3 Signs You’re Mentally Healthy (Bad, Good, Idealized Objects)
In this lecture, Professor Sam Vaknin discusses three signs of mental health. He explains that mentally healthy individuals have impulse control, self-awareness, and empathy. He contrasts these traits with the lack of impulse control, lack of self-awareness, and reduced empathy in mentally ill individuals. Additionally, he delves into the concept of internal objects, distinguishing between bad, good, and idealized objects, and how they impact mental health.
Borderline’s Life is Worth Living, Technicolor Adventure
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the misconceptions and despair surrounding borderline personality disorder. He emphasizes the positive prognosis and effective treatment modalities for the disorder, such as dialectical behavior therapy. Vaknin highlights the creativity, intensity, and enlightenment that individuals with borderline personality disorder possess, and the potential for personal growth and evolution. He encourages those with the disorder not to give up, as their lives are worth living and can have a positive impact on the world.
When Covert Narcissists Cross Paths, Swords
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the dynamics of interactions between covert narcissists. He explains that covert narcissists are adept at hiding their true nature and often present themselves as victims. When two covert narcissists meet, they reinforce each other’s victimhood and engage in a race to the bottom to prove who has suffered more. Over time, one of the covert narcissists may assume the role of an overt narcissist, leading to conflict and competition. Ultimately, same-type narcissists cannot coexist for long, and only opposite types can maintain a structured relationship.
Narcissist Imagines Himself Through YOUR Gaze (Attributional Delusions)
Narcissists idealize themselves through the gaze of other people, known as narcissistic supply, and make assumptions about how others perceive them. They react strongly to their assumptions about the gaze of others, attributing thoughts and beliefs to them without checking if they are correct. This idealization is two-faced, as they idealize others to gain their power to idealize them. Narcissists transition between states, but their desperate need for the gaze of others and their self-love and sexual attraction to themselves remain constant. This self-love is not genuine, but rather a form of limerence, infatuation, or lust.
Haunted Minds of Narcissist, Borderline: Schizoid Empty Core
In the lecture, Professor Sam Vaknin delves into the concept of emptiness and void at the core of borderline and narcissistic personality disorders. He uses metaphors from physics, such as the supernova and black holes, to explain the internal experiences of individuals with these disorders. He discusses the “hollow personality” and the impact of the void on behaviors and relationships. Vaknin also explores the schizoid personality and its characteristics, emphasizing the intense loneliness and longing for attachment experienced by individuals with these disorders. He delves into the concept of identity and the challenges faced by those with borderline and narcissistic personality disorders in forming a stable sense of self.
What Happens When Narcissists Meet Each Other or a Psychopath?
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the concept of the uncanny valley, which is the discomfort people feel when encountering a narcissist. He explains how different types of narcissists interact with each other and with psychopaths, highlighting the immediate and distinct reactions that occur. Vaknin suggests that these interactions can serve as a litmus test for diagnosing personality disorders.
Secrets of Strong, Lasting Relationships
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the characteristics of strong and resilient relationships. He emphasizes the importance of shared vision, continued sexuality, and prioritizing the relationship above all else. He also explores the different types of successful marriages and the tasks that couples must perform to establish a strong and happy relationship. Vaknin draws on the work of Judith Wallerstein and highlights the significance of maintaining love, intimacy, and communication in relationships.
Unlimited Freedoms of Psychopathic Narcissist: Reactance Theory
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the concept of reactance theory and its relevance to narcissists and psychopaths. He explains that these individuals are obsessed with unlimited freedom due to their defiance and sense of entitlement. Reactance theory suggests that when people feel their freedoms are threatened or eliminated, they experience distress and resistance, leading to a strong desire to restore their freedom. In the case of narcissists and psychopaths, this can lead to immediate and unstoppable actions to preserve their freedom. The lecture also delves into the psychological implications of reactance and the ways in which it influences behavior and decision-making.
Unforgiving Narcissist Hoovers to Revenge, Holds Grudges
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the concept of hoovering and how it can be driven by a narcissist’s grudge against the victim. He explains the differences between rail hoovering and vengeful hoovering, and provides warning signs to identify the latter. The lecture delves into the reasons why narcissists find it nearly impossible to forgive, forget, and move on, and how holding grudges serves to reconstitute their grandiosity. Additionally, the lecture explores the role of grudges as a relationship management tool and the psychodynamic reasons behind a narcissist’s tendency to maintain grudges.
Skin-deep Narcissist, Skinless Borderline
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the use of metaphors to understand narcissism and psychopathy, comparing them to natural phenomena. He introduces the metaphor of the skin, likening the narcissist’s false self to the skin’s protective functions and characteristics. He emphasizes the false self’s role in shielding the narcissist from reality and facilitating the conversion of reality into fantasy. Additionally, he explores the false self’s hypervigilance and its impact on the narcissist’s perception of the world.