Tip: click a paragraph to jump to the exact moment in the video.
https://vakninsummaries.com/ (Full summaries of Sam Vaknin’s videos)
http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/mediakit.html (My work in psychology: Media Kit and Press Room)
Bonus Consultations with Sam Vaknin or Lidija Rangelovska (or both) http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/ctcounsel.html
http://www.youtube.com/samvaknin (Narcissists, Psychopaths, Abuse)
http://www.youtube.com/vakninmusings (World in Conflict and Transition)
http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com (Malignant Self-love: Narcissism Revisited)
http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/cv.html (Biography and Resume)
The speaker discussed how sudden emergence of memories and insights can be destabilizing and must be handled carefully in therapy to avoid overwhelming or retraumatizing patients, noting shifts away from debriefing to safer, structured approaches. He distinguished narcissism from psychopathy, explaining that goal-oriented, power-seeking, fearless individuals who pursue money and
The speaker reviewed multiple models of narcissism—sociosexuality, the agency model, and the dominant psychodynamic/psychonamic synthesis—highlighting core traits such as grandiosity, entitlement, approach orientation, compulsivity, and repetition compulsion. He explained developmental origins (early childhood abuse or over-spoiling), introduced the “shared fantasy” mechanism and its staged dynamics (spotting, auditioning, baiting, co-idealization, love-bombing,
The speaker provided a clinician-focused exploration of sublimation, defining it as an ego-driven transformation of instinctual energy (originally sexual, later including aggression) into socially valued, non-instinctual activities through mechanisms like aim inhibition and fantasy. He emphasized sublimation’s developmental, cultural, and ethical dimensions—its role in creativity and normal functioning, its limits
Speaker addressed a deleted live session where YouTube removed over 1,400 questions, explaining they will respond to reinstated questions from Mark Thomas Beare about flaws in the narcissistic abuse recovery field. Main points: the field is dominated by a victimhood morality play and oversimplified, aggrandizing content; real recovery is complex,
Sam Vaknin distinguishes constructive truthtelling from sadistic honesty, arguing that honesty becomes harmful when it targets others’ vulnerabilities, is performed publicly to humiliate, or is used for self-aggrandizement. He emphasizes that honest feedback in private aims at growth and should be delivered with humility and empathy. True honesty accepts human
Sambaknim distinguishes between external and internal forms of narcissistic discard: external discard is visible and unequivocal (separation, divorce, infidelity), while internal discard is subtle and hidden, occurring when partners remain together publicly but emotionally disengage. Internal discard manifests as emotional absence, indifference, devaluation, setting impossible standards, paranoia, and undermining the
Sand Baknne linked the false self in narcissistic pathology to the concept of sublimation, arguing the false self functions as a sublimatory channel that redirects traumatic, aggressive, and depressive energies into socially acceptable, exaggerated goals. He contrasted Freud’s and Lacan’s conceptions of sublimation, emphasizing its narcissistic focus—where individuals internalize societal
Sam Vaknin introduces ‘delusional resonance’ as a process distinct from trauma bonding, arguing that both abuser and victim share matching delusions that glue them into a shared fantasy. He outlines several parallel delusions—grandiosity, belief in fantasy as reality, victimhood, entitlement, and perceived immunity—that resonate between narcissist and victim and explain
The discussion described narcissism as an arrested developmental state characterized by infantile defense mechanisms, grandiose cognitive distortions, and a need for control that leads individuals to construct and inhabit a distorted inner reality. Emotional dysregulation in narcissists presents as restricted or inappropriate affect, chronic envy and anger, and a compensatory
The meeting advised multiple techniques for supporting a partner with borderline personality traits: teach her to externalize and verbalize emotions (e.g., chair work), use CBT to counteract automatic negative thoughts, and practice anger-management and cognitive restructuring. Establish strict communication protocols, consistent routines, stress-management, and reduce environmental triggers to stabilize mood
