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1. 00:00 the body part which we have just covered. There’s a mind and their functions. So now we are transitioning from the body to the mind elements. Each one has three three body elements, three mind elements and three functions and put together it’s nine. So hence the ninefold path. Okay, we now need to move to the mind. I think the key feature with victims of narcissistic abuse is to no longer regard themselves as victims. I mentioned it yesterday. You have been victimized. You have experienced an instance of victimhood the body part which we have just covered. There’s a mind and their functions. So now we are transitioning from the body to the mind elements. Each one has three three body elements, three mind elements and three functions and put together it’s nine. So hence the ninefold path. Okay, we now need to move to the mind. I think the key feature with victims of narcissistic abuse is to no longer regard themselves as victims. I mentioned it yesterday. You have been victimized. You have experienced an instance of victimhood
2. 00:41 that doesn’t make you victims. Um so victim to be a victim is an identity. Actually in the year 2020 there were four seinal studies published by Israelis. I must make a must make a pose here. Much welcomed by you I assume and tell you that amazingly all the words that have to do with empathy and compassion and loving and caring and so on were invented by Germans. I’m kidding you not. Like take the word empathy. The original word in in German isin that means feeling together or and this was translated into English in in the that doesn’t make you victims. Um so victim to be a victim is an identity. Actually in the year 2020 there were four seinal studies published by Israelis. I must make a must make a pose here. Much welcomed by you I assume and tell you that amazingly all the words that have to do with empathy and compassion and loving and caring and so on were invented by Germans. I’m kidding you not. Like take the word empathy. The original word in in German isin that means feeling together or and this was translated into English in in the
3. 01:31 late 19th century as empathy. Germans invented empathy which would come as a surprise to quite a few people. Similarly, Israelis are actually at the forefront of studying victimhood. And in 2020, Israelis, a group of Israelis, they published four studies which are now considered foundational studies in the study of the self-imputed victimhood. And these um these were Gabby, Gabby and Hameiri. And they published four studies and they suggested they came up with the idea with a personality construct. And they late 19th century as empathy. Germans invented empathy which would come as a surprise to quite a few people. Similarly, Israelis are actually at the forefront of studying victimhood. And in 2020, Israelis, a group of Israelis, they published four studies which are now considered foundational studies in the study of the self-imputed victimhood. And these um these were Gabby, Gabby and Hameiri. And they published four studies and they suggested they came up with the idea with a personality construct. And they
4. 02:13 called it the tendency for interpersonal victimhood, the tiv construct, tendency for interpersonal victimhood. And they suggested that there are people um there are people who constantly feel that they are being victimized constantly feel as victims and victimhood is in this the lives of the pe these people. Victimhood victimhood is generalized across all kinds of relationships and all dimensions of functioning all settings or realms of functioning. So these people would be victims in their interpersonal called it the tendency for interpersonal victimhood, the tiv construct, tendency for interpersonal victimhood. And they suggested that there are people um there are people who constantly feel that they are being victimized constantly feel as victims and victimhood is in this the lives of the pe these people. Victimhood victimhood is generalized across all kinds of relationships and all dimensions of functioning all settings or realms of functioning. So these people would be victims in their interpersonal
5. 02:52 relationships. These people would be victims at the workplace. They would be victims of the government. They would be victims of the army. They would be victims of I mean you name it. They’re always victims. The victimhood in their case is has has double double function. The first function is an organizing hermeneutic principle. The victimhood makes sense of their lives. when they’re trying to understand their lives. When they’re trying to interpret their lives, when they’re trying to make make their lives relationships. These people would be victims at the workplace. They would be victims of the government. They would be victims of the army. They would be victims of I mean you name it. They’re always victims. The victimhood in their case is has has double double function. The first function is an organizing hermeneutic principle. The victimhood makes sense of their lives. when they’re trying to understand their lives. When they’re trying to interpret their lives, when they’re trying to make make their lives
6. 03:21 meaningful, victimhood explains everything like why did this happen to me? Because I’m a victim. Why did I do this? Because I’ve been a victim. Why? Why? You know why? The answer to the question why is I’m a victim. This is one function. And the second function is known as competitive victimhood or victimhood signaling. It’s when by virtue of declaring yourself a victim, you feel entitled to special treatment and to rights that impose obligations on other people. When you’re a victim, you’re entitled. you meaningful, victimhood explains everything like why did this happen to me? Because I’m a victim. Why did I do this? Because I’ve been a victim. Why? Why? You know why? The answer to the question why is I’m a victim. This is one function. And the second function is known as competitive victimhood or victimhood signaling. It’s when by virtue of declaring yourself a victim, you feel entitled to special treatment and to rights that impose obligations on other people. When you’re a victim, you’re entitled. you
7. 04:01 deserve to be treated specially and other people have the obligation to treat you that way. So it’s a form of entitlement. Amy and and Gabay linked in effect victimhood to narcissism. Victimhood is an identity not having been victimized but becoming a professional full-fledged allround victim. Other studies in British Columbia, in Taiwan, and so on so forth have demonstrated that victimhood movements, yes, me too, Black Lives Matter, white supremacism, victimhood movements, right and left, who have been infiltrated by deserve to be treated specially and other people have the obligation to treat you that way. So it’s a form of entitlement. Amy and and Gabay linked in effect victimhood to narcissism. Victimhood is an identity not having been victimized but becoming a professional full-fledged allround victim. Other studies in British Columbia, in Taiwan, and so on so forth have demonstrated that victimhood movements, yes, me too, Black Lives Matter, white supremacism, victimhood movements, right and left, who have been infiltrated by
8. 04:44 narcissists and psychopaths who are posing as victims. They signal victimhood. Virtue signaling is one type of victimhood signaling. They signal victimhood and they derive benefits. They compete for victimhood with other wannabe victims. Competitive victimhood and they derive benefits. So victimhood has become an industry in effect. I want to read to you something about victim victimhood that has been written by a scholar that I highly appreciate. Some vaccin what? I cannot appreciate myself. It’s narcissists and psychopaths who are posing as victims. They signal victimhood. Virtue signaling is one type of victimhood signaling. They signal victimhood and they derive benefits. They compete for victimhood with other wannabe victims. Competitive victimhood and they derive benefits. So victimhood has become an industry in effect. I want to read to you something about victim victimhood that has been written by a scholar that I highly appreciate. Some vaccin what? I cannot appreciate myself. It’s
9. 05:28 illegitimate. What? I’m not bragging. It’s a fact. Okay. Okay. Don’t jump at my throat. I would like to read to you something I’ve written about victimhood and then we proceed to the mind the mind part of the ninefold zen Okay. Now victims of prolonged abuse often introject. They internalize and identify with their abusers. They identify with the aggressor. Now that’s not some vaknin. That is ferancy. Ferency suggested that victims of abuse identify with the aggressor. Identify illegitimate. What? I’m not bragging. It’s a fact. Okay. Okay. Don’t jump at my throat. I would like to read to you something I’ve written about victimhood and then we proceed to the mind the mind part of the ninefold zen Okay. Now victims of prolonged abuse often introject. They internalize and identify with their abusers. They identify with the aggressor. Now that’s not some vaknin. That is ferancy. Ferency suggested that victims of abuse identify with the aggressor. Identify
10. 06:12 with the abuser. And he said that’s the way they become more narcissistic and more psychopathic. That’s the vector of contagion. Actually, victims of abuse say, “I am never going to be a victim again. From now on, I do the victimizing.” End of story. So, they become abusers themselves. And they convert this uh introjection this introjects of the abuser. They convert the internalized abuser into permanent persecuto objects. Henceforth, victims trauma bond with their inner tormenting voice even when the original with the abuser. And he said that’s the way they become more narcissistic and more psychopathic. That’s the vector of contagion. Actually, victims of abuse say, “I am never going to be a victim again. From now on, I do the victimizing.” End of story. So, they become abusers themselves. And they convert this uh introjection this introjects of the abuser. They convert the internalized abuser into permanent persecuto objects. Henceforth, victims trauma bond with their inner tormenting voice even when the original
11. 06:51 bully is long out of their lives. I want to explain what I what I meant here. The victim of abuse internalizes the voice of the abuser. Narcissists actually use a mechanism known as entrainment. 12 years ago, neuroscientists discovered that the brains of musicians playing in the same rock band synchronize to the point that there is no way to tell the difference between the brains of the various musicians using using an EEG. So what happened is there was a rock band and the rock band had a drummer and a bully is long out of their lives. I want to explain what I what I meant here. The victim of abuse internalizes the voice of the abuser. Narcissists actually use a mechanism known as entrainment. 12 years ago, neuroscientists discovered that the brains of musicians playing in the same rock band synchronize to the point that there is no way to tell the difference between the brains of the various musicians using using an EEG. So what happened is there was a rock band and the rock band had a drummer and a
12. 07:34 bass basist and a you know and they attached EEG electrodes to all of them and then they began to play a piece. As they were playing a piece the brains synchronized to the point that we they the the scientists the experimenters were unable to tell the differences between the various brains. They all looked identical. This became known as entrainment. Today we know that any rhythmical rhythmical repetition of sound creates a synchronization of brain waves between the emitter of the sound and the bass basist and a you know and they attached EEG electrodes to all of them and then they began to play a piece. As they were playing a piece the brains synchronized to the point that we they the the scientists the experimenters were unable to tell the differences between the various brains. They all looked identical. This became known as entrainment. Today we know that any rhythmical rhythmical repetition of sound creates a synchronization of brain waves between the emitter of the sound and the
13. 08:13 recipient of the sound, the listener. Now I suggested that narcissists use entrainment. So what they’re doing, they verbally abuse the victim. And the verbal abuse is often rigid, structured and repetitive very often. It’s like well documented. I suggest that this is some form of entrainment actually that there is a synchronization of brain waves taking place. Of course mantra a mantra accomplishes exactly this. Any type of music accomplishes this. By the way, entrainment is now widely documented as a reaction to any recipient of the sound, the listener. Now I suggested that narcissists use entrainment. So what they’re doing, they verbally abuse the victim. And the verbal abuse is often rigid, structured and repetitive very often. It’s like well documented. I suggest that this is some form of entrainment actually that there is a synchronization of brain waves taking place. Of course mantra a mantra accomplishes exactly this. Any type of music accomplishes this. By the way, entrainment is now widely documented as a reaction to any
14. 08:52 rhythmical repetitive sound which religion has been using for thousands of years. Prayer when you pray, it’s entrainment. I think the narcissist entrains victims, although this is not proven yet. It’s speculation. I think the narcissist entrains victims via verbal abuse. And so one of the things a narcissist does he installs he installs an introject. He installs in you an internal object. This introject encapsulates includes the narcissist’s voice. The narcissist’s voice is inside rhythmical repetitive sound which religion has been using for thousands of years. Prayer when you pray, it’s entrainment. I think the narcissist entrains victims, although this is not proven yet. It’s speculation. I think the narcissist entrains victims via verbal abuse. And so one of the things a narcissist does he installs he installs an introject. He installs in you an internal object. This introject encapsulates includes the narcissist’s voice. The narcissist’s voice is inside
15. 09:28 your head. This is normal by the way. We introject all the time. Introjection is a totally normal process. But the content of the narcissist introject is the content is deletterious. The content is uh reject rejecting self-rejecting. The content is harsh. The content is critical. It’s not the introjection itself that is unusual. It’s very common. But the introject contains a Trojan horse. When the introject is installed in the victim’s mind, it’s a negating introject. It’s an introjection your head. This is normal by the way. We introject all the time. Introjection is a totally normal process. But the content of the narcissist introject is the content is deletterious. The content is uh reject rejecting self-rejecting. The content is harsh. The content is critical. It’s not the introjection itself that is unusual. It’s very common. But the introject contains a Trojan horse. When the introject is installed in the victim’s mind, it’s a negating introject. It’s an introjection
16. 10:05 that wants to take the victim down, to destroy the victim, to tear the victim apart. Even worse, we know there’s a phenomenon called clustering in introjection. When you have a an introject with a message, this introject finds similar introjects with similar messages. So, if you have an introject that says you’re stupid, okay, here’s an introject. Narcissist puts an introject in your mind, you’re stupid. This introject will look for other introjects that say that you are stupid. that wants to take the victim down, to destroy the victim, to tear the victim apart. Even worse, we know there’s a phenomenon called clustering in introjection. When you have a an introject with a message, this introject finds similar introjects with similar messages. So, if you have an introject that says you’re stupid, okay, here’s an introject. Narcissist puts an introject in your mind, you’re stupid. This introject will look for other introjects that say that you are stupid.
17. 10:41 For example, your mother told you that you were stupid when you were young. So the introject of the narcissist that says that you are stupid will create a coalition with the introject of your mother that says that you are stupid and they will both attack you from inside. This process is known as clustering. introjection clustering. So the narcissist uses entrainment I believe that’s a speculation uses entrainment to synchronize brain waves which opens the way to the installation of a negative or negating introject For example, your mother told you that you were stupid when you were young. So the introject of the narcissist that says that you are stupid will create a coalition with the introject of your mother that says that you are stupid and they will both attack you from inside. This process is known as clustering. introjection clustering. So the narcissist uses entrainment I believe that’s a speculation uses entrainment to synchronize brain waves which opens the way to the installation of a negative or negating introject
18. 11:17 which then collaborates with other introjects and attacks you from within. When you identify with the aggressor as ferencey suggested then of course you are much more open to accept the aggressor’s introject to accept the abusers’s introject you’re much more open because you identify with the abuser this whole field of identification introjection internalization incorporation was first described in object relations theory in the early phases Melanie Klene and others they were the first to discuss these issues which then collaborates with other introjects and attacks you from within. When you identify with the aggressor as ferencey suggested then of course you are much more open to accept the aggressor’s introject to accept the abusers’s introject you’re much more open because you identify with the abuser this whole field of identification introjection internalization incorporation was first described in object relations theory in the early phases Melanie Klene and others they were the first to discuss these issues
19. 11:51 So by now it’s well documented and well researched and and so on. These are all classical modalities of relating to each other. There’s nothing new about in any of this. It’s just that the narcissist abuses this privilege of access to your mind. Abuses it and then colonizes you in effect. There’s identification with the aggressor colonizes you. There’s an abuser’s voice inside your mind and it does with you as it wishes. I’ll continue. Victimhood becomes a cozy comfort zone So by now it’s well documented and well researched and and so on. These are all classical modalities of relating to each other. There’s nothing new about in any of this. It’s just that the narcissist abuses this privilege of access to your mind. Abuses it and then colonizes you in effect. There’s identification with the aggressor colonizes you. There’s an abuser’s voice inside your mind and it does with you as it wishes. I’ll continue. Victimhood becomes a cozy comfort zone
20. 12:28 and the victim is emotionally invested in maintaining this comfort zone pristine and operational. It becomes a determinant of the victim’s identity. It helps the victim to regulate her emotions and amilarate her anxiety and mood liability. Professional victims tend to blame their childhood experiences for being eternal victims. Again, their victims this time of their parents. We must begin to accept that victimhood stance is actually narcissistic, grandiose, entitled, replete with aloplastic defenses, blaming other and the victim is emotionally invested in maintaining this comfort zone pristine and operational. It becomes a determinant of the victim’s identity. It helps the victim to regulate her emotions and amilarate her anxiety and mood liability. Professional victims tend to blame their childhood experiences for being eternal victims. Again, their victims this time of their parents. We must begin to accept that victimhood stance is actually narcissistic, grandiose, entitled, replete with aloplastic defenses, blaming other
21. 13:08 people, and involves a splitting defense. I am all good, everyone else is all bad. Perpetual victimhood serves four indispensable psychological needs. Number one, it restores a sense of agency and self-efficacy, and it reverts the locus of control from external to internal. Many victims garner attention and make money from their newly found profession. There’s a sense that if you’re a victim, you not only make sense of your life, but you regain power, you empower yourself, you regain agency, you regain self-efficacy. people, and involves a splitting defense. I am all good, everyone else is all bad. Perpetual victimhood serves four indispensable psychological needs. Number one, it restores a sense of agency and self-efficacy, and it reverts the locus of control from external to internal. Many victims garner attention and make money from their newly found profession. There’s a sense that if you’re a victim, you not only make sense of your life, but you regain power, you empower yourself, you regain agency, you regain self-efficacy.
22. 13:49 You by being a victim you are now in charge. You’re in control somehow. You can force people around you to behave in other way in different ways. You can manipulate people. You can claim certain rights. You can so many victimhood appeals to many disempowered disenfranchised people. Victimhood appeals to the weak. Victimhood appeals to people who have lost agency. Victimhood appeals to people who have been victimized. No one is denying this, of course, but it’s very tempting because the overriding effect, the You by being a victim you are now in charge. You’re in control somehow. You can force people around you to behave in other way in different ways. You can manipulate people. You can claim certain rights. You can so many victimhood appeals to many disempowered disenfranchised people. Victimhood appeals to the weak. Victimhood appeals to people who have lost agency. Victimhood appeals to people who have been victimized. No one is denying this, of course, but it’s very tempting because the overriding effect, the
23. 14:25 overriding emotion in having been victimized is the helplessness. You couldn’t help it. And it’s a terrible feeling. Even when you’re mugged, okay, you’re mugged in the street, you’re or you’re raped or it’s the the real damage is not necessarily the rape, not necessarily the your wallet, that you lost your wallet. The real damage is the helplessness that you couldn’t help yourself. I mean, you couldn’t help yourself in the sense that you couldn’t fend off the aggressor or overriding emotion in having been victimized is the helplessness. You couldn’t help it. And it’s a terrible feeling. Even when you’re mugged, okay, you’re mugged in the street, you’re or you’re raped or it’s the the real damage is not necessarily the rape, not necessarily the your wallet, that you lost your wallet. The real damage is the helplessness that you couldn’t help yourself. I mean, you couldn’t help yourself in the sense that you couldn’t fend off the aggressor or
24. 14:58 fend off the abuser. This helplessness is the core issue. And sometimes by declaring yourself a victim, by becoming by assuming victimhood identity, you regain a sense of of agency, you regain a sense of power. You you’re not helpless anymore. I am not helpless anymore. I know who I am. I have my rights. I demand them. I’m viferous. I’m vocal. I’m, you know, I’m I’m empowered. That’s why you see many victimhood movements which are which essentially emanate from position of victimization. fend off the abuser. This helplessness is the core issue. And sometimes by declaring yourself a victim, by becoming by assuming victimhood identity, you regain a sense of of agency, you regain a sense of power. You you’re not helpless anymore. I am not helpless anymore. I know who I am. I have my rights. I demand them. I’m viferous. I’m vocal. I’m, you know, I’m I’m empowered. That’s why you see many victimhood movements which are which essentially emanate from position of victimization.
25. 15:34 So for example me too it emanated from it came out of women who were raped and experienced extreme possibly the most extreme helplessness. And similarly blacks blacks who were violated by the police in a variety of ways. They established black lives matter. There is an attempt to render victimhood agentic, a form of agency in a fil. Number two, so we’re talking about the ways victimhood serves you, why people adopt victimhood identity. Number two, it makes sense of the victim’s personal So for example me too it emanated from it came out of women who were raped and experienced extreme possibly the most extreme helplessness. And similarly blacks blacks who were violated by the police in a variety of ways. They established black lives matter. There is an attempt to render victimhood agentic, a form of agency in a fil. Number two, so we’re talking about the ways victimhood serves you, why people adopt victimhood identity. Number two, it makes sense of the victim’s personal
26. 16:11 history and of the world around the victim, thereby rendering these meaningful structure, order, and even a sense of karmic justice are restored. Number three, victimhood legitimizes avoidant behaviors. The world out there is challenging and painful. Shunning the world guarantees tranquility and an inner peace of mind. So if you talk to a victim and say, “Why are you avoiding the world? Why are you withdrawing? Why are you not dating? Why are you not going out? Why are you not, you know, they say, “I’m a vict I’m a victim. I’m history and of the world around the victim, thereby rendering these meaningful structure, order, and even a sense of karmic justice are restored. Number three, victimhood legitimizes avoidant behaviors. The world out there is challenging and painful. Shunning the world guarantees tranquility and an inner peace of mind. So if you talk to a victim and say, “Why are you avoiding the world? Why are you withdrawing? Why are you not dating? Why are you not going out? Why are you not, you know, they say, “I’m a vict I’m a victim. I’m
27. 16:44 traumatized. I’m abused.” It’s an alibi. It’s an excuse to not engage with the world. There is a clinical term for this constriction. The victim constricts her life. But victimhood legitimizes it. Victimhood tells you it’s okay to do this. It’s okay to do this because you have a right for self self-defense and this is a way to self-defense. Most messages of victimhood identity are really really seriously bad for you. Like they are really pathological. They are really unhealthy. I don’t I don’t know of many traumatized. I’m abused.” It’s an alibi. It’s an excuse to not engage with the world. There is a clinical term for this constriction. The victim constricts her life. But victimhood legitimizes it. Victimhood tells you it’s okay to do this. It’s okay to do this because you have a right for self self-defense and this is a way to self-defense. Most messages of victimhood identity are really really seriously bad for you. Like they are really pathological. They are really unhealthy. I don’t I don’t know of many
28. 17:19 things that are more pathological, more profoundly pathological than victimhood. And I’m furious at self-styled experts online that perpetuate victimhood, elevate victimhood, glorify victimhood, and codify victimhood as an acceptable behavior lifelong. You’re not a victim clearly. Number four, victimhood allows the victim to indulge her grandiosity and sense of moral superiority. It paints the victim as immaculate, angelic, empathic, supportive, loving, caring, compassionate, and in short, things that are more pathological, more profoundly pathological than victimhood. And I’m furious at self-styled experts online that perpetuate victimhood, elevate victimhood, glorify victimhood, and codify victimhood as an acceptable behavior lifelong. You’re not a victim clearly. Number four, victimhood allows the victim to indulge her grandiosity and sense of moral superiority. It paints the victim as immaculate, angelic, empathic, supportive, loving, caring, compassionate, and in short,
29. 17:59 perfect, blemishless, blameless, flawless. It is a morality player, a crusade where the victim is the warrior angel fighting off the demonic, for example, narcissist. Yeah. Victimhood affords the victim membership. It’s a membership posture. It’s an affiliative posture. So there is an inroup. We know from sociology the distinction between in-group and outgroup. There is an inroup of victims. And the minute you declare yourself a victim, you belong. You go on an empath forum, a forum for self-styled empaths. perfect, blemishless, blameless, flawless. It is a morality player, a crusade where the victim is the warrior angel fighting off the demonic, for example, narcissist. Yeah. Victimhood affords the victim membership. It’s a membership posture. It’s an affiliative posture. So there is an inroup. We know from sociology the distinction between in-group and outgroup. There is an inroup of victims. And the minute you declare yourself a victim, you belong. You go on an empath forum, a forum for self-styled empaths.
30. 18:34 You declare yourself empath. That’s your entry ticket. You belong. You found soulmates. You found common ground. people who have had the same experience and share your conviction of your own impeccability and your own superiority, moral superiority at least. So there’s an element of affiliation and belonging in belonging. You’re replacing one cult with another. Actually, you’re replacing the cult of the narcissist with the cult of victimhood. So victimhood affords the uh victim membership in a tightly in tight-knit You declare yourself empath. That’s your entry ticket. You belong. You found soulmates. You found common ground. people who have had the same experience and share your conviction of your own impeccability and your own superiority, moral superiority at least. So there’s an element of affiliation and belonging in belonging. You’re replacing one cult with another. Actually, you’re replacing the cult of the narcissist with the cult of victimhood. So victimhood affords the uh victim membership in a tightly in tight-knit
31. 19:08 communities of like-minded people and a sense of belonging and being finally understood, finally vindicated, finally validated and finally elevated. It is an intoxicating mix of intoxicating mix a heady mix. Yes. And victims become aggressive if and when you try to take it away from them. When you alert victims to their own imperfections and contributions to their own predicament, they become aggressive. There is an aggressive defense against giving up on victimhood. Some people adopt the role of communities of like-minded people and a sense of belonging and being finally understood, finally vindicated, finally validated and finally elevated. It is an intoxicating mix of intoxicating mix a heady mix. Yes. And victims become aggressive if and when you try to take it away from them. When you alert victims to their own imperfections and contributions to their own predicament, they become aggressive. There is an aggressive defense against giving up on victimhood. Some people adopt the role of
32. 19:45 professional victim. In doing so, they become self-centered, devoid of empathy, abusive, and exploitative. In other words, they become narcissists. The role of professional victims, people whose existence and very identity rests solely and entirely on their victimhood is well researched in victimology. There’s a branch of psychology called victimology. Actually, there’s a branch of criminology called victimology. So, believe it or not, um it doesn’t make for a nice reading. The victim’s pros pros are often more professional victim. In doing so, they become self-centered, devoid of empathy, abusive, and exploitative. In other words, they become narcissists. The role of professional victims, people whose existence and very identity rests solely and entirely on their victimhood is well researched in victimology. There’s a branch of psychology called victimology. Actually, there’s a branch of criminology called victimology. So, believe it or not, um it doesn’t make for a nice reading. The victim’s pros pros are often more
33. 20:19 cruel, vengeful, vitriolic, etc., etc. Victims identify with this role to the exclusion of all others. So this is victimhood. Why did I dwell? Why did I dwell on victimhood to that extent and so long? When we come to healing and recovering the mind as opposed to the body, we discuss the body and we come when we’re talking about the mind. When it comes to that, the absolute cynic oneonone, the absolute condition is to get rid of victimhood stance. To no longer be a victim as long as you maintain your victimhood cruel, vengeful, vitriolic, etc., etc. Victims identify with this role to the exclusion of all others. So this is victimhood. Why did I dwell? Why did I dwell on victimhood to that extent and so long? When we come to healing and recovering the mind as opposed to the body, we discuss the body and we come when we’re talking about the mind. When it comes to that, the absolute cynic oneonone, the absolute condition is to get rid of victimhood stance. To no longer be a victim as long as you maintain your victimhood
34. 20:56 position, victimhood mentality, victimhood stunts, victimhood posturing, victimhood claims, victimhood rights, victimhood entitlement, and victimhood grandiosity. As long as you maintain this, you will never ever heal. Because you are then emotionally invested in your current state and your current state is that of a victim unhealed victim. So you’re invested in your own disease as a way to empower yourself usually against other people. You know we have this not only with victimhood. We have position, victimhood mentality, victimhood stunts, victimhood posturing, victimhood claims, victimhood rights, victimhood entitlement, and victimhood grandiosity. As long as you maintain this, you will never ever heal. Because you are then emotionally invested in your current state and your current state is that of a victim unhealed victim. So you’re invested in your own disease as a way to empower yourself usually against other people. You know we have this not only with victimhood. We have
35. 21:36 professional professionally sick people. These are people who are always sick. They always have a problem. I don’t know heart attack, diabetes, aneurysm. They’re always sick. They’re always sick with something. They always have some disease. And they are using their frailty. They’re using their diseases. They’re using their disability. People who are disabled somehow. They’re using all this to manipulate people. simply put to manipulate people. They are sick so people should serve them. professional professionally sick people. These are people who are always sick. They always have a problem. I don’t know heart attack, diabetes, aneurysm. They’re always sick. They’re always sick with something. They always have some disease. And they are using their frailty. They’re using their diseases. They’re using their disability. People who are disabled somehow. They’re using all this to manipulate people. simply put to manipulate people. They are sick so people should serve them.
36. 22:12 They should be servants. They should be their servants. They are sick or they are disabled so people should accommodate them. They should modify their lives. They should change everything starting with the structures and ending with timets. Everything revolves around the sick person. Everything revolves around the invalid or the crippled person. So we have these professional victim victims not only in psychological victimization or psychological abuse. We have this uh in other fields of life where we diminish ourselves They should be servants. They should be their servants. They are sick or they are disabled so people should accommodate them. They should modify their lives. They should change everything starting with the structures and ending with timets. Everything revolves around the sick person. Everything revolves around the invalid or the crippled person. So we have these professional victim victims not only in psychological victimization or psychological abuse. We have this uh in other fields of life where we diminish ourselves
37. 22:49 in order to control and manipulate people. And this has a clinical term. By the way, this process is known as control from the bottom. Control from the bottom is used for example by codependence. Independent personality disorder which is the correct clinical term for codependency. Independent personality disorder the codependent uses her deficiencies, her disabilities, her her lack lacks her inability. She uses her inferior position to manipulate and control usually her intimate partner. So she would say the intimate in order to control and manipulate people. And this has a clinical term. By the way, this process is known as control from the bottom. Control from the bottom is used for example by codependence. Independent personality disorder which is the correct clinical term for codependency. Independent personality disorder the codependent uses her deficiencies, her disabilities, her her lack lacks her inability. She uses her inferior position to manipulate and control usually her intimate partner. So she would say the intimate
38. 23:32 partner to the intimate partner she would say I can’t do this without you or I don’t know how to do this or can you tell me if it’s true or can you tell me how to do this or if you go I will die if you leave me I will die or until you came into my life I never accomplished anything. Now that you’re in my life, I’m very accomplished. So the codependent creates a situation actually informing the intimate partner. Without you, I am less of a person. You complete me. You are the one who makes partner to the intimate partner she would say I can’t do this without you or I don’t know how to do this or can you tell me if it’s true or can you tell me how to do this or if you go I will die if you leave me I will die or until you came into my life I never accomplished anything. Now that you’re in my life, I’m very accomplished. So the codependent creates a situation actually informing the intimate partner. Without you, I am less of a person. You complete me. You are the one who makes
39. 24:07 me what I am. Without you, I’m less. I’m inferior. I’m disabled. I’m unable. I’m in incapacitated. I need you. It’s emotional blackmail. It’s emotional extortion. And victims do it a lot. I’m warning you against these traps because if you find that victimhood works for you, you will never be anything else but a victim. And as long as you’re a victim, I am telling you that you will be victimized. That is the part that you’re missing. You’re saying what’s wrong with being a me what I am. Without you, I’m less. I’m inferior. I’m disabled. I’m unable. I’m in incapacitated. I need you. It’s emotional blackmail. It’s emotional extortion. And victims do it a lot. I’m warning you against these traps because if you find that victimhood works for you, you will never be anything else but a victim. And as long as you’re a victim, I am telling you that you will be victimized. That is the part that you’re missing. You’re saying what’s wrong with being a
40. 24:44 victim? I will assume a victimhood identity. I will be a victim. Everyone will revolve around me. I will be the center of attention online and offline. I will be woripped and cherished and people will pity me. And as they pity me, they will give me things. Maybe I can make some money. I will be, you know, what’s wrong with that? It’s an appealing proposition in this day and age. Of course, it’s an appealing proposition. But don’t forget the following. As long as you are a professional victim, you are a victim. victim? I will assume a victimhood identity. I will be a victim. Everyone will revolve around me. I will be the center of attention online and offline. I will be woripped and cherished and people will pity me. And as they pity me, they will give me things. Maybe I can make some money. I will be, you know, what’s wrong with that? It’s an appealing proposition in this day and age. Of course, it’s an appealing proposition. But don’t forget the following. As long as you are a professional victim, you are a victim.
41. 25:14 As long you’re as you’re a victim, you will attract predators. Predators are attracted to victims exactly as sharks are attracted to blood in the water. As long as you’re a victim, you’re bleeding in the water. The sharks will come and don’t kid yourself that this time around you’re immune. This time around you’re knowledgeable. This time around you will not be victimized because as long as you’re a victim, you will be victimized. I promised you at the beginning of this As long you’re as you’re a victim, you will attract predators. Predators are attracted to victims exactly as sharks are attracted to blood in the water. As long as you’re a victim, you’re bleeding in the water. The sharks will come and don’t kid yourself that this time around you’re immune. This time around you’re knowledgeable. This time around you will not be victimized because as long as you’re a victim, you will be victimized. I promised you at the beginning of this
42. 25:49 seminar that every single thing I’m telling you is based on studies that includes good morning. So there are studies that show that people with a tendency to regard themselves as victims are victimized at a much higher rate than people who do not regard themselves as victim for victims. For example, there are studies regarding borderline personality disorder. People with borderline personality disorder have a tendency to consider themselves victims. They always claim to be victims. Narcissists are the same. They always seminar that every single thing I’m telling you is based on studies that includes good morning. So there are studies that show that people with a tendency to regard themselves as victims are victimized at a much higher rate than people who do not regard themselves as victim for victims. For example, there are studies regarding borderline personality disorder. People with borderline personality disorder have a tendency to consider themselves victims. They always claim to be victims. Narcissists are the same. They always
43. 26:25 claim to be victims. We know that people with borderline personality disorder are repeatedly victimized. They are they are serial victims. They always victimized. For example, people with borderline personality disorder are raped at a much higher rate than the general population. example. So, victimhood opens the door to predators, which is a seriously bad idea if you ask me. It’s time to spill my coffee. So, I was asking if people with borderline personality disorder claim to be victims. We know that people with borderline personality disorder are repeatedly victimized. They are they are serial victims. They always victimized. For example, people with borderline personality disorder are raped at a much higher rate than the general population. example. So, victimhood opens the door to predators, which is a seriously bad idea if you ask me. It’s time to spill my coffee. So, I was asking if people with borderline personality disorder