Why Narcissist Desires YOU, Why YOU Fall for It (Conation, Doxastic Voluntarism, Base Rate Fallacy)
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the psychological mechanism of conation and its role in the narcissist’s unwavering conviction in the shared fantasy. Conation is the driving force behind the narcissist’s belief in the shared fantasy and the idealized version of their partner. The lecture delves into the base rate fallacy, implicit bias, and the influence of conation on the narcissist’s behavior. It also explores the connection between conation and the narcissist’s pursuit of the shared fantasy, as well as the impact of doxastic attitudes and doxastic voluntarism on the dynamics of the shared fantasy.
Why Do We Keep Fighting Wars (Compilation)
Sam Vaknin discusses the psychology of war, emphasizing that war brings out both the best and worst in humanity, often seen as the epitome of masculinity. War leads to negative identity formation, where each side dehumanizes the other, casting the conflict as a morality play. War is also seen as a game, with veterans from opposing sides often friendly post-conflict, suggesting a role-playing element. Winning a war is seen as validation and proof of divine blessing. War mediates the tension between individual and collective through the concept of self-sacrifice. Vaknin also touches on the psychological effects of witnessing war from a distance, which can lead to a sense of vicarious gratification and virtue signaling, as well as the intense trauma experienced by those in close proximity to war. He notes that politicians view war as an inevitable tool, while the general populace often finds war entertaining despite underlying anxiety. Human psychology predisposes us to aggression, and war caters to deep psychological needs, leading to innovation and new social orders. Repeated exposure to violence can result in desensitization, dehumanization, and a post-traumatic state. Vaknin concludes that war, like climate change, is an inherent human phenomenon that we should accept and adapt to rather than futilely attempt to eliminate.
“I Miss ME!”: Self-estrangement in Narcissistically Abusive Relationships
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the concept of self-estrangement and self-alienation in the context of narcissistic abuse. He explains how the narcissist manipulates the victim’s mind, leading to a feeling of being unrecognizable to oneself. The victim’s internal voice becomes dominated by the narcissist’s introject, leading to a sense of emptiness and dissociation from one’s true self. This process involves a complex interplay of defense mechanisms, emotional dysregulation, and the impact of early attachment trauma. The victim’s symptoms are seen as a compromise formation and a resistance to change, requiring a focus on emotional closeness, experiencing, and anxiety regulation in treatment.
Pathological Narcissism: Does It Exist? (with Kelly Brogan, MD)
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the concept of narcissism, distinguishing between the clinical entity and its role as an explanatory principle in modern society. He emphasizes that narcissism is a defense mechanism resulting from early childhood experiences, particularly with the mother, and that it is a lifelong automatic process. Vaknin explains that narcissists lack a functional self and are unable to perceive others as separate, leading to a disruption in forming a functioning self. He also addresses the different trajectories of narcissism based on childhood experiences and the fluidity of narcissistic behaviors. Additionally, he delves into the relational consequences of narcissism, particularly in romantic relationships, and the subconscious intention of individuals with narcissistic patterns.
So, What Is Narcissistic Abuse, After All? (with Kelly Brogan, MD)
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the concept of the shared fantasy in narcissistic relationships, where the narcissist seeks to separate and become an individual by luring an intimate partner into a fantasy. He explains that the shared fantasy is about separation, not merging, and that the narcissist seeks to convert the partner into a maternal figure. Vaknin, who has been diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder, emphasizes the need for professional help in overcoming the aftermath of such relationships and highlights the profound grief and disorientation experienced by victims. He also provides red flags for identifying narcissistic patterns in relationships and offers his YouTube channel as a resource for further information and support.
Inside Mind of Murderous Narcissist (with Isla Traquair)
In this lecture, Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the mind of a sexually sadistic killer, explaining that killing is the ultimate intimacy for this type of murderer. He describes the killer’s experience during the act of killing, the aftermath, and the psychological dynamics involved. He also delves into the different types of killers, such as psychopaths, narcissists, and impulse killers, and how their behaviors and motivations differ. Additionally, he touches on the concept of victimhood and its role in contemporary society.
Is It YOUR Fantasy – or Theirs (Narcissists, Psychopaths, Borderlines)?
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the concept of the shared fantasy in relationships, particularly in the context of narcissism and psychopathy. He explains that while the psychopath customizes the fantasy to fit the partner, the narcissist coerces the partner to fit the fantasy. Vaknin emphasizes the differences in motivations, goals, and outcomes between the psychopath’s, narcissist’s, and borderline’s fantasies, highlighting the manipulative and exploitative nature of these dynamics. He also delves into the psychological underpinnings of these behaviors, linking them to a quest for unconditional love and entitlement.
Grandiosity, Idea Of Reference, Other, Apophenia, Pareidolia, Hostile Attribution, Confirmation Bias
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses grandiosity and its deconstruction. Grandiosity involves cognitive distortions, unconscious and conscious operations, and multiple biases and psychological processes. It includes ideas of reference, object apophenia, and social pareidolia. Grandiosity is a core element of pathological narcissism and involves a failure to perceive others as separate from oneself. The lecture also delves into the connection between grandiosity and delusions of reference, as well as the impact of hostile attribution bias and the development of delusions in narcissistic modification.
90 Seconds, 15 Aspects of Narcissism, Narcissistic Abuse (Shadowdeangelis)
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the concept of triangulation and narcissistic snapshotting in relationships. Triangulation is used by narcissists to weaken and control their victims by involving third parties and creating insecurity. Narcissistic snapshotting refers to the narcissist’s idealized and unchanging perception of their victim, leading to anxiety and discomfort when the victim deviates from this idealized image. The lecture also covers the dual mothership model, the impact of narcissistic abuse, and the importance of healing and understanding the narcissist’s mindset. Additionally, it addresses common misconceptions about narcissists, the role of anger and rage in narcissistic abuse, and the concept of confabulation in the narcissist’s delusional mindset.
Can Addiction Be Helped? (Mexico City Lecture)
Professor Sam Vaknin introduces a new view of addiction, presenting five metaphors or narratives to understand addiction. He explains that addiction is a natural state of the brain and that the brain is an addiction machine. He argues that addiction is a positive adaptation as far as evolution is concerned. He suggests that addiction should be managed rather than eradicated and that healthy addictions should be encouraged as a way to substitute bad addictions. He emphasizes the need for a more realistic and humble approach to treating addiction.