Tip: click a paragraph to jump to the exact moment in the video. Borderline: Narcissist’s Mirror (and Avoidant Personality Disorder)

1. 00:01 foreign the late psychoanalyst James grochstein had suggested at the time that a
2. 00:09 borderline patient is a failed narcissist the child attempts to develop narcissism
3. 00:17 as a defense against abuse and Trauma in early childhood and if the child fails
4. 00:23 for a variety of reasons the child remains stuck at the borderline phase
5. 00:29 grouchstein was a giant in the study of borderline personality disorder he was
6. 00:35 the one who developed the metaphor of the black hole together with Wilfred
7. 00:41 Beyond and Tustin and others he suggested that at the core of the
8. 00:47 borderline patient there’s a black hole in emptiness kernberg developed the same
9. 00:54 concept and then Seinfeld with the empty schizoid core
10. 01:00 today I’m going to take this a step further rather than merely suggest that the
11. 01:07 borderline is a failed narcissist I’m going to propose that borderline personality disorder is a mirroring a mirror of narcissism
12. 01:18 the exact opposite of narcissism it’s as if the child had tried to become a narcissist had failed and then the child said well I’m going to do everything the opposite way
13. 01:29 whatever I’ve tried to do in developing pathological narcissism I’m gonna try a
14. 01:35 different path and this path is going to be a mirror image of narcissism as you
15. 01:41 know your image in the mirror is not reality it’s the opposite of reality
16. 01:47 your left side is your right side your right side is your left side you never
17. 01:53 look in reality the way you do in a mirror the borderline is the narcissist mirror
18. 02:02 my name is samvaknin I’m the author of malignant self-love narcissism Revisited I’m also a professor of psychology and today let us delve right into the
19. 02:15 rabbit hole of borderline versus narcissism it is important to realize that the narcissist is bothered by your presence
20. 02:26 and the borderline is bothered by your absence The Narcissist finds your presence intolerable the borderline finds your absence
21. 02:38 menacing The Narcissist tries to dispense with your presence the borderline tries to
22. 02:46 secure it this is the first mirror element while the borderline has extreme separation insecurity abandonment
23. 02:57 anxiety the narcissist is far more concerned with managing and controlling his
24. 03:05 intimate partner in order to accomplish separation we will discuss it a bit later
25. 03:11 but both of them both of them engage in strategies of control
26. 03:20 both of them are very concerned to micromanage your life they are very worried about you getting out of control so both of them the borderline and the
27. 03:33 narcissist try to dissolve you they try to eliminate your separateness
28. 03:40 they try to reduce or eradicate your agency personal autonomy and
29. 03:46 Independence they find these things very very threatening each for his or her own
30. 03:53 reasons before I proceed gnosticism and borderline narcissistic personality disorder and borderline personality disorder are nowadays diagnosed equally
31. 04:04 among men and women yet I’m going to use the male pronouns for the narcissist and
32. 04:11 the female pronouns for the borderline because of historical reasons
33. 04:17 so let us proceed I said that the narcissist is concerned with your presence he feels that your presence is a foundational threat to the precarious
34. 04:30 balance of his non-existent personality the borderline similarly is threatened
35. 04:37 by your absence the borderline in your absence is half a human being she needs
36. 04:44 you she uses you to regulate her internal environment and so both of them try to control you for different reasons The Narcissist renders you inanimate
37. 04:57 The Narcissist tries to convert you into an ancient Egyptian mummy
38. 05:03 he tries to embalm you like ant in Amber and he does this via the process that I call snapshotting clinical terms internalization interjection and identification he tries to take a
39. 05:19 photograph of you and then Photoshop the photograph this is known as idealization and then continue to interact with the
40. 05:26 photograph which feels safe photograph is safe it’s a secure base the
41. 05:33 photograph will never abandon the narcissist the photograph will never separate from the narcissist the
42. 05:39 photograph will never challenge or undermine the narcissist’s grandiosity to photograph will never disagree with
43. 05:46 the narcissist or criticize him the narcissist is far prefers to interact with your snapshot than with you he is
44. 05:54 therefore incapable of discerning external objects and interacting with
45. 06:00 them you have never been in the narcissist’s Life only your representation in his mind only your
46. 06:08 avatar you have been a figment of his fiction a piece of his narrative participant in
47. 06:16 his script and shared fantasy this is the narcissist’s solution to reconcile your presence in his life
48. 06:23 with his need to separate from you your presence grades on him your
49. 06:30 existence challenges him your Independence and autonomy terrify him
50. 06:36 and tries to get rid of all these things by render rendering you Frozen
51. 06:42 the stalactite fossil so this is the last this solution he
52. 06:48 penalizes you for any deviation and any Divergence from this snapshot this is
53. 06:54 how the process of devaluation starts actually the borderline has a totally different
54. 07:00 solution the borderline tries to merge with you she tries to fuse with you
55. 07:07 this is her way of securing your presence in her life if you become a
56. 07:14 single two-headed organism you can never separate this is how she solves her
57. 07:20 separation in security AKA abandonment anxiety not only does she merge with you
58. 07:27 not only does she become one with you in her mind but she outsources to you all
59. 07:34 the critical psychological needs and functions so you become an extension of
60. 07:40 her mind and gradually you become a substitute to her mind she outsources
61. 07:46 her mind to you from that point onwards you are supposed to regulate her
62. 07:52 emotions for her stabilize her labile moods offer her reality testing
63. 07:59 participate in her cognitions or even generate her cognitions you are subsumed
64. 08:06 inside her your skull in her mind let us recap the narcissist is terrified
65. 08:13 of your presence he resents your autonomy an agency and Independence he
66. 08:20 doesn’t want you to exist he wants to separate from you at some stage so he tries to put you down so to speak by converting you into a symbolic
67. 08:33 iconic avataric representation in his mind that’s his solution the borderline is terrified of exactly the opposite she is
68. 08:44 afraid that you will abandon her reject her disappear on her and so which
69. 08:51 what she does she becomes one with you she takes takes over you it’s a kind of
70. 08:57 hostile takeover she is all over you she wouldn’t let you have a minute to yourself
71. 09:03 she constantly monitors and supervises and spies on you she is she has persecutory delusions she’s a bit paranoid she is romantically jealous insanely so and all these mechanisms of
72. 09:17 controlling you take assimilating you and thereby rendering you in separate from here this is the core issue both the narcissists
73. 09:28 and the borderline do not recognize your separateness not only they don’t recognize it but they want to vitiate it they want to negate it they don’t want you to be separate from
74. 09:40 them the narcissist wants to to want you to become an internal object inside his
75. 09:46 demented mind the borderline wants you to disappear into her in a kind of
76. 09:53 cosmic erotic sexual act so and no wonder Borderlands are highly
77. 10:00 focused on sexuality it’s an instrument of intimacy and merger with their
78. 10:06 intimate partner so these These are the diametrically opposed Solutions of the narcissists and
79. 10:13 the borderline in terms of managing intimate relationships and intimacy and this is
80. 10:20 the first example of modern the borderline beer being the mirror image of the narcissist The Narcissist denies your existence and separateness as an
81. 10:32 external object the borderline simply accepts your external your externality
82. 10:39 and merges with it she becomes the external object The Narcissist converts
83. 10:45 the external object into an internal one the borderline converts her internal world into the external object that is is her intimate partner
84. 10:57 both of them the narcissist and the psychopath need to devalue and discard you the relationship Dynamics is is very
85. 11:08 similar they both need at some point to reduce you to diminish you to dominio
86. 11:15 to reject and humiliate you and then to get rid of you The Narcissist does this because it has
87. 11:23 a very strong need to reenact his early childhood The Narcissist had failed to separate from his mother of origin his
88. 11:34 original biological mother he had failed to separate from the primary caregiver from the primary object
89. 11:41 and therefore he couldn’t become an individual the narcissism pathological narcissism is a failure in separation individuation
90. 11:53 from a mother figure The Narcissist converts you his intimate partner into a mother figure and then is
91. 12:01 compelled to separate from you to do this he needs to devalue you to have a
92. 12:07 good reason why to separate from you and only for them does he feel in control empowered and on his way to becoming an
93. 12:16 individual this is the narcissist these are the narcissist reasons for devaluing
94. 12:22 and discarding you the borderline does the same she devalues and discards but she does
95. 12:28 this for a totally different reason she does it because of engulfment anxiety
96. 12:34 the more she merges with you the more she feels this video the more she becomes one with you the more she hands
97. 12:40 over internal psychological functions and needs to you the more she expects you to
98. 12:47 cater to her internal landscape stabilize it ameliorate it mitigated
99. 12:53 regulated the more in other words she becomes dependent on you the more she
100. 12:59 feels enmeshed and engulfed the more she feels as if she were disappearing which
101. 13:05 is exactly what is happening by the way so decent government anxiety this enmeshment anxiety pushes her
102. 13:13 to devalue you and discard you but it’s an important distinction here the narcissist devalue and discard
103. 13:25 are one-time events in other words they constitute the absolute end of a face in the relationship henceforth The Narcissist will be
104. 13:36 looking for another intimate partner he may come back to you and try to Hoover you because he has a residual snapshot
105. 13:44 of you in his mind he may try to re-idealize you and reanimate the relationship or re-establish the
106. 13:51 relationship but he could equally as well go on with his life and never come back to you is an intimate partner this is not the case with the borderline the
107. 14:03 borderline devalues and discards in order to ameliorate her anxiety her
108. 14:10 engulfment anxiety to reduce it the borderlines devalue and discard is
109. 14:16 an anxiolytic step it’s her way to reduce anxiety and sometimes concomitant
110. 14:23 depression so once the anxiety is gone once she has recovered she will try to
111. 14:31 Hoover you the borderline goes through cycles of devalue discard over it the value discard hovering with the same individual not so the narcissist or
112. 14:43 rarely so the narcissist but the narcissist the value and discard is a
113. 14:49 period full stop with a borderline devalue and discount is just a phase in
114. 14:55 what is known as approach avoidance repetition compulsion Again The Narcissist may try to over you the borderline will over you that’s the
115. 15:06 difference between them one of them acts because he has a problem with the management of internal objects the other
116. 15:13 one acts because she can’t do otherwise she is she has a repetition compulsion
117. 15:21 the world the word compulsion is important both the borderline and the narcissist
118. 15:27 become avoidant in schizoid at some stage they isolate themselves socially
119. 15:33 they become asexual they avoid having sex and are not attracted to any sexual
120. 15:41 potential sexual partner they stay at home they watch Netflix they play with
121. 15:47 their cats every narcissist and every borderline goes through such phases and these phases could sometimes be extremely long up two years or even decades
122. 15:59 but again the reasons the psychodynamic background to this kind of behavior
123. 16:05 is very different in the narcissist than it is in the borderline borderline is a
124. 16:11 mirror image of the narcissist The Narcissist becomes avoidant in schizoid because of deficient a supply when the narcissist is unable to secure
125. 16:23 narcissistic Supply he usually tends to withdraw in order to force tall and avoid narcissistic injury rejection The Narcissist does the same
126. 16:34 when he is subjected to negative Supply negative Supply is narcissistic injury or narcissistic modification
127. 16:45 when faced with the vagaries and exigencies of daily life
128. 16:51 when confronted with criticism humiliation rejection disagreement and
129. 16:58 so on many narcissists become avoidant they withdraw in the in another reason they do this is when they need to process a corrupt introject following the devaluation phase having devalued you the narcissist remains
130. 17:15 stuck with the interject of you with the internal object that represents you with
131. 17:22 a part of his mind that is your avatar but having devalued you in reality is an
132. 17:29 external object The Narcissist now faces a mismatch a massive discrepancy between
133. 17:36 the idealized interject in his mind and the devalued external object which
134. 17:42 happens to be you to process this to somehow put the bits
135. 17:48 and pieces together the narcissist is usually withdrawals he usually becomes avoidant for a while
136. 17:55 so there are three reasons why narcissists would become avoidant and schizoid
137. 18:01 Hermits isolated one reason is deficient narcissistic
138. 18:07 Supply another reason is negative Supply and the third reason is a corrupt intradute
139. 18:15 the borderline behaves exactly like the narcissist she has phases sometimes
140. 18:21 protracted phases of avoiding people avoiding sex avoiding social
141. 18:27 interactions isolating herself pondering and brooding over her life
142. 18:34 these periods are characterized usually by depressive illness or depressive depressing depressive moods
143. 18:42 but the borderline in borderline does all this for a totally different reason to the
144. 18:48 narcissist she withdraws and she avoids in order to
145. 18:54 lick her wounds she had been rejected or humiliated or
146. 19:00 abandoned or she had anticipated rejection humiliation and abandonment in
147. 19:07 her mind there’s no difference so now she’s wounded now she is injured now she
148. 19:13 is hurting now she’s in pain and she withdraws into her niche to lick her
149. 19:21 wounds as she does this she begins to develop abandonment anxiety she devalues the intimate partner
150. 19:32 discards the intimate partner with rose into her Lair into her nest into her den
151. 19:38 and then she begins to miss the intimate partner she begins to develop severe
152. 19:45 anxiety will I ever see him again how am I going to get in touch with him he has been so good to me she begins actually to re-idealize the intimate partner a
153. 19:57 similar process happens with the narcissist but while the borderline it applies idealization to the external object to the real intimate partner The
154. 20:09 Narcissist idealizes the internal object the introject of the partner the
155. 20:16 representation of the partner in his mind again we see a mirror image the
156. 20:22 borderline operates with an on real external objects real people like the intimate partner The Narcissist interacts with internal objects exclusively
157. 20:38 even when the narcissist idealizes or re-idealizes he first does it with the
158. 20:45 internal object with the interjects the external object catches up with the
159. 20:51 interjection the borderline is actually incapable of developing stable interjects she has
160. 20:57 interject inconcancy and I encourage you to watch the relevant videos on my channel let us summarize the avoidant and schizoid behaviors of narcissists versus
161. 21:09 borderlines The Narcissist gets rid of the external object gets rid of the
162. 21:15 intimate partner but still has in his mind a corrupt introject a
163. 21:21 representation of the discarded and devalued intimate partner that had not
164. 21:27 been processed to match the external object so now he needs to work around
165. 21:33 this similarly when his Supply is deficient or negative in all these cases The
166. 21:40 Narcissist needs time off time of the withdrawals he isolates himself he avoids company he doesn’t interact with people he goes through a phase of self-supplied watch the relevant videos on my channel regarding self Supply
167. 21:57 the borderline acts exactly the same from the outside they look indistinguishable but actually the reasons for the borderline’s behavior are very different she withdraws and avoids in order to lick her wounds and
168. 22:15 then she develops abundant anxiety and this triggers another round of approach
169. 22:22 avoidance repetition compulsion in other words the borderline’s avoidance has two
170. 22:28 functions to allow her to recover her sense of identity and separateness and
171. 22:34 then to approach her intimate partner again having discarded and devalued the
172. 22:40 intimate partner she now approaches the intimate partner again idealizes him the
173. 22:47 real object the external object idealizes him and tries to be with him and tries to have another relationship
174. 22:53 so approach avoidance approach owing to abandonment anxiety
175. 23:01 avoidance owing to end government anxiety and it’s a repetition and it’s a
176. 23:07 compulsion in the avoidance part includes a schizoid phase
177. 23:14 now all these should not be confused with avoidant personality disorder
178. 23:20 avoidant personality disorder exactly like borderline personality disorder is founded on abandonment on anxiety
179. 23:31 the borderlines anxiety is twofold she she’s anxious about being
180. 23:38 rejected abandoned and humiliated and she is also anxious about being engulfed
181. 23:45 and meshed digested assimilated she is concerned about disappearing Vanishing
182. 23:52 so there’s anxiety Foundation of anxiety which underlies
183. 23:58 borderline personality disorder and it’s the same for avoidant personality disorder but in avoidant personality
184. 24:05 disorder the anxiety is a reaction to perceived or anticipated rejection
185. 24:13 it it sounds like borderline but it’s not let me try to help you too
186. 24:19 disambiguate and differentiate the two both the borderline and the avoidant
187. 24:26 anticipate expect and sometimes experience real
188. 24:32 abandonment and rejection both of them develop anxiety both of
189. 24:39 them are terrified about being rejected the borderline terrified about being
190. 24:45 rejected by her intimate partner abundant the avoidant is terrified about being
191. 24:51 rejected by everyone but this is a abandonment anxiety this is rejection
192. 24:58 anxiety separation anxiety and it underlies both disorders but
193. 25:05 the avoidance reaction to this anxiety is avoidance
194. 25:11 the borderline’s reaction to this anxiety is temporary avoidance followed
195. 25:18 by a psychopathic reaction acting out or by re-approaching the bubble
196. 25:26 the borderline therefore has a Repertory of three reactions when the borderline
197. 25:33 perceives imminent looming abandonment and rejection or when the borderline
198. 25:40 experiences actual abandonment and rejection she has three tools three instruments
199. 25:47 three weapons in her Arsenal she can avoid so she becomes avoidant
200. 25:54 or she can become become Psychopathic a secondary Psychopathic self-state and
201. 26:01 then she acts out she becomes very aggressive and violent and promiscuous and Reckless exactly like a psychopath
202. 26:08 or and this is the third reaction she can reapproach the reject the the devalued
203. 26:17 and discarded intimate partner once the intimate partner humiliates the
204. 26:24 borderline abundance her and rejects her She devalues and discards Him in her mind so she is capable of re-idealizing and so
205. 26:35 the avoidant personality disorder can be easily perceived as a subset
206. 26:41 of borderline personality disorder it’s it’s as if the avoidant person
207. 26:47 is about a stunted borderline a stilted borderline it’s as if the avoidant
208. 26:54 personality disorder is a failed borderline we can have a we can position a hierarchy the child tries to become a
209. 27:02 narcissist fails becomes a borderline fails to become a borderline becomes codependent fails to become codependent becomes avoidant avoidant shares some
210. 27:13 similarities with a borderline but the Repertory the reactive Repertory the
211. 27:19 Repertory of reactions in the in avoidant personality disorder is limited
212. 27:25 to avoidance avoidance don’t act out avoidance avoidance don’t idealize and devalue their intimate Partners or anyone else for that matter avoidance don’t have the whole spectrum of behaviors and
213. 27:42 internal dynamics that are open or inavailable to the narcissist and the borderline
214. 27:49 avoidant personality disorder is also intimately connected to behaviors such
215. 27:55 as people pleasing indecisiveness other schizoid States
216. 28:01 risk aversion conflict aversion hesitancy and extremes of doubt
217. 28:09 I recommend that you watch my video titled hypervigilance and intuition as forms of anxiety
218. 28:17 so let’s delve a little deeper into avoidant personality disorder people suffering
219. 28:23 from avoidant personality disorder feel inadequate unworthy inferior
220. 28:30 let me just play a bit with my computer because it’s fun because I don’t see a
221. 28:36 thing on the screen yes ladies and gentlemen it’s official I’m getting old in front of your very
222. 28:43 eyes okay people with avoidant personality disorder they feel inadequate they feel
223. 28:49 unworthy they feel inferior they feel lacking in self-confidence this is not the same in borderline in
224. 28:56 borderline people are grandiose same with narcissists same with Psychopaths
225. 29:03 um avoidance are usually shy they’re socially inhibited they are aware of real or even imagined shortcomings they are constantly on the lookout the hyper Vigilant the hypersensitive
226. 29:16 even the slightest most constructive and well-meant or helpful or innocuous criticism and disagreement they perceive it as complete rejection ridicule in
227. 29:27 shaming and in this they’re very similar to The Narcissist and the borderline consequently people with avoidant personality disorder go to Great Lengths to avoid situations that require
228. 29:39 interpersonal contact attending school making new friends going to a seminar
229. 29:45 accepting a promotion or teamwork activities inevitably avoidance people with
230. 29:52 avoidant personality disorder find it difficult to establish Intimate Relationships what they do is they test
231. 30:00 the potential friend or mate or spouse to see whether they ex whether these
232. 30:06 people accept them uncritically and unconditionally the demand continued verbal reassurances
233. 30:14 that they are really wanted they are desired they are loved they are cared for and about
234. 30:21 when avoidants are asked to describe when I’m sorry when people around the avoidant are asked to describe the
235. 30:27 avoidance people usually use terms such as shy timid lonely isolated invisible
236. 30:34 quiet reticent unfriendly tense risk-averse resistant to change reluctant restricted hysterical inhibited and even arrogant that’s why
237. 30:46 it’s easy to misdiagnose people with avoidant personality disorder as narcissists avoidance is a self-perpetuating vicious cycle the avoidance stilted mannerisms fears for her for her or his personal
238. 31:02 Safety and Security stifled conduct they elicit the very
239. 31:08 ridicule and derision that they fear even when confronted with incontrovertible evidence to the contrary avoidance tend to doubt that they are socially competent or personally appealing or not wrong that
240. 31:24 they’re right that’s why they can’t make up their minds when confronted with a dilemma or
241. 31:30 an issue or a disagreement between others rather than let go of their much
242. 31:36 cherished self-image avoidance sometimes develop the secretary delusions
243. 31:42 for instance they may regard honest praise as manipulative flattery
244. 31:49 they may ceaselessly fantasize about ideal relationships and how they would outshine everyone else in social interactions but are unable to do anything
245. 32:00 to take the first step to realize their Walter Mitty fantasies in public
246. 32:06 settings avoidance tend to keep to themselves and they are very reticent when they are pressed they self-deprecate they act overtly modest
247. 32:18 borders on false false modesty or what we call pseudo humility and they minimize the value of their
248. 32:24 skills and contributions and this sounds a lot like inverted narcissists and covert narcissists
249. 32:31 by doing this by doing this by minimizing themselves avoidance are trying to preempt what they believe to be inevitable forthcoming criticism by
250. 32:42 colleagues spouses family members and friends so while the behaviors look very
251. 32:48 similar to narcissists to covert narcissists actually the the reason the etiology of these behaviors is very very different I’ve written an entry in the open site
252. 32:59 encyclopedia on avoidant personality disorder and I want to read a paragraph
253. 33:06 the disorder affects 0.5 to 1 percent of the general population or up to 10 percent of the outpatients seen in mental clinics it is often comorbid with
254. 33:17 certain mood and anxiety disorders with dependent and borderline personality disorders and with cluster a personality
255. 33:24 disorders paranoids schizoid and schizotiple now I want to simulate to you
256. 33:31 a therapy session with an avoidant patient notice the similarities with borderline
257. 33:37 personality disorder in narcissism which makes it very difficult to properly diagnose avoidant personality disorder
258. 33:45 and may explain the way we under diagnose this disorder in the general population and in outpatients so imagine Gladys she comes to me for
259. 33:58 therapy notes of a first therapy session with Gladys female 26 diagnosed with
260. 34:04 avoidant personality disorder I would like to be normal says Gladys
261. 34:10 and she blushes purple in which sense are you abnormal I ask
262. 34:16 her all right she prefers reading books and watching movies with her elderly
263. 34:22 mother to going out with her colleagues to the occasional office party she says maybe she doesn’t feel close to then I
264. 34:29 ask her how long has she been working with these people maybe they’re new to her oh no she loves
265. 34:36 eight years in the same firm and not one raising salary she blurts out evidently
266. 34:43 hurt her boss bullies her publicly and the Searing shame of it all prevents her
267. 34:50 from socializing with peers suppliers and clients I try a different tack
268. 34:56 do you have a boyfriend you must be mocking me she says who would date an ugly duckling plane
269. 35:03 secretary like me I disagree with her wholeheartedly and in details I disparage her
270. 35:11 self-assessment I think that she’s very intelligent she half rises from her seat
271. 35:18 and then settles back down please doctor she says there’s no need to lie to me just in order to make me feel better I know my good sides and they don’t amount too much
272. 35:29 if we disagree on this crucial Point perhaps I should start looking for another therapist
273. 35:35 a glass of water and mounds of tissue paper later we are back on track
274. 35:41 Gladys dreads the idea of group therapy I’m a social she says I can’t
275. 35:47 work with other people I declined the promotion to avoid working in a team her boss thought highly of her until she
276. 35:55 turned his offer down so in effect it’s all her fault and she has earned the abuse that she’s being subjected to on a
277. 36:02 daily basis in public and anyhow the boss overestimated her capabilities and skills she demarred
278. 36:09 Demers why can’t she interact with her co-workers I wonder
279. 36:15 well she says that’s precisely what we are supposed to find out isn’t it everyone is too critical everyone is so
280. 36:23 opinionated and she can’t stand it she accepts people as they are and conditionally why can’t they treat her
281. 36:29 the same way she fantasizes about getting married one day to a soul mate someone who would
282. 36:35 love and cherish her regardless of her considerable blemishes I asked her to describe how she thinks
283. 36:42 she is being perceived by other people she contemplates my question shy timid
284. 36:49 lonely isolated invisible quiet reticent and friendly tense risk averse resistant
285. 36:56 to change reluctant restricted hysterical arrogant and inhibited wow I say that’s quite a list how does she view herself the same she I largely
286. 37:08 agree with people’s perceptions of me but he doesn’t give him the right to ridicule me or to torment me just
287. 37:14 because I’m different so this was an example of a therapy session with an avoidant patient and you
288. 37:21 can see the grandiosity at play you can see the aggression or passive aggression it’s a very similar to covert narcissist
289. 37:28 and you can see of course the um some elements of borderline personality disorder this is why it’s very difficult to tell apart
290. 37:39 borderline personality disorder is a mirror image of narcissistic personality disorder as far as the etiology and psychodynamics behind the behaviors the behaviors
291. 37:51 appear to be very similar almost indistinguishable but the behind the
292. 37:57 scenes machinery and risen reasoning and energy they’re all very different
293. 38:04 an avoidant personality disorder is often confused with these two