How Psychology Stats Lie To You
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the problems with using statistics in psychology, including the fact that many psychologists do not know how to use statistics properly, the vast majority of psychological studies are comprised of a tiny sample, and the issue of normative validation. He also identifies biases that limit a specific set of statistics and the issue of graphical presentation, which can be misleading. Vaknin emphasizes the importance of scrutinizing the validity of the source and questioning the figures presented.
4 Things To Say To Your Avoidant Borderline ( 5 Dynamics)
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the challenges of dealing with a borderline personality and offers advice on how to cope with their avoidance. He explains the internal processes and dynamics that drive the borderline’s behavior, including issues with attachment, identity disturbance, and dissociation. Vaknin also emphasizes the importance of setting boundaries and providing stability and reassurance to the borderline. He suggests specific sentences to say to a borderline in order to address their abandonment anxiety and provide a holding environment.
3 Phases of Borderline’s Rollercoaster
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the regulatory cycle of the borderline personality disorder. The borderline seeks an intimate partner to provide her with a sense of inner peace, stability, and safety. The intimate partner becomes an extension of the borderline’s inner turmoil, and the borderline creates a shared fantasy with the partner. The cycle has three phases: shared fantasy, disillusionment, and transactional regulatory valley. The cycle is inevitable and ineluctable, and the borderline will try to recreate a shared fantasy with the partner or an ex-partner or become sexually self-trashing.
YOU are Narcissist’s Tradition, His Reflexive Self
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the concept of the reflexive self, which is the idea that individuals form their identities through constant self-reflection and self-awareness. He explains that in traditional societies, self-reflection was limited by the boundaries set by traditions, which provided a sense of stability and ontological security. However, in post-traditional societies, the collapse of traditions has led to an extension of reflexivity, which can be both empowering and anxiety-inducing. While Giddens’ work on reflexivity has been criticized for oversimplifying the relationship between social structures and individual agency, it remains an important concept in understanding the formation of identity in contemporary society.
2 Types of Bad Partner: Too Present, or Too Absent
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the issue of selecting the wrong bed partners, attributing it to insecure attachment styles developed in dysfunctional families. He identifies two types of bad partners: those who are absent and threaten presence, and those who smother with their presence and threaten with their absence. He explains that individuals from dysfunctional families tend to alternate between these two types of partners in an attempt to compensate for the deficiencies of the previous partner. These patterns are a result of unresolved childhood conflicts and the need to reenact them in adult relationships.
Is Fantasy Good for You? Fantasy vs. Lies vs. Delusion vs. Confabulation
Fantasy is a psychological defense mechanism that helps people cope with an unbearable reality. There are two types of fantasy: person-centered and process-centered. Person-centered fantasies revolve around another person and often dissolve into reality, leading to chaos. Process-centered fantasies are based on a narrative or impersonal process and can be more benign and long-lasting. Transitioning from person-centered to process-centered fantasies can be a therapeutic goal for individuals struggling with mental health issues.
Grieving Your Dead Narcissist
In this transcript, Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the phenomenon of grieving the death of a narcissist. He explains that prolonged grief syndrome is typical of ex-partners who were or are narcissists and that closure becomes impossible when the narcissist dies. The grieving process is complicated by the narcissistic abuse, which is an invasion, a breach of boundaries, and a torment intended to modify behavior to the point of vanishing. The narcissist’s absence in relationships and internal emptiness are on full display when he dies, and the introject of the narcissist is extremely active, taking over the mind of the grieving person.
Hypervigilance and Intuition as Forms of Anxiety
Anxiety is a complex emotion that shapeshifts and invades every cell of the psyche, causing cognitive distortions such as catastrophizing and leading to comorbidities such as depression. Anxiety is closely associated with multiple mental health dysfunctions, including hypersexuality and psychopathy. Intuition and hypervigilance are examples of anxiety, which feed on bodily inputs and involve catastrophizing. Hypervigilance is a symptom of PTSD and other forms of anxiety disorders, and when intuition and gut feeling become the foundation for decision-making, they always lead to hypervigilance.
Borderline’s Partner: Enters Healthy, Exits Mentally Ill
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the impact of individuals with borderline personality disorder on their partners, suggesting that they can induce narcissistic behaviors in them. He also addresses misconceptions about Freud’s theories and delves into the psychological dynamics at play in relationships with individuals with borderline personality disorder. The borderline’s need for object constancy and the partner’s response to it are explored, leading to the development of narcissistic and borderline behaviors in the partner. The complex and challenging dynamics of these relationships are thoroughly analyzed.
Why Self-less Narcissist Can Never Love YOU (His Enemy)
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the concepts of object constancy and introject constancy, drawing from Freud’s theories and his own work on narcissism. He explains how introject constancy differs from object constancy and how it relates to narcissistic personality disorder. Vaknin also introduces the idea of introject libido and its role in the narcissist’s internal world. He emphasizes the importance of emotional investment in internal objects and the impact on the narcissist’s relationships.