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1. 00:02 In the human psyche, love and sexuality are two intertwined, interconnected and mutually reinforcing energies. This observation was made by Ziggman Freud who coined the words libido or actually leverage the words libido and aeros. Libido is the sex drive. Aos is
2. 00:32 the life power, the elanal, the desire to live. And he claimed that the libido, the sexual energy is an integral part and possibly even the foundation and cornerstone of our desire to go on living. Today I'm going to discuss what happens when sexuality goes.
3. 01:02 What happens when the sex drive, the energy of sex, the libido to use Freud's term is misdirected is somehow acquires unusual targets. My name is Sam Vagnin. a propon unusual targets and I'm uh the author of malignant self- loveve narcissism revisited and a professor of psychology
4. 01:32 we use the word paraphilia to describe a situation where sexuality becomes highly unusual. We no longer use the word perversion. We no longer use the word deviance. We don't exert judgment. We don't sit in judgment of other people's um sex drive, sexual orientation and sexual
5. 01:55 predilctions and preferences. But we do recognize that there is a spectrum of human sexuality and that vast majority of people are somehow in in the middle or in the center. Whereas there are outliers in terms of the objects and situations which cause sexual arousal.
6. 02:19 Paraphilia is defined in the American Psychological Association dictionary. Thus paraphilia in the DSM fourth edition text revision. Paraphilia is any of a group of disorders in which unusual or bizarre fantasies or behavior unnecessary for sexual excitement.
7. 02:42 The fantasies or acts persist over a period of at least 6 months and they may take several forms. Preference for nonhuman objects such as animals or clothes of the opposite sex. repetitive sexual activity involving real or simulated suffering or humiliation
8. 03:03 as in whipping or bondage or repetitive sexual activity with non-consenting partners. Paraphilas include such specific types as fetishism, fraterism, pedophilia, exhibitionism, voyerism, sexual mazoism, sexual sadism, and necrilia. In the DSM5 and the DSM5 text revision,
9. 03:29 paraphilia is considered a paraphilic disorder only if it causes distress or impairment to the individual or if its practices harmed or risks harming other people. Paraphiliac practices. So paraphilia is a diversion of sexuality, the psychic energy of
10. 03:51 sexuality, the libido from external objects to internal objects. And in this sense, paraphilas are closely aligned or at least mimic the main the foundational process in pathological narcissism. I divide paraphilas into several groups. The first one is the autoerotic
11. 04:16 murbatory group of paraphilas. These are paraphilas that involve using objects or objectifying people in order to attain sexual arousal, gratification and consumation. Ejaculation is conditioned upon ejaculation or orgasm are conditioned upon the interaction between the individual
12. 04:43 and something that is perceived as an object. It could be a sin synci in other words part of something part of the body a piece of clothing which represent the whole or it could be the imaginary objectifying of breathing living talking human beings
13. 05:08 treating them as objects inanimate objects. Be that as it may, in all these situations the sexual target, sometimes the sexual partner are treated as muratory aids. These people, these paraphilas involve masturbation as the main activity and autoerotism
14. 05:36 regarding one's own body as a sexual object or even the exclusive sexual object. Now, this is a very partial description of this group of paraphilas because I have a video that I've already made a few years ago um about the topic. So go to the description, find the link, click on
15. 06:00 this link, and you'll learn a lot more about paraphilas that involve fetishism, body parts, items, objects, and why all these have to do essentially with a representation of the external world in the mind of the paraphiliac individual. So that the paraphilic paraphilic
16. 06:26 individual can masturbate with other people's bodies with other people's body parts with objects with pieces of clothing items of clothing and so on. These are all murbatory aids aids to masturbation. They all involve a perception of the body of one's own body as an arousing,
17. 06:51 exciting sexual object. A phenomenon known as autoerotism. Again, autoerotism is a key clinical feature in pathological narcissism. And this group of paraphilas is highly linked in my view and in my work to the various psychonamics and processes and
18. 07:16 even theology of pathological narcissism in adults. However, this is only one group of paraphilas. The second group of paraphilas is the situational narrative paraphilas. These are paraphilas that depend on a story, on a piece of fiction, on a
19. 07:38 narrative. These paraphilas emanate from the narrative. The excitement, the arousal, the orgasm, the whole process of sexual gratification, the redirection of sexual energy, they all involve a story line. Within this story, which highly depends on specific contexts and specific
20. 08:02 physical situations, within this story, the individual, the paraphiliac individual u could be for example a savior using sex to save the sexual partner, using sex to save the community, a communal pro-social paraphilia. Whereas there is a perception that one could
21. 08:27 leverage the sex act even non-consensual sex act to somehow benefit the community or the greater good or prevent something bad from happening. Similarly in other kinds of narratives paraphilic paraphilic individual perceives himself or herself
22. 08:48 as a master. So these are subdominance submission narratives and they involve explicit um degradation of the partner, a defiling of the partner. Other types of narratives involve slave a defined slave narrative, a rebellion narrative where the sex is
23. 09:15 used in order to somehow narrate a social relationship. It's a socioultural kind of mode of expression. Arahophilia is deeply embedded some kind of ideology about for example class relations or relations between poor and rich. Be that as as it may, in all these
24. 09:44 situations, there's an overriding script or story line which goes hand in hand with highly specific um spaces, physical spaces. And within these physical spaces, the narrative is enacted. It's a form of theater production or a movie wherein the
25. 10:07 paraphilic individual fulfills a certain role and people around the paraphilic individual and are objectified. They become objects as well as inanimate objects. All of them serve to enhance and the narrative the script and integrate in it. So these are the situational narrative
26. 10:35 paraphilas. And then we have the acquisitive paraphilas. Paraphilas which are concerned mainly with acquiring a target, taking control over a target, manipulating someone or something. The three types of acquisitive paraphilas. The acquisitive anxolytic paraphilia.
27. 11:01 This is a paraphilia where the paraphiliac individual would attempt to deanimate the sexual partner symbolically and metaphorically luckily in the vast majority of cases. This deanimation of the of the partner which in its extreme becomes necrilia.
28. 11:27 But this deanation of the partner serves to amilarate and mitigate deep set separation, insecurity, abandonment, anxiety, catastrophizing, anticipation of rejection, humiliation and abandonment. So the acquisition of the target has to do with a reduction an attempt to
29. 11:51 reduce anxiety. The targets independence and autonomy personal autonomy and agency they're perceived as very threatening. It is by the animating the target one way or another physically or metaph metaphorically in the imagination. is by in in deanimating the target, rendering
30. 12:13 the target inert, dead, immo. Only then
31. 12:19 could the sexual interaction proceed without the attended debilitating anxiety. So these are acquisitive anxolytic paraphilas. Then we have acquisitive idealizing paraphilas. These are paraphilas that involves cycles of idealization and devaluation
32. 12:44 whereby the sexual partner, the sexual target, the sexual object even are somehow idealized. Even the concept of synci is a form of idealization where an item of clothing or a body part is elevated aandized expanded to include the whole. The part represents the totality. A body
33. 13:13 part a foot breast represent the total individual whose foot or breast they are. So these are acquisitive idealizing paraphilas. The perception of the sexual target be it another person or an inanimate object. The perception is always unrealistic, fantastic, counterfactual.
34. 13:42 Sometimes um the perception is almost hallucinatory and the object the sexual object or the sexual target is either idealized or devalued and the sex act the sexual interaction is an attempt to sustain and butress and uphold this idealized or devalued perception the secretary
35. 14:09 perception of the target of the sex. The arousal, the excitement have to do with the elation of conforming the external object to the perception of the external object within the paraphiliac person's mind. This close harmony harmonizing reality with
36. 14:34 the the the internal narrative. This harmonization creates an oceanic feeling. narcissistic elation. So this is the acquisitive idealizing paraphilia. And finally there's the acquisitive self-enhancing type of paraphilia. These are paraphilas that cater to the
37. 14:57 paraphiliac persons grandio fantastic inflated self-concept or self-perception. The paraphilia is used to somehow um butress or support the person's self-image which is counterfactual and unrealistic, delusional. But the paraphilia is constructed in a way that it fits into
38. 15:26 the fantasy and lends itself to
39. 15:32 uh verifying that the fantasy is actually real somehow sustaining the delusion. So we have three types of acquisitive paraphilas. The anxolytic type, the idealizing devaluing type and the self-enhancing type. We have als we also have situational narrative paraphilas
40. 15:55 and we have autoerotic mtorbatory paraphilas. Again I refer you to the video that I've made a few years ago. There's a link in the description. Any energy any psychic energy any cexis
41. 16:14 to use an antiquated term can be redirected The targets of the sexual drive are infinite in their variety. People get aroused and excited sexually by the most amazing things and one's sexual trigger is another person's object or so people react
42. 16:43 differently sexually to the very same thing to the very same person. That's why we are attracted sexually to certain people and we are not attracted to other people. So the energy the sexual energy is directional but it's also in principle diffuse. It can acquire targets.
43. 17:07 It can rewire itself. It can rewrite itself. Sexual energy is there ready to latch onto a sexual target in accordance with psychological needs. For example, to allay or reduce anxiety in accordance to in accordance with narratives or situations
44. 17:34 and in order to acquire finally a sexual partner or a sexual object or a sexual target to guarantee gratification and satisfaction. Paraphilas are situations situations where this process goes or where the part is substituted for the whole where animate objects are
45. 18:01 perceived as inanimate or are actively deanimated metaphorically or even physically where people are used uh as a kind of medication. The paraphiliac person self-medicates with people in order for example to reduce anxiety where people fit into fantasies and scripts
46. 18:26 in the movie that play is playing on the uh in the in the paraphilic person's mind. So the sex drive is like a Swiss knife. It is multi-purpose. It is not true that sexuality is predefined and rigid, completely untrue. And so that's why people can transition
47. 18:49 from heterosexuality for example to homosexuality depending on the context on the on the environment on the situation. Sexuality is highly plastic and highly elastic. And inevitably when you have at your dis when one has when you have at your disposal such energy
48. 19:12 that can home into home into anything basically and anyone in the margins in the fringes there would be outliers. These are people whose sexuality is fixated on modes of gratification, arousal and excitement which are perceived by other people as
49. 19:37 abnormal or deviant, pervert, perverted or whatever. And actually these paraphilic individuals are making love to themselves. It is the inversion of external and internal. The whole paraphiliac theater production, whole paraphiliac play or movie unfolds and unfurs and is
50. 20:04 projected inside the paraphiliac person's mind. And in this sense there is a close affinity between paraphilia the paraphiliac mind and the narcissistic mind which explains why narcissists are prone to sexual assertiveness, sexual aggression, kink kinky sex
51. 20:30 and much more prone to paraphilas than the general population. Because the mind of the narcissist is already pre-ordained and predetermined. It is nurtured on a diet of fantasy. The fantasy that involves a narcissist is the main trigger of sexual arousal and excitement
52. 20:56 via the dynamic of autoerotism. And then anything that enters the orbit of the narcissist can immediately be converted into a sexual trigger or sexual object or sexual target. Anything and anyone only the narcissist and the paraphiliac person make no distinction between
53. 21:21 things and people and even things and body parts of people. Everything is reduced into objects which generate cexis, libidinal cexes to use the language of um psychoanalysis and object relations. Everything is reduced and everyone is reduced to representations, symbols
54. 21:52 that trigger internal narratives that redirect the sexual energy inward by creating representations of the external objects within the mind, imbuing them with libido, and then making love to them internally. Making love to one's own mind in effect
55. 22:16 rendering oneself one's exclusive sexual partner.