Narcissist’s Never-ending Vengeance (Redemption: A True Story)
The text discusses the narcissistic tendencies and destructive behavior of a character, as well as the dynamics of a patriarchal family. It tells the story of the character’s father and grandfather, and their relationships with their family members. The story also touches on themes of honor, duty, and estrangement within the family.
Narcissist and Victim: Daddy or Mommy Issues? (See link in description)
The text discusses the concept of the dual mothership in the Narcissist shared fantasy, where the narcissist and their partner seek maternal figures for unconditional love and acceptance. It explains the roles of mothers and fathers in personal development and the impact of unresolved conflicts with them. It also delves into the concept of “daddy issues” and how they manifest in seeking care, protection, and validation from older figures. The text emphasizes the distinction between issues related to the mother and the father, and how they can affect relationships and behavior.
Threesomes: Why Narcissist Encourages Partner’s Infidelity
Narcissists may encourage their partners to be unfaithful, but this is not due to masochism or sadism. Instead, it serves as a betrayal fantasy, loyalty test, dare, validation of the narcissist’s negative view of the other sex, and a way for the narcissist to reassert control. The victim’s behavior is not coerced, but rather a reaction to the toxic environment created by the narcissist. This leads to atypical behaviors and a sense of alienation for the victim.
Victim, Narcissist: Reality or Role-playing? (Role Theory)
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses role theory and its application to the dynamics of the shared fantasy in narcissistic relationships. He delves into the impact of role expectations, role confusion, and role diffusion on the victim’s identity and behavior within the shared fantasy. The discussion also touches on the Pygmalion Effect, behavioral confirmation, and exemplar theory in the context of narcissistic abuse.
Self-hoovering, Narcissism: Trauma or Role Play?
Narcissists devalue and discard their intimate partners, but in long-term relationships, the partner may engage in self-hovering, refusing to leave despite being discarded. This self-hovering is a trauma-bonding response, allowing the partner to remain in the relationship. The narcissist’s voice in the victim’s mind re-idealizes her, leading to a continued relationship with the internal representation of the narcissist. Narcissism is both a post-traumatic condition and a choice-based role play, with the narcissist unable to modify most of his traits but able to control his behaviors and the roles he plays in different social settings.
Negative Hoovering, Narcissistic Probing: YOU, the Enemy (Persecutory Object)
The process of devaluation and discard exposes the fragile, vulnerable underbelly of the narcissist. The collapse of the shared fantasy leads to a period of decompensation, where the narcissist becomes more vulnerable and passive-aggressive. Narcissistic probing involves hesitant tests and attempts to gather information to ensure the success of hoovering and avoid rejection. The narcissist may oscillate between attempting to re-idealize the target and treating them as an enemy, and may use various methods, including grooming and log bombing, to test and manipulate the target’s behavior. It is important for the target to maintain firm boundaries and not engage in aggressive behavior when responding to the narcissist’s attempts at communication.
Narcissist: You Should Read My Mind!
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the narcissist’s belief that others should be able to read their mind. He explains that narcissists expect mind reading due to their view of others as maternal figures and their desire for symbiosis. He delves into the narcissist’s internal world, including their need for extensionality and intentionality of external objects. Vaknin also explores the impact of failing to read the narcissist’s mind on their perception of external objects and their own existence. He emphasizes the deep-rooted nature of narcissistic behaviors and the challenges in understanding and working with narcissists.
Narcissist’s 10 Body Postures, Psychopath’s Physique
The text discusses the body language and body image of narcissists and psychopaths. It delves into the complex relationship these individuals have with their bodies, including how they use body language to manipulate and control others. The text also touches on the treatability of body dysmorphic and somatoform disorders through therapy.
Narcissist Needs You to Fail Him, Let Go (with Azam Ali)
In this conversation, Sam Vaknin discusses the concept of narcissistic abuse and the dynamics of narcissistic relationships. He explains the narcissist’s need for existence and the victim’s hunger for love and intimacy, highlighting the irreconcilable nature of these two needs. He also emphasizes the importance of insight and empathy in understanding oneself and others.
Why Narcissist Hates Good Partners Sado Maso Love (plus Mood Disorders)
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the narcissist’s interpretation of love, which is rooted in sadistic and masochistic impulses. He also clarifies the difference between mood disorders and cognitive distortions, and the role of the shared fantasy in the narcissist’s relationships. The narcissist’s love revolves around pain, its infliction, management, and gratification, as well as the ability to regulate and modulate it. The narcissist’s behavior is driven by early childhood conditioning and a deep-seated belief that love is associated with negative emotions and pain.