Narcissism and Abuse Clarified with therapist Jose Espinosa
In this lecture, Professor Sam Vaknin discusses narcissistic abuse, the etiology of narcissism, and the impact of social media on narcissism. He explains that narcissistic abuse is an attempt by the narcissist to gain control over a specific target and convert them into a source of narcissistic supply within a shared fantasy. He also addresses the question of whether narcissists can suffer from narcissistic abuse and explains that narcissists start off as victims before choosing to become victimizers. Additionally, he discusses the misconceptions of narcissism and the influence of social media on narcissistic behaviors. Finally, he explains the differences between narcissistic personality disorder and narcissistic personality style and discusses the potential for change in narcissistic behaviors as individuals age.
Darkest Side of Narcissistic Abuse: Is It Intentional? (with Claire Auden)
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the nature of narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), its prevalence in the population, and the distinction between NPD and narcissistic traits. He explains that narcissism is underdiagnosed, especially among certain demographics like women, who now represent half of those diagnosed with NPD. Vaknin also touches on the increase in narcissistic and psychopathic behaviors in society, the role of therapy in treating narcissists, and the challenges in changing the core behaviors of individuals with NPD. He emphasizes that narcissists have a childlike mentality and that their relationships follow a cycle of idealization and devaluation, ultimately leading to discard. Vaknin suggests that narcissistic abuse is unique in its totalizing effect on victims and is driven by the narcissist’s need to reenact early childhood conflicts. He concludes that while behavioral modifications are possible in therapy, core changes in narcissists are not.
Dostoyevsky’s Beef With Psychology Path Towards Its Renaissance ( Congress Presentation)
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses Fyodor Dostoyevsky’s quarrel with psychology and how it contrasts with modern psychology. Dostoyevsky’s work delves into the human soul and the individual’s reaction to society, contrasting with the statistical and pseudo-scientific approach of modern psychology. Dostoyevsky’s characters struggle with morality, suffering, and the conflict between the pursuit of truth and the rejection of life. His use of symbolism and exploration of the self reflect his own inner conflicts and his commitment to truth. His characters’ inner fixity and rejection of life lead to a spiritual death, and his work serves as a critique of narcissism and the pursuit of perfection.
Narcissist’s Losses Are His Life
Loss is a crucial aspect of the narcissist’s life, serving as an organizing principle and a means of transformation. The narcissist’s self-destructive behavior and manipulation of external objects are driven by the need to induce change in their internal environment. Losses are both intentional and evoked by the narcissist, who uses them to engender victimhood and manipulate others. The narcissist’s fear of losses leads them to preemptively bring them on, ultimately sacrificing reality for the appearance of life.
When Narcissist Runs Out of Supply (Self-supply Compilation)
Narcissists exhibit a sense of sacrificial entitlement, believing that their presence in someone’s life is a privilege and a sacrifice on their part. This self-perception combines grandiosity with victimhood, as they see themselves as superior beings who are condescending to interact with others. This form of entitlement is a method of self-supply, reinforcing their grandiose self-image while also framing themselves as victims who are giving up their potential for the sake of others. Narcissists may use this mindset to justify expecting gratitude, obedience, and submission from those around them.
UP TO YOU How People Treat You: Change Your Messaging, Signaling
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the behavior of narcissists and psychopaths, emphasizing their inability to internalize moral reasoning and their lack of capacity for love. He explains that people’s treatment of us is influenced by the information we transmit about ourselves and encourages us to cultivate dignity and self-respect. Vaknin advises against seeking validation by altering ourselves and instead advocates for authenticity and self-assertion as a means to change how others treat us. He concludes by emphasizing that we have the power to transform our lives by changing the way we present ourselves to the world.
BEWARE! Narcissists, Psychopaths are Immoral, Amoral (Kohlberg’s Stages of Moral Development)
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the moral development stages proposed by Lawrence Kohlberg, which include pre-conventional, conventional, and post-conventional levels. He also delves into the work of other scholars such as William Damon, who proposed a theory based on Kohlberg’s stages. Vaknin emphasizes that narcissists and psychopaths are incapable of moral development due to their lack of empathy, emotional deficits, and impaired reality testing. He also critiques Kohlberg’s theory, highlighting the absence of emotions in moral reasoning and the rigid cognitive approach. Vaknin suggests that the inability of narcissists and psychopaths to progress through moral development stages has significant implications for society. He also discusses the work of other scholars who have critiqued and expanded upon Kohlberg’s theory.
Why We LOVE WAR: Pornography of Violence (with Scott Jacobsen)
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the nature of war, its impact on human psychology, and its role in society. He explores the effects of war at a distance and up close, the psychology of bystanders versus combatants, and the mindset of politicians and the general public before, during, and after war. Vaknin also delves into the factors that increase or decrease the odds of war, as well as the positives and negatives of war in the advancement of human civilization. He concludes that war is a human phenomenon that should be accepted and adapted to, rather than futilely attempting to eliminate it.
Narcissism: Unclean Energy (with Michael Shellenberger, November 2022)
Sam Vaknin discusses the evolution of narcissism from a healthy childhood phase to pathological narcissism in adulthood, which becomes a clinical entity when it remains infantile and extreme. He explains that narcissism has become an organizing principle in society, influencing various social institutions and movements. Vaknin suggests that narcissism and psychopathy are on a spectrum, with malignant narcissism and psychopathy often overlapping. He argues that modern civilization’s incentive structure rewards narcissistic and psychopathic traits, leading to their prevalence in certain professions and social movements. Vaknin proposes that instead of fighting narcissism, society should rechannel it towards socially beneficial goals by providing narcissistic supply as a reward for positive actions. He believes that this approach could lead to a redefinition of civilization, as narcissism is an inescapable part of current social fabric and technology.
Schizoid Personality and Schizoid Narcissism Bible (Compilation)
The schizoid personality is characterized by a preference for solitude, a lack of interest in social relationships, and a limited range of emotions. Schizoids are often perceived as aloof, indifferent, and uninterested in both sexual and social interactions. They are typically self-contained and may be seen as emotionally cold or flat. While some individuals may choose a schizoid lifestyle as a rational response to modern society’s demands, for others, it may be a manifestation of a pathological condition. The schizoid personality should not be confused with narcissism, although both may share certain features, such as disrupted object relations. However, the schizoid recognizes the externality of objects but has difficulty emotionally investing in them, while the narcissist does not perceive objects as external and instead forms relationships with internal objects. Schizoid behavior can be reactive and is sometimes misdiagnosed as narcissism. The schizoid’s detachment can be misconstrued as a cry for help or a sign of helplessness, and their self-sufficiency can be misinterpreted as strength. Relationships with schizoids can be challenging due to their asexuality and emotional detachment.