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1. 00:02 egrageous self- neglect self- abuse and
2. 00:08 self-destructiveness are often intended to punish someone the intimate partner family friends or to fend off and protect against much feared intimacy
3. 00:25 so self- neglect is often instrumentalized and nowhere is this more true than with a cerebral narcissist the cerebral narcissist renders himself unattractive to his partner in a variety of ways by gaining weight neglecting his body and personal hygiene not attending to medical
4. 00:50 problems rotting teeth crumbling health dressing shabily and so on this self-inflicted and ostentatious display of corporeal bodily abuse has the effect of bringing sexual and physical intimacy to a screeching halt forcing the mate or the spouse or the intimate partner into
5. 01:18 patterns of behavior and lifestyle alien to her nature if the partner is codependent and fears abandonment she abdes sex altogether gives it up becomes asexual and if she is not she is forced into adultery and promiscuity before I go further half of all narcissists are
6. 01:43 women and the gender gender pronouns are interchangeable so this kind of narcissist the cerebral narcissist is afraid of encounters with the opposite sex if he is heterosexual afraid of encounters with potential sex partners or potential sex objects he's even more afraid of
7. 02:05 emotional involvement or commitment that he fancies himself prone to develop following a sexual encounter so this kind of cerebral narcissist would tell himself "I'm highly emotional i tend to get attached i tend to get bonded in the wake of sex so I'd rather avoid sex." In
8. 02:24 general such a narcissist withdraws not only sexually but also emotionally if he or she is married they lose all overt interest in the spouse or the intimate partner sexual interest and other types of interests the cerebral narcissist confirms
9. 02:44 confines himself to his world he makes sure that he is sufficiently busy to preclude any interaction with his nearest and supposedly dearest work becomes an alibi i'm working don't disturb me don't bother me this kind of narcissist becomes completely immersed in big projects
10. 03:07 lifelong plans all kinds of schemes a vision or a cause all of these are very rewarding narcissistically and all are very demanding and time consuming they leave no place no place for intimacy sex or any other type of interaction with a partner or with a friend
11. 03:30 in such circumstances sex inevitably becomes an obligation a chore a necessity or a maintenance kind of thing it is reluctantly undertaken to preserve a source of supply a family a household a friendship and so on but the reluctance is there and is very evident
12. 03:52 and it's perfectory and cursory and not intimate the sex becomes mechanical by wrote "The cerebral narcissist does not enjoy sex and by far prefers masturbation or objective emotionless sex like consuming pornography or much more rarely group sex or visiting
13. 04:17 prostitutes the cerebral narcissist like all narcissist is autoerotic when he is aroused sexual aroused sexually he is aroused by his or her own body he uses rarely other people's bodies to masturbate with but generally and mostly his body or her body suffices he has no
14. 04:40 need for other people not emotionally but also not physically this kind of narcissist would say "I practice the safest and most thrilling sex there is masturbating to pornography my hand is my intimate partner." loyal always there actually this rebel narcissist uses his mate or
15. 05:05 spouse or intimate partner as an alibi a shield against the intentions of other women an insurance policy which preserves his viral image while making it socially and morally commendable for him to avoid any intimate or sexual contact with other people he
16. 05:22 ostentatiously ignores women other than his wife it's a form of sadistic aggression i call it ostentatious fidelity the idea is to frustrate women especially women who are interested or find the narcissist attractive the cerebral narcissist irresistible and
17. 05:41 they try to initiate something rejecting them gives the narcissist ample pleasure the pleasure of their pain and befuddlement and so now uh please watch an earlier video I've made which delves deeper into this aspect sadistically frustrating
18. 06:03 interested parties as a ways to reassert control and omnipotence and and to enjoy their pain and hurt and confusion
19. 06:17 my name is Sam Baknin and I'm the author of malignant self- loveve narcissism revisited many narcissists especially cerebral narcissists tend to frustrate women who are discernably attracted to them these narcissists refrain from having sex with these women or they
20. 06:39 tease them and then leave them they resist flirtatious and seductive behaviors and so on often these narcissists invoke the existence of a girlfriend fiance a spouse as the reason why they cannot have sex or develop a relationship or even casually interact
21. 07:00 with other women but this is not out of loyalty and fidelity in the empathic and loving sense this is because these narcissists wish and often succeed to sadistically frustrate the feminine interested party this tendency to inflict hurt and pain on women is owing to the fact that
22. 07:24 narcissists are misogynist narcissists hold women in contempt they loathe and fear women they seek to torment and frustrate women either by debasing them sexually or by withholding sex from them narcissists harbor ambiguous feelings towards a sexual act and of course
23. 07:46 intimacy in the narcissist mind there is a clear separation between the honest women of his life really saints we're talking about his mother his spouse his daughters and the the prostitutes that he is having sex with the narcissist divides all women to saints
24. 08:07 and he finds it difficult to have sex which is dirty forbidden punishable and degrading with feminine significant others with his spouse with his intimate girlfriend to the narcissist sex and intimacy are mutually exclusive rather than mutually expressive or mutually enhancing
25. 08:30 propositions with the exception of the meaningful women in his life the narcissist tends to view all females in a bad light the narcissist frustrating behavior thus achieves a dual purpose to secure narcissistic supply on the one hand by being courted by being admired
26. 08:49 by being pursued and to reenact old unresolved conflicts and traumas with his mother the cerebral narcissist also does not enjoy sex and by far prefers masturbation or objective emotionless sex he he is the kind who would go for instance to prostitutes on a regular
27. 09:15 basis actually the cerebral narcissist uses his mate or spouse as an alibi a shield against the attentions of other women an insurance policy which preserves his ver virility his ver image while making it socially and morally commendable for him to avoid any
28. 09:35 intimate sexual contact with other women ostentatiously ignoring women other than his wife which is a form of aggression the narcissist feels righteous in saying "I'm a faithful husband." At the same time he feels hostility towards his spouse for
29. 09:55 ostensibly preventing him from freely expressing his sexuality for isolating him from carnal pleasures for burying him alive so to speak the narcissist's thwarted logic and deficient cognition goes something like this i am married i'm attached to this
30. 10:15 woman therefore I'm not allowed to be in any form of contact with other women which might be interpreted as more than casual or businesslike this is why I refrain from having anything to do with women this is why because I'm being faithful as opposed to most other amoral
31. 10:32 immoral men but continues the inner dialogue i do not like this situation i envy my free peers they can have as much sex and romance as they want to while I am confined to this marriage shamed by my wife my freedom curse i'm angry at her and I will punish her by abstaining from
32. 10:54 having sex with her altogether thus frustrated the narcissist minimizes all manner of intercourse with his close circle spouse children parents siblings very intimate friends sexual intercourse of course but also verbal or emotional the narcissist limits himself to the
33. 11:15 rawest most basic exchanges of information and isolates himself socially completely the narcissist reclusion ensures against a future hurt and avoids the intimacy that he so dreads but again this way by staying at home by refusing all social contact he also
34. 11:38 secures and the replay of old unresolved conflicts it's a catch 22 finally the narcissist is really left alone by everyone with no secondary sources of narcissistic supply whatsoever to reiterate the narcissist hates women virolently passionately and
35. 12:01 uncompromisingly his hate is primal irrational the progeny of mortal fear and sustained abuse granted most narcissists learn how to disguise camouflage even repress these untoward feelings but their hatred towards women does swing out of control and erupt from time to
36. 12:24 time sex in the narcissist mind is reserved to all other women in the world and this division resolves the narcissist's constant cognitive dissonance i want her but I don't need anyone but there is is always this but it also this this attribution of of
37. 12:48 bad morality to women who have sex also legitimizes the narcissist sadistic urges abstaining from sex is a major and recurrent narcissistic penalty inflicted on these feminine uh female transgressors the perception that women are horse also carries well with the frequent
38. 13:10 idealization devaluation cycles that the narcissist goes through the idealized females those who would later become spouse or they are sexless they are asexual in the narcissist mind they don't need sex they don't want sex they would never engage
39. 13:27 in sex this dirty act the divided ones the ones he desires the ones he sometimes does have sex with they are deserving of their degradation sex and the contempt that inevitably follows thereafter the narcissist believes firmly that women are out to hunt men by
40. 13:50 genetic disposition as a result he feels threatened as any prey would this of course is an intellectualization of the real state of affairs narcissist feels threatened by women and tries to justify this irrational fear by imbuing them with objective menacing qualities i'm afraid
41. 14:13 of women but I am my fear is justified they really are huntresses you know dangerous and this is a small detail in a larger canvas the narcissist pathologizes others in order to control them so he also pathologizes women the narcissist believes that once the their
42. 14:33 prey is secured women assume the role of body slashes having hed the men down they absconded with a male's sperm they generate an endless stream of demanding and nosedrickking children financially bleed the men in their lives to cater to their needs and to their needs of their
43. 14:52 dependence and so on and so forth the man becomes a kind of slave uh bitten by a woman vampire put differently the narcissist regards women as parasites leeches whose sole function is to suck dry every man they find in tarantula like decapitate the
44. 15:13 men once no longer useful this of course is exactly what the narcissist himself is doing to people it's what we call projection his view's view of women is actually a projection women threaten this quest for u for uniqueness and narcissistic supply
45. 15:35 women are women are sex women are intimacy and sex is besture it's common there's nothing special or unique about sex women's sexual needs threaten to reduce the narcissist to the lowest common denominator intimacy sex human emotions are so widespread that if the
46. 15:54 narcissist were to have them it would prove that he is not special everybody and anybody can feel everybody and anybody copulate and breed there's nothing in these activities to set the narcissist apart or above others and yet women seem to be interested in
47. 16:14 exactly these very things thus the narcissist emotionally believes that women are the continuation of his mother by other means and in different guises heterosexual narcissist desire women as does any other red-blooded male or even more so owing to their special
48. 16:34 symbolic nature of women in the narcissist psyche humbling a woman in acts of faintly sad mazoistic sex is a way of getting back at mother but the narcissist is frustrated by his inability to meaningfully interact with women by women's apparent emotional depth and
49. 16:55 powers of psychological penetration whether it's real or imagined is another story and of course by women's sexuality women's incessant demands for intimacy are perceived by the narcissist as a threat he recoils instead of getting closer the cerebral narcissist also
50. 17:13 despises and derides sex itself as we said before and thus caught in a seemingly intractable repetition complex in approach approach avoidance cycles the narcissist becomes furious at the source of his frustration some narcissists set out to do some
51. 17:31 frustrating of their own they tease women passively or actively they pretend to be asexual or in any case they turn down rather cruy any feminine attempt to court them and to get closer sadistically these kind of narcissists tremendously enjoy their
52. 17:49 ability to frustrate the desires passions and sexual wishes of women or their wish for intimacy this kind of frustration inflicted upon women makes them feel omnipotent and self-righteous narcissist regularly frustrate all women sexually and significant women in their lives both
53. 18:11 sexually and emotionally