Lovebombing: Infatuated with Your Idealized Image (EXCERPT)

Uploaded 6/11/2022, approx. 1 minute read

Summary

Sam Vaknin explains that when someone falls in love with a narcissist, they are actually falling in love with an idealized version of themselves that the narcissist projects onto them. This can be the first time that someone experiences self-love. However, the narcissist is an entity of absence, and the person is essentially falling in love with themselves. Saying goodbye to a narcissist can be difficult because they have made the person infatuated with themselves through their eyes.

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You fall in love with yourself.

When you fall in love with a narcissist, you are actually falling in love with your idealized self.

For many people, this is the first time they experience self-love. They are able to experience self-love for the first time through the agency of the narcissist, because the narcissist projects onto them a version of themselves to which finally they are capable of loving.

And this is the whole of mirrors.

The narcissist does not exist. The narcissism is not about existence, it’s about absence. The narcissist is an entity of absence. So he’s not there. There’s nobody there. There’s nobody home but you. You’re talking to yourself. You’re looking at yourself. You’re falling in love with yourself.

And it is possible to say goodbye to someone you love with all the heartbreak.

How do you say goodbye to yourself? And that’s why people stay. They stay because the narcissist had made them infatuated with themselves through his eyes.

And he’s a master at this.

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Summary Link:

https://vakninsummaries.com/ (Full summaries of Sam Vaknin’s videos)

http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/mediakit.html (My work in psychology: Media Kit and Press Room)

Bonus Consultations with Sam Vaknin or Lidija Rangelovska (or both) http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/ctcounsel.html

http://www.youtube.com/samvaknin (Narcissists, Psychopaths, Abuse)

http://www.youtube.com/vakninmusings (World in Conflict and Transition)

http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com (Malignant Self-love: Narcissism Revisited)

http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/cv.html (Biography and Resume)

Summary

Sam Vaknin explains that when someone falls in love with a narcissist, they are actually falling in love with an idealized version of themselves that the narcissist projects onto them. This can be the first time that someone experiences self-love. However, the narcissist is an entity of absence, and the person is essentially falling in love with themselves. Saying goodbye to a narcissist can be difficult because they have made the person infatuated with themselves through their eyes.

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