Tip: click a paragraph to jump to the exact moment in the video. Psychopath’s Flying Monkeys Unlike Narcissist’s

1. 00:02 Today I want to offer you a quickie. Get your minds out of the gutter. You hear me? A quickie is a short video in Vaknin terms. Of course, shorter than 3 hours 45 minutes and 16 seconds. The average video on my channel. No, seriously. Today I want to discuss something that I’ve been asked a few times. My name is Sam Vaknin. I’m the author of Malignant Self-Love, Narcissism Revisited, and a professor of psychology. And people have been asking me, “The narcissist has flying monkeys. Does the psychopath have flying Today I want to offer you a quickie. Get your minds out of the gutter. You hear me? A quickie is a short video in Vaknin terms. Of course, shorter than 3 hours 45 minutes and 16 seconds. The average video on my channel. No, seriously. Today I want to discuss something that I’ve been asked a few times. My name is Sam Vaknin. I’m the author of Malignant Self-Love, Narcissism Revisited, and a professor of psychology. And people have been asking me, “The narcissist has flying monkeys. Does the psychopath have flying
2. 00:43 monkeys?” And the answer is yes. By the way, before I go there, everyone and his dog and his mother-in-law would tell you that the phrase flying monkeys emanates from the book The Wizard of Oz. I challenge you to find this phrase in the book. This is a demonstration of the power of misinformation and how everyone becomes convinced that it’s the truth just because they heard it from six other people. Okay, Shashanim, enough pontificating. Let’s get to the point. What’s the difference between the narcissist flying monkeys?” And the answer is yes. By the way, before I go there, everyone and his dog and his mother-in-law would tell you that the phrase flying monkeys emanates from the book The Wizard of Oz. I challenge you to find this phrase in the book. This is a demonstration of the power of misinformation and how everyone becomes convinced that it’s the truth just because they heard it from six other people. Okay, Shashanim, enough pontificating. Let’s get to the point. What’s the difference between the narcissist flying
3. 01:24 monkeys and the psychopaths flying monkeys? None. Actually, the flying monkeys in both cases are the same. However, the motivation of the narcissist is vastly different to the motivation of the psychopath. Whereas the narcissist uses flying monkeys in order to regulate or restore his or her inflated fantastic grandio self-concept. The psychopath leverages flying monkeys in order to accomplish some goal. So let’s elaborate a bit. The narcissist has an inflated fantastic grandio counterfactual monkeys and the psychopaths flying monkeys? None. Actually, the flying monkeys in both cases are the same. However, the motivation of the narcissist is vastly different to the motivation of the psychopath. Whereas the narcissist uses flying monkeys in order to regulate or restore his or her inflated fantastic grandio self-concept. The psychopath leverages flying monkeys in order to accomplish some goal. So let’s elaborate a bit. The narcissist has an inflated fantastic grandio counterfactual
4. 02:14 um sense of self. This is known as the selfconcept. It is it comprises self-esteem, self-confidence, a sense of self-worth and a self-image or a self-perception. In Freud’s day, he called it the ego ideal. At any rate, the narcissist is very protective of this narrative, of this piece of fiction that came to define him and to constitute him in due time. There is nothing to the narcissist but this completely pathetic and demented frankly um story about who he who he is. And so the narcissist is constantly on um sense of self. This is known as the selfconcept. It is it comprises self-esteem, self-confidence, a sense of self-worth and a self-image or a self-perception. In Freud’s day, he called it the ego ideal. At any rate, the narcissist is very protective of this narrative, of this piece of fiction that came to define him and to constitute him in due time. There is nothing to the narcissist but this completely pathetic and demented frankly um story about who he who he is. And so the narcissist is constantly on
5. 03:03 the alert, constantly hypervigilant. Am I being challenged? Am I being criticized? Am I being undermined? Do people disagree with me? Do they mock me? Do they shun me? This is known as hypervigilance. The narcissist scans the room constantly for slides, real and imagined. any innocuous statement, any behavior could be interpreted as an attempt to puncture the bubble, to deflate the self-concept. And because a narcissist is built like this, everything the narcissist does, enormous investments of energy and time the alert, constantly hypervigilant. Am I being challenged? Am I being criticized? Am I being undermined? Do people disagree with me? Do they mock me? Do they shun me? This is known as hypervigilance. The narcissist scans the room constantly for slides, real and imagined. any innocuous statement, any behavior could be interpreted as an attempt to puncture the bubble, to deflate the self-concept. And because a narcissist is built like this, everything the narcissist does, enormous investments of energy and time
6. 03:44 and effort go into the maintenance, the preservation, the butressing and the fortification of the self-concept. When the self-concept is challenged, when the self-concept is exposed as facious, when the self-concept is undermined, when the self-concept is no longer functional, the environment has changed, other people have entered the scene. When reality pushes back so hard that the narcissist can no longer deceive himself or herself efficaciously at that point the narcissist experiences narcissistic injury or in extreme cases and effort go into the maintenance, the preservation, the butressing and the fortification of the self-concept. When the self-concept is challenged, when the self-concept is exposed as facious, when the self-concept is undermined, when the self-concept is no longer functional, the environment has changed, other people have entered the scene. When reality pushes back so hard that the narcissist can no longer deceive himself or herself efficaciously at that point the narcissist experiences narcissistic injury or in extreme cases
7. 04:30 narcissistic motification. Narcissistic motification is common when the narcissist is shamed and humiliated usually in public but definitely abruptly and unexpectedly. In all these situations, injury, mortification, challenging, in all these situations, the narcissist becomes highly defensive, aggressively defensive, I would say. And the narcissist leverages his resources to the maximum, including people in the narcissist ambit, friends, acquaintances, spouses, children, neighbors, co-workers, total strangers. narcissistic motification. Narcissistic motification is common when the narcissist is shamed and humiliated usually in public but definitely abruptly and unexpectedly. In all these situations, injury, mortification, challenging, in all these situations, the narcissist becomes highly defensive, aggressively defensive, I would say. And the narcissist leverages his resources to the maximum, including people in the narcissist ambit, friends, acquaintances, spouses, children, neighbors, co-workers, total strangers.
8. 05:12 The narcissist recruits them, converts them, creates a zombie, army of zombies, and their role is to restore to restore the narcissist’s self-perception as godlike, superior, a perfect being, infallible, incapable of defeat and failure. And the flying monkeys do this either by devaluing the source of the frustration or the source of the challenge or the source of the criticism or the source of the disagreement. Devaluing or destroying the source or by reassuring the narcissist within what we call ass shared fantasy that the The narcissist recruits them, converts them, creates a zombie, army of zombies, and their role is to restore to restore the narcissist’s self-perception as godlike, superior, a perfect being, infallible, incapable of defeat and failure. And the flying monkeys do this either by devaluing the source of the frustration or the source of the challenge or the source of the criticism or the source of the disagreement. Devaluing or destroying the source or by reassuring the narcissist within what we call ass shared fantasy that the
9. 06:00 source is wrong. the source is wrong because the source of the challenge or the source of the criticism or the source of the disagreement is stupid, illinformed, partly informed maybe and so on so forth. So either they devalue the source or they reassert the narcissist supremacy and the narcissist elevation and the narcissist divine divinity within a newly formed or newly established shared fantasy excluding ostentatiously and aggressively the source of frustration and the source of motification and the source of injury. source is wrong. the source is wrong because the source of the challenge or the source of the criticism or the source of the disagreement is stupid, illinformed, partly informed maybe and so on so forth. So either they devalue the source or they reassert the narcissist supremacy and the narcissist elevation and the narcissist divine divinity within a newly formed or newly established shared fantasy excluding ostentatiously and aggressively the source of frustration and the source of motification and the source of injury.
10. 06:43 The narcissist is focus only on this. Narcissist don’t care about money. They don’t care about power. They don’t care about anything unless and until it can be used and leveraged to obtain narcissistic supply thereby sustaining and maintaining an inflated fantastic grandio counterfactual self-concept. End of story. So a narcissist would be interested in money because money draws attention. A narcissist of course would hark after power would would seek power because power draws attention. A narcissist The narcissist is focus only on this. Narcissist don’t care about money. They don’t care about power. They don’t care about anything unless and until it can be used and leveraged to obtain narcissistic supply thereby sustaining and maintaining an inflated fantastic grandio counterfactual self-concept. End of story. So a narcissist would be interested in money because money draws attention. A narcissist of course would hark after power would would seek power because power draws attention. A narcissist
11. 07:22 would acquire a trophy spouse because a trophy spouse draws attention. It’s all about attention. Narcissistic supply, positive or negative. And so flying monkeys are no exception. They are tools. they are instrumentalized. Their aim is to allow the narcissist to recover and then to restore um his urswal self-perception and self-image um in defiance of reality. In this sense you could conceive of the flying monkeys as a kind of firewall which allow the narcissist to conileles and at the same would acquire a trophy spouse because a trophy spouse draws attention. It’s all about attention. Narcissistic supply, positive or negative. And so flying monkeys are no exception. They are tools. they are instrumentalized. Their aim is to allow the narcissist to recover and then to restore um his urswal self-perception and self-image um in defiance of reality. In this sense you could conceive of the flying monkeys as a kind of firewall which allow the narcissist to conileles and at the same
12. 08:03 time destroy the narcissist’s perceived enemies. The narcissist enemies are people who would not allow the narcissist to um develop a shared fantasy within which he is godlike would challenge the narcissist self-perception as divine and infallible. Anyone who does not go along with the narcissist narrative is automatically an enemy and this is known as a splitting defense. The psychopath on the other hand is goal oriented. Psychopaths want power. They want sex. They want money, your money. They want your life. They can steal it time destroy the narcissist’s perceived enemies. The narcissist enemies are people who would not allow the narcissist to um develop a shared fantasy within which he is godlike would challenge the narcissist self-perception as divine and infallible. Anyone who does not go along with the narcissist narrative is automatically an enemy and this is known as a splitting defense. The psychopath on the other hand is goal oriented. Psychopaths want power. They want sex. They want money, your money. They want your life. They can steal it
13. 08:44 from you. They want your loved ones, a spouse. They will cheat with her. They they they want something and they usually want something that you possess. They’re very envious in this sense. So a psychopath would also be surrounded by flying monkeys. But he would leverage these flying monkeys to accomplish an aim, a goal. The psychopath is purposeful. He has a purpose. He has an agenda. usually hidden, illicit and um ulterior motive. So the psychopath would send his flying monkeys, for example, to convince from you. They want your loved ones, a spouse. They will cheat with her. They they they want something and they usually want something that you possess. They’re very envious in this sense. So a psychopath would also be surrounded by flying monkeys. But he would leverage these flying monkeys to accomplish an aim, a goal. The psychopath is purposeful. He has a purpose. He has an agenda. usually hidden, illicit and um ulterior motive. So the psychopath would send his flying monkeys, for example, to convince
14. 09:25 someone to give him his her money or he would send his flying monkeys to convince someone to have sex with him. Or he would send his flying monkeys to exact retribution and revenge and punishment on his enemies in order to remove them from the scene and to teach a lesson. um to restore his deterrence or he would send someone he would he would create a group of flying monkeys in order to attain power and establish a network of patronage and clientele. The psychopath is grounded in reality. The psychopath’s reality testing is not someone to give him his her money or he would send his flying monkeys to convince someone to have sex with him. Or he would send his flying monkeys to exact retribution and revenge and punishment on his enemies in order to remove them from the scene and to teach a lesson. um to restore his deterrence or he would send someone he would he would create a group of flying monkeys in order to attain power and establish a network of patronage and clientele. The psychopath is grounded in reality. The psychopath’s reality testing is not
15. 10:02 impaired and the psychopath leverages his or her cold empathy in order to acquire flying monkeys in order to then use them as long arms and maintaining all the time plausible deniability and some distance from the scene of a crime or the scene of the action. That’s not the case with the narcissist. The narcissist is intimately involved in the choices and decisions and speech acts and actions of his or her flying monkeys. He is one of them actually. And he’s he leads this army of zombies into impaired and the psychopath leverages his or her cold empathy in order to acquire flying monkeys in order to then use them as long arms and maintaining all the time plausible deniability and some distance from the scene of a crime or the scene of the action. That’s not the case with the narcissist. The narcissist is intimately involved in the choices and decisions and speech acts and actions of his or her flying monkeys. He is one of them actually. And he’s he leads this army of zombies into
16. 10:39 battle. And again both the psychopath and the narcissist may seek retribution. But the psychopath would do this in order to render the future more aminable, more easily operable. So the psychopath would remove rivals, would remove adversaries and enemies and this would be the psychopath’s retribution. While the narcissist would act against people, some people because they threaten the self-concept, the false self. So when we observe psychopaths and narcissists in action with their networks of flying monkeys, battle. And again both the psychopath and the narcissist may seek retribution. But the psychopath would do this in order to render the future more aminable, more easily operable. So the psychopath would remove rivals, would remove adversaries and enemies and this would be the psychopath’s retribution. While the narcissist would act against people, some people because they threaten the self-concept, the false self. So when we observe psychopaths and narcissists in action with their networks of flying monkeys,
17. 11:31 we would be hardpressed to tell the difference. Both of them seek retribution for example or both of them want to punish someone or both of them devalue someone or both of them seek money and power. But the motivation is very different. The motivation is very different because everything in the narcissist’s life is mediated via the false self and its needs. It’s a primitive god, a very demanding one, harsh and sadistic. The narcissist engages in human sacrifice. He sacrifices himself and others to this we would be hardpressed to tell the difference. Both of them seek retribution for example or both of them want to punish someone or both of them devalue someone or both of them seek money and power. But the motivation is very different. The motivation is very different because everything in the narcissist’s life is mediated via the false self and its needs. It’s a primitive god, a very demanding one, harsh and sadistic. The narcissist engages in human sacrifice. He sacrifices himself and others to this
18. 12:07 mollock. While this psychopath is a happy golucky um traveler in life, he spots opportunities and then pounces on them and realizes and materializes them with the with the help of other unwitting partners or collaborators or accompllices. And they in all these cases we’re talking about flying monkeys. But of course the motivation is different and the assignment the task assigned to the flying monkeys is very different. Psychopath would send out the armies of flying monkeys and tell them go and get me this. Go and do this for mollock. While this psychopath is a happy golucky um traveler in life, he spots opportunities and then pounces on them and realizes and materializes them with the with the help of other unwitting partners or collaborators or accompllices. And they in all these cases we’re talking about flying monkeys. But of course the motivation is different and the assignment the task assigned to the flying monkeys is very different. Psychopath would send out the armies of flying monkeys and tell them go and get me this. Go and do this for
19. 12:56 me. Go and punish this person for me. Go and investigate for me. Go I mean go and there’s a task. There’s an assignment. There’s a job, there’s a role to play, and it’s well defined. It’s clear and it’s coherent. It’s within a cohesive framework of obtaining or securing a certain accomplishment or certain goal or meeting a certain purpose and direction. Whereas a narcissist is much more emotional in negatively is that has many more negative effects. He’s much me. Go and punish this person for me. Go and investigate for me. Go I mean go and there’s a task. There’s an assignment. There’s a job, there’s a role to play, and it’s well defined. It’s clear and it’s coherent. It’s within a cohesive framework of obtaining or securing a certain accomplishment or certain goal or meeting a certain purpose and direction. Whereas a narcissist is much more emotional in negatively is that has many more negative effects. He’s much
20. 13:30 more disregulated. So the Narcissist would send out flying monkeys and he would um create a narrative of victimhood, a narrative of self-sacrifice, a narrative of restoring justice, a narrative of rescuing and saving other people. Because these narratives serve to uphold and support and butress a totally infantile crazy detached from reality view of oneself. A narcissist, for example, would say, “I’m a good person. I’m a fighter for justice. I’m a healer. I’m a fixer. I’m a rescuer. I’m a more disregulated. So the Narcissist would send out flying monkeys and he would um create a narrative of victimhood, a narrative of self-sacrifice, a narrative of restoring justice, a narrative of rescuing and saving other people. Because these narratives serve to uphold and support and butress a totally infantile crazy detached from reality view of oneself. A narcissist, for example, would say, “I’m a good person. I’m a fighter for justice. I’m a healer. I’m a fixer. I’m a rescuer. I’m a
21. 14:13 savior. I expose wrongdoing.” And so on so forth. And then he would recruit flying monkeys and they would be given the task of supporting this completely inane if not insane self-concept. Whereas a psychopath couldn’t care less what you think about him or her. Usually it’s a him couldn’t care less. Psychopath the only time the psychopath loses his cool is when mission is not accomplished. When he fails to obtain goals. The psychopath motification is a sudden and abrupt change in savior. I expose wrongdoing.” And so on so forth. And then he would recruit flying monkeys and they would be given the task of supporting this completely inane if not insane self-concept. Whereas a psychopath couldn’t care less what you think about him or her. Usually it’s a him couldn’t care less. Psychopath the only time the psychopath loses his cool is when mission is not accomplished. When he fails to obtain goals. The psychopath motification is a sudden and abrupt change in
22. 14:50 circumstances or in the environment which frustrate him and render him unable to to attain a goal to accomplish something. Um psychopath injury psychopath psychopathic injury is when the goal becomes remote. It’s re ever receding and it’s more and more difficult to obtain. becomes increasingly more difficult. That’s injury. Whereas a narcissist injury and motification is simply when the false self is at risk of being exposed shamefully as what it is and a totally um childish rendition of oneself. circumstances or in the environment which frustrate him and render him unable to to attain a goal to accomplish something. Um psychopath injury psychopath psychopathic injury is when the goal becomes remote. It’s re ever receding and it’s more and more difficult to obtain. becomes increasingly more difficult. That’s injury. Whereas a narcissist injury and motification is simply when the false self is at risk of being exposed shamefully as what it is and a totally um childish rendition of oneself.
23. 15:37 a convicting distorting mirror that has little to do with reality and that renders a nar narcissist actually a laughable laughing stone, pathetic and inefficacious in the long run. Whereas narcissists like to brag and boast boast about their imminent accomplishments and goals attained, they usually fail time and again, time and again. And yet the flying monkeys isolate the narcissist from recognizing or accepting the failure. Flying monkeys are in a cult. And the narcissist cult is about self-enhancement and self a convicting distorting mirror that has little to do with reality and that renders a nar narcissist actually a laughable laughing stone, pathetic and inefficacious in the long run. Whereas narcissists like to brag and boast boast about their imminent accomplishments and goals attained, they usually fail time and again, time and again. And yet the flying monkeys isolate the narcissist from recognizing or accepting the failure. Flying monkeys are in a cult. And the narcissist cult is about self-enhancement and self
24. 16:27 aggrandisement. And the psychopath cult is let’s do great things together. Let me accomplish goals on your behalf as well. Okay. I hope that I clarified the distinctions between narcissistic flying monkeys and psychopathic flying monkeys. In due time, as things evolve, I’m going to give you examples with names. Some of these names, you know, well, and the information I am about to reveal and expose is going to shock all of you beyond bewilderment. Maybe you have become someone’s flying aggrandisement. And the psychopath cult is let’s do great things together. Let me accomplish goals on your behalf as well. Okay. I hope that I clarified the distinctions between narcissistic flying monkeys and psychopathic flying monkeys. In due time, as things evolve, I’m going to give you examples with names. Some of these names, you know, well, and the information I am about to reveal and expose is going to shock all of you beyond bewilderment. Maybe you have become someone’s flying
25. 17:06 monkeys or members of his cult. Think about it. monkeys or members of his cult. Think about it.