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In this transcript, Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the two keys to success: stupidity and mental health pathologies. He argues that in a civilization comprised of stupid and mentally unwell people, being an intellectual is a negative adaptation. Stupid people are more attuned to the needs of a civilization comprised mostly of brain-addled or mentally unwell consumers. Successful entrepreneurs often exhibit a lack of regard for risks and impaired reality testing, which are considered mental health pathologies. These pathologies are positive adaptations in an increasingly narcissistic and psychopathic world, where they bring to the top the scum and generate elites of flotsam and jetsam.
Narcissistic Abuse: Not Your Fault, Nothing You Can Do (Wellness Insider)
Narcissists have alloplastic defenses, blaming others for their problems and considering themselves perfect. They may resort to therapy when they hit rock bottom, but they seek to return to their old selves rather than change. Narcissists have an external locus of control, perceiving everything as happening to them and regarding their intimate partners as extensions of themselves. To support victims of narcissistic abuse, loved ones should provide validation and support without perpetuating the victimhood stance.
Narcissist’s Relationship Cycle Decoded and What To Do About It – Part 2 of 3
Narcissists create a space in their mind and invite their partners into it, expecting them to fulfill maternal functions. They use extreme abuse to convert their partner from an idealized image to a persecutory object, allowing them to devalue and discard them. Narcissists use entraining to synchronize their brainwaves with their victim’s brainwaves, taking over their victim’s ego boundary functions. They repeat cycles of abuse and hoovering because they fail to accomplish separation and individuation from their intimate partners.
Narcissist Can’t Feel Lovable, Good, Worthy, Self-rejects
Negative identity in narcissism involves defining oneself in contrast or contradiction to others, either positively or negatively. This can lead to self-rejection, self-loathing, and the creation of a false self to compensate for the perceived inadequacy of the true self. This process is further complicated by the narcissist’s autoplastic and alloplastic defenses, as well as their external and internal locus of control. Ultimately, the narcissist’s pursuit of goals and accomplishments to satisfy their false self serves as a form of self-rejection, as they are constantly reminded of their inadequacy and worthlessness in comparison to the false self.
How To Love the Narcissist AND Keep Him?
In this video, Professor Sam Vaknin discusses two contradictory solutions to the question of how to love and keep a narcissist. The first solution is to emulate the narcissist’s dead mother, which creates a reverse trauma bonding that keeps the narcissist coming back. The second solution is to conform to the snapshot of the narcissist’s ideal partner and never deviate from it. However, Vaknin warns that being in a relationship with a narcissist is a form of self-harm and that the narcissist is an absence, chaos, and unadulterated anguish.
EXPOSED: Why Narcissist Hoovers, Replaces YOU
Narcissists devalue and discard their intimate partners in order to separate and individuate, reenacting early childhood conflicts with their biological mother. However, the narcissist never separates or individuates from the internal object, the idealized snapshot or introject of their partner in their mind. The shared fantasy is a part of the religion of narcissism, which is a missionary religion that involves regression to an infantile phase prior to separation and individuation from the mother figure. The narcissist is a captive of their internal world and cannot separate individually from the representation of their partner inside their mind.
Dystopia: This Horrible Time We Live In
Professor Sam Vaknin argues that modern society is experiencing the worst period in human history due to the breakdown of institutions and the rise of negative trends such as splitting, magical thinking, entitlement, and distrust. He highlights the unprecedented nature of these trends and their impact on relationships, mental health, and societal stability. Vaknin warns that if humanity does not address these issues, it may face dire consequences and suffering.
Narcissistic Abuse Recovery: First Separate, Individuate
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the process of separation individuation, which involves dissociation, objectification, and grandiosity, and is a prime example of healthy narcissism. However, if anything goes wrong in this process, narcissism arises and erupts. Narcissism is a failure of separation individuation owing to a lack of boundaries between the child and their mother. The narcissist aggressively and grandiosely converts their partner into what is called a self-object or an object representation, eliminating their ability to separate from them and regarding them as a symbol, voice, or representation, not as a real person.
How Narcissist Perceives Narcissistic Abuse (with Charles Bowes-Taylor)
Sam Vaknin, a professor of psychology and author of books on narcissism, discusses his work and the development of the field. He suggests that narcissism is a form of religion and that narcissists try to convert non-narcissists to their religion. Narcissistic traits, style, personality, and disorder are distinguished by quantitative differences that become qualitative. The guest describes her experience of being hoovered by her narcissistic ex-partner and how it triggered both good and bad memories. In this conversation, Sam Vaknin discusses the nature of narcissists and their relationships with others.
Why Narcissist Hates Your Unborn Child in Shared Fantasy
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses how narcissists react to pregnancy and childbirth. He explains that the changes in a pregnant woman challenge the narcissist’s control and idealized image of their partner, leading to feelings of abandonment and insecurity. The narcissist may devalue and discard their partner, feeling threatened by the loss of attention and control. The pregnancy disrupts the narcissist’s shared fantasy and triggers a desperate attempt to maintain the grandiose fantasy. Ultimately, the narcissist perceives pregnancy as a threat to their control and attempts to suppress any signs of independence or life in their partner.