Why Narcissist MUST Sacrifice YOU to False Self
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the dominance of the false self in narcissism, explaining that the false self is a primitive, savage, parental deity that demands human sacrifice. The false self is a compensatory process that conflicts with and rejects anyone who enters the narcissist’s life and becomes a maternal figure, leading to the sacrifice of the individual to the false self. The shared fantasy is a reenactment of the failed early childhood separation and individuation, and the devaluation and discard are symbolic reenactments of separation from the original mother. The narcissist remains stuck with the maternal introject, creating dissonance and perpetuating inner conflict.
Narcissist As Never Seen Before (Bootleg Snippets, Zagreb Lecture, March 2024)
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses narcissism and offers to give lectures to clinicians and mental health practitioners in North Macedonia and other European countries. He explains the concept of autoerotism and its impact on a child’s development, as well as the different types of narcissistic interpersonal relationships. He delves into the grief experienced after narcissistic abuse and the shared fantasy between the narcissist and their intimate partner. Vaknin also addresses the dynamics of narcissism, including splitting and projection, and the impact of narcissists on those around them.
Narcissistic Abuse: Purposeful, Not Intentional
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses whether narcissistic abuse is intentional or not. He argues that while the actions of narcissists fulfill a purpose, they are not intentional, as narcissists lack a core identity and cannot distinguish between reality and fantasy. In contrast, psychopaths act purposefully and intentionally, with full awareness of their motivations and the impact on others. The narcissist’s main goal is to obtain narcissistic supply and resolve internal conflicts, while the psychopath is focused on gratification and is outward-looking. Ultimately, the narcissist is driven by unconscious forces, while the psychopath is a conscious and calculating manipulator.
Narcissist’s Elation is YOU in Shared Fantasy
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the concept of fantasy and narcissistic elation, emphasizing the role of fantasy in regulating the narcissist’s emotions and self-perception. He explains the differences between the bad object and the idealized object, and how they relate to reality testing. Vaknin delves into the concept of narcissistic elation, describing it as a memory of a symbiotic bond with a maternal figure and its role in the shared fantasy. He also explores the impact of narcissistic elation on the narcissist’s relationships and behaviors.
Borderline’s Life is Worth Living, Technicolor Adventure
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the misconceptions and despair surrounding borderline personality disorder. He emphasizes the positive prognosis and effective treatment modalities for the disorder, such as dialectical behavior therapy. Vaknin highlights the creativity, intensity, and enlightenment that individuals with borderline personality disorder possess, and the potential for personal growth and evolution. He encourages those with the disorder not to give up, as their lives are worth living and can have a positive impact on the world.
Narcissist Imagines Himself Through YOUR Gaze (Attributional Delusions)
Narcissists idealize themselves through the gaze of other people, known as narcissistic supply, and make assumptions about how others perceive them. They react strongly to their assumptions about the gaze of others, attributing thoughts and beliefs to them without checking if they are correct. This idealization is two-faced, as they idealize others to gain their power to idealize them. Narcissists transition between states, but their desperate need for the gaze of others and their self-love and sexual attraction to themselves remain constant. This self-love is not genuine, but rather a form of limerence, infatuation, or lust.
Haunted Minds of Narcissist, Borderline: Schizoid Empty Core
In the lecture, Professor Sam Vaknin delves into the concept of emptiness and void at the core of borderline and narcissistic personality disorders. He uses metaphors from physics, such as the supernova and black holes, to explain the internal experiences of individuals with these disorders. He discusses the “hollow personality” and the impact of the void on behaviors and relationships. Vaknin also explores the schizoid personality and its characteristics, emphasizing the intense loneliness and longing for attachment experienced by individuals with these disorders. He delves into the concept of identity and the challenges faced by those with borderline and narcissistic personality disorders in forming a stable sense of self.
Unforgiving Narcissist Hoovers to Revenge, Holds Grudges
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the concept of hoovering and how it can be driven by a narcissist’s grudge against the victim. He explains the differences between rail hoovering and vengeful hoovering, and provides warning signs to identify the latter. The lecture delves into the reasons why narcissists find it nearly impossible to forgive, forget, and move on, and how holding grudges serves to reconstitute their grandiosity. Additionally, the lecture explores the role of grudges as a relationship management tool and the psychodynamic reasons behind a narcissist’s tendency to maintain grudges.
Narcissism is NOT High Self-esteem, Self-worth, Self-confidence (Role of Attribution Error)
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the differences between self-confidence, high self-esteem, and narcissism in this lecture. He explains that healthy self-esteem involves self-acceptance and self-love, while narcissism is compensatory and volatile. He delves into the concept of attribution errors and how they relate to narcissism, as well as the cultural and societal influences on self-esteem. Vaknin emphasizes the importance of stability and self-regulation in healthy self-worth, self-esteem, and self-confidence, contrasting them with the external and unstable nature of narcissism.
Narcissism Virus: Genes, Deception, Brain, Mind (Compilation)
Narcissists and psychopaths are facing increasing difficulties in finding victims due to heightened awareness and stigmatization of their behaviors. As victim awareness grows and behaviors associated with narcissistic abuse become criminalized, the pool of potential targets shrinks. This leads to a situation where predators may team up to hunt collectively, as predicted by game theory models like the Hawk-Dove model and the Lotka-Volterra predator-prey model. These models suggest that as the number of predators increases and the number of prey decreases, the predator population will eventually decline. This raises questions about the role of predators like narcissists and psychopaths in society and whether their decline could lead to trophic cascades, which are powerful indirect interactions that can control entire ecosystems. The future impact of increased awareness, stigmatization, and criminalization on the survival and behaviors of narcissists and psychopaths remains an open question.