Tip: click a paragraph to jump to the exact moment in the video.

1. 00:00 uh they should put him in prison or better in the mad house and lock him up because he's very he's very sick but he says he said this uh on one side very
2. 00:13 sad really sad but on the other side very proud he was proud like that but my question
3. 00:22 is he has in a way moral standards he knows the difference between right and
4. 00:29 wrong he just gives a but the damage he does or he did to me
5. 00:37 to others to wherever he he he met a very nice young girl very I I knew her and he trashes her to a
6. 00:48 and he told me he's a musician composer but in reality he was a pimp
7. 00:54 and I didn't see it well I'm over it but I've How do we get out of this this
8. 01:01 person abuses people morally psychologically physically and
9. 01:08 the legal system cannot grasp it yes because many this is a problem for me it's a problem i think it's a problem
10. 01:15 many of these actions strategies uh environments the narcissist creates
11. 01:22 immersive immersive environments which are very reminiscent of the metaverse creates alternative realities fantasy
12. 01:29 spaces and so how do you prove this the problem is there is no way to meet the burden of
13. 01:36 the evidence which is a synanon in criminal proceedings you must produce
14. 01:42 evidence it's not enough that you say something you know and it's very difficult to prove one thing you
15. 01:48 mentioned though is very interesting u narcissist psychopaths are affected they're emotionally invested in their own disorder
16. 01:59 because their disorder makes in the case of the narcissist that his disorder makes him unique makes him special so
17. 02:07 narcissist would tend even to exaggerate his madness or his sickness because the more you exaggerate the sickness the
18. 02:13 more special you are the more unique you are and at the same time you would be proud of this asset the asset of madness
19. 02:22 the asset of you know so they tend to exaggerate the disorder and I'm not talking only about verbally exaggerating the disorder but crazym they would they
20. 02:33 would tend to act as a as caricaturures they would tend to to be like animated
21. 02:40 animated figures in a cartoon they would exaggerate their behaviors in order to
22. 02:46 support the claim that their disorder is unique their craziness has never been
23. 02:52 seen before unprecedented they so because the narcissist are not invested in being the best it's not true
24. 02:59 it's a myth narcissist doesn't want to be the best or the greatest or that's complete nonsense narcissist want to be
25. 03:06 unique if the narcissist can be unique as a failure that's okay narcissist would say
26. 03:14 "My company went bankrupt and it was the biggest bankruptcy in the history of my country." And that's a cause for
27. 03:21 grandiosity narcissist would say "You can't imagine how many times and to which extent I've been victimized i have never met a victim like me never." I'm the greatest victim ever that's cause for or a
28. 03:38 narcissist would say I constantly fail there has been a single case that I
29. 03:44 succeeded and I don't know any other person on earth who only fails but I
30. 03:50 only fail and that's cause for grandiosity or a narcissist would say women hate me i try to date but I've
31. 03:58 been rejected by every woman ever that is cause for grandiosity and that is why
32. 04:05 incelss involuntary celibates this community of incelss they're actually narcissists the incelss are narcissist but ironically if you go to the communities they diminish themselves the
33. 04:18 the incel would say "I'm ugly i'm stupid women don't want me i'm repulsive i'm
34. 04:24 repulsive i disgust women." And so on but they're competing who is more disgusting who is more repulsive who is
35. 04:31 more stupid who is more ugly they're competing when you see this element of
36. 04:37 competition this is the foundation of grandiosity look how specialized look how unique similarly in victim communities communities of empaths they compete your abuser is nothing compared to my abuser the suffering what I
37. 04:53 suffered no one suffered and they begin to they become aggressive and violent if someone challenges this and said no I'm
38. 05:00 sorry but your suffering is can never be compared to my suffering what they become violent and so on so so yes
39. 05:08 there's a lot of cexis a lot of emotional investment in the in the disorder which leads again to the issue
40. 05:16 of criminalizing the disorder the the narcissist
41. 05:22 because he is proud of his disorder because it is a core element in his
42. 05:28 false self you said he doesn't have a disorder he is the disorder he is a disorder because of this it's very
43. 05:36 difficult to criminalize because you would be criminalizing an ent an entire personality type that is very difficult to even when we
44. 05:47 pathies pathize an entire personality type we feel very uncomfortable so we
45. 05:53 say for example don't don't say a narcissist say someone with narcissistic
46. 05:59 personality disorder don't say a borderline say she has borderline personality disorder but that's nonsense of course someone with narcissistic personality disorder is a narcissist and
47. 06:12 nothing but a narcissist period there's nothing there except the narcissism or the borderline and so how do you pathize
48. 06:19 this do you go to court and pathize a personality type
49. 06:25 uh even with psychopathy we don't dare to do this for example there have been proposals
50. 06:31 interesting proposals um to criminalize psychopathy
51. 06:37 preemptively to diagnose people with psychopathy and put them in in in detention in prison
52. 06:44 they didn't do anything they didn't commit any crimes but preemptively to create a colony for psychopaths you
53. 06:50 diagnose someone with psychopathy boom you're in a colony out of society away
54. 06:56 there were proposals like this but they were rejected because you cannot criminalize a personality type our legal
55. 07:04 system starting in the 19th century more or less but even before Kamurabi Hamuabi's
56. 07:12 code is the same is based on action and the consequences of actions it is not
57. 07:18 based on potentials and the consequences of potentials but on actions
58. 07:24 so even if you have someone who says "I'm going to kill women all the time
59. 07:31 i'm going to cut them with a knife i'm going to eviscerate them i'm going to you know goes into details of what he's
60. 07:38 going to do to women and so on so forth you can't do anything to this kind of person nothing the whole system is not built on potentials intentions motivations
61. 07:49 attitudes and so on is built on not even actions but the consequences of the actions okay how can we protect ourself from narcissistic people you said the
62. 08:01 famous phrase no contact for for one example why is no contact so important
63. 08:07 because narcissism is contagious uh studies in Harvard
64. 08:17 Madi and others studies showed that 3 second exposure to a narcissist has an
65. 08:23 impact on you 3 seconds all studies show that 30 seconds of
66. 08:29 exposure 30 seconds of exposure already create extreme internal dissolence and a
67. 08:36 bad feeling known as the uncanny value reaction 30 seconds the exposure doesn't
68. 08:42 even have to be face to face uh studies demonstrated that being exposed to emails by a narcissist or a video of a narcissist shorter than
69. 08:54 30 seconds or a photo steel single steel of a narcissist already create extreme
70. 09:01 internal dissonance and and a really really bad feeling and that is 30 seconds now imagine if
71. 09:08 you're exposed to the narcissist for two years or 20 years the narcissism is contagious in the sense that it takes
72. 09:15 away who you are your identity and replaces it with another identity
73. 09:21 and then gradually in order to survive you have to emulate and imitate a narcissist you have to begin to behave
74. 09:28 the way a narcissist does you have to fight back by becoming the narcissist the only way it's the only strategy or a
75. 09:35 psychopath even so it's contagious in the sense that the only viable survival
76. 09:41 strategy in the fantastic space the narcissist constructs is to become a narcissist because the alternative to
77. 09:48 not becoming a narcissist if you choose to not become a narcissist the alternative is to disappear
78. 09:54 the narcissist is intent and hellbent on eliminating you as a separate entity the
79. 10:01 narcissist cannot perceive your separateness and externality he needs you to not be separate and to not be
80. 10:08 external so he will bear on you he will use all manner of psychological strategies such
81. 10:15 as entrainment and mavelianism he will use everything at his disposal to
82. 10:21 gradually erase you as if he had some kind of eraser gradually erase you and
83. 10:27 repaints you inside repaint you inside his mind as a totally different idealized or devalued version of you and some people succumb some people
84. 10:38 accept this they get dean animated zombified they freeze in a way and then they they
85. 10:48 disappear in in in psychologically active sense they disappear they don't have agency
86. 10:57 and other people fight back but then to their horror they discover that fighting back means that they became narcissists and psychopaths this is why narcissists are frequently
87. 11:09 compared to vampires and because of that this this effect that if he sucks your
88. 11:15 blood you become a vampire too metaphorically speaking
89. 11:21 you said you can love the narcissist or you beat him there's nothing in between and you talked about also the uncanny valley what what what about this there's nothing in between that you can cope
90. 11:32 with a narcissist in a let's say normal healthy way yes you cannot manage a narcissist you cannot manage the shared
91. 11:39 fantasy which is the space the narcissist constructs that includes both of you or not only both of you but could
92. 11:45 be a whole nation narcissist constructs a fantasy and incorporates in the fantasy the internal objects the
93. 11:53 representations of people out there it's very important to understand that in the
94. 12:00 shared fantasy you don't exist it's the internal object that represents you in the narcissist mind and so then you become a threat you the real you out
95. 12:12 there you become a threat because within the shared fantasy there's a representation of you and you out there you're undermining this representation
96. 12:24 you're challenging it by behaving independently by diverging from the internal object by
97. 12:31 by somehow deviating from it so the narcissist needs to eliminate you you
98. 12:37 the external object so that you don't continue to challenge and undermine and destroy the internal object and that is
99. 12:46 the whole that is encapsulation of narcissistic abuse it's about this let
100. 12:52 away the soypistic behavior of a narcissist narcissists are social they need supply 247
101. 13:00 but they have in one way to deal with reality so what are they doing are they
102. 13:06 rendering everything what they see in an idealized or in a threatening persecuto
103. 13:13 object uh is this a cognitive dissonance for a narcissist reality and fantasy how
104. 13:21 do they cope with this no the narcissist doesn't see the distinction between
105. 13:27 reality and fantasy that is precisely why narcissists for example don't gaslight because they cannot tell the
106. 13:33 difference between reality and fantasy as far as a narcissist is concerned the only reality is his fantasy
107. 13:41 this creates problems because external separate objects people and not only people ideas beliefs values uh
108. 13:49 collectives institutions everything everyone and everything outside the narcissist fantastic space uh is not controlled by the narcissist
109. 14:01 so these external separate objects often challenge the fantasy space they
110. 14:09 push back they undermine the fantasy so the only viable strategy for the
111. 14:15 narcissist is to eliminate them either directly by controlling them and then molding them reshaping them until they disappear or indirectly by reframing them denying
112. 14:29 them pretending that they don't exist and and so on so one way or another the
113. 14:35 narcissist is busy all his life eliminating external separate objects
114. 14:42 all his life that's the main preoccupation of the narcissist is busy 99% of the time deleting
115. 14:49 other people so that the internal space populated by
116. 14:55 thousands of internal objects is not constantly impinged on or penetrated or
117. 15:02 invaded by external objects the external external reality is perceived as a
118. 15:09 constant threat so narcissism is a constant defense it's a it's a very
119. 15:16 defensive posture it's compensatory because the war it's a
120. 15:22 battle on two fronts there is external reality onto ontology ontological reality that is threatening the fantastic space but there is also internal reality that is threatening the
121. 15:35 fantastic space for example the narcissist shame so narcissists are busy all the time compensating for the internal reality for example via grandiosity i shouldn't be ashamed i'm God no and at the same time falsifying
122. 15:52 the external reality in a variety of ways converting objects directly via
123. 15:58 control and manipulation or eliminating them in an imaginary way they don't exist denying them it's a constant
124. 16:06 battle it's very energy consuming and depleting and the narcissist is is doing
125. 16:12 it every single second of of the day because inevitably the narcissist keeps meeting new people keeps participating
126. 16:18 in social activities keep going it goes to work he he needs to go to a hospital
127. 16:24 so this requires a constant revision of reality and and that is the main the
128. 16:31 main activity even he develops paranoid ideiation it could develop paranoid ideiation if there is a failure what we
129. 16:38 call collapse solarises would tend to develop paran ideation when they can't obtain supply or or when the external
130. 16:47 objects push back refuse to to be they're too intrusive for example
131. 16:53 they're too big to ignore to deny uh they're too independent-minded and and
132. 16:59 agentic and they they fight back and so whenever there's a push back from the environment and the narcissist is
133. 17:06 precariously balanced it's very very fragile and vulner and and it's a very fragile brittle structure because anything can destabilize it and destroy it completely and then the narcissist
134. 17:18 experiences narcissistic motification even when people talk in a room in a corner he thinks they're talking about
135. 17:24 him yes this is this is referential ideation in German they say
136. 17:32 relationship relationship yeah within yes yes so this is uh no referential
137. 17:39 ideation and so uh but the narcissist as exactly as you said has to be pro-social the narcissist needs something for people unlike the psychopath psychopath
138. 17:52 is 100% self-contained and 100% self-sufficient psychopath does not need anything from people and couldn't care less about people not all psychopaths are loners and lone wolves not all
139. 18:05 externally but all psychopaths are lone wolves internally all of them internally
140. 18:11 are lone wolves that's not the case of the narcissist the narcissist is a junkie he actually consumes people he
141. 18:19 needs people that's his food he needs the feedback from people narcissistic supply so he has to interact with people
142. 18:27 he has to be pro-social imagine the overload because you need people you
143. 18:34 need narcissistic supply from people but you cannot admit to yourself that they exist externally
144. 18:41 outside your mind and fantastic space of fantasy so even as you need them you
145. 18:48 need to deny them or you need to reframe them or you need to remold them or you need to create a representation of them in your mind which would simultaneously provide supply that would feel external
146. 19:02 because if the supply is internal it's another mechanism known as self-supp if you interact with people you need to deceive yourself on multiple level that they are not external that they in your mind but the supply that is coming from
147. 19:18 them is external how to how to do this how can you explain to yourself that an
148. 19:24 internal object is providing you with external output that's one major dissonance in
149. 19:31 narcissism that narcissists cannot resolve which is which explains gives
150. 19:37 one of the psychonamic reasons for the shared fantasy in the shirt fantasy the narcissist goes through a cycle of
151. 19:45 accepting the internal object attempting to pretend that the internal object is
152. 19:53 actually external failing and then separating from the internal object after devaluing it so this is the the mechanism but we have
153. 20:04 social media why leaving the house to get supply or is it low gradede supply
154. 20:11 does the narcissist need the personal interactions live in person there is a preference for personal interaction yes but social media can be sufficient the problem with social media is the level of lack of control while you can control walking talking
155. 20:29 living breathing human beings pretty efficiently if you know how which strategies to use and so on that
156. 20:36 includes intermittent reinforcement and training i mean there's quite a few arsenal there's an arsenal of strategies
157. 20:42 and techniques to establish control over people leaving people it's virtually
158. 20:48 impossible in social media i mean you cannot for example control dislikes
159. 20:54 or criticism or mockery or so ironically narcissists would be very wary very very
160. 21:02 afraid of social media because people keep saying look on social media it's full of narcissism they are this they
161. 21:08 there are many myths about narcissists that are completely inaccurate for example the myth that narcissists would
162. 21:14 tend to rape women it's completely inaccurate because the narcissist needs to feel irresistible If the narcissist were to rape a woman
163. 21:25 then he would not feel irresistible it's it's actually very humiliating that he had to do that you know he wants her to beg him he wants her to be all over
164. 21:36 him he wants her to be utterly you know melting in his presence he needs this
165. 21:42 part of the drama and so while narcissists can be sexually assertive and even aggressive they would they
166. 21:48 would never rape a woman extremely rarely would rape a woman this is psychopath again there's a confusion here and similarly social media the belief that narcissists would gravitate to social
167. 21:59 media because there's a lot of narcissistic supply to be had is a myth because yes there is supply to be had
168. 22:07 but at the same time there's a huge potential for motification you know Nazis can be shamed can be
169. 22:13 humiliated look what's happening to Donald Trump now on social media where everyone is mocking him and ridiculing
170. 22:20 him and humiliating him and and so on i'm pretty convinced that Donald Trump is avoiding most social media except his own pretty convinced yeah uh let's go to
171. 22:32 the aging narcissist the suicidal rate of nar narcissistic personal disorder is about 14% they say why do narcissists do suicide is it because they cannot bear their disorder or do they say this world
172. 22:49 doesn't deserve me the suicide rate among people with borderline personality disorder is 11% we do not have a number for narcissistic personality disorder there are studies
173. 23:01 that show that narcissists are more prone to suicide but we we don't have a
174. 23:08 number at this stage another problem with these studies is that the coorbidity between borderline
175. 23:14 personality disorder and narcissistic personality disorder is relative is impressive is relatively high there's a debate if it's like uh 20% or 40% or but
176. 23:26 it's definitely double digit and so many of the people who end up committing suicide end up committing
177. 23:32 suicide because they're border lines not because they're narcissists even though they're comorbid
178. 23:39 and so we don't know a narcissist who experiences narcissistic
179. 23:45 motification which is unexpected abrupt extreme humiliation especially in public and in front of meaningful others peers
180. 23:57 role models and so on this kind of narcissist uh would instantly degrade into a
181. 24:04 borderline state otto Kenberg suggested that pathological narcissism is a defense against borderline personality
182. 24:12 organization that underlying every narcissist there is a sea of borderline potential
183. 24:18 and that when you remove the narcissistic defenses what's left behind is a borderline
184. 24:25 i believe that he is right so in narcissistic motification there's a process called decompensation the
185. 24:31 defenses of the narcissist are shut off and crumble the narcissist remains
186. 24:37 defenseless at that point the narcissist becomes a borderline and then the narcissist develops emotional dysregulation and suicidal ideiation
187. 24:49 this is when the narcissist is vulnerable to suicide other types of narcissists may commit
188. 24:56 suicide to self agrandise and they may commit suicide uh to punish
189. 25:02 people as a form of control beyond the grave um all told
190. 25:10 I've known numbers it's speculation an anecdotal maybe but all told I would be
191. 25:16 surprised if um suicide is is more common among narcissists than in the
192. 25:23 general population i think actually narcissists would be less likely to commit suicide than other people whereas
193. 25:30 border lines are known for not only suicide actual suicide but suicidal ideation suicidal attempts and so on
194. 25:39 this issue with coorbidity is a major problem major stumbling block because it does not allow us to see the pure
195. 25:46 condition it's totally contaminated all the time adulterated and so we are very lost because of the DSM system if we know that narcissism is not healable why
196. 25:57 you may call it therapy what is your goal what is your purpose call therapy doesn't cure a narcissism nothing does
197. 26:04 call therapy tackles the the false self which is a construct and by eliminating
198. 26:10 the the false self it gets rid gets rid of the need for narcissistic supply
199. 26:17 that's all call therapy supposedly does um the you leave the patient then with
200. 26:25 nothing i leave the patient in a borderline state in a borderline state yes okay and then of course immediately
201. 26:31 the patient needs to transition to DBT or so call therapy is not the end is beginning once we remove the false self and the need for supply disappears what
202. 26:43 is left behind is a defenseless borderline but um why the focus on the false self because the false self is a narrative
203. 26:54 it's a construct whereas everything else in narcissism is uh hardwired and coded to the point that
204. 27:03 there is speculation that it may be genetic or hereditary it's really hard it's very really
205. 27:10 rigid the word that the DSM uses is rigid everything else in narcissism is rigid
206. 27:17 the false self is an imaginary friend which later became godlike and it's a
207. 27:23 narrative it's a story we know that even with narcissists we
208. 27:29 are able to rewrite narratives we do it very often
209. 27:35 a variety of uh a variety of treatment modalities transference based therapy and schema
210. 27:42 therapy and and even gestalt and and some extensibility in a variety of
211. 27:49 treatment modalities we teach the narcissist to modify his behavior uh by modifying or altering underlying stories that he tells himself
212. 28:01 so we very frequently leverage these stories to modify the narcissist behavior so we know that narcissists are capable of changing narratives changing stories
213. 28:14 and very often narcissists do even without therapy they would change they
214. 28:20 would completely change so they could be for example highly atheistic one year
215. 28:26 and the next year they would be highly religious and they would find grandiosity in being allies of God so
216. 28:34 and we call this identity diffusion or identity disturbance it's also common in borderline
217. 28:40 identity disturbance or identity diffusion is the capacity to create mutually exclusive contradictory
218. 28:47 complete competing narratives and to adopt them one after the other without any egoistony without any problem
219. 28:56 so borderline for example would would tell you one day I I infidelity is a
220. 29:02 horrible thing you should never cheat on your partner and uh it should be punished and and the next day she would
221. 29:09 cheat and then you would ask her why did you cheat yesterday you said it's a horrible thing and so on so forth and she would come up with a story why she cheated and so on but and she would even justify it she said in some situations
222. 29:20 you should cheat some situations it's good to cheat some situations cheating is justified contradicting herself 100%
223. 29:29 same with the narcissist a narcissist would transition seamlessly between narratives
224. 29:36 this is a good thing because it is it could be a tool in therapy if you
225. 29:42 convince the narcissist to rewrite the narrative in ways which are more uh
226. 29:48 functional and healthy you would induce change in behavior to make it more bearable for the environment yes to make it less delusion itself less abrasive less antisocial and
227. 30:00 so it is it is even then it is a delusion it it narcissism is a delusional disorder you need to work
228. 30:06 within the disorder you cannot attack it from the outside similarly in cold therapy there's a rewriting of the narrative and the rewriting of the narrative by retraumatizing the
229. 30:17 narcissist the narcissist's underlying nar narrative is
230. 30:23 trauma is horrible I'm not going to survive trauma And so because reality is full with
231. 30:30 trauma I'm going to I need to avoid reality and I need to construct a safe space a secure base within which I will
232. 30:37 never ever be traumatized and for me to never ever be traumatized I need to control people because people are the
233. 30:44 sources of trauma and I need to control them to the maximum and the the best way to control them to the maximum is to
234. 30:50 eliminate them so then I will never be traumatized again it's a post-traumatic condition
235. 30:56 and so in in cold therapy this is rewritten we expose the narcissist to trauma the
236. 31:03 narcissist survives the trauma nothing happens we do not give the narcissist
237. 31:09 any support outside the trauma so the environment in cold therapy is hostile
238. 31:16 and antagonistic and conflictive the therapist is not the narcissist's friend
239. 31:22 therapist inflicts a trauma on the narcissist in other words in the cold therapy ambiencece the narcissist cannot go anywhere there's no one to to to
240. 31:33 approach there's no way to manipulate anyone there's no there's the narcissist and the trauma end of sorry and his
241. 31:39 shame and it's it's either you swim or you drown and narcissist discovers that
242. 31:45 they he can swim that he can overlive this yes nothing happens he went through
243. 31:51 the trauma and he's alive is alive is functional is at that moment the false
244. 31:57 self is is dead because there is a principle in psychology known as the principle of economy
245. 32:03 uh use it or lose it if you if there is a psychological construct or
246. 32:09 psychological process or memory or belief or that you don't use anymore are
247. 32:15 not needed anymore they die because there's limited energy limited psychic
248. 32:22 energy cexis limited psychic energy and you need to allocate it so if you don't
249. 32:28 need the false self anymore why to maintain it the maintenance of a false self is gigantic you need to falsify
250. 32:34 reality suppress people i mean it's a lot of work so if you don't need it anymore you don't need this protection against trauma anymore then it dies why not rise the real self sorry why not
251. 32:45 rise the real self there is no real self when you pass a certain age some things
252. 32:51 are irreversible never mind the nonsense online including by self-styled experts
253. 32:57 with PhD in psychology it's nonsense if you did not develop empathy by age six there's no way you can develop empathy end of story if you did not develop a functional self
254. 33:10 by there's a debate age three age six you will never have a self a functional
255. 33:16 self ironically narcissists are selfless they don't have an ego as Freud called
256. 33:22 it they don't have this core structure that maintains a sense of continuity
257. 33:29 they don't have this they're disjointed they're discontinuous the dissociative you can't come at age 40 and develop a
258. 33:37 self for the narcissist that's complete utter unmitigated nonsense and yes they
259. 33:43 are self-interested self-enriching therapists and psychologists online that say that this is possible they are
260. 33:50 charlatans this is con artistry similarly people who say online I mean
261. 33:57 scholars who say online that empathy can be developed they know damn well it cannot so the best best we can do for the
262. 34:04 narcissist is to rewrite some of the dysfunctional narratives like I will not survive a
263. 34:12 trauma so in this sense call therapy is an extension of cognitive behavior therapy
264. 34:19 and in cognitive behavior therapy we identify automatic negative thoughts
265. 34:25 ads so we identify for example a patient comes and we identify the automatic negative thought i am ugly no one would
266. 34:33 ever want me automatic negative thought or I will always fail never mind how
267. 34:40 hard I try i will always fail these are automatic negative thoughts you could conceive of pathological narcissism as a
268. 34:48 repository of thousands of automatic negative thoughts
269. 34:54 some of these automatic negative thoughts are pseudo identity they constitute a pseudo identity so you
270. 35:01 cannot touch them they're untouchable automatic negative thoughts while other
271. 35:07 automatic negative thoughts are open to intervention definitely and you can intervene there exactly like in today
272. 35:15 when you go to therapy as a narcissist you go to therapy they rewrite your relationship with other people they create a new narrative so for example the narcissist would be abusive to to
273. 35:27 his wife and so they would rewrite the narrative they would tell the narcissist "She needs you she cannot live without you she needs your help you should save
274. 35:38 her you should rescue her you should." So they convert the narcissist into rescuer savior and then he becomes less
275. 35:45 abusive or loses the abuse or they would challenge the narcissist's grandiosity they would say this is something that no one else has succeeded to do and honestly I don't think you can do it
276. 35:57 either that minute the narcissist to sustain his grandiosity would be
277. 36:03 committed to to healing to to change in behavior so like I would say to NASA is
278. 36:10 uh you are um you are constantly confabulating and
279. 36:16 I don't believe there's anything you can do about it because it always fails no one succeeded to my best of my knowledge
280. 36:24 no one ever succeeded to not confabulate that immediately the narcissist grandiosity is challenged this is
281. 36:30 narcissistic injury to prove to you that you're wrong because narcissists always have to be right to prove to you that
282. 36:36 you're wrong they will reduce the intensity and frequency of confabulation so yes we can rewrite narcissistic narratives they're children you need to do it in a So cold therapy is also includes big parts of child psychology
283. 36:54 you have to talk to a child yes one of the huge mistakes in psychology in psychotherapy is that they treat the
284. 37:01 narcissist as an adult you make deals with them they don't they don't hold they treat the narcissist as an adult
285. 37:08 they make a deal with the narcissist therapeutic alliance treatment alliance they set therapy goals with the
286. 37:15 narcissist they negotiate with the narcissist they It's wrong it's not an adult it's a 2-year-old so you need to
287. 37:22 use tools from child psychology ironically child psychology is possibly
288. 37:30 the most successful branch of psychology possibly we really have great outcomes
289. 37:36 with children even children who've been horribly abused traumatized raped i mean
290. 37:44 horrible things happen to them we we succeed with children we succeed because children are very malleable neuroplasticity is very high brain is still developing and so on so if we use tools from if we combine tools from CBT
291. 37:57 and tools from retraumatization which is not my invention retraumatization is for
292. 38:03 in Kak um uh tools from CH from uh from CBT
293. 38:09 tools if you combine tools from about 20 treatment modalities you get called therapy and you need to be realistic in
294. 38:18 your treatment goals you need to be realistic you cannot be grandiose and many many therapists are grandiose and say I'm going to cure the narcissist i'm going to heal the narcissist i'm This is
295. 38:30 grandio these are grandio claims totally counterfactual your scientific work is unique in the
296. 38:39 case of narcissistic personal disorder can you tell us something about your research about your data or what you
297. 38:45 collected i've been I've been in this field for 30
298. 38:51 years 30 i do research in the sense that I read
299. 38:57 every everything that's immediately read everything that's published and so on but I also
300. 39:03 uh worked with uh people who have been diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder and with their family members
301. 39:10 and and so on by now I have collected information on well over 2,200
302. 39:18 individuals who've been diagnosed only with narcissistic personality disorder so when people approach me and they're
303. 39:24 comorbid they have other problem mental health issues i reject them so these are
304. 39:30 people who have been diagnosed with NPD they need to produce a letter from the therapist diagnostician that says yeah
305. 39:37 been diagnosed with NPD and they need to specify by the way which instrument they use because some
306. 39:43 instruments for diagnosis are don't get me started are not good and so on so
307. 39:49 it's a highly selective group and I think the biggest database in the world on narcissists and also the only
308. 39:57 database which includes uh only people with pure diagnosis of narciss
309. 40:03 personality disorder each and every one of them receives a questionnaire which I can send to you by the way if you want to have a look each one send a questionnaire with 700 questions the questionnaire is an extension of MMPI
310. 40:16 minor minor variation of MMPI 2 and some elements from three they answer this
311. 40:23 questionnaire and it stays in the file every year I approach all these people not all of them but some of them are ready to answer follow-up questions which essentially are also MMDI
312. 40:35 and so I have it's longitudinal i have I have across time how they develop evolve
313. 40:42 going down dynamics all kinds of things it's a treasure there's nothing that comes close to it i just told you about
314. 40:48 studies with three people and eight people and and so nothing comes remotely close to it i've been approached by many
315. 40:54 universities asking them to asking me to give them access to it but now we've
316. 41:00 created the foundation i I would like to to make this an asset of the foundation
317. 41:06 that will be made freely available to all universities in other words I don't want a single university to maintain
318. 41:12 monopoly or maintain access i don't want to give it to one university but I want to somehow perhaps put it online we need
319. 41:20 to anonymize it's a lot of work but to somehow put it online so that all universities in the world like a
320. 41:26 database would have would have access nothing comes remotely close to this
321. 41:32 tell us something more about your foundation something more what's the goal who can go there who can participate are the
322. 41:39 students uh scholars or what do you do there do you make seminars or congresses
323. 41:47 what's your goal lydia Rangeloska my wife and I we established a foundation
324. 41:53 so that people will be able to continue the work that I started in
325. 41:59 psychology economics and physics i mean we are talking only about psychology but I'm very active in physics and
326. 42:07 and u used to be very active in economics so and I've done work in all three
327. 42:13 fields and uh I would like people to get acquainted with this work and continue it not necessarily agree with me or disagree with me but just continue the work kind of legacy and so we created
328. 42:25 the foundation people can apply for grants they're supposed to write an article or a book
329. 42:33 you know so they can apply for grant a grant and um they have to be post-docctorates
330. 42:40 so postgraduates and they have to be in the field so qualified they have to be acquainted with my work otherwise what's the point and then if people were to apply they they might end up with a grant the grant is €5,000 in each field so and this
331. 42:58 5,000 would usually would allow you as an individual to write an article i don't know about a book but article
332. 43:05 definitely and that's all we hope for on the other hand we also organize free
333. 43:12 seminars and lectures all over the world and um
334. 43:18 so the foundation would sponsor these seminars and lectures anyone wants to organize in their city the seminar or
335. 43:25 lecture the foundation would cover all the expenses my expenses that means uh travel accommodation food
336. 43:33 you name it and we I would come and and give a seminar by the way I always give seminars long before the foundation
337. 43:40 everything I've everything I've ever done is free all my books are available
338. 43:46 free of charge you can buy them in Amazon as a sign of gratitude token of gratitude but they're available all my
339. 43:52 books are available free of charge all my videos are free of charge i never make any commercial offering in my
340. 43:58 videos all my seminars and lectures have always been free of charge you can testify this
341. 44:04 country so I believe that education should be free
342. 44:10 especially education about these topics and I regard people who monetize
343. 44:16 suffering as scum yes i'm sorry to say that's why I'm here
344. 44:22 without any commercial interest i'm on your side so So let me look let
345. 44:29 me have a look if there is I can take many things out of your lectures yes absolutely and out of stuff
346. 44:38 uh Mayan has so I think we have the most important
347. 44:44 questions answered yeah you have 1,900 lecture I mean videos huge amounts of
348. 44:51 material there i think we have we are done now what we just need um just for
349. 44:58 the outside shots five minutes just five minutes as long as you need no problem just fine no just fine because this was a very nice idea of you
350. 45:09 outside audio and inside audio to make it's there is a discussion not only in
351. 45:15 Germany that narcissism is not a trade or disorder that is uh learned in
352. 45:23 very early childhood it's genetically or even a brain defect what do you think
353. 45:30 about it uh science scientists the the research is not at the end point right
354. 45:36 now they are speculating what's your opinion about it as usual there is a huge confusion
355. 45:43 between uh all kinds of things in psychology people confuse trait
356. 45:50 the trait of narcissism with pathological narcissism traits are hereditary genetic we have
357. 45:59 many types of traits and one of them is narcissism the famous test narcissistic personality
358. 46:06 inventory NPI does not measure pathological narcissism and cannot be
359. 46:12 used to diagnose narcissistic personality disorder if you hear someone saying this
360. 46:18 immediately you know they're not experts narcissistic personality inventory is
361. 46:24 actually focused around the trait of narcissism everyone has a trait of narcissism as
362. 46:30 we're all human and traits are hereditary and genetic i think part of
363. 46:36 the confusion in the debate is that people are conflating trait with pathology
364. 46:42 so this is point number one point number two narcissistic personality disorder under the DSM taxonomy pathology
365. 46:51 narcissistic personality disorder is a member of a family it's known as cluster B personality disorders and these
366. 46:57 include histrionic psychopath antisocial personality disorder and uh borderline personality
367. 47:04 disorder in two of these disorders borderline personality disorder and definitely and most importantly antisocial personality disorder the brain is very different especially
368. 47:17 the brains of psychopaths they're truly very different you can definitely when you're presented with an MRI of a brain you can say this is the brain of a psychopath
369. 47:28 similarly at least in the case of borderline personality disorder and increasingly so in antisocial
370. 47:34 personality disorder we have pretty conclusive and convincing proof of a
371. 47:40 hereditary component genes for example if you have uh first degree
372. 47:47 or second degree even second degree like ant relative with borderline personality
373. 47:53 disorder your chances to develop borderline personality disorder are five times higher
374. 48:00 so there's good grounds to assume some hereditary genetic component because of
375. 48:07 that it makes sense to believe that narcissistic personality disorder is
376. 48:13 also has some hereditary genetic component because it's member of this family and it also makes sense that there are some brain abnormalities
377. 48:25 in narcissistic personality disorder however here we enter the field of philosophy of science because we cannot predict which child
378. 48:38 which child will become a narcissist we don't have any records of the brains
379. 48:44 of narcissists in early childhood we test we inspect the brains of
380. 48:51 narcissists when they're 20 years old and 30 years old and 40 years old and 60 years old that's when we inspect their
381. 48:58 brains and so this opens the question are they born with these kind of brains
382. 49:05 or is a lifelong of narcissism affected the brain did the narcissism
383. 49:12 create this kind of brain or did the brain create this kind of narcissism correlation causation we don't have an
384. 49:19 answer to this of course plus in the case of narcissistic personality disorder we do not have convincing
385. 49:27 information convincing data that there are brain abnormalities at this stage there are some very tiny
386. 49:34 non-rigorous non-convincing studies but we do not have at this stage evidence definitely not not like in psychopathy
387. 49:42 similarly we do not have any evidence of a genetic hereditary component in narcissistic personality disorder
388. 49:50 i fully believe that there is such a genetic component and I'll explain to you why a group of children including
389. 49:58 twins or triplets and so on are exposed to the same parents the same environment the same family only one in a 100 becomes narcissist
390. 50:09 of these abused traumatized children only one in a 100 becomes a narcissist
391. 50:15 so why don't all of them become a narcissist why don't the majority of them become narcissist if narcissism is
392. 50:21 a psychonamic psychological reaction to abuse and trauma since all human psychology is the
393. 50:28 same why don't all these children become narcissists so clearly the one who did
394. 50:34 become a narcissist or the two there's a debate 1.7 is the accurate figure the two who did be who did become narcissist clearly that they have something that the other 98 don't have what is this something only genes
395. 50:50 there's no other explanation so I fully believe that narcissism is hereditary
396. 50:56 genetic and yes it is associated with brain abnormalities but the state-of-the-art right now does
397. 51:03 not allow us to say this science is not about faith it's not a uh
398. 51:10 it's not a variant of religion beliefs don't matter anecdotes don't matter what you think doesn't matter you need to prove it and there's no proof of this that brings me to another question
399. 51:23 what's happening in the womb when the child is abused by a cold mother by a
400. 51:31 sadistic mother not born but in the womb uh an uninterested mother is science
401. 51:40 asking this question a mother cannot abuse her child in the womb psychologically speak but you know
402. 51:48 what I mean but a mother a mother can for example consume substances she can drink she can do drugs she can smoke
403. 51:55 doesn't care about the child but we know when a mother talks very kindly and lovable so a mother when when you have a
404. 52:02 depressive mother he refuses even the child in the womb so a mother for example would not play music to the child would not talk to the child and so on so so there's some some element of
405. 52:13 neglect but we don't we don't know in which ways uh mozzout or talking to the child affect affect brain development so this would be completely outlandish speculation however definitely for
406. 52:26 example a depressive mother would have hormonal imbalances which are pretty substantial and critical hormones not minor hormones no I'm not talking about
407. 52:37 but I'm talking for example about serotonine so definitely dopamine these are critical neurom modulators
408. 52:43 neurotransmitters and most of them by the way are produced not in the brain dopamine is but
409. 52:49 serotonin is produced mostly not in the brain so that's a depressive mother a
410. 52:56 mother who is for example borderline she would have cycles of
411. 53:03 adrenaline or no adrenaline in her in her blood very cortisol stress hormones
412. 53:10 much more than than other people that is documented that is a fact so we know
413. 53:16 that uh stress hormones including cortisol but not only do have um um
414. 53:23 deletterious bad impact on on brain functioning we don't yet know how these things affect brain development but there is no question that because the placenta and
415. 53:36 the womb are permeable to hormones permeable to blood there is no question that the child could be exposed to hormonal imbalances and we know it's pretty substantiated by
416. 53:49 now that hormonal imbalances affect not only brain development but for example sexual orientation
417. 53:56 so we know we have linked pretty decisively hormonal imbalances in the womb with homosexuality for example so
418. 54:05 you can't pretend that the womb and the placenta are a world their own there are
419. 54:11 mother it's not true it's a single system it's a single system the mother shapes the child shapes the child in a variety of ways mechanical hormonal in
420. 54:22 and the substances she consumes the medicine she's taking you know she's
421. 54:28 shaping the child all the time the most critical organ and the most responsive organ at this stage is the brain uh even
422. 54:36 starting with the with the sixth week sixth week in the womb that the brain is the most affected by all these things
423. 54:44 that is another reason to assume that um there is a neurobiological background to
424. 54:50 many of these disorders and that ultimately maybe in 50 years maybe in a 100 years
425. 54:57 we are going to look at all these what we used to call mental illnesses psychological illnesses as medical
426. 55:04 issues it's already starting schizophrenia used to be considered a mental psychological problem today it's not we know that schizophrenia is a
427. 55:15 brain issue problem uh bipolar disorder is completely medicalized today we don't
428. 55:21 consider bipolar disorder to be a psychological disorder it's a it's a medical disorder psychosis all psychotic
429. 55:28 disorders autism spectrum disorder until the late 70s they were teaching you in
430. 55:35 schools and universities that autism is the result of neglectful mothers they were called refrigerator mothers cold abandoning detached negle
431. 55:46 emotionally absent mothers created autistic children today we know that autism spectrum disorder is completely neurodedevelopmental it's a brain issue it's nothing to do with a mother
432. 55:57 absolutely nothing so gradually big parts of of the DSM are
433. 56:03 becoming medical conditions and it is very very telling and very surprising that
434. 56:11 these conditions have not been eliminated from the DSM so in the DSM you should not have autism spectrum disorder you should not have bipolar you should not have schizophrenia they have nothing to do with psychology they are medical conditions they should be in medical
435. 56:28 textbooks but they don't do this because there's a lot
436. 56:35 of money involved it's commercial interest they even say narcissism and vanity yeah they even say narcissism is
437. 56:41 no mental illness it's just a variant of personality
438. 56:48 so I mentioned it earlier that uh psychopathy for example is not a mental
439. 56:54 illness i disagree that pathological narcissism is a variant of personality i agree that narcissistic style is a
440. 57:00 variant of personality but narcissistic personality disorder is a massive damage to the formation of the self and the functions of the self in early childhood
441. 57:11 when you interfere with the formation of the Can you say that again without the glass i disagree i dis We are finishing
442. 57:18 no no no i'm just standing stretch my legs so narcissistic
443. 57:25 personality disorder is a massive disruption in the formation of the self uh in early childhood self has many
444. 57:32 functions one of the functions of the self for example is reality testing
445. 57:38 ability to gauge evaluate reality properly so when you damage the self when you don't allow the child to develop a self then this kind of child for example would not be able to
446. 57:50 live in reality this kind of child will create compensatory mechanisms by resorting to fantasy
447. 57:58 so there is no question that uh pathological narcissism involves um an
448. 58:05 outsourcing of ego functions and involves the externalizing of what should should have been internal this is common in borderline as well the borderline outsources her regulatory
449. 58:16 functions to pretend that the narcissist is merely an obnoxious a-hole
450. 58:23 that is untrue it's completely untrue there are severe pathologies involved that have nothing
451. 58:30 to do with how they manifest even you you even have a v a subt type
452. 58:36 of narcissist known as pro-ocial or communal narcissist who are altruistic and charitable and
453. 58:44 moral and upstanding citizens and pillars of the community and so on you have covert narcissists who are modest and nice and kind and so it narcissism
454. 58:57 doesn't always have to manifest in Donald Trump type yeah it's not always the Donald Trump type it's sometimes the Mother Teresa type so
455. 59:09 it's a mistake to say that it's a personality type or personality because
456. 59:15 there's a huge variance in personality types among narcissists comparing Donald Trump and Mother Teresa gives you the gives you the picture
457. 59:27 they're both I believe narcissists and you see a huge variance in personality
458. 59:33 type so you cannot reduce narcissism to a single personality type whereas in
459. 59:39 psychopathy this is easier to do psychopaths essentially have the same personality
460. 59:45 type it uh is expressed differently manifest differently the solutions they choose are different the strategies are different but essentially it's the same for example they're all loners they they
461. 59:58 could be lone wolves externally they could be loners internally but they're all loners they're all aggressive they all externalize aggression they all I
462. 60:09 mean there's so many commonalities among psychopaths that and that's why in psychopathy for example we don't have
463. 60:15 types whereas in narcissism we have covert overt somatic cerebral this that a
464. 60:22 million subtypes in path in psychopathy you don't have this you don't have a you know there's psychopath that's all because it is a personality type
465. 60:33 so I disagree with this uh completely there is a general tendency nowadays to
466. 60:39 depathize and aggrandise so for example autistic people say there's no such thing as autism it's a form of neurode divergence and it makes us superior not inferior we
467. 60:52 are superior to neurotypicals So what people mentally ill people are
468. 60:58 doing today they are or ill people not mentally autism is medical condition what they're doing today they depathize themselves and then they say it's actually not a handicap it's not a
469. 61:11 disability it's an advantage this is precisely what narcissists do narcissists say narcissistic personality disorder is the next stage in evolution
470. 61:22 makes us superior And so border lines today would say
471. 61:28 there's no such thing as borderline it's a trauma reaction it's CPTSD and it makes us much more not much less we are
472. 61:35 much more sensitive we're much more empathic we're much more So everyone and his dog nowadays they are superior in
473. 61:43 some way it's a completely narcissistic reaction and autistic people are doing this border lines are doing this
474. 61:49 narcissists are doing this psychopaths are doing this and and many many many other many other people are doing this
475. 61:55 and that's why you have people like Elon Musk proudly proclaiming that they are autist autistic people the is an aist
476. 62:02 although he's never been diagnosed by anyone and he's actually in my view a malignant narcissist but is it's it's
477. 62:10 now a badge of pride to be autistic you know it's you know autism
478. 62:17 is clearly a neurodedevelopmental disorder with massive massive damage to some areas of the brain end of story
479. 62:26 everyone becomes special when their brains are damaged i mean so yeah they
480. 62:32 are special i cannot deny this and some of this specialnesses I mean not always
481. 62:38 bad not all this specialness is bad for example among people with autism there
482. 62:44 there are what is used to be known as idiot savant but today we call them savant these are people who are geniuses
483. 62:50 in mathematics or you know or have idetic memory they can memorize huge amounts of information so this idiosyncrasy in the brain this damage to
484. 63:01 the brain doesn't always have negative consequences but it always also has negative
485. 63:08 consequences so we see this narcissistic reaction
486. 63:14 i'm yes I'm autistic but it makes me superior like Elon Musk or yes I'm a narcissist but I'm the next stage in evolution or yes I'm borderline but I'm empathic and compassionate like no one
487. 63:24 else and I know to love like no one else or my sex is the greatest or yes I'm a you know and so on and so forth but you
488. 63:31 said creators of artificial intelligence should go to narcissists to learn from
489. 63:39 them how to make AI better the thing is that uh in our all our civilization
490. 63:49 starting pretty long time ago when we established cities we started to establish cities civil our
491. 63:56 civilization is based on the avoidance of reality so cities were the first virtual reality
492. 64:05 cities in a city you had no contact with the with the land you did not grow your
493. 64:11 food not grow your own food city is a totally artificial environment it's a virtual reality so city was the first attempt by human beings to escape reality completely and ever since then we've been spending all
494. 64:29 our time as a species avoiding reality denying it ignoring it suppressing it
495. 64:35 and so on we it's a hate a relationship of hatred between reality and the human
496. 64:41 species uh if you look at movies it's a way to avoid reality if you look at books it's
497. 64:47 a way to avoid reality and avoid death as well if you look at so where wherever you look all technology is concerned mostly with avoiding reality or suppressing it or reshaping it or molding it or taking over nature and emasculating nature raping nature and so
498. 65:03 on so there is a war between reality and and the human species it's been going on
499. 65:09 forever and recently let's say starting in the 1990s
500. 65:15 we are escaping reality into fantastic spaces into fantasy
501. 65:22 and who are the greatest experts in the world on fantasy narcissists
502. 65:28 if you there if you as a species make a decision that you're better off in
503. 65:35 fantasy land than in reality and you develop technologies that foster fantasies and encourage fantasies and
504. 65:42 immerse you in fantasies and so on so forth then you would naturally wish to consult the world's leading experts on
505. 65:48 fantasy which happen to be narcissists that's why narcissists are rising to the top that's why they're becoming the
506. 65:54 richest people the most powerful people because our reality in civilization right now are founded on the very
507. 66:02 principles that constitute pathological narcissism so this is one element second element
508. 66:10 you mentioned artificial intelligence and there are striking similarities between uh artificial general artificial intelligence and chatbots agents and and narcissists
509. 66:24 i give you one example when an artificially intelligence agent such as
510. 66:30 chat GPT not to mention Deepseek uh when they don't know and the answer
511. 66:36 to your question they invent they lie to you they pretend to know which is
512. 66:43 precisely what narcissists do it's completely narcissistic behavior the narcissist is omniscient he knows
513. 66:49 everything when you confront a narcissist with a question the answer to which he doesn't know he will lie to you
514. 66:55 he will invent us um uh data that never exists that's what AI does so as one example so AI is also highly authoritative it
515. 67:08 pretends to be highly authoritative and assumes the position of a guru or a
516. 67:14 teacher which is also a classic narcissistic posture ai is grandiose
517. 67:20 try to challenge AI and watch the reaction highly grandiose and AI of course is divorce from reality
518. 67:28 because it lives within a language model language is language and definitely you
519. 67:34 can conceive of pathological narcissism as a language and a language disturbance
520. 67:40 you can you can explain all of narcissism using only the concepts of language and linguistics
521. 67:48 which is something that um to some extent Chomsky tried to do and prior to Chomsky Wiggenstein tried to do when
522. 67:56 they applied concepts about language to try to explain human behavior and and even human thinking so and of course artificial intelligence
523. 68:08 never never drank coffee and never dated a girl and never it lives completely in a in a totally
524. 68:14 abstract fantastic space of language and that's that's its world which is exactly
525. 68:21 the narcissist the narcissist is completely divorced from reality and lives inside a linguistic space which is
526. 68:28 essentially fantasy so there are many similarities but I would say something I would add something controversial because until now I have not been controversial enough i would add something controversial
527. 68:40 the people who created modern technology are all mentally ill all of them the
528. 68:46 people who created social media are schizoids we know their history the schizoid some of them narcissistic the people who created artificial intelligence are malignant narcissists
529. 68:58 and probably psychopaths modern technologies starting in the 1990s
530. 69:05 were created by mentally ill people these mentally ill people gravitated to Wall Street they gravitated to the high-tech scene and when you see people now the
531. 69:17 high-tech moguls and and tycoons and you see how mentally ill they are
532. 69:24 and I'm not only li referring to Elon Musk when you see these people you see that they are seriously mentally ill seriously like had they not been
533. 69:35 multi-billionaires some of them would have been in a mental asylum they're really sick and they
534. 69:42 developed these technologies out of a rejection of reality some of them are
535. 69:48 utopians they believe in a utopia of tech tech controlled and tech owned
536. 69:54 world some of them avoided reality by creating a simulation of society known as social media which is highly asocial take for example social media
537. 70:07 the core the foundational principle of social media is that people should be
538. 70:13 completely isolated and have zero intimacy and I can prove it to you easily if you have if you have a boyfriend or a girlfriend you spend time with them time
539. 70:24 that you spend with your boyfriend is time that you don't spend on Facebook so
540. 70:30 they're losing money your intimacy is the greatest competitor of Facebook and Instagram and YouTube
541. 70:38 and so on so they need to destroy your intimacy they need to isolate you atomize you and
542. 70:45 convert you into um an eyeball and they need to enhance in you
543. 70:52 solypistic or solitude related activities such as conso consumption on teu surfing all alone and buying things they need to
544. 71:04 encourage these behaviors in you and then they can say we connect you with each other yes and any minute you spend
545. 71:12 in contact with real people your children your wife your boyfriend your girlfriend your friends other people in
546. 71:19 political parties your community any minute you spend with real people is a
547. 71:25 dollar less in the profits of these companies and they have every incentive to program you and this this they when
548. 71:33 they designed the platforms they hired the services of psychologists it's a fact so they created the platforms to
549. 71:41 automize you then to take advantage of your increasing loneliness which they have created and to discourage you to look for solutions elsewhere
550. 71:53 now this to me sounds like seriously psychopathic and we know the history of a Zuckerberg
551. 72:01 and and others they were schizoids these were schizoid people they were totally
552. 72:07 isolated in their garage in their basement in their you know Steven Jobs Vosnjnak these people were
553. 72:14 were the nerds and the nobodies and the the rejects and the outcasts of society
554. 72:20 then they created these technologies and these technologies took over and that raises a very interesting question if
555. 72:27 the people who created these technologies were mentally ill how come these technologies so successful
556. 72:33 and I think the answer is that they afford us the ability to completely
557. 72:39 ignore reality an immersive environment that creates the illusion of a reality
558. 72:45 so perfectly that you don't really you don't need reality and other people anymore completely
559. 72:52 and so this raises another issue is it true that we are social animals aristotle
560. 73:00 said that we are zonolitical social animals is it true it seems that we have
561. 73:06 been making this mistake for two 300 years in sociology in psychology and so
562. 73:12 on when we thought that human beings are social animals i think people collaborated with each other and so on because they had no choice
563. 73:24 there was no other alternative if you didn't collaborate with other people you died if as a baby you don't attract your
564. 73:30 mother's attention you're dead baby so we needed this to survive but now the technology allows us to be self-sufficient now that we don't need other people at
565. 73:41 all we are discovering our true nature and our true nature is that we are not social animals we hate other people other people are a burden other people
566. 73:52 require investments other people are difficult to cope with other people are it's a It sucks to be with other people
567. 73:58 it's a mess so people are not having children they're not getting married
568. 74:04 they're not having sex there's a collapse in the frequency of sex they are isolating themselves at home with
569. 74:10 Netflix and two cats and they're perfectly happy there content if not
570. 74:16 happy and the the epidemic of loneliness is largely self-inflicted in my view
571. 74:24 that is because at heart we are loners so we get more and more sister
572. 74:31 we started this way it's we were forced to be together we didn't want to be together we were forced to be together
573. 74:38 initially because we needed to hunt together and later because our numbers
574. 74:44 increased so we needed to warehouses for people and so in these warehouses we
575. 74:50 were together but given the chance in my view each and every one of us would choose to be alone for the rest of our lives because it sucks to be with other people it's a unpleasant experience in
576. 75:04 90% of the time not 100 but 90% of the time it's an unpleasant experience not a pleasant one and here comes technology
577. 75:10 and allows you to be completely self-sufficient relieves you of the burden of having to
578. 75:16 deal with other people and massive billions of people are choosing this they're choosing this option relieve me of other people let me go let
579. 75:27 me They perceive freedom and liberty as soypism and automization
580. 75:34 so they are liberated via their loneliness and loneliness is thus becoming an ideology