Tip: click a paragraph to jump to the exact moment in the video. Bully Narcissists Are Cowards (Not the Malignant Ones!)

1. 00:01 The narcissist and the psychopath are testing you all the time, constantly in every possible way, financially, sexually, socially, you name it. You’re being constantly probed, experimented on, manipulated, observed like a laboratory animal. If you don’t push back, if you don’t stand firm, if you don’t establish boundaries and then enforce them if necessary, punitively, you’re doomed because they’re going to push the envelope. They’re going to escalate. Escalation is a major feature of The narcissist and the psychopath are testing you all the time, constantly in every possible way, financially, sexually, socially, you name it. You’re being constantly probed, experimented on, manipulated, observed like a laboratory animal. If you don’t push back, if you don’t stand firm, if you don’t establish boundaries and then enforce them if necessary, punitively, you’re doomed because they’re going to push the envelope. They’re going to escalate. Escalation is a major feature of
2. 00:45 antagonism, which is a trait common in narcissism and in psychopathy. So, it’s up to you how much you suffer. The extent and the intensity of the abuse that you that is meitted out to you depends crucially on the feedback and input that you provide in the form of boundaries. You need to establish a perimeter, a firewall which would deter any further incursions. You need to reduce the temperature from egregious to tolerable and then to none. This is entirely up to you. The psychopath and narcissist are attuned to antagonism, which is a trait common in narcissism and in psychopathy. So, it’s up to you how much you suffer. The extent and the intensity of the abuse that you that is meitted out to you depends crucially on the feedback and input that you provide in the form of boundaries. You need to establish a perimeter, a firewall which would deter any further incursions. You need to reduce the temperature from egregious to tolerable and then to none. This is entirely up to you. The psychopath and narcissist are attuned to
3. 01:33 your signals. Interpret them constantly on the alert, on the lookout. And if you’re not there, if you constantly retreat, if you’re malleable, if you are open to attack, if all the vectors are activated, they’re going to come at you. Now, there are distinctions, however, between psychopaths, narcissists, and the worst variety there is, the malignant narcissist. And today I’m going to discuss their bullying tactics and what go what goes on inside their minds when they try to shape and mold your signals. Interpret them constantly on the alert, on the lookout. And if you’re not there, if you constantly retreat, if you’re malleable, if you are open to attack, if all the vectors are activated, they’re going to come at you. Now, there are distinctions, however, between psychopaths, narcissists, and the worst variety there is, the malignant narcissist. And today I’m going to discuss their bullying tactics and what go what goes on inside their minds when they try to shape and mold
4. 02:15 you and control you and own you and possess you and reduce you and finally annihilate you, negate you and visiate you. What goes on in their minds? Are they as um cold-blooded as sanctua, as nonchala, as um fearless and worryless as they appear to be, not concerned with anything? Is their invincibility communicated invincibility a fact? Or is it a myth that they constantly perpetuate, inflate, and impose on everyone around? Is it just a narrative? We’re going to discuss all this today. I’m going to end this video you and control you and own you and possess you and reduce you and finally annihilate you, negate you and visiate you. What goes on in their minds? Are they as um cold-blooded as sanctua, as nonchala, as um fearless and worryless as they appear to be, not concerned with anything? Is their invincibility communicated invincibility a fact? Or is it a myth that they constantly perpetuate, inflate, and impose on everyone around? Is it just a narrative? We’re going to discuss all this today. I’m going to end this video
5. 02:59 with a warning when it comes to one highly specific variant, if you wish, of cluster B personality disorders first described by Otto Kenberg, who Christended it the malignant narcissist. The malignant narcissist is a species all unto his or her own, usually his. The malignant narcissist is truly terrifying and truly dangerous. Whereas the psychopath is an impulsive creature and very predictable because the psychopath is goal oriented. And whereas the narcissist is essentially a child hellbent on temper tantrums and and with a warning when it comes to one highly specific variant, if you wish, of cluster B personality disorders first described by Otto Kenberg, who Christended it the malignant narcissist. The malignant narcissist is a species all unto his or her own, usually his. The malignant narcissist is truly terrifying and truly dangerous. Whereas the psychopath is an impulsive creature and very predictable because the psychopath is goal oriented. And whereas the narcissist is essentially a child hellbent on temper tantrums and and
6. 03:41 worse, the malignant narcissist is a hybrid and it operates in ways which defy any definition I’m aware of of humanity. Generally speaking, bullies are cowards. They’re craven. This is precisely why they operate in mobs and groups. Because by themselves, if you offer firm resistance, if you set boundaries, they recoil. They walk away. Very few bullies operate all alone. They usually form a circle of psychopans or acolytes or fans or supporters or perhaps other bullies. and they operate in networks. It’s a worse, the malignant narcissist is a hybrid and it operates in ways which defy any definition I’m aware of of humanity. Generally speaking, bullies are cowards. They’re craven. This is precisely why they operate in mobs and groups. Because by themselves, if you offer firm resistance, if you set boundaries, they recoil. They walk away. Very few bullies operate all alone. They usually form a circle of psychopans or acolytes or fans or supporters or perhaps other bullies. and they operate in networks. It’s a
7. 04:34 major problem. Additionally, there are various types of bullies depending on the psychological background. And today I’m going to delve deeper into this typology, this nosology of bullying. But it is important to understand that bullying is a much more complex phenomenon than just picking up on someone. It reflects internal dynamics which are very self-destructive on the one hand and bullying is also an adaptation on the other hand. It is a positive adaptation. It allows the bully to survive psychologically if not major problem. Additionally, there are various types of bullies depending on the psychological background. And today I’m going to delve deeper into this typology, this nosology of bullying. But it is important to understand that bullying is a much more complex phenomenon than just picking up on someone. It reflects internal dynamics which are very self-destructive on the one hand and bullying is also an adaptation on the other hand. It is a positive adaptation. It allows the bully to survive psychologically if not
8. 05:18 physically. Bullying therefore is not an extraneous supercillious superficial veneer that the bully can just drop. It’s not 100% a choice. The bully is of course fully aware of his or her actions and the consequences of these actions. But there is an element of impulsivity and even compulsivity in in bullying. My name is Samakin. I’m the author of malignant self love narcissism revisited. And today we’re going to discuss the varieties of bullying. Um, when I teach at a university, I’m a physically. Bullying therefore is not an extraneous supercillious superficial veneer that the bully can just drop. It’s not 100% a choice. The bully is of course fully aware of his or her actions and the consequences of these actions. But there is an element of impulsivity and even compulsivity in in bullying. My name is Samakin. I’m the author of malignant self love narcissism revisited. And today we’re going to discuss the varieties of bullying. Um, when I teach at a university, I’m a
9. 06:00 professor of psychology. When I teach at a university, I often ask the students to point out members in the public, members in the body of students in the audience who are bullies and no one ever complies. I have never come across a student. I’ve been I’ve been um teaching for almost 20 years. I have never come across or 30 actually sorry. I’ve never come across a student who lifted his hand, pointed a finger and said this guy or this girl, they are bullies. There is a conspiracy of silence in the professor of psychology. When I teach at a university, I often ask the students to point out members in the public, members in the body of students in the audience who are bullies and no one ever complies. I have never come across a student. I’ve been I’ve been um teaching for almost 20 years. I have never come across or 30 actually sorry. I’ve never come across a student who lifted his hand, pointed a finger and said this guy or this girl, they are bullies. There is a conspiracy of silence in the
10. 06:45 auditorium. There is an unwritten law, unwritten codex that says, “Thou shalt not snitch.” It’s as if they close ranks. The victims and the bullies close ranks against the figure of authority, which happens to be me. And this is a very interesting and important element in bullying. Bullying is consensual. I know that it sounds crazy, but it’s it’s the absolute truth. Bullying is consensual in the sense that the totality of society or the social cell, the social unit within which bullying auditorium. There is an unwritten law, unwritten codex that says, “Thou shalt not snitch.” It’s as if they close ranks. The victims and the bullies close ranks against the figure of authority, which happens to be me. And this is a very interesting and important element in bullying. Bullying is consensual. I know that it sounds crazy, but it’s it’s the absolute truth. Bullying is consensual in the sense that the totality of society or the social cell, the social unit within which bullying
11. 07:28 takes place divides itself into an inroup and outroup. And the victim then has a choice. Does the victim opt to be does the victim choose to be in the out group or does the victim collaborate with the bully in order to somehow belong in the inroup? It is very common to observe displays of um compassion, affection or empathy between bullies and victims after the bullying act. It’s because they’re both involved in a performative a performative kind of display, an exhibitionist act which borders on theater or movie production. takes place divides itself into an inroup and outroup. And the victim then has a choice. Does the victim opt to be does the victim choose to be in the out group or does the victim collaborate with the bully in order to somehow belong in the inroup? It is very common to observe displays of um compassion, affection or empathy between bullies and victims after the bullying act. It’s because they’re both involved in a performative a performative kind of display, an exhibitionist act which borders on theater or movie production.
12. 08:13 The the victim is a script, the bully has a script and they work together to execute it to the best of their abilities while everyone around them is the audience. sometimes the appreciative audience, sometimes the flabbergasted audience, but always an audience. And when someone tries to break into the system, like a professor, like the police, like a judge, like a social worker, like family members try to break into the circle. They find out that the whole interaction is firewall and utterly inaccessible to outsiders. The the victim is a script, the bully has a script and they work together to execute it to the best of their abilities while everyone around them is the audience. sometimes the appreciative audience, sometimes the flabbergasted audience, but always an audience. And when someone tries to break into the system, like a professor, like the police, like a judge, like a social worker, like family members try to break into the circle. They find out that the whole interaction is firewall and utterly inaccessible to outsiders.
13. 08:55 There is this sense of insiders and outsiders. One of the reasons bullies are craven is that they are they rely heavily on this consensus and when the consensus breaks down for example when the victim pushes back, establishes boundaries, involves involves law enforcement and so on so forth. When the consensus breaks down, they feel highly disoriented. They they are terrified. They feel that their entire world is falling apart. They can’t make sense of anything anymore. Everything becomes meaningless. It’s There is this sense of insiders and outsiders. One of the reasons bullies are craven is that they are they rely heavily on this consensus and when the consensus breaks down for example when the victim pushes back, establishes boundaries, involves involves law enforcement and so on so forth. When the consensus breaks down, they feel highly disoriented. They they are terrified. They feel that their entire world is falling apart. They can’t make sense of anything anymore. Everything becomes meaningless. It’s
14. 09:31 it’s a bit of a uh it’s um a frightening experience. They feel menaced and threatened. And so this is why they run away, recoil, disappear, vanish. it there is an element of being afraid of being scared. There is an element of cowardly cowardliness and cravenness but it’s only one element in a much bigger picture. You see the bully makes sense of the world his his world and others world makes sense of the system makes sense of authority makes sense of the universe. Make sense of life and of reality. it’s a bit of a uh it’s um a frightening experience. They feel menaced and threatened. And so this is why they run away, recoil, disappear, vanish. it there is an element of being afraid of being scared. There is an element of cowardly cowardliness and cravenness but it’s only one element in a much bigger picture. You see the bully makes sense of the world his his world and others world makes sense of the system makes sense of authority makes sense of the universe. Make sense of life and of reality.
15. 10:12 The victim via bullying. Bullying mediates this sense. The bully makes sense of reality in life and the world via bully and and bullying affords or provides the bully with a sense of direction and purpose, a hierarchy, an explanation. It’s an organizing principle, an explanatory principle on a behavioral level. So bullying is a structuring agent. It creates structure and when we all know that we feel safest when we are embedded somehow in a structure. The flow the asymmetrical flow of power The victim via bullying. Bullying mediates this sense. The bully makes sense of reality in life and the world via bully and and bullying affords or provides the bully with a sense of direction and purpose, a hierarchy, an explanation. It’s an organizing principle, an explanatory principle on a behavioral level. So bullying is a structuring agent. It creates structure and when we all know that we feel safest when we are embedded somehow in a structure. The flow the asymmetrical flow of power
16. 11:02 in the matrix keeps us in the matrix. The bully has more power than the victim. And so this creates a kind of cascade which is highly rigid and highly structured and affords everyone involved with a sense of safety, stability, pred predictability, determinacy, security and so on so forth. The victim is not powerless in bullying. The victim is not powerless. Any helplessness is learned and the victim ostentatiously displays exhibits powerlessness and helplessness in the vain hope of somehow mitigating in the matrix keeps us in the matrix. The bully has more power than the victim. And so this creates a kind of cascade which is highly rigid and highly structured and affords everyone involved with a sense of safety, stability, pred predictability, determinacy, security and so on so forth. The victim is not powerless in bullying. The victim is not powerless. Any helplessness is learned and the victim ostentatiously displays exhibits powerlessness and helplessness in the vain hope of somehow mitigating
17. 11:48 and amirating the bully’s aggression. This creates a narrative a script of two it’s a tango sad dance macabo between bully and victim. Now there are very types various types of bullies as I’ve mentioned. Not all of them are mentally ill. Not all of them have mental health issues. Actually a minority do surprisingly. The vast majority of bullies and stalkers. The abusers including domestic violence abusers and so they they don’t have any mental health issue. They have an issue with control. and amirating the bully’s aggression. This creates a narrative a script of two it’s a tango sad dance macabo between bully and victim. Now there are very types various types of bullies as I’ve mentioned. Not all of them are mentally ill. Not all of them have mental health issues. Actually a minority do surprisingly. The vast majority of bullies and stalkers. The abusers including domestic violence abusers and so they they don’t have any mental health issue. They have an issue with control.
18. 12:28 They believe unconsciously that it’s very easy to lose control and if you do your life is is threatened. If you do your identity is threatened. If you do, you would be shamed and humiliated. So control becomes a major issue. So yeah, it’s control freakery. There are issues of anger management, but these are these do not amount to mental health issues. They’re not mental illness. However, certain mental health diagnosis, certain mentally health pe me mentally ill, mentally unhealthy people bully uh They believe unconsciously that it’s very easy to lose control and if you do your life is is threatened. If you do your identity is threatened. If you do, you would be shamed and humiliated. So control becomes a major issue. So yeah, it’s control freakery. There are issues of anger management, but these are these do not amount to mental health issues. They’re not mental illness. However, certain mental health diagnosis, certain mentally health pe me mentally ill, mentally unhealthy people bully uh
19. 13:10 habitually as a default mode, default behavioral mode. We’re talking about psychopaths and narcissists and the unsavory hybrid of psychopaths and narcissists known as malignant narcissists. First of all, psychopaths. Now we know, we are discovering that psychopaths are actually not fearless. It was a stereotype. They are anxious. It is true that they process fear differently even on a physiological level. You know there are brain abnormalities involved. But underneath it all in psychopathy there is an habitually as a default mode, default behavioral mode. We’re talking about psychopaths and narcissists and the unsavory hybrid of psychopaths and narcissists known as malignant narcissists. First of all, psychopaths. Now we know, we are discovering that psychopaths are actually not fearless. It was a stereotype. They are anxious. It is true that they process fear differently even on a physiological level. You know there are brain abnormalities involved. But underneath it all in psychopathy there is an
20. 13:50 anxiety disorder. And the psychopath’s defiance, recklessness, externalized aggression, in your face, sense of impunity, my way or the highway, all this, it’s a reaction formation. It’s a broadcast. The psychopath broadcasts, transmits, signals, informs the world that he is fearless, that he is not anxious. It’s a way of denying the internal reality by creating an external reality which is exactly the opposite. And this defense mechanism is known as reaction formation. Psychopaths anxiety disorder. And the psychopath’s defiance, recklessness, externalized aggression, in your face, sense of impunity, my way or the highway, all this, it’s a reaction formation. It’s a broadcast. The psychopath broadcasts, transmits, signals, informs the world that he is fearless, that he is not anxious. It’s a way of denying the internal reality by creating an external reality which is exactly the opposite. And this defense mechanism is known as reaction formation. Psychopaths
21. 14:33 externalize aggression um in a manner which could be described as compensatory in the it’s it’s as if they they want the external noise that they are generating to drown the internal noise which threatens to devour them and disregulate them and drown them. Now this is more typical even more typical in people with borderline personality disorder. But now that be we be now that we’re beginning to realize that anxiety is involved in psychopathy. We are also beginning to see the similarities between borderline externalize aggression um in a manner which could be described as compensatory in the it’s it’s as if they they want the external noise that they are generating to drown the internal noise which threatens to devour them and disregulate them and drown them. Now this is more typical even more typical in people with borderline personality disorder. But now that be we be now that we’re beginning to realize that anxiety is involved in psychopathy. We are also beginning to see the similarities between borderline
22. 15:08 personality disorder and some forms of psychopathy which are known as facto 2 or secondary psychopathy. Be that as it may, the psychopathic bully is anxious. his the psychopathic bullies, ostentatious displays of cruelty and malice and and violence and they are all intended to convince the psychopath that everything is well that there is no risk from the inside that is not about to disintegrate and fall apart that the anxiety is unjustified. And so that’s why it’s very easy actually to destabilize a psychopathic bully by set personality disorder and some forms of psychopathy which are known as facto 2 or secondary psychopathy. Be that as it may, the psychopathic bully is anxious. his the psychopathic bullies, ostentatious displays of cruelty and malice and and violence and they are all intended to convince the psychopath that everything is well that there is no risk from the inside that is not about to disintegrate and fall apart that the anxiety is unjustified. And so that’s why it’s very easy actually to destabilize a psychopathic bully by set
23. 15:50 as I said by setting boundaries by offering firm resistance by threatening and and so on so forth. The problem with that with these strategies is that they may cause escalation. The psychopath may be psychopathic bully may be so invested in the bullying as it as the only outlet and the only regulatory mechanism that any threat or perceived threat may cause escalation and because psychopaths have a problem with impulse control especially secondary psychopaths and so on so forth this can end badly. as I said by setting boundaries by offering firm resistance by threatening and and so on so forth. The problem with that with these strategies is that they may cause escalation. The psychopath may be psychopathic bully may be so invested in the bullying as it as the only outlet and the only regulatory mechanism that any threat or perceived threat may cause escalation and because psychopaths have a problem with impulse control especially secondary psychopaths and so on so forth this can end badly.
24. 16:29 What about narcissists? Narcissists are equally anxious, if not more so, because they’re hypervigilant. They scan constantly for slides and insults and challenges and criticism and disagreement. They can’t tolerate any of this. They develop paranoid ideiation. They’re fragile. They’re brittle. Their self-concept is so divorced from reality, so fantastic, so inflated, so grandiose, so cognitively impaired that they need to invest in amount of resources. They need toffect to a large What about narcissists? Narcissists are equally anxious, if not more so, because they’re hypervigilant. They scan constantly for slides and insults and challenges and criticism and disagreement. They can’t tolerate any of this. They develop paranoid ideiation. They’re fragile. They’re brittle. Their self-concept is so divorced from reality, so fantastic, so inflated, so grandiose, so cognitively impaired that they need to invest in amount of resources. They need toffect to a large
25. 17:06 extent in order to somehow maintain this house of cards which is about to crumble uh with any altercation or interaction. So narcissists being actually more anxious than than psychopaths engage in displays of compensatory narcissism. They signal to the world that they are superior, impregnable, impugn, untouchable, invulnerable. And one of the ways to do this is to push the boundaries, to push the envelope, to misbehave egregiously, to demonstrate to everyone how impuged and invulnerable and untouchable you extent in order to somehow maintain this house of cards which is about to crumble uh with any altercation or interaction. So narcissists being actually more anxious than than psychopaths engage in displays of compensatory narcissism. They signal to the world that they are superior, impregnable, impugn, untouchable, invulnerable. And one of the ways to do this is to push the boundaries, to push the envelope, to misbehave egregiously, to demonstrate to everyone how impuged and invulnerable and untouchable you
26. 17:52 are. And when doing so, bullying is is um the preferred method because by bullying other people, you trample on their autonomy, on their independence, on their rights, on their boundaries. And when there is not no adverse outcome, when you’re not punished, when you get away with it, that proves to everyone that indeed you are what you claim to be, superior in some way, godlike. The worst kind of bully is the malignant narcissist. Combination of narcissist and psychop. Whereas the psychopath is are. And when doing so, bullying is is um the preferred method because by bullying other people, you trample on their autonomy, on their independence, on their rights, on their boundaries. And when there is not no adverse outcome, when you’re not punished, when you get away with it, that proves to everyone that indeed you are what you claim to be, superior in some way, godlike. The worst kind of bully is the malignant narcissist. Combination of narcissist and psychop. Whereas the psychopath is
27. 18:34 anxious. Psychopath’s anxiety is an ex is an existential anxiety. Psychopath is as if the psychopath expects to die in a minute. The narcissist anxiety is about self-concept or self-image. maintaining the fragile maintaining the the explicit self-esteem which is totally divorced from the implicit self-esteem proving to the world that the facade is real the false self is not false the fantasy is reality okay so that’s the narcissist source of anxiety the malignant narcissist has neither ironically it’s anxious. Psychopath’s anxiety is an ex is an existential anxiety. Psychopath is as if the psychopath expects to die in a minute. The narcissist anxiety is about self-concept or self-image. maintaining the fragile maintaining the the explicit self-esteem which is totally divorced from the implicit self-esteem proving to the world that the facade is real the false self is not false the fantasy is reality okay so that’s the narcissist source of anxiety the malignant narcissist has neither ironically it’s
28. 19:10 as if the psychopathic anxiety and the narcissistic anxiety in the malignant narcissist have canceled each each other. Malignant narcissist to remind you is a hybrid between psychopathy, nar clinical psychopathy, clinical narcissism and clinical sadism. This kind of creature is fearless, is indeed fearless. And I think what has happened in the literature, let alone in the media and in show business, is that we conflate and confuse psychopaths with malignant narcissists who appear to be psychopaths, but they’re not. I mean as if the psychopathic anxiety and the narcissistic anxiety in the malignant narcissist have canceled each each other. Malignant narcissist to remind you is a hybrid between psychopathy, nar clinical psychopathy, clinical narcissism and clinical sadism. This kind of creature is fearless, is indeed fearless. And I think what has happened in the literature, let alone in the media and in show business, is that we conflate and confuse psychopaths with malignant narcissists who appear to be psychopaths, but they’re not. I mean
29. 19:47 they are but they’re also narcissists and sades. So this hybrid is I I would say alien. This hybrid is robotic. This these are not humans in any sense of the word. Malignant narcissists are truly fearless. They’re truly fearless. They are not anxious. They are not as fragile and brittle and vulnerable as the narcissist is. They are highly paranoid and they are sadistic. And so they make the most intractable bullies. Bullies that cannot they have no incentive to modify their their misbehavior they are but they’re also narcissists and sades. So this hybrid is I I would say alien. This hybrid is robotic. This these are not humans in any sense of the word. Malignant narcissists are truly fearless. They’re truly fearless. They are not anxious. They are not as fragile and brittle and vulnerable as the narcissist is. They are highly paranoid and they are sadistic. And so they make the most intractable bullies. Bullies that cannot they have no incentive to modify their their misbehavior
30. 20:31 to somehow choose another path of interacting with other people. They have no incentive because bullying gratifies the sadistic aspect, elevates the narcissistic aspect and allows control and power over people with the psychopathic aspect. When you challenge the malignant narcissist, when you threaten the malignant narcissist, when you set boundaries, when you even involve law enforcement and so on so forth, the malignant narcissist smirks and laughs in your face. Now the malignant narcissist is clever to somehow choose another path of interacting with other people. They have no incentive because bullying gratifies the sadistic aspect, elevates the narcissistic aspect and allows control and power over people with the psychopathic aspect. When you challenge the malignant narcissist, when you threaten the malignant narcissist, when you set boundaries, when you even involve law enforcement and so on so forth, the malignant narcissist smirks and laughs in your face. Now the malignant narcissist is clever
31. 21:11 as far as a malignant narcissist is concerned when you threaten him it’s a fourdimension fourdimensional game. Sherlock Holmes who was a malignant narcissist used to say the game is a foot. So it’s a game. The malignant narcissist regards the whole situation as a game. It’s a chess game. your threat when you threaten the malignant narcissist, it’s a gambit. It’s the opening move in a chess game. Now, the malignant narcissist may respond by escalating overtly, or may pretend to be afraid, drawing you as far as a malignant narcissist is concerned when you threaten him it’s a fourdimension fourdimensional game. Sherlock Holmes who was a malignant narcissist used to say the game is a foot. So it’s a game. The malignant narcissist regards the whole situation as a game. It’s a chess game. your threat when you threaten the malignant narcissist, it’s a gambit. It’s the opening move in a chess game. Now, the malignant narcissist may respond by escalating overtly, or may pretend to be afraid, drawing you
32. 21:50 in, sucking information from you, weakening your defenses, deluding you into believing that you’re winning. And so, and all the time the malignant narcissist finds it hilarious and funny. And all the time you’re feeding the malignant narcissist, your attention, your threats, your obsession with the malignant narcissist with this misconduct with with retribution and vengeance and revenge. You are this is feeding the malignant narcissist. This is narcissistic supply. This is wonderful. And the malignant narcissist in, sucking information from you, weakening your defenses, deluding you into believing that you’re winning. And so, and all the time the malignant narcissist finds it hilarious and funny. And all the time you’re feeding the malignant narcissist, your attention, your threats, your obsession with the malignant narcissist with this misconduct with with retribution and vengeance and revenge. You are this is feeding the malignant narcissist. This is narcissistic supply. This is wonderful. And the malignant narcissist
33. 22:31 rejoices and enjoys your discomfort, your pain, your rage, your envy, your disregulation, your negative effects. He it it it aggrandise self aggrandizes because the malignant narcissist realizes he is the cause of all this. And so the worst thing you can do with a malignant narcissist is threaten them. tell them, you know, I’m going to go to the police or your days are numbered or, you know, wait until I expose you. And this does not work with a malignant narcissist. You’re just feeding the machine. You’re rejoices and enjoys your discomfort, your pain, your rage, your envy, your disregulation, your negative effects. He it it it aggrandise self aggrandizes because the malignant narcissist realizes he is the cause of all this. And so the worst thing you can do with a malignant narcissist is threaten them. tell them, you know, I’m going to go to the police or your days are numbered or, you know, wait until I expose you. And this does not work with a malignant narcissist. You’re just feeding the machine. You’re
34. 23:11 just making him happy. He’s bored. The psychopathic element in the malignant narcissist is that he’s bored. And you are providing entertainment, prime entertainment, amazing entertainment. The malignantis sits back and watches you disintegrate on screen and he draws you in further and further by pretending to be afraid of you by uh on the other hand escalating by he plays he plays games with you. you have raw material and only stupid people believe that they have power over the malignant narcissist just making him happy. He’s bored. The psychopathic element in the malignant narcissist is that he’s bored. And you are providing entertainment, prime entertainment, amazing entertainment. The malignantis sits back and watches you disintegrate on screen and he draws you in further and further by pretending to be afraid of you by uh on the other hand escalating by he plays he plays games with you. you have raw material and only stupid people believe that they have power over the malignant narcissist
35. 23:49 that they, you know, they cornered the malignant narcissist. They’re about to punish the malignis and destroy the malignant narcissist. That’s complete nonsense. as malleic narcissist are usually highly intelligent and they don’t get caught most of the time. They minimize the effectiveness of any possible threat. So they have no incentive to stop bullying you one way or another. And they continue to play with you the way cats play with mice. And this is the only type of bully which is who is irredeemable, that they, you know, they cornered the malignant narcissist. They’re about to punish the malignis and destroy the malignant narcissist. That’s complete nonsense. as malleic narcissist are usually highly intelligent and they don’t get caught most of the time. They minimize the effectiveness of any possible threat. So they have no incentive to stop bullying you one way or another. And they continue to play with you the way cats play with mice. And this is the only type of bully which is who is irredeemable,
36. 24:35 nonransformable, nonmodifiable and would go to any length, would push you to commit suicide, would interfere with your personal life, would spy on you, would sabotage and undermine you, would go to any length because of the sadism, the sadistic element. I therefore make a a major distinction between psychopaths and narcissists and malignant narcissists. Malignant narcissism, despite the fact that it is a hybrid, it is a combination, it’s something completely different, completely new. It’s like taking hydrogen, the nonransformable, nonmodifiable and would go to any length, would push you to commit suicide, would interfere with your personal life, would spy on you, would sabotage and undermine you, would go to any length because of the sadism, the sadistic element. I therefore make a a major distinction between psychopaths and narcissists and malignant narcissists. Malignant narcissism, despite the fact that it is a hybrid, it is a combination, it’s something completely different, completely new. It’s like taking hydrogen, the
37. 25:15 psychopath, oxygen, the narcissist, putting them together. What do you get? You don’t get another type of gas. What you get is water. a completely different substance. And it is the focus should be on malignant narcissists because many a lot of the abuse and the crimes and everything that people misattribute to to narcissist or even to psychopaths are actually committed by malignant narcissists. Bullying is just one of them. It’s this time of year, May 2026, yet another seminar and this time in Ow. psychopath, oxygen, the narcissist, putting them together. What do you get? You don’t get another type of gas. What you get is water. a completely different substance. And it is the focus should be on malignant narcissists because many a lot of the abuse and the crimes and everything that people misattribute to to narcissist or even to psychopaths are actually committed by malignant narcissists. Bullying is just one of them. It’s this time of year, May 2026, yet another seminar and this time in Ow.
38. 26:07 Ow. O H R I D. Owed is a world heritage site. It’s one of the most beautiful cities in the world. It is perched on a lake. It sports hundreds of exquisite churches, icons, a fort, and an amazing architecture. It is an undiscovered gem. You can learn more about by surfing the internet or going to the Wikipedia article. I believe that has a tourism website. And so init we’re going to hold our next seminar at the end of May 2026. The Vaknin Rangelovska Foundation is organizing a free seminar, no entrance Ow. O H R I D. Owed is a world heritage site. It’s one of the most beautiful cities in the world. It is perched on a lake. It sports hundreds of exquisite churches, icons, a fort, and an amazing architecture. It is an undiscovered gem. You can learn more about by surfing the internet or going to the Wikipedia article. I believe that has a tourism website. And so init we’re going to hold our next seminar at the end of May 2026. The Vaknin Rangelovska Foundation is organizing a free seminar, no entrance
39. 26:56 fee. The seminar is going to last three and a half days. There’s going to be an opening session followed by three full days of lectures. The topic is intriguing. Suggested by Lydia Rangeloska, the narcissist relationships with parents, day one, intimate partners, day two, and his or her children, day three. a progression from a disrupted relationship with the self to even more disrupted relationships with others known in psychology unsurprisingly as objects. To reserve your free place right now, fee. The seminar is going to last three and a half days. There’s going to be an opening session followed by three full days of lectures. The topic is intriguing. Suggested by Lydia Rangeloska, the narcissist relationships with parents, day one, intimate partners, day two, and his or her children, day three. a progression from a disrupted relationship with the self to even more disrupted relationships with others known in psychology unsurprisingly as objects. To reserve your free place right now,
40. 27:41 write to me at sambakin, that’s my name, atgmail.com. Sam Vaknin atgmail.com right to reserve your place because um we are going to rent or hire a venue based on your participation. So you first come first serve. The early bird takes uh the warm and so on and so forth. Write to me now. Again, a free seminar, three and a half days in the magnificent city of OID at the end of May 2026 with ma. What could go wrong? write to me at sambakin, that’s my name, atgmail.com. Sam Vaknin atgmail.com right to reserve your place because um we are going to rent or hire a venue based on your participation. So you first come first serve. The early bird takes uh the warm and so on and so forth. Write to me now. Again, a free seminar, three and a half days in the magnificent city of OID at the end of May 2026 with ma. What could go wrong?