Tip: click a paragraph to jump to the exact moment in the video. Narcissist, Psychopath: My Way or Highway, Eff You, In Your Face Factor

1. 00:02 Both narcissists and psychopaths are known as fiercely, zealously independent, admirably so lone wolves, rebels, glamorized, mythologized and eulogized. And yet people confuse independence, personal autonomy with defiance, which is the clinical term. Independence is the ability to maintain ego functions, ego boundaries, personal boundaries even as the individual meaningfully and productively interacts with other people. In other words, independence is the ability to bring other people into your life while not losing the sense of Both narcissists and psychopaths are known as fiercely, zealously independent, admirably so lone wolves, rebels, glamorized, mythologized and eulogized. And yet people confuse independence, personal autonomy with defiance, which is the clinical term. Independence is the ability to maintain ego functions, ego boundaries, personal boundaries even as the individual meaningfully and productively interacts with other people. In other words, independence is the ability to bring other people into your life while not losing the sense of
2. 00:54 continuity afforded by the self and not allowing other people to breach your boundaries and undermine the narrative that is the glue that holds you together. That is independence. Defiance is something completely different. Defiance is exclusionary. Defiance is about excluding other people either because you’re afraid of them, you find them annoying, you refuse to lower yourself to collaborate with them, whatever the reason may be and we will discuss all the reasons today. Defiance is most definitely not independence. Defiance is continuity afforded by the self and not allowing other people to breach your boundaries and undermine the narrative that is the glue that holds you together. That is independence. Defiance is something completely different. Defiance is exclusionary. Defiance is about excluding other people either because you’re afraid of them, you find them annoying, you refuse to lower yourself to collaborate with them, whatever the reason may be and we will discuss all the reasons today. Defiance is most definitely not independence. Defiance is
3. 01:39 a schizoid avoidant solution. It involves withdrawal. The boundaries in defiance are transformations of externalized aggression. So defiance is antagonistic. It is conflictbased and conflict prone. Whereas independence is the exact opposite. It’s not about antagonism. It’s about compromise. It’s about negotiation. It’s about cooperation and collaboration. It’s about self-enrich enrichment and self self-enhancement via the interactions with other people. Both um defiance and consumaciousness, the a schizoid avoidant solution. It involves withdrawal. The boundaries in defiance are transformations of externalized aggression. So defiance is antagonistic. It is conflictbased and conflict prone. Whereas independence is the exact opposite. It’s not about antagonism. It’s about compromise. It’s about negotiation. It’s about cooperation and collaboration. It’s about self-enrich enrichment and self self-enhancement via the interactions with other people. Both um defiance and consumaciousness, the
4. 02:27 rejection of authority are forms of reactance. And today we are going to discuss the narcissist and the psychopath. what I call the F factor. F you know effing the F factor. My way or the highway. My name is Sambaknin. I’m the author of malignance of love, narcissism revisited and I’m a defined professor of psychology. I mentioned reactance and in the case of narcissists and psychopaths, reactance is invested with pride. It’s a cause for arrogance. It imbusses the narcissist and and the psychopath rejection of authority are forms of reactance. And today we are going to discuss the narcissist and the psychopath. what I call the F factor. F you know effing the F factor. My way or the highway. My name is Sambaknin. I’m the author of malignance of love, narcissism revisited and I’m a defined professor of psychology. I mentioned reactance and in the case of narcissists and psychopaths, reactance is invested with pride. It’s a cause for arrogance. It imbusses the narcissist and and the psychopath
5. 03:10 with a sense of innate superiority and supremacy. It is defiance that sets the narcissist and psychopath apart from the rest of society. Defiance in this sense is a form of boundary. It is a dysfunctional boundary because it involves aggression. It’s often counterproductive and it leads to outcomes which are adverse and sometimes threatening. And yet the narcissist and psychopath perceive defines as a form of signaling. Signaling of uniqueness and signaling of superiority. We’ll come to it a bit with a sense of innate superiority and supremacy. It is defiance that sets the narcissist and psychopath apart from the rest of society. Defiance in this sense is a form of boundary. It is a dysfunctional boundary because it involves aggression. It’s often counterproductive and it leads to outcomes which are adverse and sometimes threatening. And yet the narcissist and psychopath perceive defines as a form of signaling. Signaling of uniqueness and signaling of superiority. We’ll come to it a bit
6. 03:49 later. But first let us define reactance. Reactance is a a word coined in uh in the 1960s by Jack Brim B rehm. And he he came up with what came to be known as reactance theory. Reactance theory is defined this th this way is this way in the American Psychological Association dictionary. Reactance theory, a model stating that in response to a perceived threat to or loss of behavioral freedom, a person will experience psychological reactance or simply reactance. A motivational state characterized by later. But first let us define reactance. Reactance is a a word coined in uh in the 1960s by Jack Brim B rehm. And he he came up with what came to be known as reactance theory. Reactance theory is defined this th this way is this way in the American Psychological Association dictionary. Reactance theory, a model stating that in response to a perceived threat to or loss of behavioral freedom, a person will experience psychological reactance or simply reactance. A motivational state characterized by
7. 04:37 distress, anxiety, resistance, and the desire to restore the lost behavioral freedom. According to this model, when people feel coerced into a certain behavior, they will react against the coercion often by demonstrating an increased preference for the behavior that is restrained and may perform the behavior opposite to that desired. We saw examples of reactants in the general population during the coid9 pandemic when people were coerced into behaving in certain ways and other behaviors were proscribed prohibited. People reacted by distress, anxiety, resistance, and the desire to restore the lost behavioral freedom. According to this model, when people feel coerced into a certain behavior, they will react against the coercion often by demonstrating an increased preference for the behavior that is restrained and may perform the behavior opposite to that desired. We saw examples of reactants in the general population during the coid9 pandemic when people were coerced into behaving in certain ways and other behaviors were proscribed prohibited. People reacted by
8. 05:19 actually adopting the um forbidden behaviors as a way of signaling their discontent, distress, anger, rage, anxiety and of course what they perceive to be independence. This was a case of defiance actually. And here we can see the differences. Now defiance is on a spectrum. Many things, many behaviors you would not consider defiant actually are. Many traits which are not perceived as defiant actually signify defiance. And this spectrum starts with ostentatious eccentricity. Being unique and special in a way that actually adopting the um forbidden behaviors as a way of signaling their discontent, distress, anger, rage, anxiety and of course what they perceive to be independence. This was a case of defiance actually. And here we can see the differences. Now defiance is on a spectrum. Many things, many behaviors you would not consider defiant actually are. Many traits which are not perceived as defiant actually signify defiance. And this spectrum starts with ostentatious eccentricity. Being unique and special in a way that
9. 06:07 attracts attention, but also in a way that discomforts other people, frustrates them, limits them. constricts them, undermines their goals and wishes and a way that is nonobsicuous, does not succumb to the demands and expectations of other people. That is ostentatious eccentricity. It is also imbued with a resistance to social mores, conventions and norms. anything from clothing style, fashion to um etiquette. So the first step, the first rung on the ladder of defiance, the first the first pole in the spectrum in this continuum attracts attention, but also in a way that discomforts other people, frustrates them, limits them. constricts them, undermines their goals and wishes and a way that is nonobsicuous, does not succumb to the demands and expectations of other people. That is ostentatious eccentricity. It is also imbued with a resistance to social mores, conventions and norms. anything from clothing style, fashion to um etiquette. So the first step, the first rung on the ladder of defiance, the first the first pole in the spectrum in this continuum
10. 06:56 is ostentatious eccentricity. The next stage is nonconformity. the refusal to conform, obey uh and act in ways which satisfy societal demands and expectations. Society inculcates people with scripts. We have behavioral scripts, for example, sexual scripts, how to flirt, when is it okay to have sex, when is it not? We have social scripts. What does a family mean? How does one how does one interact in the workplace? All these the collection the amalgamation of these scripts is actually the social codex of the social is ostentatious eccentricity. The next stage is nonconformity. the refusal to conform, obey uh and act in ways which satisfy societal demands and expectations. Society inculcates people with scripts. We have behavioral scripts, for example, sexual scripts, how to flirt, when is it okay to have sex, when is it not? We have social scripts. What does a family mean? How does one how does one interact in the workplace? All these the collection the amalgamation of these scripts is actually the social codex of the social
11. 07:39 compact the social contract and socialization agents such as parents teach us in indoctrinate us with these scripts. Nonconformity is the avowed conspicuous and ostentatious rejection of these scripts. The next stage is classical defiance. Simply the constant urge, irresistible urge to say no to anything, to be a non- no bear. Whatever the offer on hand at hand, whatever the proposal, whatever the circumstances, whichever types of interaction are available, the defiant person says no. Saying no is codified, compact the social contract and socialization agents such as parents teach us in indoctrinate us with these scripts. Nonconformity is the avowed conspicuous and ostentatious rejection of these scripts. The next stage is classical defiance. Simply the constant urge, irresistible urge to say no to anything, to be a non- no bear. Whatever the offer on hand at hand, whatever the proposal, whatever the circumstances, whichever types of interaction are available, the defiant person says no. Saying no is codified,
12. 08:27 sanctified. Saying no becomes a survival strategy or strategy, a technique, but at the same time also ritualized. In other words, defiance has a lot in common with religion in some ways. It is highly structured and rigid and it affords the individual a sense of connection with a higher purpose. And then we have consummatiousness. Consumaciousness is the rejection and abhorance of authority and of course authority figures. This is beginning to be antisocial. these borders of antisocial behavior and sanctified. Saying no becomes a survival strategy or strategy, a technique, but at the same time also ritualized. In other words, defiance has a lot in common with religion in some ways. It is highly structured and rigid and it affords the individual a sense of connection with a higher purpose. And then we have consummatiousness. Consumaciousness is the rejection and abhorance of authority and of course authority figures. This is beginning to be antisocial. these borders of antisocial behavior and
13. 09:13 taken to extreme of course it leads to criminal acts and adverse consequences or outcomes. And so consummaciousness is already transitioning from individualism or malignant individualism to criminal antisocial behavior. And finally we have active rebelliousness which invol which also as a subcategory would include crime. Activist rebelliousness simply means that society as a whole is perceived as the enemy. Its structures should be undone. It’s a form of nihilism. It’s the belief that current institutions, taken to extreme of course it leads to criminal acts and adverse consequences or outcomes. And so consummaciousness is already transitioning from individualism or malignant individualism to criminal antisocial behavior. And finally we have active rebelliousness which invol which also as a subcategory would include crime. Activist rebelliousness simply means that society as a whole is perceived as the enemy. Its structures should be undone. It’s a form of nihilism. It’s the belief that current institutions,
14. 10:01 the ambiance, the circumstances, people around oneself, they all conspire to somehow subdue, suppress, dominate and subsume the individual and it is the individual ethical and moral obligation to fight back. Even criminals have a code of ethics. And the typical code of ethics of criminals is exactly this. Society has wronged me or society is badly constructed. And all I’m doing is I’m securing my just deserts what I deserve. So activist rebelliousness and and finally crime. And this is the spectrum the ambiance, the circumstances, people around oneself, they all conspire to somehow subdue, suppress, dominate and subsume the individual and it is the individual ethical and moral obligation to fight back. Even criminals have a code of ethics. And the typical code of ethics of criminals is exactly this. Society has wronged me or society is badly constructed. And all I’m doing is I’m securing my just deserts what I deserve. So activist rebelliousness and and finally crime. And this is the spectrum
15. 10:46 of defiance and reactance. What are what’s the psychological background? What are the psychonamics? What what are the motivations and attitudes that underly these highly self-injurious, self-defeating, selfharming and self-destructive behaviors? Why would an individual engage in in such conduct knowing full well or gradually becoming aware of the delterious consequences to oneself and and other things and people one values. So start with traits traits which are essentially hereditary and one of them is dissoci. of defiance and reactance. What are what’s the psychological background? What are the psychonamics? What what are the motivations and attitudes that underly these highly self-injurious, self-defeating, selfharming and self-destructive behaviors? Why would an individual engage in in such conduct knowing full well or gradually becoming aware of the delterious consequences to oneself and and other things and people one values. So start with traits traits which are essentially hereditary and one of them is dissoci.
16. 11:32 Disociality is a core personality traits. It’s a difficulty in conducting oneself within society pro-socially. It is marked by a profound disregard for other people’s rights, feelings, and social norms manifesting as a lack of empathy, self-centeredness, manipulativeness, machionism, and callousness. indifference to causing harm, exploiting others, and failing to feel guilt or remorse. And this differs from simple avoidance or simple shyness because it involves harmful persistent patterns of behavior. Disociality is a core personality traits. It’s a difficulty in conducting oneself within society pro-socially. It is marked by a profound disregard for other people’s rights, feelings, and social norms manifesting as a lack of empathy, self-centeredness, manipulativeness, machionism, and callousness. indifference to causing harm, exploiting others, and failing to feel guilt or remorse. And this differs from simple avoidance or simple shyness because it involves harmful persistent patterns of behavior.
17. 12:12 So this is a trait. Antagonism is another trait, seeking conflict. So there are hereditary traits which predispose people including narcissists and psychopaths to behave in ways which are defiant. My way or the highway f off you know this kind of behavior and narcissist and psychopath cherish the freedom to behave this way. They do they refuse to be constrained or restrained. They refuse to adhere to any mores or codes or norms which would somehow inhibit them. In this sense, one could say that So this is a trait. Antagonism is another trait, seeking conflict. So there are hereditary traits which predispose people including narcissists and psychopaths to behave in ways which are defiant. My way or the highway f off you know this kind of behavior and narcissist and psychopath cherish the freedom to behave this way. They do they refuse to be constrained or restrained. They refuse to adhere to any mores or codes or norms which would somehow inhibit them. In this sense, one could say that
18. 12:54 narcissism and psychopathy are disinhibitory disorders. But there is a much deeper more profound background to all this. Frustrating people is a power play. I have the I have the capacity. I have the ability. I have the willw. I have the power to cause you discomfort, to fr to prevent you from accomplishing your goals, to uh inflict on you pain and hurt. There’s a bit of sadism here, latent or overt. Frustrating is a power play and it’s about who who wins. It’s a it’s a competitive power play narcissism and psychopathy are disinhibitory disorders. But there is a much deeper more profound background to all this. Frustrating people is a power play. I have the I have the capacity. I have the ability. I have the willw. I have the power to cause you discomfort, to fr to prevent you from accomplishing your goals, to uh inflict on you pain and hurt. There’s a bit of sadism here, latent or overt. Frustrating is a power play and it’s about who who wins. It’s a it’s a competitive power play
19. 13:43 and it involves nonresrocity, exploitiveness and transactional strategies. The psychopath and narcissist consider people as investments the way we normal healthy people consider investments. They seek to have a return on investment. And when the asset depreciates or is devalued or is considered uh inferior to other asset classes, the narcissists and psychopaths dispose of people the way we dispose of investments or plastic bottles. So frustrating people is a core strategy, core feature in maintaining the narcissist and and it involves nonresrocity, exploitiveness and transactional strategies. The psychopath and narcissist consider people as investments the way we normal healthy people consider investments. They seek to have a return on investment. And when the asset depreciates or is devalued or is considered uh inferior to other asset classes, the narcissists and psychopaths dispose of people the way we dispose of investments or plastic bottles. So frustrating people is a core strategy, core feature in maintaining the narcissist and
20. 14:29 psychopaths self-perception as omnipotent, self-sufficient and therefore invulnerable. Frustrating people is anxolytic. It reduces abandonment, anxiety, separation, insecurity, the perception of risk. If you are stronger than other people, if you have the capacity to hurt people, if you can prevent people from accomplishing their goals, if you can cause people to disregulate, break them apart, then you’re godlike. Because you’re godlike, you are invulnerable, untouchable, impermeable. This reduces anxiety. And the first core psychopaths self-perception as omnipotent, self-sufficient and therefore invulnerable. Frustrating people is anxolytic. It reduces abandonment, anxiety, separation, insecurity, the perception of risk. If you are stronger than other people, if you have the capacity to hurt people, if you can prevent people from accomplishing their goals, if you can cause people to disregulate, break them apart, then you’re godlike. Because you’re godlike, you are invulnerable, untouchable, impermeable. This reduces anxiety. And the first core
21. 15:19 motivation for defined behaviors is that ironically and paradoxically they are perceived by the narcissist and psychopath as anxolytic. I’m saying paradoxically because these behaviors actually enha increase risk. They enhance danger. These behaviors are counterproductive. These behaviors drive other people to punish the narcissist and the psychopath. These behaviors usually yield adverse outcomes and consequences. They are not efficacious. They are exactly the opposite. And whereas a rational person would motivation for defined behaviors is that ironically and paradoxically they are perceived by the narcissist and psychopath as anxolytic. I’m saying paradoxically because these behaviors actually enha increase risk. They enhance danger. These behaviors are counterproductive. These behaviors drive other people to punish the narcissist and the psychopath. These behaviors usually yield adverse outcomes and consequences. They are not efficacious. They are exactly the opposite. And whereas a rational person would
22. 16:01 understand easily and instantly that confronting other people as a strategy, conflicting conflicting with society at large and its institutions is not a good idea. The narcissists and psychopaths perceive this as a reassuring kind of behavioral pattern. The stronger they are, the more resilient they are, the more impermeable and invulnerable they are, the more untouchable they perceive themselves to be. They develop a sense of impunity and impunity and immunity. These behaviors therefore the my way or understand easily and instantly that confronting other people as a strategy, conflicting conflicting with society at large and its institutions is not a good idea. The narcissists and psychopaths perceive this as a reassuring kind of behavioral pattern. The stronger they are, the more resilient they are, the more impermeable and invulnerable they are, the more untouchable they perceive themselves to be. They develop a sense of impunity and impunity and immunity. These behaviors therefore the my way or
23. 16:41 the highway, f off, f you, all these kind of behaviors that you know I am a law unto myself. You will not tell me what to do. No one tells me what to do. I’m, you know, I make the rules. These behaviors are constant reminders and proof, evidence of independence in the eyes of the narcissist and the psychopath. You see, deep inside the narcissist does not feel independent. The narcissist is highly dependent on input and feedback from other people known as narcissistic supply. is a junkie. So narcissists and psychopaths, the highway, f off, f you, all these kind of behaviors that you know I am a law unto myself. You will not tell me what to do. No one tells me what to do. I’m, you know, I make the rules. These behaviors are constant reminders and proof, evidence of independence in the eyes of the narcissist and the psychopath. You see, deep inside the narcissist does not feel independent. The narcissist is highly dependent on input and feedback from other people known as narcissistic supply. is a junkie. So narcissists and psychopaths,
24. 17:22 they realize they’re not really independent, but exactly the opposite, highly dependent, and they resent this. And they need to prove them to themselves time and again to demonstrate to themselves irreversibly, irrevocably, and unambiguously that they are independent, that they possess personal autonomy to a degree that no one else does. And so these kind of behaviors, defiance, consumaciousness, in your face, my way or the highway, I make the rules, the law doesn’t apply to me. These kind of behaviors are constant they realize they’re not really independent, but exactly the opposite, highly dependent, and they resent this. And they need to prove them to themselves time and again to demonstrate to themselves irreversibly, irrevocably, and unambiguously that they are independent, that they possess personal autonomy to a degree that no one else does. And so these kind of behaviors, defiance, consumaciousness, in your face, my way or the highway, I make the rules, the law doesn’t apply to me. These kind of behaviors are constant
25. 18:00 proofs of independence, self-sufficiency, superiority, omnipotence, and uniqueness. Even when these behaviors are actually self-deeating, selfharming, self-destructive, self-sacrificial and self-trashing. I mentioned the example of the cerebral narcissist who would frustrate potential sexual partners because proving to himself that he is superior to other people by not needing sex, that he is capable of forgoing sex where others are incapable of it. proving to himself his superiority, his uniqueness proofs of independence, self-sufficiency, superiority, omnipotence, and uniqueness. Even when these behaviors are actually self-deeating, selfharming, self-destructive, self-sacrificial and self-trashing. I mentioned the example of the cerebral narcissist who would frustrate potential sexual partners because proving to himself that he is superior to other people by not needing sex, that he is capable of forgoing sex where others are incapable of it. proving to himself his superiority, his uniqueness
26. 18:52 matters to him much more than getting laid. So the cerebral narcissist sacrifices his or her sex life, his or her sexuality just in order to prove to himself or to herself how special they are. special in the sense that they are amongst the very few who are impervious and invulnerable to sex that sexual partners have no power over the cerebral narcissist. So frustrating other people becomes an ideology and as as an ideology it constantly reinforces the narcissist behaviors, attitudes, motivations, matters to him much more than getting laid. So the cerebral narcissist sacrifices his or her sex life, his or her sexuality just in order to prove to himself or to herself how special they are. special in the sense that they are amongst the very few who are impervious and invulnerable to sex that sexual partners have no power over the cerebral narcissist. So frustrating other people becomes an ideology and as as an ideology it constantly reinforces the narcissist behaviors, attitudes, motivations,
27. 19:42 cognitions and emotions. It is rigid. It is structured. It is punitive. If you break the ideology, there’s a self-unitive mechanism and it channels behaviors in ways which ultimately are constricting and self-defeating. Frustration in this case often becomes selfsacrificial. The narcissist and the psychopath give up on pleasure, goal, accomplishment of goals, status in society. They give up on all these things just in order to prove to themselves that unlike other people, unlike the majority of cognitions and emotions. It is rigid. It is structured. It is punitive. If you break the ideology, there’s a self-unitive mechanism and it channels behaviors in ways which ultimately are constricting and self-defeating. Frustration in this case often becomes selfsacrificial. The narcissist and the psychopath give up on pleasure, goal, accomplishment of goals, status in society. They give up on all these things just in order to prove to themselves that unlike other people, unlike the majority of
28. 20:27 other people, they don’t need any of this. They don’t need sex. They don’t need love. They don’t need status. They don’t need academic degrees. They don’t need approval. They don’t need any of this. They’re beyond and be and and and and they are above all this. They’re godlike. Now, the narcissist of course requires approval. Narcissist self-enhances through the feedback and input from other people. But even as even as a narcissist seeks narcissistic supply, he would broadcast other people, they don’t need any of this. They don’t need sex. They don’t need love. They don’t need status. They don’t need academic degrees. They don’t need approval. They don’t need any of this. They’re beyond and be and and and and they are above all this. They’re godlike. Now, the narcissist of course requires approval. Narcissist self-enhances through the feedback and input from other people. But even as even as a narcissist seeks narcissistic supply, he would broadcast
29. 21:03 to you that he is doing you a favor. He would not broadcast neediness or clinginess like the borderline or the codependent. He would reframe the situation as if his presence is a gift, something you should pay for. And so if he is present in your life, of course you should provide him or her with an uninterrupted flow of highquality narcissistic supply. When all these strategies and ideologies and so on crumble to dust in the face of harsh reality which pushes back and refuses to compromise or reframe itself, to you that he is doing you a favor. He would not broadcast neediness or clinginess like the borderline or the codependent. He would reframe the situation as if his presence is a gift, something you should pay for. And so if he is present in your life, of course you should provide him or her with an uninterrupted flow of highquality narcissistic supply. When all these strategies and ideologies and so on crumble to dust in the face of harsh reality which pushes back and refuses to compromise or reframe itself,
30. 21:47 counterveailing information constantly floats floods the zone of the narcissist. The narcissist, narcissism, pathological narcissism and psychopathy are defensive postures. They are firewalls. They’re intended to keep out reality. They impair reality testing. But at some point, reality breaks the barriers. Reality impinges upon the fortress. Reality, the barbarians in the in not in at the gates, but inside the city. And the narcissist and psychopaths cannot anymore deny reality because there’s too counterveailing information constantly floats floods the zone of the narcissist. The narcissist, narcissism, pathological narcissism and psychopathy are defensive postures. They are firewalls. They’re intended to keep out reality. They impair reality testing. But at some point, reality breaks the barriers. Reality impinges upon the fortress. Reality, the barbarians in the in not in at the gates, but inside the city. And the narcissist and psychopaths cannot anymore deny reality because there’s too
31. 22:24 much of it. At that point, there’s a collapse. And the narcissists and psychopaths withdraw. They become skitsuit. The there’s a collapsed collapse induced avoidance because the delusions that underly the fantasy of the narcissist, the fantastic grandio inflated self-concept of the narcissist are no longer tenable and sustainable in the face of reality. And because a psychopath psychopath keep keeps failing and tripping himself up, shooting himself in the leg and and every other part of his anatomy, psychopaths are much of it. At that point, there’s a collapse. And the narcissists and psychopaths withdraw. They become skitsuit. The there’s a collapsed collapse induced avoidance because the delusions that underly the fantasy of the narcissist, the fantastic grandio inflated self-concept of the narcissist are no longer tenable and sustainable in the face of reality. And because a psychopath psychopath keep keeps failing and tripping himself up, shooting himself in the leg and and every other part of his anatomy, psychopaths are
32. 23:06 highly uh inefficacious and highly they they sabotage themselves. They’re self-destructive. So sooner or later there’s a collapse and the the fact that the situation is untenable, cannot be reconstructed um causes the psychopath and the narcissist to withdraw to avoid reality to isolate themselves to become schizoid. All the above finally ends up in a sorry state of social isolation. People cancel the narcissist and the psychopath. People go no contact with the narcissist and the psychopath. People shun them. highly uh inefficacious and highly they they sabotage themselves. They’re self-destructive. So sooner or later there’s a collapse and the the fact that the situation is untenable, cannot be reconstructed um causes the psychopath and the narcissist to withdraw to avoid reality to isolate themselves to become schizoid. All the above finally ends up in a sorry state of social isolation. People cancel the narcissist and the psychopath. People go no contact with the narcissist and the psychopath. People shun them.
33. 23:54 And this avoidance by society coupled with the skitsoid solution, the avoidant solution to collapse. You put the two together, it severely impairs efficacy. Narcissists and psychopaths always end up as losers regardless in the pos of the position in society, how much money they have and so on. They always end up being losers. They end up being losers because they avoid society, painful, hurtful reality grounded society. They avoid it. They avoid the the world. They avoid reality. and society avoids them. And this avoidance by society coupled with the skitsoid solution, the avoidant solution to collapse. You put the two together, it severely impairs efficacy. Narcissists and psychopaths always end up as losers regardless in the pos of the position in society, how much money they have and so on. They always end up being losers. They end up being losers because they avoid society, painful, hurtful reality grounded society. They avoid it. They avoid the the world. They avoid reality. and society avoids them.
34. 24:35 Society shuns them. And so there’s no interface, there’s no surface of interaction. And finally, um, narcissists and psychopaths resort to self- supply, substance use. And when this doesn’t work, soci suicidal ideiation is common, emotional dysregulation, emotional dysregulation, and in some cases suicide. So this is the sequence. The narcissists and psychopaths much cherished, much hallowed, much woripped, defiant substitute for independence. Their consumatiousness, their rejection, Society shuns them. And so there’s no interface, there’s no surface of interaction. And finally, um, narcissists and psychopaths resort to self- supply, substance use. And when this doesn’t work, soci suicidal ideiation is common, emotional dysregulation, emotional dysregulation, and in some cases suicide. So this is the sequence. The narcissists and psychopaths much cherished, much hallowed, much woripped, defiant substitute for independence. Their consumatiousness, their rejection,
35. 25:22 their rebelliousness, their in your face, my way or the highway, I make the rules, etc., etc., ultimately backfire. It’s a nonsustainable proposition. We are dependent on other people. We are embedded in society. We consume services and goods. There’s no way around this. People are going to tell us things. People are going to push back. People are going to criticize and disagree. There’s no way around these behaviors. And no amount of delusion or fantasy and no amount of goal orientation, the case their rebelliousness, their in your face, my way or the highway, I make the rules, etc., etc., ultimately backfire. It’s a nonsustainable proposition. We are dependent on other people. We are embedded in society. We consume services and goods. There’s no way around this. People are going to tell us things. People are going to push back. People are going to criticize and disagree. There’s no way around these behaviors. And no amount of delusion or fantasy and no amount of goal orientation, the case
36. 25:55 of psychopathy, can compensate for this. Ultimately the walls come tumbling down. It all crumbles. House of cards disintegrates and the narcissist remains confronted with his own emptiness, the void that constitutes pathological narcissism. And the psychopath is left with an extreme sense of humiliation and shame. having failed repeatedly. And then they try self- supply and this also has a limited shelf life. And ultimately they’re confronted with reality. And there’s no protection, no defense of psychopathy, can compensate for this. Ultimately the walls come tumbling down. It all crumbles. House of cards disintegrates and the narcissist remains confronted with his own emptiness, the void that constitutes pathological narcissism. And the psychopath is left with an extreme sense of humiliation and shame. having failed repeatedly. And then they try self- supply and this also has a limited shelf life. And ultimately they’re confronted with reality. And there’s no protection, no defense
37. 26:47 against it anymore. And reality comes through the front door and devours them whole. Nothing is left to tell the tale of the towering lone wolf, rebellious hero, the um glamorized, mythologized, eulogized, admired, uh rebel, the fierce zealot, the independent mind. None of this remains. None of this leaves anything behind. There is no legacy in any of this. It is a solitary game that leads ultimately to a pseudocychotic state and an abdication, a rejection of life as Hervy Cleley called it. against it anymore. And reality comes through the front door and devours them whole. Nothing is left to tell the tale of the towering lone wolf, rebellious hero, the um glamorized, mythologized, eulogized, admired, uh rebel, the fierce zealot, the independent mind. None of this remains. None of this leaves anything behind. There is no legacy in any of this. It is a solitary game that leads ultimately to a pseudocychotic state and an abdication, a rejection of life as Hervy Cleley called it.