Two Inner Children Parentified In Narcissist’s Shared Fantasy
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the concept of the inner child in the context of narcissistic relationships. He explains how narcissists regress their partners to a childlike state and then coerce them to parent the narcissist. This dynamic leads to dysfunctional behaviors and mental illness. The professor also criticizes psychology as a pseudoscience and emphasizes the importance of maintaining a connection with the inner child while avoiding regression.
12 Reasons to Divorce
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the complexities of divorce, including the historical dynamics of the couple, the rise of divorce as an exit strategy, and the impact of modern societal trends on relationships. He reviews 12 common reasons for divorce, such as communication issues, lack of love or intimacy, lack of partnership, and infidelity. Vaknin emphasizes the importance of redefining love and addressing issues such as addiction, domestic violence, and financial problems in relationships. He also highlights the impact of fatigue, lack of emotional support, and changes in self-identity as contributing factors to divorce.
Why Narcissist Must Win, Be Right ( Psychopath, Too!)
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the reasons why narcissists always feel the need to win and be right. He explains that narcissists and psychopaths interact with the game, not with the players, and define winning as a win-lose situation. They engage in preemptive winning and are willing to pay a heavy personal price to maintain their grandiosity. Their insistence on winning and being right is a defense of their fragile self-image and a rejection of reality and everyone in it.
Message to Mentally Ill: You are Doing the Best You Can!
Mental illness is a pervasive, consuming, and defining force that affects individuals and their relationships. It is a constant companion, overwhelming and debilitating, leading to self-loathing and self-defeat. The mentally ill face stigma, ostracization, and ridicule, as they struggle to fit in and make others happy. Despite the challenges, they continue to strive for success and self-acceptance, embracing defeat and failure as part of their journey.
New Take on Depression (Compilation)
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses depression as a cognitive distortion, not a mood disorder. He argues that depression is a filter through which reality is misperceived, and it can have positive adaptations in certain contexts. He also delves into the different types of depression experienced by narcissists, linking their depressive states to their need for external validation and their internal struggles.
Emotional Flashbacks of Gaslighting Empaths and Other Ignorant Nonsense (Compilation)
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the concepts of empathy and gaslighting, criticizing the use of the term “empath” as a self-aggrandizing label with no clinical significance. He asserts that everyone has empathy, including narcissists and psychopaths, who possess a form of “cold empathy.” Vaknin warns that individuals who claim to have met their “twin flame” are likely being groomed by a narcissist or psychopath through a process of idealized mirroring and identification, which leads to self-infatuation and a shared fantasy with cult-like features. He explains that the “twin flame” becomes a surrogate parental figure and a false self, regressing the individual to an infantile state of dependency and fusion, ultimately compromising their identity and autonomy. Vaknin advises against adopting the label of “empath” as it reinforces the abuser’s control and impedes personal growth and healing.
Recover from Narcissistic Abuse: Accept Your Role in It (with Brian Barnes)
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses his personal journey from prison to becoming an expert on narcissism and narcissistic abuse. He emphasizes the importance of self-awareness, self-acceptance, and self-forgiveness as tools for recovery. He also addresses the challenges of co-parenting with a narcissist and the impact on children. Despite his contributions to the field, he admits to lacking emotional resonance and self-care due to his own narcissistic tendencies.
Are You Narcissist’s MOTHER Or TOY?
The text discusses the narcissist’s relationship with others as toys and the concept of transitional objects in psychology. It explains how the narcissist’s inability to separate from the mother leads to a lack of attachment and the use of intimate partners as mother substitutes. The text also delves into the psychopathic aspect of the narcissist and the role of transitional objects in facilitating separation from the mother.
How to Love Yourself Into Healing, But Not Become a Narcissist (Compilation)
In this lecture, Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the importance of self-love and the steps to develop a core identity. He emphasizes the significance of relationships and distinguishes between micro-relationships, real relationships, and pseudo-relationships. Vaknin highlights the need to maintain individuality within relationships and stresses the importance of taking responsibility for one’s choices and behaviors. He outlines the four conditions for healthy self-love: self-awareness, self-acceptance, self-trust, and self-efficacy. Vaknin also delves into the significance of finding meaning in life and the value of introspection and silence in personal growth and healing.
How Narcissist LOVES YOU To ( YOUR) DEATH!
The concept of libido has evolved from being narrowly sexual to encompassing all expressions of love, pleasure, and self-preservation. In psychoanalytic theory, libido is the psychic energy of the life instinct, especially the sexual instinct. Healthy, normal human beings love others through the life instinct, while narcissists love through the death instinct, seeking to control and disable their love objects. Narcissists are incapable of true love due to their lack of a fully formed ego and inability to access positive emotions. Love involves passion, intimacy, and commitment, and is a complex state with various forms and scales. Freud and Jung both believed in psychic energy, with Freud suggesting that it is directed at finding pleasure and Jung emphasizing its role in the development of personality and expression of cultural and spiritual values.