Tip: click a paragraph to jump to the exact moment in the video. Narcissism: Heredity, Overt-Covert Genders, Confabulation, and Elephants

1. 00:02 Today we are going to discuss elephants. Yes, the elephants in the room. Real elephants actually. Elephants, you know, Africa trunks, ivory, elephants. But we are going to relegate them to the very end of this video to force you to wade through the rest of it like elephants do in all kinds of riverbeds. So, my name is Sambakin. I’m the author of malignant self- loveve narcissism revisited and a professor of psychology and today we’re going to discuss various questions you’ve had. I will attempt to Today we are going to discuss elephants. Yes, the elephants in the room. Real elephants actually. Elephants, you know, Africa trunks, ivory, elephants. But we are going to relegate them to the very end of this video to force you to wade through the rest of it like elephants do in all kinds of riverbeds. So, my name is Sambakin. I’m the author of malignant self- loveve narcissism revisited and a professor of psychology and today we’re going to discuss various questions you’ve had. I will attempt to
2. 00:40 respond to them. The first question had to do with gender. Is it true that most narcissists are men? Well, in the 1980s when the third edition of the diagnostic and statistical manual was published had been published and then later on with the text revision fourth edition and the text revision of the fourth edition the prevailing wisdom was that 75% of people diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder are men. Today we know this to be untrue. The latest text revision edition of the fifth edition of respond to them. The first question had to do with gender. Is it true that most narcissists are men? Well, in the 1980s when the third edition of the diagnostic and statistical manual was published had been published and then later on with the text revision fourth edition and the text revision of the fourth edition the prevailing wisdom was that 75% of people diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder are men. Today we know this to be untrue. The latest text revision edition of the fifth edition of
3. 01:19 the diagnostic and statistical manual admits that 50% of people diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder may actually be women. Clinical experience tends to support it. Various studies report 40% being women, 60% being women, etc., etc. I think the problem is usually a problem of definition, application of diagnostic criteria, confusion with between traits and personality style and narcissism, confusion between D personalities and narcissism, subclinical narcissism and clinical narcissism, etc., etc. There’s the diagnostic and statistical manual admits that 50% of people diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder may actually be women. Clinical experience tends to support it. Various studies report 40% being women, 60% being women, etc., etc. I think the problem is usually a problem of definition, application of diagnostic criteria, confusion with between traits and personality style and narcissism, confusion between D personalities and narcissism, subclinical narcissism and clinical narcissism, etc., etc. There’s
4. 01:56 a lot of mayhem and tumult in the field of personality disorders right now. And this leads to a lack of homogeneity and heterogeneity in um outcomes of treatment and in diagnosis. Generally speaking, half of all people diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder are women. However, there is a difference in the expression of the hereditary trait of narcissism and its pathological mutations in women and men. Most overt narcissists mistakenly called grandiose narcissists mistakenly because all narcissists are grandio overt and a lot of mayhem and tumult in the field of personality disorders right now. And this leads to a lack of homogeneity and heterogeneity in um outcomes of treatment and in diagnosis. Generally speaking, half of all people diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder are women. However, there is a difference in the expression of the hereditary trait of narcissism and its pathological mutations in women and men. Most overt narcissists mistakenly called grandiose narcissists mistakenly because all narcissists are grandio overt and
5. 02:41 covert. So all overt narcissists seem to be I mean most overt narcissists seem to be men. It would stand to reason that 75% 80% of overt narcissists in your face you know uh ostentatious arrogant narcissists um would stand to reason that they are men equally it would stand to reason that a majority of covert narcissists are women. I’m saying stand to reason because there are no conclusive studies to support anything I’ve just said. This is speculation based on anecdotes on contact with the population at large on covert. So all overt narcissists seem to be I mean most overt narcissists seem to be men. It would stand to reason that 75% 80% of overt narcissists in your face you know uh ostentatious arrogant narcissists um would stand to reason that they are men equally it would stand to reason that a majority of covert narcissists are women. I’m saying stand to reason because there are no conclusive studies to support anything I’ve just said. This is speculation based on anecdotes on contact with the population at large on
6. 03:23 forums posts in forums and social media etc etc but I wouldn’t be surprised if this is the outcome if this is the the consensus later on most overt narcissists are men most covert narcissists are women. Similarly, most overt border lines are women and most covert border lines um are men in my view. Um again, there’s been gender bias in the diagnosis of borderline personality disorders. There was a belief that women most border lines are women. That is expressly untrue. The division is equal. Half of all people forums posts in forums and social media etc etc but I wouldn’t be surprised if this is the outcome if this is the the consensus later on most overt narcissists are men most covert narcissists are women. Similarly, most overt border lines are women and most covert border lines um are men in my view. Um again, there’s been gender bias in the diagnosis of borderline personality disorders. There was a belief that women most border lines are women. That is expressly untrue. The division is equal. Half of all people
7. 04:03 with borderline personality disorder are men. However, the way the pathology expresses itself and manifests is heavily influenced by society and culture. Cultural norms and mores and conventions, societal expectations and dictates and demands determine how narcissistic personality disorder and how borderline personality disorder manifests differently in men and women. as men and women are subject to gender roles which are millennia old. Okay. Next question had to do with covert narcissism. Um what’s the difference between covert with borderline personality disorder are men. However, the way the pathology expresses itself and manifests is heavily influenced by society and culture. Cultural norms and mores and conventions, societal expectations and dictates and demands determine how narcissistic personality disorder and how borderline personality disorder manifests differently in men and women. as men and women are subject to gender roles which are millennia old. Okay. Next question had to do with covert narcissism. Um what’s the difference between covert
8. 04:46 narcissist and overt narcissist? It is very important to understand that all narcissists go through overt phases and covert phases. All narcissists, no exception, are sometimes overt and sometimes covert. It is, however, true that there is a dominant state and a recessive state, a reactive state. The dominant state could be overt and the reactive state could be covert. Reactive to what? reactive to a failure a recurrent failure to obtain narcissistic supply known as collapse. So what I’m trying to say is this when narcissist and overt narcissist? It is very important to understand that all narcissists go through overt phases and covert phases. All narcissists, no exception, are sometimes overt and sometimes covert. It is, however, true that there is a dominant state and a recessive state, a reactive state. The dominant state could be overt and the reactive state could be covert. Reactive to what? reactive to a failure a recurrent failure to obtain narcissistic supply known as collapse. So what I’m trying to say is this when
9. 05:34 we have an overt narcissist it’s someone it is someone who is habitually usually frequently an overt narcissist. But when this person fails to obtain narcissistic supply on a regular basis, this person becomes covert for a while. Similarly, a covert, vulnerable, fragile narcissist is someone who is covert most of the time unless circumstances in the environment conspire to render this covert narcissist an overt narcissist. for example, by sudden exposure to the media or suddenly attain celebrity or we have an overt narcissist it’s someone it is someone who is habitually usually frequently an overt narcissist. But when this person fails to obtain narcissistic supply on a regular basis, this person becomes covert for a while. Similarly, a covert, vulnerable, fragile narcissist is someone who is covert most of the time unless circumstances in the environment conspire to render this covert narcissist an overt narcissist. for example, by sudden exposure to the media or suddenly attain celebrity or
10. 06:21 fame. So all narcissists are both overt and covert at different stages of of their lives. But there is a dominant type. When you see a narcissist, you could say this narcissist is mostly overt or this narcissist is mostly covert and covert narcissism is simply another name to collapse narcissism to a state of collapse. The next question keeps recurring, keeps popping up um mainly because self-styled experts on YouTube with zero credentials in the field of personality disorders keep misleading people. Unfortunately, fame. So all narcissists are both overt and covert at different stages of of their lives. But there is a dominant type. When you see a narcissist, you could say this narcissist is mostly overt or this narcissist is mostly covert and covert narcissism is simply another name to collapse narcissism to a state of collapse. The next question keeps recurring, keeps popping up um mainly because self-styled experts on YouTube with zero credentials in the field of personality disorders keep misleading people. Unfortunately,
11. 07:04 there are several scholars who collude in this. And they collude in this either because they seek fame and celebrity, instant fame and celebrity, or because they’re not the brightest stars in the galaxy, the sharpest knives in the drawer, etc., etc. And this is the question of the hereditary or genetic component in pathological narcissism. Let me give you the headline. There is no rigorous evidence at this stage that pathological narcissism is hereditary. Mind you, I believe that there is a there are several scholars who collude in this. And they collude in this either because they seek fame and celebrity, instant fame and celebrity, or because they’re not the brightest stars in the galaxy, the sharpest knives in the drawer, etc., etc. And this is the question of the hereditary or genetic component in pathological narcissism. Let me give you the headline. There is no rigorous evidence at this stage that pathological narcissism is hereditary. Mind you, I believe that there is a
12. 07:42 strong genetic component in pathological narcissism. I am I actually believe that there is a hereditary component, but I’m a scientist. I’ve been trained as a scientist. I have a PhD in physics. In physics, we don’t speculate. We don’t say this stands to reason. In physics, we inspect the evidence. The psychology would do well to emulate physics. And the evidence is this. None. At this stage, there are no rigorous longitudinal randomized studies that demonstrate a hereditary contribution to the emergence strong genetic component in pathological narcissism. I am I actually believe that there is a hereditary component, but I’m a scientist. I’ve been trained as a scientist. I have a PhD in physics. In physics, we don’t speculate. We don’t say this stands to reason. In physics, we inspect the evidence. The psychology would do well to emulate physics. And the evidence is this. None. At this stage, there are no rigorous longitudinal randomized studies that demonstrate a hereditary contribution to the emergence
13. 08:23 of pathological narcissism in life, in early childhood, in adolescence. None. Although it tends to reason it’s very likely that there is such a component, but that is speculation. Now the claims of these self-styled experts and mis misled or misguided scholars is that heredity in narcissism is easily proven and they usually use three types of arguments. Argument number one twin studies. If we observe twins, one of them becomes narcissist, the other doesn’t. And that’s proof of a genetic involvement. of pathological narcissism in life, in early childhood, in adolescence. None. Although it tends to reason it’s very likely that there is such a component, but that is speculation. Now the claims of these self-styled experts and mis misled or misguided scholars is that heredity in narcissism is easily proven and they usually use three types of arguments. Argument number one twin studies. If we observe twins, one of them becomes narcissist, the other doesn’t. And that’s proof of a genetic involvement.
14. 09:12 But of course, it’s proof of exactly the opposite because twins share identical DNA, usually almost identical in the case of fraternal twins, definitely identical in the case of identical twins because they share the bulk of their DNA. The fact that one of them becomes a narcissist and the other doesn’t is proof that it is the environment that determines pathological narcissism, not the genetics. Because had the genetics been the determinant, both twins would have become narcissist or both twins would have not become But of course, it’s proof of exactly the opposite because twins share identical DNA, usually almost identical in the case of fraternal twins, definitely identical in the case of identical twins because they share the bulk of their DNA. The fact that one of them becomes a narcissist and the other doesn’t is proof that it is the environment that determines pathological narcissism, not the genetics. Because had the genetics been the determinant, both twins would have become narcissist or both twins would have not become
15. 09:53 narcissist because they share the same DNA. So twin studies actually support the notion that pathological narcissism is brought on by environmental stress and distress by adversity in the environment. There are many forms of adversity. I’m not going into it. But the environment should be should be in order for pathological narism to emerge the environment should be somehow dysfunctional. That is not to say that there is no hereditary component in any of this. For example, the trait of narcissism or the narcissist because they share the same DNA. So twin studies actually support the notion that pathological narcissism is brought on by environmental stress and distress by adversity in the environment. There are many forms of adversity. I’m not going into it. But the environment should be should be in order for pathological narism to emerge the environment should be somehow dysfunctional. That is not to say that there is no hereditary component in any of this. For example, the trait of narcissism or the
16. 10:33 cluster of traits that constitute narcissism is hereditary. Traits are hereditary. Each and every one of us has a narcissism trait which is hereditary. However, this is healthy narcissism. For the trait of narcissism to become pathized, the trait must be exposed to a dysfunctional upbringing, dysfunctional household, dysfunctional family dynamics. In other words, it’s an interaction between a template, a hereditary narcissism gene or genes and an environment which is not conducive to healthy personal growth and cluster of traits that constitute narcissism is hereditary. Traits are hereditary. Each and every one of us has a narcissism trait which is hereditary. However, this is healthy narcissism. For the trait of narcissism to become pathized, the trait must be exposed to a dysfunctional upbringing, dysfunctional household, dysfunctional family dynamics. In other words, it’s an interaction between a template, a hereditary narcissism gene or genes and an environment which is not conducive to healthy personal growth and
17. 11:20 development. an environment which which thwarts and disrupts the emergence of a fully functional full-fledged self. And then we have pathological narcissism. There is 150 years of documented evidence that in the personal background of all narcissists, bar none, there is some type of wrong parenting. Wrong parenting can take many forms and many guises and many disguises. Smothering the child, pampering the child, spoiling the child, overprotecting the child is a form of abuse. I don’t know. Parentifying the development. an environment which which thwarts and disrupts the emergence of a fully functional full-fledged self. And then we have pathological narcissism. There is 150 years of documented evidence that in the personal background of all narcissists, bar none, there is some type of wrong parenting. Wrong parenting can take many forms and many guises and many disguises. Smothering the child, pampering the child, spoiling the child, overprotecting the child is a form of abuse. I don’t know. Parentifying the
18. 11:58 child, instrumentalizing the child. There are numerous ways to get it wrong. Raising a child is a finetuning task. It requires delicacy and subtlety and many parents fail. In all the personal backgrounds, in the personal backgrounds of all narcissists, we find such failure. They narcissists like non-narcissists possess a hereditary nar narcissism trait. However, it is deformed, mutated and has gone arry owing to exposure to adversity. The second type of argument is that in families which contain one narcissist, child, instrumentalizing the child. There are numerous ways to get it wrong. Raising a child is a finetuning task. It requires delicacy and subtlety and many parents fail. In all the personal backgrounds, in the personal backgrounds of all narcissists, we find such failure. They narcissists like non-narcissists possess a hereditary nar narcissism trait. However, it is deformed, mutated and has gone arry owing to exposure to adversity. The second type of argument is that in families which contain one narcissist,
19. 12:41 especially a narcissistic parent, the likelihood of finding another narcissist is much higher. So the argument goes in parents with a narcissistic mother or a narcissistic father, the likelihood of finding a narcissistic child is much higher. And that proves that it is genetically transmitted. This is probably one of the dumbest, most idiotic arguments I’ve ever heard in my life, bar none. Of course, if you grow up with a narcissistic mother or a narcissistic father, you are much more likely to become a narcissist. And this especially a narcissistic parent, the likelihood of finding another narcissist is much higher. So the argument goes in parents with a narcissistic mother or a narcissistic father, the likelihood of finding a narcissistic child is much higher. And that proves that it is genetically transmitted. This is probably one of the dumbest, most idiotic arguments I’ve ever heard in my life, bar none. Of course, if you grow up with a narcissistic mother or a narcissistic father, you are much more likely to become a narcissist. And this
20. 13:19 has nothing to do zilch with genetics. It has to do with the fact that narcissistic mothers and narcissistic fathers by definition provide a dysfunctional dynamic of family provide a dysfunctional household create an environment which induces maladaptation. In other words, if you have a narcissistic mother or a narcissistic father and you become a narcissist, it’s not because they gave you some gene. It’s because they brought you up the wrong way. It’s because they did not allow you to become. It’s because they has nothing to do zilch with genetics. It has to do with the fact that narcissistic mothers and narcissistic fathers by definition provide a dysfunctional dynamic of family provide a dysfunctional household create an environment which induces maladaptation. In other words, if you have a narcissistic mother or a narcissistic father and you become a narcissist, it’s not because they gave you some gene. It’s because they brought you up the wrong way. It’s because they did not allow you to become. It’s because they
21. 13:54 abused you, because they traumatized you, it’s because they they invaded on you, because they dominated because they did something wrong to you. To say that because there are children with narcissism in families where the parents are narcissist, this proves a genetic transmission is simply so stupid that I have no idea how these people obtained their academic degrees. And I’m talking for example about recent interviews granted to the New York Times. I mean this is absolutely shocking such an argument. I abused you, because they traumatized you, it’s because they they invaded on you, because they dominated because they did something wrong to you. To say that because there are children with narcissism in families where the parents are narcissist, this proves a genetic transmission is simply so stupid that I have no idea how these people obtained their academic degrees. And I’m talking for example about recent interviews granted to the New York Times. I mean this is absolutely shocking such an argument. I
22. 14:29 would fail my firstear students had they made such an argument. The third type of argument seems on on the face of it to be very very convincing. It goes as follows. Some children turn out to be narcissistic while other children do not turn out to be narcissistic despite the fact that all these children have been exposed to an the exact same environment. So we have an identical environment. It’s a kind of a controlled environment and within this identical environment some children become narcissists and would fail my firstear students had they made such an argument. The third type of argument seems on on the face of it to be very very convincing. It goes as follows. Some children turn out to be narcissistic while other children do not turn out to be narcissistic despite the fact that all these children have been exposed to an the exact same environment. So we have an identical environment. It’s a kind of a controlled environment and within this identical environment some children become narcissists and
23. 15:06 others don’t. And that proves that the children who became narcissists are genetically different to the children who did not become narcissists. And this sounds very very convincing until you take into account the fact that there could be a zillion or bazillion other reasons. A genetic explanation is one of them. I can provide off the top of my head another 10,000 reasons which are equally compelling and equally convincing. Moreover, there is a possibility that some third overarching factor determines both both others don’t. And that proves that the children who became narcissists are genetically different to the children who did not become narcissists. And this sounds very very convincing until you take into account the fact that there could be a zillion or bazillion other reasons. A genetic explanation is one of them. I can provide off the top of my head another 10,000 reasons which are equally compelling and equally convincing. Moreover, there is a possibility that some third overarching factor determines both both
24. 15:52 the environment and the child and the development of the child. So it’s a very non illogic it’s a it’s a logical fallacy. It’s a very non-rigorous argument. Consider for example children in the same family. You have five siblings. Okay? And let’s say that they are one year apart. So they’re not too removed from each other age- wise. They almost belong to the same peer group. So we have five siblings and only and these five siblings are raised by the same parents more or less within five years. the environment and the child and the development of the child. So it’s a very non illogic it’s a it’s a logical fallacy. It’s a very non-rigorous argument. Consider for example children in the same family. You have five siblings. Okay? And let’s say that they are one year apart. So they’re not too removed from each other age- wise. They almost belong to the same peer group. So we have five siblings and only and these five siblings are raised by the same parents more or less within five years.
25. 16:30 They’re exposed to the same environment, same expectations, same demands, same rules, same discipline, same everything. And yet only one of them becomes a narcissist. Isn’t this proof positive of a hereditary component? No, absolutely not. Because we don’t know. Maybe for example the mother became an alcoholic when the fifth child was born when during the gestation of the fifth child and that led to some kind of brain damage which later translated into narcissism. Maybe the economic and social They’re exposed to the same environment, same expectations, same demands, same rules, same discipline, same everything. And yet only one of them becomes a narcissist. Isn’t this proof positive of a hereditary component? No, absolutely not. Because we don’t know. Maybe for example the mother became an alcoholic when the fifth child was born when during the gestation of the fifth child and that led to some kind of brain damage which later translated into narcissism. Maybe the economic and social
26. 17:08 circumstances of the family have changed. Maybe the impact of siblings is to be is to be considered. The older siblings has to be considered. uh or on the or the exact opposite. Maybe the fact that the the narcissistic child was born first has to be considered. Maybe and maybe and maybe I can give you another 20,000 reasons. Genetics, heredit heredity is one of them, but only one of them. And we don’t know. We have to investigate this particular family in depth. And only then can we determine why one of the circumstances of the family have changed. Maybe the impact of siblings is to be is to be considered. The older siblings has to be considered. uh or on the or the exact opposite. Maybe the fact that the the narcissistic child was born first has to be considered. Maybe and maybe and maybe I can give you another 20,000 reasons. Genetics, heredit heredity is one of them, but only one of them. And we don’t know. We have to investigate this particular family in depth. And only then can we determine why one of the
27. 17:46 children had become become a narcissist while the others haven’t. We may find out that there’s a a difference in genetics, but we may also find out and and and I must say I think it’s much more likely that there has been a change in circumstances that the environment has changed. And so this is not a convincing an argument as it sounds. A kind of close cousin of these of these arguments is that um there are brain abnormalities in people diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder. children had become become a narcissist while the others haven’t. We may find out that there’s a a difference in genetics, but we may also find out and and and I must say I think it’s much more likely that there has been a change in circumstances that the environment has changed. And so this is not a convincing an argument as it sounds. A kind of close cousin of these of these arguments is that um there are brain abnormalities in people diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder.
28. 18:24 Let’s start with the first counterargument. This has not been proven. There are no studies that support this assertion or this claim. Period. None. There are studies of course that try to connect NPD, narcissistic personality disorder to some brain structures, some brain dynamics, some flows in the brain and alleged or ostensible or perceived abnormalities in the brain and so on. But they are not rigorous, they are not comprehensive, they are not randomized, they are not controlled. These studies Let’s start with the first counterargument. This has not been proven. There are no studies that support this assertion or this claim. Period. None. There are studies of course that try to connect NPD, narcissistic personality disorder to some brain structures, some brain dynamics, some flows in the brain and alleged or ostensible or perceived abnormalities in the brain and so on. But they are not rigorous, they are not comprehensive, they are not randomized, they are not controlled. These studies
29. 18:57 are not serious and no one takes them seriously. We do not teach at university that people with narcissistic personality disorder have brain abnormalities. We do teach at university that people with psychopathy have brain abnormalities because this has been established beyond doubt. So, and that’s only one part of the problem. The other part of the problem is that we have no way of ascertaining or proving which is the chicken and which is the egg. Did a did did path lifelong pathological narcissism did it are not serious and no one takes them seriously. We do not teach at university that people with narcissistic personality disorder have brain abnormalities. We do teach at university that people with psychopathy have brain abnormalities because this has been established beyond doubt. So, and that’s only one part of the problem. The other part of the problem is that we have no way of ascertaining or proving which is the chicken and which is the egg. Did a did did path lifelong pathological narcissism did it
30. 19:35 change the brain or was it a child who was born with an abnormal brain and inevitably ineluctibly became a narcissist? What came first? Because the brain is highly plastic. Could it be that the child the child’s adverse childhood experiences the bad upbringing the peer pressure and rejection the I don’t know bad experiences of the child have led the child to develop a false self become a narcissist and that caused changes in the brain rewired the brain or was the child born with a defective change the brain or was it a child who was born with an abnormal brain and inevitably ineluctibly became a narcissist? What came first? Because the brain is highly plastic. Could it be that the child the child’s adverse childhood experiences the bad upbringing the peer pressure and rejection the I don’t know bad experiences of the child have led the child to develop a false self become a narcissist and that caused changes in the brain rewired the brain or was the child born with a defective
31. 20:16 brain to start with we simply don’t know. There are no studies that respond to this question, tackle this question or study this question. None. Not even one. Zero. So there’s a lot of hubris and arrogance and and megalomania and grandiosity in neuroscience. And many self-styled, self-enriching experts um you know claim expertise which they do not possess and expose you to this campaign of extreme misinformation. It sits well with the belief that narcissists are evil to start with. They’re demonic and therefore they’re brain to start with we simply don’t know. There are no studies that respond to this question, tackle this question or study this question. None. Not even one. Zero. So there’s a lot of hubris and arrogance and and megalomania and grandiosity in neuroscience. And many self-styled, self-enriching experts um you know claim expertise which they do not possess and expose you to this campaign of extreme misinformation. It sits well with the belief that narcissists are evil to start with. They’re demonic and therefore they’re
32. 21:01 born this way. It sits well with the morality play. We are all good. Narcissists are all dead. The next question had to do with confabulation. And people ask me, what’s the difference between confabulation and gaslighting? Let me be clear. When you experience the narcissist confabulation, your experience is indistinguishable from gaslighting. In other words, the subjective experience of the victim or the intimate partner or the prey or the listener, the subjective experience of anyone exposed to the born this way. It sits well with the morality play. We are all good. Narcissists are all dead. The next question had to do with confabulation. And people ask me, what’s the difference between confabulation and gaslighting? Let me be clear. When you experience the narcissist confabulation, your experience is indistinguishable from gaslighting. In other words, the subjective experience of the victim or the intimate partner or the prey or the listener, the subjective experience of anyone exposed to the
33. 21:43 narcissist confabulation is identical to the subjective experience of someone who is exposed to gaslighting by for example a psychopath. There’s no difference. So the difference is in the why. Why does the narcissist confabulate? And because the narcissist confabulates for reasons which are dramatically different to the reasons of the psychopath, we say that the psychopath gaslights intentionally premeditatively. It’s a goal oriented activity. So the psychopath gaslights as a manipulative machavelian tactic whereas narcissist confabulation is identical to the subjective experience of someone who is exposed to gaslighting by for example a psychopath. There’s no difference. So the difference is in the why. Why does the narcissist confabulate? And because the narcissist confabulates for reasons which are dramatically different to the reasons of the psychopath, we say that the psychopath gaslights intentionally premeditatively. It’s a goal oriented activity. So the psychopath gaslights as a manipulative machavelian tactic whereas
34. 22:24 the narcissist confabulates. It doesn’t matter to you as the unfortunate recipient of these misbehaviors because they are indistinguishable. But it does matter when we discuss the psychology and psychoynamics of mental health issues. Confabulation in narcissism is intended to support the narcissist grandio self-concept on the one hand and to bridge memory gaps. Narcissists are highly dissociative. They’re forgetful. They experience micro amnesia time and again, some hundreds, dozens of times a day. the narcissist confabulates. It doesn’t matter to you as the unfortunate recipient of these misbehaviors because they are indistinguishable. But it does matter when we discuss the psychology and psychoynamics of mental health issues. Confabulation in narcissism is intended to support the narcissist grandio self-concept on the one hand and to bridge memory gaps. Narcissists are highly dissociative. They’re forgetful. They experience micro amnesia time and again, some hundreds, dozens of times a day.
35. 23:05 They need to bridge these gaps, the lost time. They need to recoup or regain the lost time. And they do it by inventing plausible and probable narratives. And then they come to believe these narratives. At the same time, narcissists also contribulate in order to butress somehow to prove um grandio inflated fantastic self-concept. Narcissists do not lie more than usual. They do not gaslight. They confabulate in order to accomplish these goals. Self-enhancement and bridging memory gaps. in order to They need to bridge these gaps, the lost time. They need to recoup or regain the lost time. And they do it by inventing plausible and probable narratives. And then they come to believe these narratives. At the same time, narcissists also contribulate in order to butress somehow to prove um grandio inflated fantastic self-concept. Narcissists do not lie more than usual. They do not gaslight. They confabulate in order to accomplish these goals. Self-enhancement and bridging memory gaps. in order to
36. 23:46 somehow survive in a way which would be subjectively perceived as continuous. This is erat’s self. It’s a substitute to the self. They don’t have a self. So they don’t have a sense of continuity. Confabulation allows them to experience this continuity and then they come to believe their own delusional stories, their own own delusional confabulations and narratives. They regard them as reality and they become very defensive and aggressive when their confabulations are challenged or exposed. somehow survive in a way which would be subjectively perceived as continuous. This is erat’s self. It’s a substitute to the self. They don’t have a self. So they don’t have a sense of continuity. Confabulation allows them to experience this continuity and then they come to believe their own delusional stories, their own own delusional confabulations and narratives. They regard them as reality and they become very defensive and aggressive when their confabulations are challenged or exposed.
37. 24:19 And as promised when we were all much younger, the elephants, I’ve recently granted an interview to Moren Callahan of the nerve and we were discussing parasite um um the killing of parents, the assassination of parents. And um I mentioned there that this is very common in the animal kingdom. I mentioned a few animals among amongst them elephants and Moren said justly but elephants are you know cutiepie they are so social they grieve and mourn when one of them dies they are led by a matriarch and and And as promised when we were all much younger, the elephants, I’ve recently granted an interview to Moren Callahan of the nerve and we were discussing parasite um um the killing of parents, the assassination of parents. And um I mentioned there that this is very common in the animal kingdom. I mentioned a few animals among amongst them elephants and Moren said justly but elephants are you know cutiepie they are so social they grieve and mourn when one of them dies they are led by a matriarch and and
38. 25:00 so on so forth and moren reflected the current state of of knowledge and the current beliefs about elephants bucket more generally and So she represented the enlightened educated view of of elephants. She did not display ignorance. On the contrary, she was actually quoting studies and so on that supported this. However, the study of elephants is a prime example of how ideology impacts knowledge. How woke ideology and walk beliefs and walk you know constraints affected even zoolology even ethology even the so on so forth and moren reflected the current state of of knowledge and the current beliefs about elephants bucket more generally and So she represented the enlightened educated view of of elephants. She did not display ignorance. On the contrary, she was actually quoting studies and so on that supported this. However, the study of elephants is a prime example of how ideology impacts knowledge. How woke ideology and walk beliefs and walk you know constraints affected even zoolology even ethology even the
39. 25:50 study of animals. Walk ethologies and feminist ethologists and ecologists created this endearing image of the elephant as cooperative a cooperative species led by a matriarch led by a female and they generated this antiatriarchal an anti-atriarchy view of elephants. Elephants became the token, the totem and the symbol of feminism in ethology and zoolology because elephant herds are indeed led by mothers, by matriarchs and the depiction is largely true. I’m not disputing it. It’s largely true. study of animals. Walk ethologies and feminist ethologists and ecologists created this endearing image of the elephant as cooperative a cooperative species led by a matriarch led by a female and they generated this antiatriarchal an anti-atriarchy view of elephants. Elephants became the token, the totem and the symbol of feminism in ethology and zoolology because elephant herds are indeed led by mothers, by matriarchs and the depiction is largely true. I’m not disputing it. It’s largely true.
40. 26:39 Ideological cues and biases aside, there is a fact that elephant herds are led by females, senior females known as matriarchs, essentially the mothers. But this is true most of the time. This is not true all of the time. And this is not true in the most crucial moments of the life of the herd, the life of the collective. In conditions of scarcity, for example, elephants go violent. They go berserk like any other animal, like humans. The old fight the young. The young fight the old to the death. Ideological cues and biases aside, there is a fact that elephant herds are led by females, senior females known as matriarchs, essentially the mothers. But this is true most of the time. This is not true all of the time. And this is not true in the most crucial moments of the life of the herd, the life of the collective. In conditions of scarcity, for example, elephants go violent. They go berserk like any other animal, like humans. The old fight the young. The young fight the old to the death.
41. 27:29 Moreover, in certain phases of the cycle of the herd, the life cycle of the herd, the uh bachelors, young males are expelled from the herd pretty violently and aggressively by the matriarch and the females. There is gender war going on all the time, constantly within elephant herds and there is a lot of young versus old dynamic expressed physically violently. Elephants are violent. You ask anyone who has been exposed to the company of elephants or has observed elephants for example in India or in Moreover, in certain phases of the cycle of the herd, the life cycle of the herd, the uh bachelors, young males are expelled from the herd pretty violently and aggressively by the matriarch and the females. There is gender war going on all the time, constantly within elephant herds and there is a lot of young versus old dynamic expressed physically violently. Elephants are violent. You ask anyone who has been exposed to the company of elephants or has observed elephants for example in India or in
42. 28:15 Africa where I have lived for four years and I can tell you elephants are very violent. They’re very aggressive. They’re not peaceful. They’re absolutely not peaceful. And no, there is no inner peace within the herd. It’s a it’s it’s a conflictbased society and it’s women against it’s females against males. It’s young against old. It’s constant war going on. It’s a battle zone. It’s a war zone. Violence is especially common among males. Males of different generations Africa where I have lived for four years and I can tell you elephants are very violent. They’re very aggressive. They’re not peaceful. They’re absolutely not peaceful. And no, there is no inner peace within the herd. It’s a it’s it’s a conflictbased society and it’s women against it’s females against males. It’s young against old. It’s constant war going on. It’s a battle zone. It’s a war zone. Violence is especially common among males. Males of different generations
43. 28:48 within the herd. And this sometimes ends badly. In the description, I’m placing a link to study of elephants which you may wish to to read. Lethal conflicts are especially common with young traumatized male elephants in mass and this is again very similar to you to humans. Elephants are not the only species species to be idealized and eulogized by feminists and walk ethologies. This is not the only species. Another species which is very violent is cows. Anyone who raises cows, anyone who works within the herd. And this sometimes ends badly. In the description, I’m placing a link to study of elephants which you may wish to to read. Lethal conflicts are especially common with young traumatized male elephants in mass and this is again very similar to you to humans. Elephants are not the only species species to be idealized and eulogized by feminists and walk ethologies. This is not the only species. Another species which is very violent is cows. Anyone who raises cows, anyone who works
44. 29:31 with cows knows how violent they can be, usually abruptly and dangerously. The dosile cow, the lovely cow, which with its human eyes is actually one of the most violent animals there are. Ask any farmer, any cattle farmer, what would happen if he or she were to approach a cow head on? How would the cow respond? Or if you milk the cow the wrong way. Uh nature is read in tooth and claw. Anyone who tells you otherwise has an ideology, has a bias, has a prejudice, has an agenda. Anyone who tells you with cows knows how violent they can be, usually abruptly and dangerously. The dosile cow, the lovely cow, which with its human eyes is actually one of the most violent animals there are. Ask any farmer, any cattle farmer, what would happen if he or she were to approach a cow head on? How would the cow respond? Or if you milk the cow the wrong way. Uh nature is read in tooth and claw. Anyone who tells you otherwise has an ideology, has a bias, has a prejudice, has an agenda. Anyone who tells you
45. 30:17 otherwise is not a scientist but a social engineer. Anyone who tells you that elephants are peaceful and humanlike because they are led by females is a feminist not a scientist. Anyone who tells you that cows are wonderful wonderful and dosile is a peace activist not a scientist not a farmer definitely. So take everything with a grain of salt or in this particular case a mountain of salt. otherwise is not a scientist but a social engineer. Anyone who tells you that elephants are peaceful and humanlike because they are led by females is a feminist not a scientist. Anyone who tells you that cows are wonderful wonderful and dosile is a peace activist not a scientist not a farmer definitely. So take everything with a grain of salt or in this particular case a mountain of salt.