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1. 00:02 We all know them. Public figures, pillars of the community, unimpeachable patriarchs, towering matriarchs, hectoring public intellectuals, gurus who profess empathy even as they castigate and chastise their flock and anyone who would listen. We all know
2. 00:26 them, the sadistic pro-social narcissists. My name is Samvaknin. I’m the author of Malignant Self-Love, Narcissism Revisited, and a professor of psychology. And I’m here to hector you.
3. 00:45 What are we talking about? We are talking about unforgiving, sadistic narcissists who masquerade, estrocial, communal, empathic, compassionate, loving, caring when they are not. Narcissists of all stripes, pro-social narcissists, not the least of all, have no inner compass.
4. 01:15 In Freudian lingo, they have no functioning super ego or conscience. They have no guidance, internal navigation system. They don’t know what’s right and what’s wrong, where they are going and why. They are disoriented. And this is why narcissists
5. 01:37 reach out to other people, reach out to the environment in order to regulate themselves internally. So they outsource their internal regulation. We call this external regulation because the inputs and feedbacks from other people serve to harmonize and stabilize the internal
6. 01:58 landscape of such of of the narcissist. The narcissist is incapable of doing this by himself or herself similar to the borderline. And so narcissists are reliant on other people, dependent on other people. Consequently, they’re terrified of losing access to other people.
7. 02:18 Were they to be isolated, were they to be shunned and ostracized, narcissists would fall apart, disintegrate in the absence of phoning and agilating and information and stimuli emanating from other people. The narcissist is nothing. a void, a black hole, howling deep
8. 02:43 space. There’s nothing there. There’s nobody there. It’s an absence masquerading as a presence. And the person who knows this best is the narcissist. The narcissist resents this dependence on other people. The narcissist hates the fact that he or she
9. 03:02 cannot survive without other people. that other people’s ministrations, other people’s reactions, other people’s stimuli, other people’s information, other people’s interactions are the only thing standing between the narcissist and total self annihilation,
10. 03:22 total evaporation, total dissipation. The narcissist resents this fact. And so inbuilt into pathological narcissism is an overpowering allervading all permeating sense of injustice. The narcissist feels injustice all the time. The narcissist by his own
11. 03:46 definition in his own books is a victim. a sympteral victim, eternal victim, perpetual victim by virtue of extreme unmititigated dependence on other people without which and without whom the narcissist cannot survive. The narcissist says to himself in this
12. 04:07 hidden monologue that is not accessible to the narcissist consciousness and awareness. But the inner monologue is here I am superior, godlike, omniscient, omnipotent, a genius, drop deadad gorgeous. Here I am so supreme and yet so objectly dependent on other people
13. 04:29 who are my inferiors, much less than me. This is injustice and I’m a victim. One of the coping strategies regarding this dissonance between extreme dependence and self-concept as superior. I mean how can you be superior and dependent at the same time? You
14. 04:51 can’t. So this creates dissonance. This creates an inner conflict. This creates irreconcilable tension. And one of the coping strategies, one of the solutions is what we call the pro-ocial or communal narcissist. The pro-ocial or communal narcissist
15. 05:07 regards himself or herself as the guardian of morality, the crusader for law and order and structure, a champion of justice and fairness, the upholder of immutable values, an arbiter of aesthetics, a fierce educator, tough love, a beacon of awakening and enlightenment because The
16. 05:34 narcissist sees through all falsity and spectacle with the beam of his extreme intelligence and penetrative gaze. The narcissist, the pro-ocial communal narcissist has a self-concept as a historical or cosmic change agent, a reformer, a revolutionary, a builder of legacy and
17. 05:58 empires, a morality player on the side of good versus evil. Only the narcissist is all good. Everyone else is by definition evil. This is known as a primitive infantile defense mechanism of splitting. And so the narcissist is the long arm and the raification of
18. 06:21 God on earth. A kind of erat Jesus. He is also an extension of the collective. The long arm of the collective and the verification the embodiment the personification of the will of the collective. It is a grandio personal relationship with supreme beings, with
19. 06:42 God, with powerful people, with collectives, with the nation, with history and and so on so forth. There this personal one-on-one relationship. And the narcissist is at the center of attention, at the core of happenings. And so the pro-ocial or communal narcissist
20. 07:02 resolves this dissonance between dependence and self-imputed superiority by claiming to be engaged in a mission which demands that he adheres or caters
21. 07:18 to other people demands that he’s in touch with other people. Like the pro-ocial communal narcissist says, if I had my way, if I had a choice, I would not be reliant or dependent on other people. But the mission demands it, history demands it, my family demands
22. 07:34 it, values demand it, culture wars demand it, collectives demand it. Without me, things are not going to happen. They’re not going to move forward. Without me, everything will deteriorate and degenerate. I’m the last bull work. I’m the last dam. and the
23. 07:50 last defense against everything that’s happening at the firewall. All these self assigned roles give the narcissist the right to be disciplinarian, strict, harsh, unforgiving, rigid and aggressive. aggressive both as an external object which in which case this could easily
24. 08:14 deteriorate or degenerate into violence and also aggressive as an introject an internal object implanted in the minds of other people. This kind of narcissist is highly punitive. Of course, all this is a desperate pathetic attempt to project an unrelenting and unappeasible
25. 08:36 inner reality. the usually parental internalized bed object, the constellation and coalition and congregation of voices inside the narcissist that keeps keep informing the narcissist how ugly and stupid and inadequate he is, how or she is, how they would
26. 08:56 never measure up to any good. They would accomplish nothing. To quell these voices, to silence them, the narcissist creates an external narrative known as the false self. And in the case of the pro-ocial and communal narcissist, the external
27. 09:13 narrative encompasses massive numbers of people, the household, the church, the nation, the political party, you name it. More people, not only the narcissist. In this sense, pro-social and communal narcissism is a first cousin or a close relative of
28. 09:33 psychosis because in psychosis, in psychotic disorders, we have a dynamic. We have a clinical feature known as hyperreflexivity where the psychotic individual expands outwards and consumes the world, consumes the environment, digests the universe, renders them an integral part
29. 09:54 of himself or herself. Pro-ocial and communal narcissist does exactly the same. He or she expands outwards, rendering the world nothing but a playground, an extension, a reflection, a mirroring of the communal pro-ocial narcissist. The world is just a chess board and the
30. 10:18 communal pro-social narcissist is dictating the rules of the game, the everchanging rules of the game, enforcing discipline upon the game and then driving for victory on behalf of others. Of course, this is totally unselfish, claims the pro-ocial communal
31. 10:34 narcissist. I’m doing this for your own good. This is tough love. I’m compassionate and caring and loving and empathic. Don’t you see? You don’t see something’s wrong with you. Of course. Hello plastic defenses.