Unforgiving Narcissist Hoovers to Revenge, Holds Grudges
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the concept of hoovering and how it can be driven by a narcissist’s grudge against the victim. He explains the differences between rail hoovering and vengeful hoovering, and provides warning signs to identify the latter. The lecture delves into the reasons why narcissists find it nearly impossible to forgive, forget, and move on, and how holding grudges serves to reconstitute their grandiosity. Additionally, the lecture explores the role of grudges as a relationship management tool and the psychodynamic reasons behind a narcissist’s tendency to maintain grudges.
Skin-deep Narcissist, Skinless Borderline
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the use of metaphors to understand narcissism and psychopathy, comparing them to natural phenomena. He introduces the metaphor of the skin, likening the narcissist’s false self to the skin’s protective functions and characteristics. He emphasizes the false self’s role in shielding the narcissist from reality and facilitating the conversion of reality into fantasy. Additionally, he explores the false self’s hypervigilance and its impact on the narcissist’s perception of the world.
Get Your Defenses Right! (Projection, Rationalization, Splitting)
Professor Vaknin discusses the misuse of psychological terms such as projection, rationalization, and splitting by self-styled experts online. He explains that projection involves attributing one’s negative traits to others, while rationalization is a defense mechanism used to justify socially unacceptable behaviors. Additionally, he delves into the concept of splitting, emphasizing its role in mental health and its connection to narcissism and borderline personality disorder. Vaknin highlights the confusion and misinformation surrounding these concepts and stresses the importance of accurate understanding and education in the field of psychology.
Narcissism is NOT High Self-esteem, Self-worth, Self-confidence (Role of Attribution Error)
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the differences between self-confidence, high self-esteem, and narcissism in this lecture. He explains that healthy self-esteem involves self-acceptance and self-love, while narcissism is compensatory and volatile. He delves into the concept of attribution errors and how they relate to narcissism, as well as the cultural and societal influences on self-esteem. Vaknin emphasizes the importance of stability and self-regulation in healthy self-worth, self-esteem, and self-confidence, contrasting them with the external and unstable nature of narcissism.
Mama’s Boy or Daddy’s Girl? (Compilation)
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses how various types of dysfunctional fathers can impact the development and expression of pathological narcissism in their children. He explains that while the formation of pathological narcissism occurs in the first 36 months of life and is primarily influenced by the mother or maternal figure, the father’s role becomes significant later on, shaping how the child’s narcissism manifests. Vaknin categorizes fathers who exacerbate narcissism in their children into several types, including the dead father, the shameful father, the intermittent father, the antisocial entitled father, the fantasy-prone father, the harsh and critical father, the unjust and sadistic father, the dysregulated father, the incestuous father, the parentifying father, the instrumentalizing father, the pedestalizing father, and the submissive, codependent father. Each type contributes to the child’s narcissistic pathology in different ways, often leading to a variety of narcissistic outcomes in adulthood.
Narcissist Devalues, Discards What He Craves Most: Shared Fantasy as Reaction Formation
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the concept of the narcissist shared fantasy as a form of reaction formation. He explains that reaction formation is a defense mechanism in which unacceptable impulses are replaced with their exact opposite in consciousness. This mechanism is developed in childhood as a result of conditional love and the need to suppress one’s desires and individuality to gain acceptance. Vaknin also explores the connection between reaction formation, socialization, and the fragility of morality, and how it can unravel under stress, leading to acts of cruelty and abuse.
Narcissism Virus: Genes, Deception, Brain, Mind (Compilation)
Narcissists and psychopaths are facing increasing difficulties in finding victims due to heightened awareness and stigmatization of their behaviors. As victim awareness grows and behaviors associated with narcissistic abuse become criminalized, the pool of potential targets shrinks. This leads to a situation where predators may team up to hunt collectively, as predicted by game theory models like the Hawk-Dove model and the Lotka-Volterra predator-prey model. These models suggest that as the number of predators increases and the number of prey decreases, the predator population will eventually decline. This raises questions about the role of predators like narcissists and psychopaths in society and whether their decline could lead to trophic cascades, which are powerful indirect interactions that can control entire ecosystems. The future impact of increased awareness, stigmatization, and criminalization on the survival and behaviors of narcissists and psychopaths remains an open question.
Narcissist’s Father: Daddy Issues Typology
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the impact of fathers on the development and manifestation of pathological narcissism in children. He explains that while the mother’s role is critical in the early stages of a child’s life, the father’s influence comes later and can affect how the child’s narcissism is expressed in adulthood. Vaknin outlines various types of fathers, such as the dead, shameful, intermittent, entitled, and harsh fathers, and explains how each type can contribute to the exacerbation of a child’s narcissism. He emphasizes the importance of the father’s role in redirecting and mitigating the child’s narcissism and highlights the negative impact of mentally disturbed fathers on their children.
Is Homosexuality Natural?
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the recent legalization of same-sex marriage and parenting in Greece, and the biological and environmental factors influencing homosexuality. He explores the presence of homosexuality in the animal kingdom and its potential evolutionary and biological advantages, suggesting that it may be a form of pleasurable sexual play and a mechanism for population dynamics. Vaknin emphasizes the need for greater tolerance and understanding of human sexual diversity, and the importance of studying biology in shaping societal attitudes towards sexuality.
No Emotions, please: Alexithymia and Anankastia (Rigid Perfectionism)
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the concept of Alexithymia, a condition characterized by the inability to recognize and express emotions in oneself and others. He proposes a new perspective on Alexithymia, linking it to Anancastia, a trait domain related to rule-based perfectionism. Vaknin suggests that Alexithymia is a form of perfectionism and emotional blindness, and he explores its potential connections to narcissistic personality disorder and other mental health issues. He also delves into the impacts of Alexithymia on relationships and presents various psychological models and theories related to the condition. Vaknin emphasizes the importance of emotions in interpersonal relationships and discusses the potential psychodynamic and cognitive behavioral roots of Alexithymia. He also highlights the connection between Alexithymia and narcissism, suggesting that they share common elements such as anhedonia and a limited ability to experience positive emotions.