Why Narcissist MUST Sacrifice YOU to False Self
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the dominance of the false self in narcissism, explaining that the false self is a primitive, savage, parental deity that demands human sacrifice. The false self is a compensatory process that conflicts with and rejects anyone who enters the narcissist’s life and becomes a maternal figure, leading to the sacrifice of the individual to the false self. The shared fantasy is a reenactment of the failed early childhood separation and individuation, and the devaluation and discard are symbolic reenactments of separation from the original mother. The narcissist remains stuck with the maternal introject, creating dissonance and perpetuating inner conflict.
NEVER SAY THIS to Depressed, Anxious (Pollyannaish Invalidation)
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the importance of choosing the right words when trying to help someone dealing with depression and anxiety. He emphasizes the need to avoid minimizing or invalidating the person’s experiences and to respect their individuality. Vaknin advises against using cliches and instead encourages active listening and empathy. He warns against being overly optimistic or trying to “fix” the person, and stresses the importance of providing companionship and support without imposing one’s own views or judgments.
Narcissist As Never Seen Before (Bootleg Snippets, Zagreb Lecture, March 2024)
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses narcissism and offers to give lectures to clinicians and mental health practitioners in North Macedonia and other European countries. He explains the concept of autoerotism and its impact on a child’s development, as well as the different types of narcissistic interpersonal relationships. He delves into the grief experienced after narcissistic abuse and the shared fantasy between the narcissist and their intimate partner. Vaknin also addresses the dynamics of narcissism, including splitting and projection, and the impact of narcissists on those around them.
Why do We Hate (Talk TV with Trisha Goddard)
Renowned clinical psychologist Sam Vaknin discusses the psychology of hate, explaining that people tend to hate those who resemble them most and those who attempt to become like them. He delves into defense mechanisms such as reaction formation, splitting, and projection that contribute to rejection of others. Vaknin also highlights the role of politicians in using hate to separate people and the transition to an age of entitled competitive victimhood. He suggests that empathy skills and reducing anxiety about competition for scarce resources can help in fostering love and understanding.
Self-styled Narcissism “Experts”, Psychology Credentials
In the lecture, Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the concept of self-styled experts in psychology and the criteria for defining true expertise in the field. He emphasizes the importance of dedication, publication in peer-reviewed journals, and participation in international conferences as key indicators of expertise. Vaknin also addresses the relevance of academic degrees in psychology, highlighting that while they are important for certain activities such as diagnosing and treating individuals, they are not necessary for creating new theories or treatment modalities. Additionally, he advocates for the inclusion of laymen’s experiences and perspectives in psychology, arguing that their insights can provide valuable information for scholars. Overall, Vaknin aims to disambiguate the confusion surrounding credentials and expertise in the field of psychology.
Hoovered by Narcissist? Now What?
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the concept of “hoovering” in narcissism, which involves the narcissist’s attempt to re-idealize a former partner or to project the idealized image of the former partner onto a new one. This behavior is driven by the narcissist’s internal dynamics and the need to resolve dissonance and anxiety. The hoovering shared fantasy is unstable and lacks direction, leading to self-destructive and self-defeating behavior by the narcissist. Ultimately, the hoovering attempts are doomed to fail, making the narcissist’s life tragicomic.
Child Thwarted, Narcissist is Born (Zagreb Lecture EXCERPT) (BOOTLEG)
In this lecture, Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the development of pathological narcissism and its underlying psychodynamics. He explains that narcissism is a post-traumatic condition that begins in early childhood when a child’s need to be seen by their primary caregiver is not met, leading to a failure to develop a core identity, ego, and a proper sense of reality. Vaknin describes how narcissists are unable to distinguish between themselves and others, leading to a lack of boundaries and an internal emptiness. He also covers concepts such as narcissistic supply, external regulation, self-supply, narcissistic collapse, and the formation of bad and idealized objects within the narcissist’s psyche. The lecture concludes with a promise to discuss how these dynamics play out in romantic relationships, emphasizing that the mechanisms are the same in all interpersonal relationships for a narcissist.
How Narcissist “Loves” YOU (Zagreb Lecture EXCERPT) (BOOTLEG)
In this lecture, Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the concept of the unconscious and its role in narcissism. He explains that defense mechanisms are automatic but not unconscious, and that the concept of the unconscious is debatable in psychology. He also touches on the history of the unconscious and its role in different psychological theories. The lecture ends with a thank you to the audience and the organizer for their participation.
Narcissist’s Elation is YOU in Shared Fantasy
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the concept of fantasy and narcissistic elation, emphasizing the role of fantasy in regulating the narcissist’s emotions and self-perception. He explains the differences between the bad object and the idealized object, and how they relate to reality testing. Vaknin delves into the concept of narcissistic elation, describing it as a memory of a symbiotic bond with a maternal figure and its role in the shared fantasy. He also explores the impact of narcissistic elation on the narcissist’s relationships and behaviors.
Narcissism: Silence of the Introjects, Including You (Multitasking to Infantilism)
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the role of the false self in pathological narcissism, focusing on its function to silence inner voices, known as introjects. The false self acts as a censor, banishing conflicting introjects and creating a one-party state in the narcissist’s mind. The false self’s success is measured by how effectively it silences the introjects, leading to a constant need for the narcissist to multitask and maintain the false self, resulting in mental exhaustion and constant anxiety. This intricate machinery behind narcissism goes beyond simple behavior and involves a complex interplay of internal dynamics.