My name is Sam Vaknin. I am the author of Malignant Self-Love, Narcissism Revisited.

Can two narcissists establish a long-term, stable relationship? The answer is a qualified yes.

There are many types of narcissists, somatic, cerebral, classic, compensatory, inverted, and so on. Two narcissists of the same type cannot maintain a stable, long-term, full-fledged and functional relationship. Two narcissists of different types or opposing types can, often do, maintain long-term, stable and rather happy relationships.

Let’s go back a bit.

There are two main types of narcissists.

One is a somatic narcissist and the other one is a cerebral narcissist.

The somatic type of narcissist relies on his body and sexuality to generate attention, adulation and admiration. Known collectively as narcissistic supply.

The cerebral narcissist leverages his intellect, his intelligence and his professional achievements to obtain the same.

Narcissists are either predominantly cerebral or overwhelmingly somatic. In other words, they either generate the narcissistic supply by using their bodies or by flaunting their minds.

It is a mistake though to assume type constancy. In other words, all narcissists are at the same time cerebral and somatic.

In each narcissist, one of the types is dominant. So the narcissist is either largely cerebral or largely somatic.

But the other recessive type, the type that is manifested less frequently is still there. It is lurking. It is waiting to erupt.

The narcissist swings between his dominant type and his recessive type. And his recessive type manifests mainly after a major narcissistic injury or life crisis.

Thus, if both members of the couple are cerebral narcissists, for instance, both of them are scholars, the resulting competition prevents them from serving as ample sources of narcissistic supply to each other. They compete and in competing, they injure each other narcissistically and they provoke in each other rage, which retards intimacy, which prevents their relationship from cementing and surviving.

Finally, the mutual admiration society crumbles and the bond is severed. Consumed by the pursuit of their own narcissistic gratification, the members of such a couple have no time or energy or will left to cater to the narcissistic needs of their partner.

Moreover, the partner is perceived as a dangerous and vicious contender for scarce resources, sources of narcissistic supply. This may be less true if the two narcissists work in totally unrelated academic or intellectual fields.

But even then, generally speaking, the competitive streak in narcissists, the need to secure sources of narcissistic supply in the same milieu, the same environment, the same pathological narcissistic space virtually guarantees a series of clashes, which inevitably and invariably result in separation.

But if the narcissists involved are of different types, if one of them is, for instance, cerebral and the other one is somatic, a long-term relationship based on the mutual provision of narcissistic supply can definitely happen and hold.

Example, if one of the narcissists is somatic, uses his or her body as a source of narcissistic gratification and the other member of the couple is cerebral, uses his intellect or his professional achievements as such a source.

There is nothing to destabilize such a collaboration. It is even potentially emotionally rewarding.

The somatic narcissist, member of the couple, admires the cerebral for his intellectual achievements. The cerebral narcissist admires the bodily beauty of the somatic narcissist. They both compliment and gratify each other in a virtuous cycle.

The relationship between such two narcissists resembles a one that exists between an artist and his art or a collector and his collection. This can and does change, of course, as the narcissist involved grow older, flabbier and less agile intellectually.

In other words, when they lose their assets.

The somatic narcissist is also prone to multiple sexual relationships and encounters intended to support his somatic and sexual self-image. These may subject the relationship to fracturing strains.

But all in all, stable and enduring relationship can and often does develop between dissimilar narcissists. As they grow older, the somatic narcissist loses his beauty, his sexual prowess. This cerebral narcissist loses his intellectual agility, his rendition.

They still have their memories to fall back on. Each serves as the memory pool of the other. Each remains in the relationship, which one of them remains a relationship in order to remind the other of moments of glory and past narcissistic supply.

It’s the perfect match made in narcissistic heaven.