Best New Year Resolution: Fake Friend Out!
Fake friends are not your friends, they are your enemies. They enable your dark side, your self-destructiveness, your self-harm. They are envious of you and are always parasitic. Fake friends are covert, have no moral compass, and are feral, savage, antisocial, psychopathic, and narcissistic. The best thing you can do for yourself this coming New Year is to rid yourself of their presence.
How Psychology Stats Lie To You
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the problems with using statistics in psychology, including the fact that many psychologists do not know how to use statistics properly, the vast majority of psychological studies are comprised of a tiny sample, and the issue of normative validation. He also identifies biases that limit a specific set of statistics and the issue of graphical presentation, which can be misleading. Vaknin emphasizes the importance of scrutinizing the validity of the source and questioning the figures presented.
How Narcissist Sees YOU
In this transcript, Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the narcissist’s point of view and how they perceive their significant other. The narcissist takes a snapshot of their partner and idealizes them, but as reality sets in, they begin to change the way they see their partner. The narcissist sees themselves as a victim and their partner as an abuser, constantly blaming them for things and accusing them of being manipulative. The narcissist also accuses their partner of being self-destructive and lacking self-awareness, and may plot revenge if they feel humiliated or shamed.
Engulfment Anxiety Tips Bad Vs. Good Voices In Borderlines, Codependents, People Pleasers
Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is commonly associated with abandonment anxiety, but there is another type of anxiety that is less reported in literature, which is engulfment or enmeshment anxiety. This anxiety is triggered when a Borderline gets too intimate with someone, and it creates a feeling of being controlled from the outside, leading to a fear of being assimilated or digested. This anxiety is caused by the Borderline’s bad object, which is a collection of internal voices that inform them of their unworthiness and inadequacy. To cope with this anxiety, Borderlines should establish a people-free time and zone, introduce structure into their lives, and stop being emotionally invested in the past or future.
Why Cerebral Narcissist Becomes Somatic ( Aging, Death)
Cerebral narcissists are individuals who redirect their entire libido and eros into intellectual pursuits, using their mind, intellect, and intelligence to secure favorable outcomes from the environment. This is due to sublimation, which involves converting drives, urges, and instincts into socially acceptable activities that consume the energy that should have gone to these drives, urges, and instincts. However, cerebral narcissists can transition to become somatic sex addicts following something known as narcissistic collapse, when they can no longer obtain supply in the classical traditional habituated ways. This transformation is very destabilizing for the narcissist, and they become very mournful, grieving, and furious, sometimes even suicidal.
Is Physics the New Mysticism? (with Benny Hendel)
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the concept of multiverse in physics and how it differs from the multiverse in the Matrix. He explains that the Copenhagen interpretation of quantum mechanics suggests that the observer determines the universe, while the many worlds interpretation suggests that the universe simply splits into many universes. Vaknin proposes a theory that reconciles these two interpretations by considering the universe as a filter that presents only the collapsed states and keeps out the noise. This theory suggests that the observer creates the filter, but not the universe itself, and that the universe dictates certain outcomes to the observer.
Muddle Intimacy, Emotions, Attachment Style, Sex
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the confusion between intimacy, emotions, sex, and attachment. He argues that intimacy is not necessarily connected to emotions and that emotions, such as love, require intimacy. Attachment styles should match for relationships to work, and mate selection should be informed by attachment style. However, attachment style is not an integral part of mate selection. Flat attachment style is a type of attachment style where people are incapable of bonding or relatedness to others. Confusing these concepts has led to blurring lines and wrong conclusions in the field of gender studies and sexology.
Why NPD and BPD are Perfect Match?
Narcissism and borderline personality disorder are a perfect match, despite the fact that the narcissist tends to devalue and discard their partner while the borderline has abandonment anxiety. The borderline needs a partner who will idealize them and reduce their abandonment anxiety, but then discard them when they feel suffocated. The only intimate partner who provides both functions reliably is the narcissist.
Sexual Identity Is Not Sexual Orientation
Sexual identity is different from sexual orientation. Sexual identity is how one perceives oneself sexually, while sexual orientation is about others and involves object relations. Sexual identity is formed in five stages: introjection, emulation, empathy, exploration, and sublimation. A disruption in any of these stages can lead to psychological problems and dysfunctions. Narcissists and borderlines are a perfect match because the borderline needs a partner who would at first idealize her and then discard her, and the narcissist needs to hoover and re-idealize their discarded partners.
Chance And Generational Trauma Pandemic Settles Nature Vs. Nature Debate
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses two new factors that influence who we become: chance or randomness and generational trauma. Recent research suggests that random molecular fluctuations in developing brain cells, especially in the womb, can influence the brain’s wiring and have lifelong consequences. Additionally, generational trauma, such as the COVID-19 pandemic, can have a significant impact on mental health and personality development. These factors are considered more important than the traditional nature versus nurture debate in determining our identities.