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1. 00:01 the malignant narcissist is a delectable concoction of narcissism psychopathy and sadism The worst of all personality disorders combines with the worst of all personality trait domains But what goes inside the mind of such a person What are what are the
2. 00:27 psychonamics What's the inner experience of being a malignant narcissist Now we all have heard of the empty schizoid core The emptiness the void the black hole at the core of certain mental illnesses and personality disorders such as for example borderline personality disorder
3. 00:51 narcissistic personality disorder schizoid personality disorder to some extent paranoid personality disorder and definitely antisocial personality disorder There is a darkness there There is a deep space with howling winds There is an absence masquerading desperately as a
4. 01:18 presence And nowhere is this more pronounced than in malignant narcissism The malignant narcissist is doubly dead He is dead inside which is the equivalent of psychopathy and borderline But he is also dead outside Narcissism The inability to perceive the
5. 01:42 separateness and externality of other people means that there is no way to experience social interrelatedness love positive emotions and so on So the deadness of the malignant narcissist is twofold inward facing and public facing psychopathic borderline and
6. 02:07 narcissistic The malignant narcissist has no internal reality And at the same time he is incapable of perceiving external reality By the way whereas in classical narcissism half of all narcissists are women in malignant narcissism the vast majority of psychopathic narcissists are
7. 02:33 men So the malignant narcissist experiences his own analment his own negation his own not being It's an individual who has failed to become It's someone who started on the way of forming integrating and constellating a self Someone who was naent someone who was about to emerge
8. 03:02 And then the process was disrupted And all that remained behind was the potential and the and the void of the emptiness where a human being a person or a personality should have been There's no personhood there It's very difficult to explain and
9. 03:23 to communicate It's very difficult to wrap your mind around it But it is a kind of absence that maintains pretensions of being pretensions of existence And it does this by creating a facade a mask a
10. 03:44 persona the false self And it it exists vicariously by proxy through the false self people's reactions to the false self people interactions with the false self they constitute the only experience a narcissist and definitely a malignant narcissist can
11. 04:05 have But this raises of course a philosophical question If malignant narcissism and narcissism by extension is about emptiness a void absence there's nobody there nobody at home If the lights are out who is doing the experiencing Who is doing the
12. 04:30 experiencing of the reactions of people to to the false self Who is doing the experiencing of interactions with people Who is there to amalgamate and correlate experiences into some kind of semblance of cohision and continuity Who is this Who is this agent And the answer in the
13. 04:54 case of the malignant narcissist is that it is the sadist the sadist in the malignant narcissist because remember malignant narcissist is combination of narcissist psychopath and sadist the narcissist and the psychopath are incapable of experiencing inner reality or in the
14. 05:14 case of the narcissist outer reality So the only element the only component and ingredient of malignant narcissism that can and does experience is the sadist Now it may sound shocking and even esoteric but actually pain is the mediator of existence in many mental
15. 05:45 illnesses Border lines for example self harm They cause pain to themselves They cut They burn They sexually self trash They engage in dangerous reckless behaviors They defy including defy authority so that they're punished So there is a self-defeating self-destructive streak
16. 06:09 in borderline personality disorder which causes pain Substance abusers self-extinguish via substances such as alcohol or drugs And all these people do it in order to drown their inner empty deadness in order to feel alive So pain or the the leveraging of
17. 06:38 pain the exploit exploitation of pain in order to somehow get in touch with your own existence somehow feel alive if only for a moment This is pretty common in several mental health disorders and illnesses It's not unique to the malignant narcissist In the case of the borderline
18. 07:03 she uses pain to drown the inner noise She creates drama in an external noise in order to drown the inner mayhem and tumult At the same time when she harms herself in whichever way she feels alive she comes alive And this is the core feature in malignant narcissism as well
19. 07:29 But malignant narcissist are so dead that they're unable to experience even pain Whereas the borderline can experience pain Whereas the drug abuser can experience pain Whereas even the narcissist to some extent can experience pain The malignant
20. 07:50 narcissist is too dead too far gone to experience even pain Pain The numbing is too extreme too prevalent too all perervasive too constant And so even the experience of pain is denied to the malignant narcissist And the only way for the malignant narcissist to somehow get in
21. 08:15 touch with pain and then leverage the pain to somehow feel alive the only way is to witness the pain in other people to inflict it on other people So whereas the borderline hurts herself the malignant narcissist hurts other people And that is of course a
22. 08:39 great definition of sadism A malleant narcissism is sadistic not only for the pleasure of it Although sadism uh produces elation and euphoria in the malignant narcissist the sense of omnipotence a sense of control But there's another equally important
23. 09:01 function The malignant narcissist uses pain in order to prove to himself that he exists In order to experience some kind of being he inflicts pain upon other people and their reactions provide him with shall we say
24. 09:23 existential supply a being supply of being When the malignant narcissist hurts other people when he causes them agony when he tortures them and torments them when he reduces them to heaps of of pain and
25. 09:44 gory um um experiences it is then witnessing them observing them that he somehow comes alive is resurrected and resuscitated and for a brief moment experiences what it means to be what it means to exist and not only to be and to exist but to be and to exist as a
26. 10:13 god-like figure It is a kind of epiphany and apotheiois Other people's pain is the nectar the ambrosia and the elixir of the malignant narcissist It brings them back from the dead It's a religious experience So malignant narcissists inflict agony on their targets and
27. 10:38 victims and they immerse themselves in the hapless tormented writhing of their victims They observe but they're not detached They're not objective They revel in what's happening Other people's torment other people's helplessness other people's hopelessness other people's
28. 11:05 hurt is their food They consume it It's sustenance keeps them alive thriving and functioning This anguish that they induce revives them energizes them elates them It is a resurrection an anastasis They thrive on it insatiable craving devouring and
29. 11:30 predatory Their aggression is channeled and transsubstantiated via the flesh and blood of their prey Did I say religion It is an experience of life by proxy vicariously by consuming other people Never mind how partial and thwarted it is It is far better than the alternative
30. 11:54 of not existing at all of a dead absence which resonates only with one's disappearance with one's negation with one's analment It is terrifying to be nothing And so the malignant narcissist would do anything to somehow forget that by all rights and for all intents and
31. 12:21 purposes he has never existed and does not exist even now