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1. 00:02 people with severe dissociation are often misunderstood they're often mispersceived as liars dissociation involves memory lapses and lost time and this is a terrifying experience and people try to compensate for it to reframe it to ignore it to deny it to repress it no
2. 00:24 one copes well with dissociation dissociation is a thief that takes bits and pieces of your life away and so people try to bridge these gaps and by doing so they appear to be facious and deceitful and dissimulating and deceptive frequently these people appear
3. 00:48 to be lying but they're actually not prearicating it is just that because of their extreme dissociation these people have learned to not forget they hoard memories these people never discard even the tiniest details they document their lives meticulously they memorize dates and
4. 01:11 numerous trivia and data as handles some things to hang on to in their whole ridden minds dissociation engenders compulsive memorizing ironically dissociation forces the individual to revisit time and again recalled snippets and snitches and
5. 01:39 snatches of of a life ill-lived then try to put them together within a coherent and cohesive narrative and then there are holes in this narrative they're gaps and the individual invents a story and so these pieces of fiction which glue the narrative together which
6. 02:03 generate a simulacum of continuity they appear to be lies deliberate premeditative and manip premeditated and manipulative machavelian lies but they're not dissociative people have uh often contradictory memories about the same object the same event the same person at the same
7. 02:28 time a dissociative person can regard the same woman for example as both irresistible and impulsive and repulsive so a person with dissociation can hold simultaneously mutually exclusive memories and appraisals evaluations of other people and so as I said a man with
8. 02:57 dissociation a heterosexual man with dissociation can regard a woman as both irresistibly attractive and undeniably repulsive repellent the same building as prestigious decryptic the same person as someone who makes him feel good or feel bad and all these coexist within a space
9. 03:24 which is compensatory there's an attempt to compensate for the dissociation by as I said hoarding all these memories never never letting go never updating never revising never recreating the narrative to accommodate new data and new information and such gaping
10. 03:44 discrepancies make dissociative people appear inconsistent and deceitful but we are not talking about lying this is not lying this is not deception it is simply an archaeological memory multi-layered these people maintain access to all the conflicting layers and strata at
11. 04:08 once they access all the memories regardless of the time stamp at once but why would these people have radically differing viewpoints about the same person the same event the same object why would they have memories that contradict each other that are mutually
12. 04:28 exclusive when it comes to the same target of memory the same object of memory precisely because of the way that these people struggle to maintain their unruly memory and to cling to it desperately these people never delete a memory because they cherish their
13. 04:49 memories like so much treasure these people cherish their memories like treasures because they have so few of them which are genuine and authentic and undisturbed and unperturbed when there is a troubling gap and their memory fails them patients
14. 05:11 or clients or people with dissociation confabulate they invent a plausible probable narrative or a scenario that must or may have happened and then they come to believe in it and regarded as fact and they try to convince other people that their
15. 05:32 confabulation this concocted plug that is intended to somehow bridge the memory gap is real has always been real has always been factual and when they encounter a challenge or a disagreement they react with aggression and they acquire a reputation for lying for
16. 05:52 macity for deceitfulness which is utterly unjustified it is just a forone attempt to reestablish continuity in a disjointed broken life an identity that could never coalesce because the underlying memories were severely hampered and obstructed and shattered and
17. 06:17 fragmented so these people never get rid of a memory they never replace one memory with another they never modify a memory they simp simply end the memory to another memory even if the two memories are diametrically opposed even if the two memories contradict each
18. 06:35 other even when the two memories refer to the same person same event same object and they can't sit well together because they are totally opposite even then the two memories are retained and recalled and accessed simultaneously so people with dissociation are highly ambivalent
19. 06:58 they hate and love at the same time they find you attractive and repulsive simultaneously they detest aesthetically an object or a piece of architecture even as they admire it they have conflicting contradictory streams of consciousness and cognitions
20. 07:21 dissociation is typical in borderline personality disorder and may be the reason the cause of idealization devaluation approach avoidance these cycles of behavior these cycles of attitude these cycles of motivation these cycles of interpersonal
21. 07:46 intense relationships these cycles may emanate from the very fact that the borderline is dissociative the narcissist is dissociative and they're unable to discard antiquated outofdate memories in favor of more updated ones and so they they're always ambivalent
22. 08:07 about other people about their own lives about events about objects about values about beliefs they're always ambivalent they always simultaneously um hate and love approach avoid seek and crave reject and fear
23. 08:31 border lines and narcissists but border lines more so are lei the changes in their internal states self states in their cognitions their emotions in their moods are so abrupt and violent that they disrupt any personal continuity and a sense of coherent
24. 08:50 identity and this discontinuity also makes border lines and narcissists appear to be facious liars but they're not this discontinuity this identity diffusion or identity disturbance is real these people are not pretending to be someone else they are someone else from time to
25. 09:15 time it's very very reminiscent of dissociative identity disorder or multiple personality disorder which of course are based on dissociation borderline and narcissists are just struggling with their fragmented memories and excruciating liability with the
26. 09:35 volatility with the contradictions inherent in their state of mind with their inability to create cohesive internally consistent narratives that sit well with reality and of course with their impaired reality testing dissociation is at the heart of all these phenomena and a
27. 09:57 crucial part of the ideology of narcissistic and borderline personality disorders