Get Your Defenses Right! (Projection, Rationalization, Splitting)
Professor Vaknin discusses the misuse of psychological terms such as projection, rationalization, and splitting by self-styled experts online. He explains that projection involves attributing one’s negative traits to others, while rationalization is a defense mechanism used to justify socially unacceptable behaviors. Additionally, he delves into the concept of splitting, emphasizing its role in mental health and its connection to narcissism and borderline personality disorder. Vaknin highlights the confusion and misinformation surrounding these concepts and stresses the importance of accurate understanding and education in the field of psychology.
Narcissism is NOT High Self-esteem, Self-worth, Self-confidence (Role of Attribution Error)
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the differences between self-confidence, high self-esteem, and narcissism in this lecture. He explains that healthy self-esteem involves self-acceptance and self-love, while narcissism is compensatory and volatile. He delves into the concept of attribution errors and how they relate to narcissism, as well as the cultural and societal influences on self-esteem. Vaknin emphasizes the importance of stability and self-regulation in healthy self-worth, self-esteem, and self-confidence, contrasting them with the external and unstable nature of narcissism.
Narcissist at Work? 3 Best Ways to Handle Him/Her! (EXCERPT with Conor Ryan, Eyes Wide Open Podcast)
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses dealing with narcissists in a corporate environment, advising to either disconnect or use the “gray rock” method to render oneself uninteresting to the narcissist. He warns of the dangers of challenging or humiliating a narcissist, as they can be vindictive and seek to ruin one’s life. Vaknin also explores the relationship between technology, social media, and the rise of narcissism, suggesting that technology rewards and empowers narcissistic behavior, creating a self-generating feedback loop.
Apocalypting Narcissist, Borderline: Drama, Crisis, Catastrophizing
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the concepts of catastrophizing and apocalyptic behavior in narcissists and individuals with borderline personality disorder. He explains that both engage in exaggerating outcomes and introducing crises into their lives, despite having different cognitive and emotional styles. He delves into the psychological roles of apocalyptic behavior, such as control and manipulation, organizing and explanatory principles, and seeking thrill and risk. Vaknin also explores how individuals with narcissistic and borderline traits use drama and crisis as a means of creative destruction to reinvent their lives. Additionally, he touches on the societal implications of apocalyptic behavior, particularly in the context of mass movements and the revolt of the masses.
Borderline’s Good Object, Bad Behaviors
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the concept of a “good object” as a constellation of voices that inform an individual of their worth and value. He explains how individuals with borderline personality disorder possess a compensatory good object, which serves to reconcile their self-perception with their behaviors. Vaknin also delves into the role of compensation in analytical psychology, emphasizing its positive function in shaping the self. Additionally, he explores the use of compensatory structures in the formation and functioning of the self, as described by Heinz Kohut. Ultimately, Vaknin highlights how both borderline individuals and narcissists utilize compensation to maintain their sense of self.
What Happiness is NOT and IS (with Andrei Tanase, Filmmaker)
In this lecture, Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the etymology of the word “happiness” and its historical meanings. He explains that happiness was originally associated with luck, prosperity, and wealth. He outlines the three components of happiness, which include managing one’s life well, contributing to something outside oneself, and conducting oneself with dignity and integrity. Vaknin emphasizes that happiness is a state of being, not gratification, and that it is internal, not external. He also delves into the concept of authenticity and the importance of being true to oneself. Additionally, he explores the idea of studying unhappiness as a means of understanding happiness, and the role of language in shaping our understanding of happiness.
Why Narcissists are Successful: Cat- vs. Grin Narcopaths (Narcissism Cheshire Effect)
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the success of narcissists and psychopaths in society, attributing it to their ability to thrive in a world that values fantasy and manipulation of symbols in fantastic spaces. He explains the distinction between “cat” narcissists and “green” narcissists, with the latter being more focused on internal feelings and fantasy. Vaknin argues that modern civilization is constructed on the manipulation of symbols and fantastic spaces, providing an advantage to narcissists and psychopaths. He also predicts a future dominated by narcissism and psychopathy, with individuals needing to adapt to this reality to succeed.
Mama’s Boy or Daddy’s Girl? (Compilation)
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses how various types of dysfunctional fathers can impact the development and expression of pathological narcissism in their children. He explains that while the formation of pathological narcissism occurs in the first 36 months of life and is primarily influenced by the mother or maternal figure, the father’s role becomes significant later on, shaping how the child’s narcissism manifests. Vaknin categorizes fathers who exacerbate narcissism in their children into several types, including the dead father, the shameful father, the intermittent father, the antisocial entitled father, the fantasy-prone father, the harsh and critical father, the unjust and sadistic father, the dysregulated father, the incestuous father, the parentifying father, the instrumentalizing father, the pedestalizing father, and the submissive, codependent father. Each type contributes to the child’s narcissistic pathology in different ways, often leading to a variety of narcissistic outcomes in adulthood.
Narcissist Devalues, Discards What He Craves Most: Shared Fantasy as Reaction Formation
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the concept of the narcissist shared fantasy as a form of reaction formation. He explains that reaction formation is a defense mechanism in which unacceptable impulses are replaced with their exact opposite in consciousness. This mechanism is developed in childhood as a result of conditional love and the need to suppress one’s desires and individuality to gain acceptance. Vaknin also explores the connection between reaction formation, socialization, and the fragility of morality, and how it can unravel under stress, leading to acts of cruelty and abuse.
Toxic Help , Backhanded Compliments: Negging, Passive-aggressive Devaluation
Passive aggression is a pervasive and toxic form of aggression that is difficult to detect and can be very damaging. It is a tool used by weak and envious individuals who are unable to express overt aggression. Backhanded compliments and toxic help are examples of passive-aggressive behavior that involve dishonesty, deception, and an inability to interact honestly with others. These behaviors leverage narcissism and paranoia and can be very destructive, causing disorientation, confusion, and emotional pain. It is important to be wary of such individuals and avoid their toxic influence.