Tip: click a paragraph to jump to the exact moment in the video. Narcissist’s MELTDOWN: Becomes Raging Borderline, Psychopath (Narcissism Summaries YouTube Channel)

1. 00:01 When the narcissist is faced with stress and anxiety and frustration, the narcissist transitions sometimes depending on the extent the narcissist transition sometimes into a borderline state. His defenses shut down and he emotionally disregulates. If the
2. 00:16 condition, if the environment, the frustrating environment persists, the narcissist transitions to a primary psychopathic state. He becomes a psychopath. The borderline transitions to a secondary psychopathic state. So both the borderline and the narcissist
3. 00:31 they have a low frustration threshold, low tolerance for frustration and this leads the narcissist to desperate attempts to eliminate the source of frustration. In the case of the narcissist, frustration does breed aggression. But in healthy people, the aggression is
4. 00:53 intended to signal displeasure, discomfort, and modify the other party’s behavior. When you’re frustrated, and if you’re mentally healthy, relatively speaking, your aggression would be intended to change the behavior of the person who is frustrating you or to
5. 01:12 modify the environment in a way which would reduce frustration. It’s not the case with the narcissist. The narcissist aggression is externalized. It’s reckless. It often culminates in verbal or physical violence. And this is the process known as coercive snapshot.
6. 01:33 The narcissist aggression is intended to try to force you to conform to his expectations of you to try to force you to coalesce with to merge with with the internal object in his mind that represents you. He wants you, the narcissist wants you to stop existing
7. 01:54 outside his mind and to fuse sympotically with the object in his mind that represents you in this way of course to eliminate the frustration. And if you refuse, if you refuse to shut up, if you refuse to succumb, if you refuse to be submissive, if you refuse to be
8. 02:14 obedient, if you insist on your independence and personal autonomy and agency and self-efficacy, if you walk away, if you in any of these cases, the narcissist would try to act in a way that would either eradicate you, obliterate you, eliminate you,
9. 02:33 annihilate you, or coersse you into behaving the way he wants to and this could culminate and escalate into physical violence. Definitely narcissists perceive perceive frustration as emanating from the inside. You remember that uh narcissists are incapable of
10. 02:58 um perceiving external objects. They’re they’re incapable of conceptualizing the separateness and the externality of objects. So as far as the narcissist is concerned, you don’t exist out there. There’s no external object that is you. There’s
11. 03:18 only the internal object inside his mind that represents you. And he goes on interacting only with the internal object. So if you frustrate the narcissist, he doesn’t perceive it as coming from the outside. He he mispersceives it as coming from the inside. And his aggression is
12. 03:41 actually an attempt to reduce dissolence and anxiety by somehow modifying you so that you again become a compliant internal object. It’s an internal inside job. It’s not nothing to do with the outside. Walking away won’t do the trick because narcissists
13. 04:05 interact exclusively with internal objects. They dehumanize you and then they objectify you. You become a figment. You become an avatar and introject in the narcissist’s mind. So the narcissist can’t just up and walk away. Say you’re frustrating me. I’m
14. 04:23 going to I’m out of here. I don’t want to be exposed to your frustration, so I’m out of here. He can’t do that because he carries you in his mind and you keep frustrating him from the inside unless and until he gets rid of you psychologically, via in training or
15. 04:44 brainwashing, physically, through violence, or by coercing you to behave in a way which does not challenge, undermine and contradict the internal object. Unless he accomplishes one of these three solutions, it the frustration, the nagging frustration is going to persist because
16. 05:03 it emanates comes from the internal object in his mind that represents you. Your avatar is attacking him from the inside like some kind of Trojan horse or fifth column. Now I mentioned that the narcissist transitions to a borderline self state under conditions of extreme duress,
17. 05:27 stress and tension and anxiety. The borderline self state is impulsive and destructive. That is the famous narcissistic rage attacks. The tempered tantrums they are actually a borderline self state, not a narcissistic self state. So more appropriately it wouldn’t
18. 05:45 be called narcissistic rage but borderline rage or disregulated rageh coffee in the morning. The psychopathic cold state which in the narcissist is a primary psychopathic self state. The classic psychopath is called premeditated, ruthless, callous,
19. 06:07 relentless, inhumanly disempathic. No empathy there. both the borderline state and the psychopath the primary psychopath state a fantasy oriented because narcissism is a fantasy defense gun haywire gun or so everything is infused with fantasy even these self
20. 06:29 states are fantastic and they involve impaired reality testing but the psychopathic self state in the narcissist is truly terrifying Think Chris Watts. It’s a truly terrifying state. It’s preceded by a covert state. So when the narcissist transitions under stress, under anxiety
21. 06:54 as a result of frustration, mortification, extreme narcissistic injury, when he transitions to a borderline state and then from a borderline state to a psychopathic state, he goes through a covert phase. There’s a covert phase like a bridge between the borderline and the
22. 07:11 psychopathic state. And during the covert phase, he appears to be completely normal. He suddenly becomes totally normal. He doesn’t rage. He’s not angry. He is he seeks consensus. He compromises. He’s caring. He may even be loving. He is he is perfect. He’s a
23. 07:36 perfect ideal partner. He’s a bit ponderous, a bit brooding, a bit spiteful, somewhat passive aggressive. There’s the hints of sarcasm and bitterness. He’s determined, but he is evasive. He denies that there’s any problem. He’s overly polite.