Tip: click a paragraph to jump to the exact moment in the video. Self-analysis or Rumination? (FREE Seminar in Description)

1. 00:02 I’m repeatedly asked, “What is the difference between silent treatment and no contact?” It’s pretty simple. Silent treatment is an assault, sometimes with a deadly weapon. Silent treatment is an assault, whereas no contact is self-defense. They may look similar from the outside, but they’re completely different. Similarly, there is a huge difference between rumination and introspection or self analysis. Self analysis, rumination, intrusive thoughts, obsession in extreme cases, I’m repeatedly asked, “What is the difference between silent treatment and no contact?” It’s pretty simple. Silent treatment is an assault, sometimes with a deadly weapon. Silent treatment is an assault, whereas no contact is self-defense. They may look similar from the outside, but they’re completely different. Similarly, there is a huge difference between rumination and introspection or self analysis. Self analysis, rumination, intrusive thoughts, obsession in extreme cases,
2. 00:44 they’re often erroneously confused and conflated. Rumination is a funeral. Self analysis is a rebirth. There are two simple tests to help you to distinguish between rumination and introspection, self-awareness, self-consciousness, selfdoubt, self analysis, self-examination, soulsearching. None of these have anything to do with rumination. And here are the tests. Number one, ask yourself, am I focused on finding solutions? If you constantly think about finding solutions, even if this consumes a lot they’re often erroneously confused and conflated. Rumination is a funeral. Self analysis is a rebirth. There are two simple tests to help you to distinguish between rumination and introspection, self-awareness, self-consciousness, selfdoubt, self analysis, self-examination, soulsearching. None of these have anything to do with rumination. And here are the tests. Number one, ask yourself, am I focused on finding solutions? If you constantly think about finding solutions, even if this consumes a lot
3. 01:30 of your time and effort and energy, this is self analysis. Or are you spending the time revisiting, re-examining, and reliving problems, debacles, failures, defeats, hurts, pain, injustice, discrimination from the past, revisiting them from different angles. If you keep doing this, if you’re focused on the problem, not the solution, the bad experience, not the way forward, that is rumination. And rumination usually deals with issues that have no bearing on the here and now. No bearing either on reality, the of your time and effort and energy, this is self analysis. Or are you spending the time revisiting, re-examining, and reliving problems, debacles, failures, defeats, hurts, pain, injustice, discrimination from the past, revisiting them from different angles. If you keep doing this, if you’re focused on the problem, not the solution, the bad experience, not the way forward, that is rumination. And rumination usually deals with issues that have no bearing on the here and now. No bearing either on reality, the
4. 02:22 present, or the future. Rumination is not operational. Rumination is not functional. Rumination is not executive. Rumination wallowing in bad memories and bad experiences and and being full of rage and hatred and grudges for people who have wronged you and imagining all kinds of retributions. All this leads nowhere because it is not focused on finding a solution, altering or transforming or changing the situation or yourself. It is past oriented, not future oriented. If the thinking that you’re doing present, or the future. Rumination is not operational. Rumination is not functional. Rumination is not executive. Rumination wallowing in bad memories and bad experiences and and being full of rage and hatred and grudges for people who have wronged you and imagining all kinds of retributions. All this leads nowhere because it is not focused on finding a solution, altering or transforming or changing the situation or yourself. It is past oriented, not future oriented. If the thinking that you’re doing
5. 03:09 is not has no bearing on reality now and is not future directed, if the answer to the question is neither and if you cannot switch off your cognitions, then you’re dealing with intrusive thoughts. The second test is ask yourself are the lessons that I’m trying to derive relevant to my life anymore. If they are, this is self analysis. This is helpful. This is the way forward. You need to become self-aware and self-conscious. You you need to introspect. You need to introspect. You need to soulsearch. This these are is not has no bearing on reality now and is not future directed, if the answer to the question is neither and if you cannot switch off your cognitions, then you’re dealing with intrusive thoughts. The second test is ask yourself are the lessons that I’m trying to derive relevant to my life anymore. If they are, this is self analysis. This is helpful. This is the way forward. You need to become self-aware and self-conscious. You you need to introspect. You need to introspect. You need to soulsearch. This these are
6. 03:53 healthy things. Actually psychotherapy is just one extended form of you know soul surgery. So if the outcomes of your thinking processes are relevant to your life and provide solutions and drive you forward that’s healthy. But if you’re engaged in a theoretical retro retrospective inapplicable exercise that’s rumination. If your recurrent unpleasant and unwanted thoughts have nothing to do with learning, nothing to do with behavior modification, nothing to do with the future, they’re healthy things. Actually psychotherapy is just one extended form of you know soul surgery. So if the outcomes of your thinking processes are relevant to your life and provide solutions and drive you forward that’s healthy. But if you’re engaged in a theoretical retro retrospective inapplicable exercise that’s rumination. If your recurrent unpleasant and unwanted thoughts have nothing to do with learning, nothing to do with behavior modification, nothing to do with the future, they’re
7. 04:35 obsessive, they’re intrusive. That’s rumination. These are two simple text tests. Let me recap. Self analysis is concerned with solutions. has a bearing on on your reality in the here and now and it’s future oriented. That’s test number one. Test number two, um self analysis is relevant to your life. Whereas rumination is no interaction, no meaningful interaction with your life. It’s highly theoretical. It’s often delusional and it’s retrospective. It deals with the past and it’s largely inapplicable obsessive, they’re intrusive. That’s rumination. These are two simple text tests. Let me recap. Self analysis is concerned with solutions. has a bearing on on your reality in the here and now and it’s future oriented. That’s test number one. Test number two, um self analysis is relevant to your life. Whereas rumination is no interaction, no meaningful interaction with your life. It’s highly theoretical. It’s often delusional and it’s retrospective. It deals with the past and it’s largely inapplicable
8. 05:21 because it doesn’t yield any formula or any recipe of action. Maybe this is the third test. Self analysis is actionoriented. It yields action. Whereas rumin rumination yields paralysis. because it doesn’t yield any formula or any recipe of action. Maybe this is the third test. Self analysis is actionoriented. It yields action. Whereas rumin rumination yields paralysis.