem, and self-confidence, contrasting them with the external and unstable nature of narcissism.
Narcissist at Work? 3 Best Ways to Handle Him/Her! (EXCERPT with Conor Ryan, Eyes Wide Open Podcast)
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses dealing with narcissists in a corporate environment, advising to either disconnect or use the “gray rock” method to render oneself uninteresting to the narcissist. He warns of the dangers of challenging or humiliating a narcissist, as they can be vindictive and seek to ruin one’s life. Vaknin also explores the relationship between technology, social media, and the rise of narcissism, suggesting that technology rewards and empowers narcissistic behavior, creating a self-generating feedback loop.
Borderline’s Good Object, Bad Behaviors
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the concept of a “good object” as a constellation of voices that inform an individual of their worth and value. He explains how individuals with borderline personality disorder possess a compensatory good object, which serves to reconcile their self-perception with their behaviors. Vaknin also delves into the role of compensation in analytical psychology, emphasizing its positive function in shaping the self. Additionally, he explores the use of compensatory structures in the formation and functioning of the self, as described by Heinz Kohut. Ultimately, Vaknin highlights how both borderline individuals and narcissists utilize compensation to maintain their sense of self.
What Happiness is NOT and IS (with Andrei Tanase, Filmmaker)
In this lecture, Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the etymology of the word “happiness” and its historical meanings. He explains that happiness was originally associated with luck, prosperity, and wealth. He outlines the three components of happiness, which include managing one’s life well, contributing to something outside oneself, and conducting oneself with dignity and integrity. Vaknin emphasizes that happiness is a state of being, not gratification, and that it is internal, not external. He also delves into the concept of authenticity and the importance of being true to oneself. Additionally, he explores the idea of studying unhappiness as a means of understanding happiness, and the role of language in shaping our understanding of happiness.
Why Narcissists are Successful: Cat- vs. Grin Narcopaths (Narcissism Cheshire Effect)
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the success of narcissists and psychopaths in society, attributing it to their ability to thrive in a world that values fantasy and manipulation of symbols in fantastic spaces. He explains the distinction between “cat” narcissists and “green” narcissists, with the latter being more focused on internal feelings and fantasy. Vaknin argues that modern civilization is constructed on the manipulation of symbols and fantastic spaces, providing an advantage to narcissists and psychopaths. He also predicts a future dominated by narcissism and psychopathy, with individuals needing to adapt to this reality to succeed.