Parental Alienation is Lifelong (Andy Martens Show EXCERPT)
Narcissists and psychopaths are attracted to anyone who can provide them with attention and supply, regardless of their background or personality. Alienated children often grow up with emotional damage and may repeat dysfunctional patterns in their own relationships. Narcissists and psychopaths can change if they hit rock bottom and choose to redirect their negative energy into positive actions. They do not make distinctions between family and non-family members, treating everyone with contempt and manipulation.
End Times or Transitional Period?
Professor Sam Vaknin argues that we are not in a period of transition, but rather in a period of breakdown, meltdown, and disintegration of civilization. He provides five differential criteria to distinguish between transition and disintegration, including the emergence of new ideas and institutions, continuity amidst discontinuity, and the presence of empowering technologies. Vaknin also notes that gender roles shift and often become inverted during periods of disintegration, and that civilisations decline when multiple natural and man-made calamities coalesce and strike in tandem. He concludes that we are coping with multiple catastrophes on a global scale, and none of our institutions are held, leaving us alone, adrift, and atomized.
Loving My Narcissist HURTS so much!
Loving a narcissist is a painful experience due to their lack of empathy, idealization followed by devaluation, and inability to truly connect with their partner. The narcissist’s inaccessibility and indifference can be devastating, as they often discard their partners without any emotional reaction. This experience can leave the partner feeling shattered, questioning their own judgment and ability to trust themselves and others. Ultimately, the pain of loving a narcissist comes from grieving the loss of who they used to be and the potential of what could have been in the relationship.
8 Things You are Getting WRONG about Your Narcissist (EXCERPT)
Professor Sam Vaknin debunks eight myths about narcissism, including that narcissists do have emotions, empathy, and dread abandonment. He also explains that grandiosity is about being unique, not necessarily the best, and that some narcissists are pro-social. Vaknin also discusses the problem of misattribution error and how people often misattribute motivations to others. He provides examples of why people may stay in toxic relationships, persevere with old decisions, or opt for lifelong celibacy. Finally, he advises people to try to understand why they are being lied to and create a safe environment for people with cluster B personality disorders to tell the truth.
Root of All Evil: Idea of Progress
Professor Sam Vaknin argues that the idea of progress is the root of all evil, as it has led to dystopian outcomes. He analyzes postmodernity, environmentalism, the Renaissance, and Nazism, showing how they are all interconnected through the idea of progress. Vaknin claims that exclusionary ideas of progress have led to reactionary counter-modernity, such as communism, fascism, Nazism, and religious fundamentalism. He concludes that humanity’s future is at risk due to the belief in progress and the actions taken to achieve it.
Trauma Bonding as Fantasy Defense (World Psychiatrists and Psychologists Conference, November 2021)
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the role of fantasy in personality disorders, particularly in Cluster B disorders. Fantasy serves as a defense mechanism, allowing individuals to function by creating a safe space and a barrier between themselves and reality. This is seen in various forms, such as trauma bonding, identity disturbance, and shared fantasies. Dismantling these lifelong fantasy defenses is extremely difficult, as they provide a sense of safety and legitimacy for the individuals involved.
Avoid 3 Errors in Search of Meaning in Life
In this transcript, Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the human search for meaning and the three mistakes we make when trying to find it. He argues that we should let the path choose us, rather than trying to choose our own path, and that we already have all the answers we need, but lack the ability to identify them. He also suggests that we should focus on asking the right questions, rather than seeking the correct answers, and that relationships and love are the foundation of meaning. Finally, he quotes the Dalai Lama, who suggests that many people sacrifice their health and present happiness for the sake of money and the future, ultimately dying without having truly lived.
Privacy, Opposite of Narcissism
In this video, Professor Sam Vaknin discusses privacy and its relationship with narcissism. He explains that privacy is the opposite of narcissism, as narcissists do not have a private life and overshare everything. The erosion of privacy has massive implications for the rise of narcissism, and the encroachment of the public is inexorable. The successful defense of one’s privacy sustains one’s self-esteem, and the invasion of privacy provokes an upwelling of shame, indignation, and a diminished sense of self-worth. Ultimately, the real coinage of the realm is our mental health.
Lonely World, Schizoid Future (and Sex)
The schizoid core, characterized by a lack of identity and a void, is at the foundation of personality and character pathologies. Society is gravitating towards a schizoid solution, with people preferring solitude and avoiding interactions with others. The schizoid world is becoming more narcissistic, psychopathic, and autoerotic, with sex being the last remaining vestige of human contact. The future will be a society in flux, with ad hoc self-assembling networks and no concept of institutions, intimate relationships, or politics.
Narcissist’s Emotional Involvement Preventive Measures (EIPMs)
In 1997, Professor Sam Vaknin published the first digital book on narcissism, which included a chapter on Emotional Investment Prevention Mechanisms (EIPMs). EIPMs are deceptive ways to avoid emotional involvement, commitment, and intimacy. Narcissists use various EIPMs in their personality, conduct, instincts, drives, object relations, functioning, and performance to deter others and maintain emotional distance. This results in a negative, detached life for the narcissist, who spends significant energy avoiding attachment and commitment.