Tip: click a paragraph to jump to the exact moment in the video. Smear Campaign: Turn Narcissist’s Flying Monkeys Against Him/Her

1. 00:01 I coined the phrase flying monkeys in the early 1990s to describe people who are under the spell of the narcissist The Narcissist uses these extensions of himself in order to interact with victims current and former victims and in order to manipulate uh people into highly specif
2. 00:28 specified and specific behaviors which are conducive to The Narcissist shared fantasy as an aside the phrase flying monkeys is not inspired by The Wizard of Oz in The Wizard of Oz they are called winged monkeys and actually I call in the phrase flying monkeys having watched a
3. 00:52 National Geographic documentary where monkeys took over a temple in a abandon Temple and they were flying off the parapets and the fortifications of the temple and they were in control of this highly intricate architectural compound I found it eerie and
4. 01:18 terrifying that a group of flying monkeys could take over a civilization in effect the narcissist us as flying monkeys to take over it’s a hostile takeover mechanism and he converts people around him in order to do his bidding and when I say he and his it
5. 01:42 could be she and her half of all narcissist a women today we’re going to discuss how to turn the narcissist flying monkeys against him or her my name is s Bakin I am the author of malignant self-love narcissism Revisited I am also a former visiting professor of
6. 02:04 psychology and currently a professor of Clinical Psychology and business management in cups in Cambridge United Kingdom so let’s delve let’s fly right in fly monkeys are usually involved in two types of narcissistic activities the first type is when the
7. 02:25 narcissist breaks up devalues and discards his earthw pseudo intimate partner within the shared fantasy or when the narcissist himself has been discarded devalued and dumped by said intimate partner in this case post post breakup The Narcissist uses flying monkeys in
8. 02:48 order to spy on the intimate partner or in order to manipulate her or in order to destroy her reputation or damage her in some way punish her in a way so it’s part of a vindictive agenda a grudge and payback time these are the two cases where flying monkeys are used now one of
9. 03:09 the major instruments in obtaining uh the second course of action is known as a smear campaign smear campaign is the persistent structured spreading of misinformation lies exaggerations and half truth about a specific person in this case The Narcissist Earth while intimate partner
10. 03:38 or former friend or colleague etc etc now the only correct response to a smear campaign is no response I repeat this the only correct response to a smear campaign is no response there is no other type of response to a smear comp P that is a winning strategy It All Leads to further
11. 04:05 escalation or to an exacerbation of the situation it never ends well for the victim especially there is damage to reputation in a smear campaign but this damage to reputation is zero or non-existent among true friends true friends are not going to listen to the
12. 04:27 messaging of the smear campaign they’re not going to believe any of the lies and half truths they’re going to dismiss they’re going to discard attempts to turn the mind and opinion of you um counterfactually so your true friends are not going to be affected by the
13. 04:47 smear campaign your reputation is safe and intact with true friends the same goes for workplaces which are essentially just and work places that are organized as communities in such workplaces the damage to rep your reputation is likely to be minimal and
14. 05:10 at the very least there would be procedures to allow you to demonstrate your innocence and your honesty so you don’t need to worry about the impacts and aftershocks and after effects of the smar campaign among your true friends and in a workplace that is anyhow benevolent
15. 05:30 Comm communal and pro-social you do need to worry um about fake friends and about workplaces that are organized around bullying and power plays and mind games but this is exactly the utility of a smear campaign it is a useful filter it is a membrane in the wake of a smear
16. 05:56 campaign you will see the true face of people people around you you will have discovered who is your true loyal uh friend and who is just pretending to be a friend you will find out whether the workplace you’ve dedicated your time and effort and
17. 06:15 resources to stands behind you has your back or whether they are actually just waiting for your downfall in order to gloat so a smear campaign is one hell of a way to we out fake friends um psychop Fons um workplaces which don’t have your back nonsupportive environments and
18. 06:43 enemies pretending to be friends and even for enemies so don’t regard the smear campaign as a negative uh actuality it’s actually a very positive event that allows you to purify and cleanse your life so that you remain attached to and embedded in environments
19. 07:09 and with people you can trust okay still there are situations rare however they may be where you cannot get rid of the narcissist or his flying monkeys situations where you’re essentially a hostage of circumstances dependencies which are legal legally encoded common children
20. 07:32 Financial Arrangements co-ownership of businesses Etc in this situations you have to somehow cope with the onslaught of flying monkeys flying monkeys amplify The Narcissist message they aggrandize The Narcissist they magnify his efforts they are like a multiplier of a
21. 07:57 narcissist so rather than cope with a simp narcissist you suddenly find yourself um confronting an army a zombie army of would be narcissist WN to be narcissist Echoes of the narcissist and Shadows of the narcissist that could be very unsettling and very frightening
22. 08:17 even one of the main techniques you can use is to turn the Flying Monkey now in order to explain this I need to regress a bit to the field of Counter Intelligence so in Counter Intelligence we turn agents into assets we turn agents of the other side into our agents our
23. 08:43 assets so this is known as a double agent so if I work for a Counter Intelligence service and then there’s a guy or a girl sent by the opposing Counter Intelligence service by the intelligence service of the enemy and this guy or girl infiltrate my
24. 09:05 intelligence service and they’re working for the enemy they’re working for the adversary I can turn this person to become my agent rather than the agent of the enemy and this is known as turning an agent into an asset or double agent you could do this with the flying
25. 09:27 monkeys the first thing you need to do is you need to appear to be collaborative and compliant you need to Fain or fake gratitude to the Flying Monkey you need to thank the Flying Monkey profusely you need to pretend to listen carefully at with ruptured
26. 09:50 attention H to be attentive to what the flying monkey has to say you need to note everything down you need to nod your head you need to be aaz Ed visibly and ostentatiously by the flying monkey’s intelligence and by his heartwarming and hearttouching loyalty to you because
27. 10:09 flying monkeys pretend to be loyal to you they pretend to have your best interest in mind they fake friendship they’re very dangerous in this sense they are enablers of the narcissist and they are your enemies so but you must play the game you must play alone
28. 10:30 pretend that you’re more stupid than you are more naive more gullible more open to manipulation and that you have been deceived efficaciously by the Flying Monkey you need to give the Flying Monkey the impression that he has succeeded to pull the wool over your
29. 10:48 eyes he succeeded to deceive you he succeeded to mislead you and so you become collaborative and compliant and submissive and grateful and you need to communicate this to the Flying Monkey so that the flying monkey’s guard is down flying monkey reaches the conclusion that
30. 11:08 mission accomplished I own the target I own the mark another option is to act as if you are scared as if you’re scared of the Flying Monkey as if you are scared of the narcissist this is an excellent technique because when you’re scared the other party becomes
31. 11:29 less defensive the other party gloats the other party celebrates success your visible ostentatious fear and the the fact that you have been successfully intimidated encourages the other party to act recklessly thoughtlessly and to commit mistakes it allows you to elicit
32. 11:55 additional information about the narcissist and his circus ring of flying monkeys it lowers the guard of the conspirators against you so let’s summarize this first phase make a choice either you appear to be collaborative submissive compliant obsequious
33. 12:18 grateful and let the Flying Monkey think that his mission has succeeded and he will report it back to the narcissist or you act as if you’re terrified as if you’re scared as if you’re paralyzed disabled and convey to the narcissist and the flying monkey that your your
34. 12:39 your defenses have been demolished that you are um absolutely not going to resist that they can do anything to you this will cause them to behave recklessly to commit stupid mistakes and will allow you to glean a lot of additional very critical information
35. 12:59 this is stage one stage two having acquired the Flying Monkey because when you behave in the aforementioned way the Flying Monkey believes that he owns you the Flying Monkey believes that you are his and again when I say he it’s a she yeah flying monkeys could definitely be
36. 13:19 women women so when you give the Flying Monkey the impression that mission accomplished I have succeeded I have taken over the target the Mark is mind um the victim is terrified intimidated paralyzed grateful to me as a flying monkey and accepts my message believes
37. 13:40 my information is collaborative when you have given the Flying Monkey this erroneous information starts to feed the flying monkey with wrong information with disinformation as you feed the flying monkey with thisinformation the this disinformation is bound liable to reach
38. 14:03 the narcissist any morsel any morsel of news any bit of data any information that you give to the Flying Monkey is gathered eagerly by said flying monkey and forwarded immediately to The Narcissist this is a channel of communication this is your
39. 14:26 opportunity to contaminate the n his mind with disinformation wrong information counterproductive information useless information to lead the narcissist astray to cause him to behave in ways which undermine his own goals to make the wrong assumptions about you your
40. 14:49 life your social network your plans this is your chance to mislead The Narcissist so dramatically so radically and so extremely that the narcissist campaign against you will never recover now of course always embed nuggets of Truth in the information that you provide to the Flying
41. 15:14 Monkey Never Lie 100% of the time never provide 100% unadulterated unmitigated disinformation always make sure that 10% 20% 30% is is the truth are the facts so
42. 15:32 if the narcissist bothers to cross check and verify the information that you had provided to the to him through the Flying Monkey The Narcissist would find out and latch and latch onto these nuggets of Truth and would believe the total package these are common
43. 15:52 techniques in Counter Intelligence when we turn an agent when we convert the enemy’s flying monkeys into our flying monkeys number two number three spy on the narcissist anticipate the narcissist next moves via the flying monkey as a flying monkey tries to
44. 16:18 acquire your trust as a flying monkey acts as if he or she is your best friend has your interest in mind is protective of you promotes you defends you as the
45. 16:33 Flying Monkey is so immersed in so engaged in acting in pretending in faking this is the opportunity to obtain real information about The Narcissist The Narcissist whereabouts The Narcissist plans The Narcissist emotions The Narcissist Thoughts The Narcissist
46. 16:56 uh involvements with other people the narcissist conspiracy against you Etc the Flying Monkey is likely to provide you with a lot of truthful information in an attempt to make you trust him to acquire your allegiance to create a sensation of we
47. 17:19 against the world it’s us against the world so flying monkey is going to try to create a cult-like environment with you pretending to be on your side against the narcissist very often but to do so the flying monkey has to provide you with useful valuable information about The
48. 17:41 Narcissist make maximum effort to secure
49. 17:47 this kind of data play hard to get while you while you are being collaborative and compliant and submissive and visibly ostentatiously grateful and trusting and naive and gullible while you playing all this also play hard to get don’t give away too much at the
50. 18:11 beginning let the Flying Monkey barter or trade his nuggets of Truth for your nuggets of FAL falsities and lies and disinformation it it’s going to it’s it works try it out you don’t believe how much information you can obtain from the Flying Monkey about the narcissist
51. 18:36 next through the Flying Monkey you can get acquainted with other flying monkeys very often flying monkeys act in groups and these groups are cohesive coherent they share the same agenda the same philosophy the same mod operandi modes of methods of operation and the
52. 18:59 same connection to the narcissist the narcissist is the brain the heart the core of the operation the headquarters and the flying monkeys are flying monkeys but they know each other in the majority of cases they know each other use one flying monkey to identify
53. 19:18 the others involved in the conspiracy or the campaign against you ask the Flying Monkey to introduce you to other flying monkeys all the time pretending to be inth to be amazed to be grateful to be to be absolutely willing to to collude and to collaborate with the flying
54. 19:42 monkeys uh pretend that you find the Flying Monkeys trustworthy helpful honest and your friends friendly so so that they feel comfortable to introduce you to other flying monkeys the Flying Monkey would operate under the assumption that the higher the number of
55. 20:02 flying monkeys the better the outcome as far as a narcissist is concerned it’s like if three people if one person tells you you are drunk you can ignore them but if three people tell you you’re drunk you better go to bed so it’s the same principle here the narcissist sends
56. 20:19 multiple flying monkeys your way all of them promulgating announcing and pronouncing the same message as the message as an identical message flows from the mouths of multiple flying monkeys the belief is that you will finally succumb you will finally accept the message you will
57. 20:41 finally recognize the truthfulness and veracity of the message so narcissists never use a single flying monkey usually there are many of them ask the Flying Monkey dour Flying Monkey in touch with you to introduce you to the others listen to their what they have to say
58. 20:58 use them the same way use them to feed the narcissist with misinformation and disinformation use them to spy on the narcissist gather information on what the narcissist is planning to do next and so on so forth at some point the flying monkeys will be the
59. 21:18 fall of the narcissist the flying monkeys will undermine the narcissist at some point the flying monkeys will have given you so much information and of course record everything absolutely record everything legally of course so you will have you
60. 21:36 will have so much information given to you on a silver platter by the flying monkeys that you’re ready to make your move you’re ready to expose The Narcissist often criminal conspiracy you’re ready to go to law enforcement to the media or online the social media the
61. 21:57 narcissist and his flying monkeys usually commit crimes usually harassment and much worse than that and so that’s one way the other way even if they hadn’t committed any crimes which is very rare even then their behavior is
62. 22:20 conspiratorial it’s very clear that the narcissist and his flying monkeys engage in a in a an attempt to take you down to destroy you to damage you to ruin you to devastate you and people close to you your nearest and dearest this is frowned upon by the public no one likes
63. 22:47 conspirators and evil malevolent malicious people out to destroy other people no one likes that even though the narcissist any flying monkeys are likely to claim victimhood they usually compromise themselves verbally in written messages and with their
64. 23:11 actions so a narcissist and his flying monkeys are likely to claim that they have been victimized by you you are the perpetrator you are the abuser but they will have given you rims and rims and rims of data to prove that they are the criminals they are the
65. 23:33 conspirators they are the ones who commit abuse on a regular basis they are the ones who have been verbally abusive they are the ones who misbehaved in the most egregious Manner and ways possible and targeted you and everyone around you your loved ones your colleagues your
66. 23:54 workplace and so on so forth trying to destroy your livelihood trying to take away your reputation trying to affect you in some way so as to disable you to paralyze you and essentially to push you if possible to Suicide so flying monkeys in order to accomplish
67. 24:15 their agenda and and their goals on behalf of the narcissist trade with trade a lot of information divulge divulge a lot of information expose their intentions and pushed to the Limit by you you you play hard to get but on the verge of it’s like I’m hard to get but
68. 24:39 if if you only invest a little more you’re going to obtain you’re going to accomplish your gold so the flying monkey goes a bit further a step further the whole nine yards and and so at some point the flying monkeys expose The Narcissist his conspiracy his plans his
69. 24:57 malevolence his sadism his uh criminality his antisocial behavior and so on so forth so let me recap the five steps
70. 25:12 number one fake fake collaboration fake compliance fake submissiveness fake gratitude to the Flying Monkey pretend that you have fallen for the scam that you’re glibble you’re naive that you’re easy to manipulate let them believe that they have succeeded act as if you’re scared
71. 25:38 terrified ostentatiously give them all the material they need to believe that they are taking you down that they have suppressed your activity that you are afraid of them this makes them incautious their guard is down they gloat they become uh
72. 26:01 grandio Reckless defiant and they make mistakes many mistakes wait for them to make these mistakes and document these mistakes keep the documentation of these mistakes in the evidence file against them Point number two feed the narcissist via the
73. 26:23 flying monkeys with wrong information disinformation useless information containing some nuggets of truth that redirect The Narcissist efforts and energy flying monkeys attempts redirect all this um in absolutely wrong path and trajectory a diverting them from the
74. 26:51 real V your real vulnerabilities your real soft spots creating for them an image of yourself that is completely wrong number three spy on the narcissist via the flying monkeys the flying monkeys are likely to provide you with a lot of information about The Narcissist use it to
75. 27:11 anticipate the narcissist next moves in the conspiracy against you number four identify other people involved in this conspiracy or campaign against you other flying monkeys once you’ve identified the totality once you we have a list of names of who participated in the
76. 27:31 conspiracy together with the narcissist and a conspiracy it is just to be clear conspiracy is a crime it’s a criminal offense once you have done this you are on safe ground number four the other option is keep the evidence keep the evidence that you have
77. 27:53 a masked that you’ve accumulated against the narcissist and his flying Circ of monkeys for future use in case the narcissist and his flying monkeys attempt a second round or collude with other mon flying monkeys try to extort you blackmail you threaten you terrify
78. 28:13 you intimidate you prevent you from acting in certain ways and so on so forth then you have this overwhelming body of evidence against them and which would allow you to for example example work with lawyers and with law enforcement to put a stop to the smear
79. 28:34 campaign and all these Allied activities and again Believe It or Not these are criminal activities in every jurisdiction that I’m aware of so this is on how to turn flying monkeys against the narcissis think of flying monkeys as spies as intelligence agents
80. 28:58 who have penetrated your organization then turn them against the narcissist convert the flying monkeys into double agents double flying monkeys working for you rather than working for the narcissist even if they are not aware that they are actually working for you
81. 29:21 use these five point scheme and you will win any smear campaign and any attempt to take you down good luck