Today there’s a short piece. It’s a warning. I advise you to steal yourself, double E, to be strong and to listen to it to the end. Please listen to the end. It’s not that long and every word counts.

Before I put on the warning, you need to understand that you are an external object to the narcissist. Narcissists are incapable of grasping or internal objects or interacting with them.

So what the narcissist does, the narcissist dissociates you, cuts you off, essentially forgets you.

Because as an external object, you’re independent, you’re autonomous, you’re agentic and therefore you’re threatening because you cannot be fully controlled, totally manipulated and you’re capable of abandoning the narcissist or hurting him in some way.

So you constitute a threat. Your externality, your separateness from the narcissist constitutes a threat, your autonomy, your agency and so on. So the narcissist most of the time forgets about you. He interacts with an internal object that represents you in his mind and he forgets about your existence as an external object. He is forced to remember, he is forced to recall that you are out there in reality only when you act with independence, only when you make decisions and choices that have nothing to do with the narcissist with his needs or with a shared fantasy only when you interact with other people such as friends or family.

In all these cases the narcissist is coerced into recalling that you exist apart from him, that you exist separately to him and this triggers him. He feels threatened, he feels frustrated, resentful and it lays him to be aggressive and this happens multiple times a day.

Imagine, ultimately the narcissist is exhausted by this process of amnesia and recall, forgetting and remembering, deleting you and resurrecting you. It’s tiring, it’s erosive, it’s corrosive.

So the narcissist reaches a point that is only adaptive strategy is to eliminate you essentially somehow.

Metaphorically of course in the vast majority of cases but still it’s a process of eradicating you, nullifying you, negating you, vitiating you, making sure you no longer exist in any meaningful way as an external object and this is the topic of today’s warning. Listen to the end.

Nastiest don’t do belonging, they don’t do acceptance, they don’t do society, they don’t do social interaction, they don’t do positive emotion, they don’t do any of this.

Nastiestist sees you, envies you, wants to take over you, steal your life, scavenge, it’s a scavenger, it’s a parasite. He wants to become you by destroying you, he wants to become you by taking everything you have, everything you own, everything you work for, every idea you ever come up with, every person who’s ever entered your life, every location you’ve ever been to, he wants to become you.

And the only way to become you is for you to not be anymore, to disappear. He wants to kill you, Nastiest wants to kill you, metaphorically or really in some cases, so that he can become you.

That’s anchoring the narcissist’s style, there’s no other way the narcissist knows how to interact with people.

If he comes across an intimate partner, she becomes the anchor and he wants her, he wants to convert her into a totally imaginary figment in his shared fantasy, he wants to denude her of her humanity, separateness, individuality, independence, autonomy, agency, self-efficacy, he wants her dead.

The narcissist is focused on death, he reifies the death instinct where all other human beings subsist on libido, on the force of life, on Elon Vital, on Eros. The narcissist is the embodiment, the reification of the death instinct.

The narcissist is walking, talking, death. He spreads death around him, doesn’t have to be physical death, often is not, but he kills people, he kills things, he kills relationships, he kills even his own fantasies and ultimately he kills himself.

Actually it all starts by having killed himself, the child exposed to abuse and trauma in early childhood, kills himself as a true self and is reborn as a narrative, as a piece of fiction, in other words as a dead object.

The narcissist from an early age has rendered himself dead so as not to experience hurt, shame and pain and rejection and then proceeds through life as the walking dead and he infects you with his own death.

He introduces you into his cycle of grieving and you’re there shriveling, withering, losing drip by drip and drop by drop any hint of life that may have ever occupied you. You’re dying together with a narcissist and he sees it as if he is giving you life, his life, the vampiric sort I can, I would say.