Narcissist’s Cognitive Deficits
Narcissists lack empathy and are unable to relate to others, instead withdrawing into a universe populated by avatars. They are incapable of holding an external dialogue and all their dialogues are completely internal. The narcissist attributes their failures and mistakes to circumstances and external causes, while regarding their successes and achievements as proofs of their own omnipotence and omniscience. The narcissist pays a dear price for these distortions of perception, developing paranoid ideation and fading the reality test.
Can Narcissist Truly Love?
Narcissists are incapable of true love, but they do experience some emotion which they insist is love. Narcissists love their significant others as long as they continue to provide them with attention, or narcissistic supply. There are two types of narcissistic love: one type loves others as one would get attached to objects, while the other type abhors monotony and constancy, seeking instability, chaos, upheaval, drama, and change. In the narcissist’s world, mature love is nowhere to be seen, and their so-called love is fear of losing control and hatred of the very people on whom their personality depends.
Stalked? Restraining Orders, Peace Bonds, Courts
Professor Sam Vaknin advises victims of abuse to involve the courts whenever possible. In many countries, the first step is to obtain a restraining order from a civil court, as part of divorce or custody proceedings, or as a stand-alone measure. The difference between a protection order and a restraining order is that the protection order is obtained following an incident of domestic violence involving injury or damage to property. The wording of the restraining order is crucial, and it is important to seek a new restraining order if you have moved.
Stalked? Call Police and Law Enforcement!
The rule of thumb for dealing with an abusive partner is to involve the police and law enforcement authorities whenever possible. Physical assault, rape, stalking, marital rape, and cruelty to animals are all criminal offenses that should be reported to the police. Financial abuse is also a criminal offense, and the police must respond to complaints. The police officer on the scene must inform the victim of their legal options and rights, and the officer in charge must furnish them with a list of domestic violence shelters and other forms of help available in their community.
Stalked: Your Getaway – Planning and Executing It
Victims of abuse should prepare thoroughly before leaving their abuser, especially if the partner is violent and paranoid. The province of Alberta in Canada recommends copying all important documents and storing them in a safe place, making a safety plan, and taking essential items such as prescribed medication, personal hygiene products, and money. If fleeing with children, bring their various medications, favorite toy or blanket, and clothing. It is also important to secure transportation, agree on codes and signals with friends and family, and avoid confrontation over the departure.
Narcissist’s Objects and Possessions
Narcissists have a complex relationship with objects and possessions, with some being accumulators who jealously guard their belongings and others being discarders who give away their possessions to sustain their sense of control. Objects provide emotional decor and elicit narcissistic supply, and the narcissist often compares people to the inanimate. Narcissists collect proofs and trophies of their sexual prowess, dramatic talent, past wealth, or intellectual achievements, and these objects operate through the mechanism of narcissistic branding. The narcissist is a pathogen who transforms his human and non-human environment alike, objectifying people and anthropomorphizing objects to optimize or maximize narcissistic supply.
Narcissist Loves his Disorder and Narcissistic Personality
Narcissists may modify their behavior to become more socially acceptable, but they never heal or get better because they have an emotional investment in their disorder. Narcissistic personality disorder serves two critical functions: it endows the narcissist with a sense of uniqueness and provides an alibi for their misconduct. Narcissists reject the notion that they are mentally ill or disturbed, and their disorder becomes an integral and inseparable part of their inflated self-esteem and grandiose fantasies. The narcissist is emotionally attached to their narcissistic personality disorder and loves their disorder passionately.
Narcissists: Homosexual and Transsexual
Research has found no significant difference between the psychological makeup of a narcissist with homosexual preferences and a heterosexual narcissist. However, the self-definition of homosexuals is often based on their sexual identity, which can lead to somatic narcissism. Homosexual relations are highly narcissistic and autoerotic affairs, with the somatic narcissist directing their libido at their own body. Transsexuals may also exhibit narcissistic tendencies, with some seeking sex reassignment due to an idealized overvaluation of themselves and a sense of entitlement.
Narcissist’s Family
Narcissists perceive new family members, including siblings, children, and even pets, as threats to their narcissistic supply. They may belittle, hurt, or humiliate them, or retreat into an imaginary world of omnipotence. Some narcissists seek to manipulate new family members to monopolize attention and vicariously obtain narcissistic supply. As siblings or offspring grow older and become critical, the narcissist devalues and discards them, feeling stifled and trapped. The family disintegrates, and the cycle begins anew with the arrival of new family members.
Narcissism: Not Self-love!
The narcissist lacks the ability to distinguish between reality and fantasy and empathize with others, as they have a false self that devours their true self. They love the image they project onto others and expect others to reflect this image. The narcissist’s feeling of entitlement is not grounded in reality and can easily lead to aggression. The narcissist lacks self-knowledge and lives in an invented world of their own design, making it difficult for them to connect with others and experience mature love.