NILF: Why Narcissists are Irresistible, Sexy (to some)
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the irresistible allure of narcissists, particularly in the context of romantic and sexual relationships. He delves into the reasons behind the discrepancy between the repulsive nature of narcissists and the way victims describe them as attractive and seductive. Vaknin explores the psychological dynamics at play, including the promise of unbridled sex, the narcissist’s ability to create a shared fantasy, and the impact of danger and self-confidence. He also differentiates between overt and covert narcissists, and their respective approaches to relationships. Ultimately, he emphasizes the importance of self-reflection for victims of narcissistic abuse to avoid repetition compulsion.
Grandpa Sam’s Thoughts for a New Year
The text discusses various topics including New Year’s greetings, narcissism, relationships, intelligence, impulse control, and societal issues. It emphasizes the importance of changing one’s environment, addressing toxic relationships, and striving for personal growth. The text also delves into the dynamics of narcissistic shared fantasies and the impact of early childhood experiences on personality development. Additionally, it touches on the concepts of faking kindness, the fear of positive emotions, and the pursuit of contentment. The author concludes by encouraging readers to initiate positive changes in their lives and strive for inner and outer peace.
Fascism is Political Malignant Narcissism (Brussels Morning)
Sam Vaknin discusses the accusation that Donald Trump is leading the United States towards fascism. He argues that it is important to address narcissists in politics and prevent them from attaining power. Vaknin delves into the characteristics and tensions within fascist movements, and concludes that Trump exhibits traits of a fascist.
Self-destructive Narcissist = Masochist? (Compilation)
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the concepts of anti-narcissism, masochism, and sexual self-trashing, and how they interrelate. Anti-narcissism is not about being altruistic or nice, but rather a form of narcissism that involves externalizing one’s emotional investment, leading to self-generated narcissistic supply. This can manifest in behaviors that appear benevolent but are actually self-serving. Anti-narcissists are often masochistic, engaging in self-trashing behaviors, especially sexual ones, to generate a sense of supply from within. They may appear to give and help others, but their actions are driven by an internal need for self-sufficiency and self-supply, rather than genuine empathy or connection with others.
Why YOU Exist Through Other People’s Gaze? (Compilation)
Homosexuality is a biological sexual orientation that is not determined by upbringing or parental roles. It involves a failure in the process of “othering,” where individuals cannot perceive others as separate external entities. This leads to a reliance on sexual partners to complete one’s sexual identity, which is not fully integrated. Homosexuality is not a pathology but a form of external regulation limited to sexual identity. It is distinct from narcissism and borderline personality disorder, which involve more pervasive external regulation. Homosexual relationships can be healing by providing the experience of an integrated sexual identity.
Shy/Quiet Borderline “Diagnosis”, Reality vs. Phantasy/Fantasy
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the book “A Little Life” and emphasizes the importance of relying on scientific evidence rather than personal anecdotes. He rejects the proposed diagnosis of “shy or quiet borderline” and explains the differences between narcissistic and borderline fantasies. He also delves into the psychodynamics of narcissistic and borderline personality disorders, highlighting their distinct etiologies and behaviors.
Narcissist’s Revenge: Signs YOU are in DANGER
The text discusses the life of a narcissist, their response to frustration, and their transition to borderline and psychopathic states. It also delves into the narcissist’s use of revenge and aggression, and the different types of revenge, including punitive, narcissistic, and pragmatic restorative. The text emphasizes the narcissist’s perception of frustration as narcissistic injury and their use of aggression to eliminate the source of frustration. It also highlights the dangerous potential for violence in some narcissists.
Gender Firewalls in Unigender Vertigo
The text discusses two recent studies on gender relations and the author’s analysis of them. It also delves into six trends that have led to a growing hostility and conflict between men and women. The trends include the adoption of traditional masculine traits by women, the erosion of gender roles, and the rise of self-objectification and detachment in relationships. The author also highlights the impact of these trends on intimacy, sexuality, and mental health.
Narcissist: Til Uniqueness Do Us Part
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the concept of uniqueness and its relation to narcissism. He explains how narcissists struggle with their own sense of uniqueness and seek external validation to confirm it. He also delves into the distinction between the basic and complex components of uniqueness, as well as the role of societal judgment in determining an individual’s uniqueness. Additionally, he explores the narcissist’s reliance on external feedback to maintain their sense of uniqueness and their tendency to compare themselves to historical figures to bolster their self-worth.
Narcissistic Abuse Inside Out: Charles Bowes-Taylor Interviews Compilation
Sam Vaknin discusses his work on narcissism, emphasizing that he is not the originator of the term “narcissistic supply,” but he has redefined and adopted terms from other psychological disciplines to describe narcissism and narcissistic abuse. He explains that narcissists lack a true self and ego, relying on external input to regulate their internal environment and self-perception. Vaknin also describes narcissism as a positive adaptation in modern society, where narcissistic traits can lead to favorable outcomes. He distinguishes between overt and covert narcissism, explaining that covert narcissists are more dangerous due to their hidden nature and passive-aggressive tendencies. Vaknin suggests that narcissism is not just a personality disorder but also a post-traumatic condition and a form of dissociation, similar to multiple personality disorder. He advocates for treating narcissism with approaches used for childhood disorders, trauma-related disorders, and multiple personality disorders, which he has integrated into his cold therapy treatment.