Do THIS: 10A Model for a Fulfilled LIFE (by Jonah Nyoni)
In this lecture, Professor Sam Vaknin introduces the 10A model developed by Johna Nioni from Zimbabwe, which focuses on setting life goals, finding meaning, and maximizing self-efficacy and self-actualization. The 10A model includes aligning with one’s purpose, accepting oneself, taking action, positive self-assertion, seeking advice, choosing positive associations, promoting oneself for the benefit of others, being accountable, adapting to change, and accelerating learning and innovation. Vaknin provides commentary on each A, relating it to current knowledge in psychology and emphasizing the importance of these principles for personal growth and success.
3 Spells Against Narcissist’s “Black Magic” Presence, Voice (LISTEN, PRINT, DECLAIM)
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the impact of narcissists on individuals and provides three affirmations to counter their influence. He advises repeating these affirmations daily, posting them in various places, and vocalizing them frequently to displace the narcissist’s voice in one’s mind. The affirmations emphasize that the narcissist’s behavior is not the fault of the individual, but rather a result of the narcissist’s internal dynamics and needs. By consistently practicing these affirmations, individuals can gradually silence the negative influence of the narcissist.
Cold Therapy: Misinformation, Smears Dispelled
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses his new treatment modality called “cold therapy,” which is a talk therapy designed for individuals diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder and major depression. He dispels misconceptions about cold therapy, emphasizing that it does not involve physical abuse or violence and is strictly verbal. He explains that cold therapy aims to re-traumatize the patient in a controlled and tiered manner, leading to the collapse of the narcissist’s defenses and creating a window of opportunity for change. Vaknin outlines 25 proprietary techniques used in cold therapy, including erasure, hypervigilant referencing, grandiosity reframing, and happiness mapping, to reframe situations and events as traumas and foster more adaptive functioning. He also discusses the challenges and risks associated with cold therapy, such as managing transference and countertransference, addressing suicidal tendencies, and fostering persecutory delusions.
Child Thwarted, Narcissist is Born (Zagreb Lecture EXCERPT) (BOOTLEG)
In this lecture, Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the development of pathological narcissism and its underlying psychodynamics. He explains that narcissism is a post-traumatic condition that begins in early childhood when a child’s need to be seen by their primary caregiver is not met, leading to a failure to develop a core identity, ego, and a proper sense of reality. Vaknin describes how narcissists are unable to distinguish between themselves and others, leading to a lack of boundaries and an internal emptiness. He also covers concepts such as narcissistic supply, external regulation, self-supply, narcissistic collapse, and the formation of bad and idealized objects within the narcissist’s psyche. The lecture concludes with a promise to discuss how these dynamics play out in romantic relationships, emphasizing that the mechanisms are the same in all interpersonal relationships for a narcissist.
How Narcissist “Loves” YOU (Zagreb Lecture EXCERPT) (BOOTLEG)
In this lecture, Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the concept of the unconscious and its role in narcissism. He explains that defense mechanisms are automatic but not unconscious, and that the concept of the unconscious is debatable in psychology. He also touches on the history of the unconscious and its role in different psychological theories. The lecture ends with a thank you to the audience and the organizer for their participation.
No Grandiosity Without Victimhood
Pathological narcissism involves the combination of victimhood and grandiosity, which are cognitive distortions and reaction formations. The narcissist uses these to compensate for feelings of weakness and shame, creating a false narrative of perfection. Both victimhood and grandiosity involve emotionally invested misperceptions of reality, and they serve as a rejection of the narcissist’s true self. These traits are specific to pathological narcissism and are not based on reality.
Narcissist’s Elation is YOU in Shared Fantasy
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the concept of fantasy and narcissistic elation, emphasizing the role of fantasy in regulating the narcissist’s emotions and self-perception. He explains the differences between the bad object and the idealized object, and how they relate to reality testing. Vaknin delves into the concept of narcissistic elation, describing it as a memory of a symbiotic bond with a maternal figure and its role in the shared fantasy. He also explores the impact of narcissistic elation on the narcissist’s relationships and behaviors.
Narcissism: Silence of the Introjects, Including You (Multitasking to Infantilism)
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the role of the false self in pathological narcissism, focusing on its function to silence inner voices, known as introjects. The false self acts as a censor, banishing conflicting introjects and creating a one-party state in the narcissist’s mind. The false self’s success is measured by how effectively it silences the introjects, leading to a constant need for the narcissist to multitask and maintain the false self, resulting in mental exhaustion and constant anxiety. This intricate machinery behind narcissism goes beyond simple behavior and involves a complex interplay of internal dynamics.
Haunted Minds of Narcissist, Borderline: Schizoid Empty Core
In the lecture, Professor Sam Vaknin delves into the concept of emptiness and void at the core of borderline and narcissistic personality disorders. He uses metaphors from physics, such as the supernova and black holes, to explain the internal experiences of individuals with these disorders. He discusses the “hollow personality” and the impact of the void on behaviors and relationships. Vaknin also explores the schizoid personality and its characteristics, emphasizing the intense loneliness and longing for attachment experienced by individuals with these disorders. He delves into the concept of identity and the challenges faced by those with borderline and narcissistic personality disorders in forming a stable sense of self.
Unlimited Freedoms of Psychopathic Narcissist: Reactance Theory
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the concept of reactance theory and its relevance to narcissists and psychopaths. He explains that these individuals are obsessed with unlimited freedom due to their defiance and sense of entitlement. Reactance theory suggests that when people feel their freedoms are threatened or eliminated, they experience distress and resistance, leading to a strong desire to restore their freedom. In the case of narcissists and psychopaths, this can lead to immediate and unstoppable actions to preserve their freedom. The lecture also delves into the psychological implications of reactance and the ways in which it influences behavior and decision-making.