Why We Hate to Work (Narcissism Epidemic)
In the past, people took pride in their work and identified with their professions, but today, work is often seen as a necessary evil to be avoided. The rise of narcissism, globalization, and the decline of education and social cohesion have contributed to this shift in attitude. Additionally, the disintegration of the educational system, the rise of irrational beliefs, and the focus on short-term profits over long-term customer loyalty have further eroded the work ethic. The pandemic is likely to accelerate these trends, leading to an even greater disconnect between consumers and producers.
YOU: Dead Inside or Self-sufficient?
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses how self-sufficiency is often mistaken for pathological behaviors and traits. He explains that true self-sufficiency is self-sustaining, involves firm personal boundaries, and a stable sense of self-worth. However, people often confuse self-sufficiency with behaviors exhibited by narcissists, psychopaths, and individuals with borderline personality disorder, who are actually dependent on others and exhibit counter-dependency. Vaknin emphasizes that these individuals are not self-sufficient, but rather empty and devoid of a true sense of self.
How We Ended Up in This Mess (Documentary Excerpt)
The Enlightenment project has failed due to the metastasis of its core values, leading to malignant individualism, malignant egalitarianism, malignant tolerance, and malignant reasoning. Malignant individualism has resulted in the breakdown of institutions and increased alienation, while malignant egalitarianism has led to destructive envy and the rise of narcissism. Malignant tolerance has given way to moral relativism, political correctness, and the erosion of academic rigor. Lastly, malignant reasoning has prioritized ideas and concepts over people, leading to the rise of pseudosciences and the confusion between technology, science, and civilization.
Why Do You Stay, Narcissist Cheats, Both Triangulate?
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the reasons why people stay in relationships and why they cheat. He explains that people stay in relationships due to financial security, guilt, pity, shared memories, and societal pressures. Additionally, he delves into the reasons why narcissists cheat, attributing it to seeking narcissistic supply, frustration, and boredom, defiance, and pathological demand avoidance. He also discusses the concept of triangulation and its impact on relationships.
Being is Slavery, Nothingness is Freedom (Sartre’s “Being and Nothingness”, FIRST LECTURE)
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the concept of nothingness and its relationship with consciousness, self, and freedom. He explores Jean-Paul Sartre’s ideas on nothingness and how it is a capacity of our consciousness that has evolutionary advantages. Vaknin also delves into the concept of bad faith and self-deception, which is the easy way out of dealing with conflicts and dissonances. He argues that bad faith is a choice and a decision made out of freedom and nothingness. Finally, he discusses Sartre’s rejection of Freud’s theory of self-deceit and repression and how individuals are 100% responsible for their actions.
YOUR LOVE, Intimacy FEARED: Narcissist’s Perfectionism, Envy
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the narcissist’s hatred towards others and how it is linked to perfectionism. The narcissist’s fear of failure drives them to be perfect, and they believe they are infallible. The narcissist idealizes only internal objects and internalizes external objects to eliminate competition. In this section, Professor Sam Vaknin explains that the narcissist believes they are the only good object in the world and that they have internalized this object. Therefore, they do not need to envy anyone else. The narcissist becomes immune to envy and talks to their envy, telling it not to direct itself at them because they are the good object.
Covert Borderline Predicted: Standard Model of Personality Disorders (McGill University)
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the differences between the classic and covert borderline personality disorders. The covert borderline internalizes their struggles, while the classic externalizes them. The covert is sadistic, punitive, goal-oriented, and may engage in triangulation, while the classic engages in triangulation to restore relationships or please people. The covert is preoccupied with appearances, while the classic is preoccupied with boredom and has an aesthetic taste. The covert borderline may be an activist and has apparent enthusiasm for socio-political affairs, while the classic couldn’t care less and is a pathological liar.
Victim: Don’t Become Your Abuser!
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the dangers of embracing victimhood after experiencing narcissistic abuse. He explains that there are three categories of victims: those affected by the narcissist’s instability, those misled by the narcissist’s emotional signals, and those intentionally targeted by the narcissist. Vaknin warns that adopting a perpetual victim mentality can lead to narcissistic behaviors, splitting the world into good and evil, and becoming emotionally dependent on the victim identity. He urges individuals to reflect on their own contributions to their situations and avoid falling into the trap of perpetual victimhood.
Destroy the Narcissist in Court: Divorce, Custody, and Aftermath
In summary, to effectively handle a narcissist in court during divorce and custody proceedings, it is crucial to remain calm, composed, and fact-based. Focus on exposing the narcissist’s grandiosity and vulnerabilities by challenging their self-perception and accomplishments, while avoiding appearing vengeful or malicious. Provoke the narcissist indirectly by hinting at their shortcomings and mediocrity, ultimately leading them to lose control and expose their true nature. Maintain a holistic strategy that takes into account both the legal aspects and the narcissist’s off-court life.
Narcissist Invades, Replaces Your Comfort Zone, Boundaries (Lecture SF University)
Professor Sam Vaknin addresses students at Southern Federal University, Rostov-on-Don, Russian Federation, discussing the impact of the pandemic on education and the shift to online lectures. He then delves into the topic of therapy, focusing on comfort zones, personal boundaries, and the evolving role of therapists in today’s society. Vaknin emphasizes the challenges therapists face in a society characterized by loneliness, narcissism, and malpractice. He also explores the concept of shared fantasy and its impact on individuals in dysfunctional relationships. Vaknin concludes by discussing the prevalence of narcissism and psychopathy in modern society and the implications for psychotherapists.