So with online dating, it seems like people get an ego boost, right?

So you’re there, you see, okay, I’m validated, I’ve had these contacts, and you have these superficial, meaningless texts back and forth that can go on for weeks, and very rarely do you actually go out and meet anyone.

So is this all just to placate the ego, to make you know that you’re desired and to not take it further? Or is this a lazy man’s way of trying to date but not actually putting one’s self out there?

I mean, I don’t understand the phenomenon.

There are numerous reasons for being on dating apps. There are quite a few studies by now on dating apps.

Women and men have different motivations for being on dating apps. Men are on dating apps for casual sex. Regardless of what they say, by the way, women are on dating apps with a desperate hope for a relationship. Never mind what they say, by the way.

And there’s a total mismatch. So typically, there’s a ratio of one to ten for every ten matches with men. I mean, women are much more selective. They’re like ten times more selective than men.

But the end result is that your chances to have sex with another partner, with a partner through dating apps, are just about one in a million. And I’m not exaggerating. That’s the real figure. It’s about one in a million.

And so the vast majority of dating app interactions have to do with self-validation, entertainment. It’s entertaining.

Boredom. Filling the time. It’s a little like surfing or watching television or being on a forum. It’s a form of social media in other words. So this is a social medium.

Exactly like, I don’t know, Facebook or Instagram. More like Instagram. No one has any real expectation to have sex or to have a relationship, definitely, when you come on. I mean, maybe you have such an expectation if you’re a newbie, if you’re an obvious. But after one month on a dating app, Tinder, for example, you realize it’s bullshit. It’s a waste of time. I mean, you’re just swiping and texting. And then swiping and texting and swiping and texting. Nothing comes out of it. No one wants to meet you in real life.

And then if they do meet you, I mean, it’s like Hail Mary if you get if you get late.

So dating apps suck as dating when it comes to dating. They suck. Absolutely suck. But they’re great. They’re great in connection, communication, validation, fun, entertainment. And they lead, for example, to sexting. They lead to sexting and coming. That’s much more common than real life meetings.

So a lot of people sext and cam and chat and text. And then they move on.

And so a typical user would communicate with 300 other users a month. Meet one of them. And in one of 100 such meetings, he would end up having sex. And in one of 70 such meetings, such sexual experiences, he would end up having a relationship. That’s how bad it is.

Now, the fact is that one third of all relationships and one half of all marriages start with a hookup. So hookups do lead to relationships and marriages.

But the problem is, you need to hook up with a hell of a lot of people to end up in a relationship, let alone a marriage. So you need essentially to prostitute yourself, men, men or women. You need to prostitute yourself to hundreds of strangers, dozens of strangers before you end up with someone who is willing to consider anything seriously with you, committed, invested in the long term.

All these technological advances don’t mesh well with real life. 80% of all serious relationships, marriages included, that’s 80%, 8-0. To this very day, this moment, have to do with introductions. You were introduced to someone by friends and family. That’s 80%.

Introductions via friends and family outweigh dating apps by a factor of 17,000. Your chances to find someone for a serious relationship, commitment, investment and marriage are 17,000 times higher than if you use a dating app.

Simple.

Social media infidelity. This is something I wanted to write about. I’ve noticed on Twitter, it’s like a smorgasbord of married men who go on there and they just seem, I don’t know, I figured out how they do it. They can look up by location and profession, certain people, so they, you know, they’re like journalists, they’ll look up a journalist and they’ll see it’s near me and they’ll follow every one of them. And if they follow them back, then they’ll send the messages and they’ll be doing this and that. They’re all married, okay? And they’re doing this on Facebook. They’re doing it on Instagram. They’re on Instagram like liking nude models and they’re married and the wife can see this and other people can see it. It’s like, is this cheating or is this just like self-mastimatory kind of crap? Like these guys are just like, yep, I like it. They’re just like, they’re like, yeah, yeah, that’s hot. I like it. I like it. I like it. And it means nothing. Or are they secretly hoping that these women will respond to them and then they’ll run off on their wives? And you know what I mean? Is it cheating?

Men want to fuck. Men want to fuck. So any interaction with a woman, and I repeat any interaction with a woman, is geared towards securing sex. End of story.

Your grandmother was right. Men just want to get in your pants.

Now, this even has a clinical name. It’s called sexual overperception. Men interpret every female gesture, every female word, every kindness, every remark as an invitation to a sex, which creates a lot of misunderstandings and leads to sexual assault and rape.

So women are online interacting with women because they hope to bed them. They hope to go to bed with them.

And don’t you believe anything else? Women are utterly uninterested in women. Men are utterly uninterested in women. They just want to go to bed with them.

Now, having gone to bed with them, men tend to develop affections, romantic bonding and attachment more than women, actually. Studies show that women get bored in monogamous relationships, much more than men. Women get bored with the sex in monogamous relationships much faster than men.

And studies show that women reject men’s offers for romantic relationships much more than men.

Men are the romantics, but there are gateways through sex. Men fall in love with women they have sex with. Women have sex with men they love.

So it’s a bit of a different trajectory.

So even when a man has sex with a total stranger, she would create a fantasy of this total stranger where he is, I don’t know, amazing, intelligent, funny, witty. She would invent a story. She would spin a story around this stranger to make it more palatable for her to resolve the cognitive dissonance of why she’s having a sex with a stranger. A man would never do this. A man is body-oriented.

Actually, we discovered that men orgasm as frequently when they’re exposed to body parts as when they’re exposed to the whole body. That’s why women keep sending you dick pics.

Well, I thought that was wasn’t that a paraphilia, though?

No, men react to visuals and they react to body parts. So men would react to boobs or vaginas very powerfully. They would orgasm.

So that’s why they send you dick pics because they think you’re the same. They think it would react to the same way.

Oh, that’s okay. Women need totality. Women are actually, women consume pornography more than men but not visual pornography, textual pornography. Women read novels and texts which are essentially pornographic in nature, much more than men. One-third of all visual pornography consumers are women. That’s one-third.

But if you add to this pornographic text, women consume much more pornography than men. They just need text. They need a context. They need a story, in other words. They need a narrative.

And it’s very common for a woman to get drunk, to meet a total stranger, and to spin a story or a narrative around this stranger. He’s mysterious, he’s amazing, he’s witty, he’s funny, he’s attractive, I don’t know what, and then go to bed with him while men dispense with this intermediary stage.

This is go to bed with the body or body parts.

So this is the difference between the sexes when they meet and interact.

So social media allows men to hunt. They’re predators in nature. They’re hunters.

Allows men to hunt.

But women are not averse to being hunted.

But if you think that social media is a new thing, it’s not true. In the 1940s, 30s actually, you know what, going back to the 20s, many, many newspapers in the United States and all over the world, they had what was called the classified romantic ads. You could put an ad in the classified section saying, I’m a lonely spinster and I’m looking for the right man, or I’m a widower and I would love to have you in my life.

A typical classified ad ad section in the newspaper constituted the bulk of the newspaper, actually. There were thousands of women. And they were the equivalent of a BBS, which is a bulletin board service, or an IRC, or much later, chat forums, and later, you know, social media. Social media are just the latest incarnation of a trend that is at least 100 years old.

So married men liking all those women on Twitter and Instagram. That’s the equivalent of going into local for checking out the 40-year-old boyfriend.

They don’t care. They don’t give a hoot about you, your education, your knowledge. They don’t care who you are. They play the game. They would date you. They would listen to you, to your boring nonsense for six hours. They would pretend to be interested in you. They would buy you drinks.

They would, I mean, you name it, just to get to get in your pants.

And if you deny them that, they will get very pissed off and very aggressive. You try it.

I’ve done it before, yeah. Right.

They get very pissed off and very aggressive.

I just thought I was captivating, you know. I guess I wasn’t.

So this is it. Men are primitive binary devices. We’re in a bit more complex, which is why women will rule in the future. They’re a bit more complex.

Oops. I can hear myself, which is not a bad thing, but there’s an echo.

All right. And it is this mismatch between perceptions of the other gender or other sex, expectations, sexual scripts, social scripts. There’s an enormous mismatch between men and women.

And never as large today, never as large. I mean, it’s the largest ever. There’s such a gap, such an abyss, such a chasm between men and women today, because they’re not playing by the same rulebook. They’re not playing. They don’t share the same playbook.

And so it’s everyone for his own, on his own. And everyone has to reinvent the rules as they go along. But the seat of their pants, it’s like, you know, played by ear.

And very often, there’s people, I mean, people misread each other. They misinterpret each other. It creates a lot of misunderstanding, a lot of anger, a lot of frustration.

And people who are less, who have less impulse control, they end up sexually assaulting or raping or concentration is really bad, really bad.

So would you say that you are religious? Would you say that religion is good, that it had a good impact on sexuality and, you know, and curbing, you know, marriage was good? Or what’s your opinion?

So you said earlier that you like gender roles and you thought that gender roles are actually good for defining positive relationships?

More, not gender roles, sexual scripts, sexual scripts and social scripts. It’s simply, sexual scripts simply tell you how to behave as a man and how to behave as a woman in the sexual sense, how to behave as a female and how to behave as a male. And social scripts have to do with social expectations and expectations from each other.

Gender roles are something completely different. Gender roles are socialized and they are used actually to render women submissive. So I think gender roles are very toxic and pernicious things.

And I’m pretty glad that they are disappearing.

But the fact that there are no sexual scripts and social scripts is very bad because it leaves everyone to fend off for themselves and to reinvent the wheel in every single interaction.

And not everyone is capable of this, you know, not everyone is that intelligent and that informed and that impulse control.

So if you know what you have to do as a man and you know what you have to do as a woman or more precisely if you know how to behave as a male and the woman knows how to behave as a female on the sexual level, biological, totally biological, not societal, not cultural, but biology, that’s okay.

But if you don’t, then you have to negotiate and there’s a lot of, there are many possibilities for miscommunication, misunderstanding. It can end very badly and does end badly.

So religion, I’m never in favor of replacing one form of mental illness with another.

So religion is a form of mental illness. And yes, it’s true that delusional disorders can have behavior modification effect, can modify behavior.

So if you hold certain specific delusions, they modify your behavior and may even endow you with impulse control.

But it’s still mental illness. I don’t think believing in God or other such utter insane inane nonsense, even if they do have beneficial effects on society at large and individual conduct more specifically, I don’t think it’s a price worth paying.

I don’t think to render yourself insane in order to control your behavior is a good idea.

Hasn’t worked for me. I tried other ways, it didn’t work.

So I’m absolutely against religion. I’m an agnostic. I don’t know if there is a God or isn’t a God, I don’t even have an idea what is a God. But I’m an agnostic, but I’m definitely against religion, which is the assumption or the pronouncement that there is a God for sure. And that the very fact that or alleged fact that there is a God should dictate behaviors and I think that’s delusional disorder. I think it’s very close to psychosis, it’s mental illness.

It’s only that we are politically correct, and we don’t have the balls to lock up all these not– visits.

Is there anyone who claims that there is a God or angels or otherwise is mentally ill needs help, medication and in extreme cases needs locking up. But who would dare to say this?

Well, I don’t want to keep you all the time.

I don’t want to keep you all day long.

Yeah, I think people won’t be able to watch beyond this point.

Yeah, you’re such a big fan. I love your book. You’re brilliant. You know, I’d love to maybe if I can interview you sometime in the future, I’d love to be able to talk to you again. So it was a privilege. I look forward to putting this up. I’m going to be launching my site on Valentine’s Day.

So it’s a good day.

So thank you for having me. Would you mind if I upload? Would you mind if I upload the interview now? Or would you want me to do?

Yeah, upload it now. Go for it. No one’s going to know. Do whatever you want with it.

Thank you so much for your time. You’re brilliant. You’re my favorite YouTuber and have a great day.

Thank you. You too. Take care. Bye. Bye.