Another thing the narcissist holds in severe contempt, abiding, all-pervasive, cellular contempt, is inadequacy.

The narcissist regards the world as a hostile jungle. Everything is a win-lose. I win. You lose. You win. God forbid. I lose. Everything is zero sum. Plus and minus together is zero. Zero sum.

Your minus, my plus, hopefully. But it’s always a zero sum. I’m a winner. You’re a loser. I’m a success. You’re a failure.

This is the vocabulary of the narcissist, and because of that, the narcissist must compare all the time competencies, skills, talents, and adequacies.

And if you come, if you end up with a short stick, with a short end of the stick, if you comedown with, you know, being inadequate, not talented, not skilled, narcissists hold you in extreme not strong, not a victor, not triumphant, not to prevail over others, not to be top lobster, apropos, not to fit into a hierarchy of dominance, not to attain the higher rank.

That means you are a zero nobody.

And this is the main message, of course, of Jordan Peterson.

I’m sorry to say.

Now, and Donald Trump, ironically, Jordan Peterson and Donald Trump have a lot in common. I can’t much see the differences between them.

Donald Trump is much more vulgar, much more coarse, and he has severe difficulty to put three words together. Peterson is more adept, linguistically, but the message is the same, identical.

The narcissist deplores, mocks, derides and decries emotions, and even much more so, the display of emotions.

So you can have emotions, but hide them, hide them effectively.

Be self efficacious in not communicating your inner world, your inner landscape, because emotions are weaknesses. Emotions are disadvantages.

Once you communicate your emotion, you’re open to attack.

People can make use of your emotions, abuse your emotional needs.

People, when you are down, when you emote, when you feel, when you have emotions, you’re weaker.

You, for example, you need empathy. You need sympathy. You need a friend.

That moment, you’re weaker.

Many predators, many predators spend all their lives spotting women, sad, broken women, after a breakup, after a divorce, after a bad fight. And they take them to bed. They get them to sleep with them. They get to have sex with them because they leverage expertly.

These women’s need for saccord, for support, and of course, vice versa.

You can reverse gender pronouns throughout this presentation.

So emotion means openness, means access, means leverage, means goal, means mission accomplished.

If there’s a predator and you’re sad, you will end up in bed with him. If there’s a predator and you are hesitant and you’re confused, he will end up with your money, a con artist, a scammer.

Emotions are bad for you. It’s like all the cigarettes, you know. Surgeon general warned that emotions are bad for you, bad for your health, bad for your longevity, bad for your finances, and bad for your self-respect and self-esteem after a one-night stand with someone you didn’t want to sleep with.

This is what emotions do to you.

Try to the best of your ability to eschew emotions, to give them up. Or at the very least, don’t give intelligence to the enemy. Don’t communicate your emotions.

Remain poker-faced. Remain composed. Pretend. Act. Lie. Confabulate.

Or communicate the wrong emotion to mislead the adversary.

It’s all in the narcissist’s life. Everyone is everyone’s enemy. Everyone’s, everyone’s opponent and adversary. It’s all gigantic game of chess.

And in chess, if you show your counterparty, if you sweat, if you like Spassky and Bobby Fischer, if you, you know, if you disclose what’s happening inside you, that’s an advantage. And your opponent will make use of it. We’ll move the right pawns and the right way, right to, you know, on the chessboard and you’re done. You’re finished. You hide your emotions.

You can be a champion. You will be a champion. Any vulnerability that is not, I remind you, any vulnerability that cannot be leveraged and used and abused and exploited to obtain something, some goal, is contemptible, is disdained, is rejected.

So emotions are the number one, top of the list, vulnerability. They are portals, emotions are portals. Access points, you know, we have in computers, intrusion detection systems. They are where they happen. They are where the hackers, where the life hackers can come in. They can hack your life. They can compromise your operating system. They can take over the computer, ransomware. You have to pay to restart yourself.

Be very careful in disclosing your emotions, especially in today’s world. Any narcissist and psychopath will tell you. And don’t ever be needy or clinging or show that you need something or that you want something. To want, to desire, to go after, to be needy, to be clinging, to show with facial expressions and body language that you hurt, that you are afraid.

No, no. Very bad policy. Neediness is repulsive. Clinging is disgusting. It makes you a human parasite. A leech. A virus.

The codependent, I mean, nothing, the psychopath and narcissistdetests more than a truly codependent person. Ironically, they end up with many codependents and many borderlines.

And yet these are the two types of people they detest most. The borderline, the borderline that compensates, acts out, falls apart and disintegrates in the slightest hint of humiliation, rejection and abandonment. And the codependent is all over the narcissist and the psychopath. She wants his time. She wants his attention. She wants him to regulate some of her inner functions, psychological functions. She relies on him for a sense of self-worth and self-esteem. She derives from him wisdom, guidance, and the narcissist finds all this absolutely beyond the pale and contemptible.

Some narcissists, psychopathic narcissists, and of course all psychopaths. They’re not beyond making use of neediness and clinging. They would spot these traits in you, these behaviors, and they would co-opt you into a cult.

Now the cult could be two people, the cult could be two million people. But it’s a cult. Narcissists and psychopaths seek out needy, clinging, codependent, ego-compromised, decompensative, acting out people like borderlines and codependents, and they create cults.

But the cult is always goal oriented. The aim of the cult is adoration and admiration. Narcissist is six or five. Six.

There are cults based around six. Money. It’s always goal oriented. Attachment, bonding, love.

You notice that I’m about to throw up. These are biak. These are really sleazy, smarmy things. They are like slimy. They’re like something you have to wash yourself very thoroughly after.

An expression of I love you, attachment, bonding, empathy, is either manipulative, the woman who tells you I love you, she wants something. What does she want? What is her agenda? Where is it ongoing? What is she scheming here?

You know, because narcissists and psychopaths project their inner dynamics onto others. If they are narcissistic and psychopathic, everyone is.

And they know that when they tell you I love you, it’s because they want something. They’re leading somewhere. It’s part of the love bombing, the grooming, the shared fantasy. It’s all part of a narrative, a very long term narrative.

They see the end. You don’t. They have seen this movie. You haven’t.

And so on the one hand, any expression of attachment, bonding, and love provokes, provokes the persecutory delusions, paranoia. What’s going on here? Where is the knife that is going to end up in my back? Who’s going to bite my back and when? Is she colluding with someone? Is it all part of a mega mega wicked Dr. Strangelove pack plan kind of or that’s on one hand. On the other hand, it, of course, expresses vulnerability, but the vulnerability of bad cut, neediness, clinking.

So the narcissist feels suffocated, strangled, stifled, imprisoned, incarcerated, restricted, constricted, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad. His emotion reaction to statements of allegiance, of affiliation, of emotion, positive emotions like love attachment, bonding, long-term planning, demands for commitment and investment. His reaction is horrible. He just wants to bolt. He wants to vanish. He wants to go away.

Things have gone seriously awry. Oh my God, she’s in love with me. Horrible. Now, many of them will not show you this. On the contrary, they will reciprocate and they do this for two reasons.

First of all, in some cases, your positive emotionality can be leveraged to obtain goals. You love me. Okay. Give me money. You love me. Okay. You know, sleep with me. So they convert positive emotionality temporarily into goal orientation.

And the second reason is they want to mislead you. You’re playing a game. There’s something of a foot, like Cheryl Holmes used to say. The game is a foot. The chessboard is set with all the pieces. Okay, let’s play, honey. You tell me you love me. I’ll tell you I love you. Like the gambit. It’s a gambit. You move your pawn. I move my pawn. No problem.

There’s a saying. I’m a Moroccan Jew. There’s a saying in Morocco. Follow the thief to the door. Don’t stop the thief. Wait. See where he’s going.

Same with the narcissism cycle. You tell me you love me. I’ll play your game. No problem. For as long as it takes. I want to see where you’re going. I know you’re going to cheat on me. I know you’re going to abandon me. I know you’re going to steal my money. I know you’re exactly like me. I know you’re goal oriented. What’s your goal? I want to know your goal. I’m going to unearth you. I’m going to cover you. I’m going to blow up your cover up. I’m going to unearth, reveal and expose your true agenda.

Empathy, bad for you. Bad thing. Empathy has two elements which call for contempt.

The first one, it implies that you can get to know the narcissist. That there is a way for you to resonate with the narcissist. In other words, it implies equality with the narcissist. No way, no shape, no form.

Narcissist rejects any attempts to compare yourself to him via empathy.

The second thing is, as usual, the narcissist attributes agenda. Why would you use such a skill like empathy if you don’t want to accomplish something? You use empathy to decipher the narcissist, to read between the lines, to get to know him better. Why would you want to get to know him better? To manipulate him, of course.

So in the narcissist’s mind, empathy is cold. He is not aware of any other kind of empathy. He’s never experienced warm emotional empathy.

So trying to communicate color to call a colorblind person, as we will see in a minute. So when you show empathy, he says she’s using cold empathy. When I use cold empathy, it’s to obtain something. What does she want?

And gradually these things accumulate. Every incident of a declaration of love, every time you declare your love, every time you show attachment, every time you care for him, every time you demonstrate empathy for him, every time you tell him, I understand you, I love you. These things accumulate. It’s a negative balance. It’s not your credit. It’s a liability.

Because the more you show, the more you demonstrate, the more you exhibit, the more you display these traits and behaviors, your love, your empathy, the more suspicious the narcissist becomes.

It’s getting out of hand. That must be something really, really, she’s planning something seriously bad and wicked or she had done something really bad and she feels guilty and now she’s trying to overcompensate for it. It’s always in the background. A narrative of perfidy, look it up, betrayal, a narrative of backbiting and backstabbing, a narrative of who is going to end up with the upper hand. It’s me or her. One of us is going to be left standing. One of us is going to survive this. We can’t both. It’s war unto the death. Altruism is perceived the same way.

To be altruistic, you need to be really stupid because you’re giving something of yourself. If you’re stupid, what am I doing with you?

And the alternative is that you’re using altruism, you’re using giving as a manipulative tool or a tool to control other people. So you’re competing with the narcissist. So it’s either you’re an idiot or you’re a competitor.

And in the narcissist’s world, competition is cut throat, cut throat physically. So if your competitor is going to demolish you, he’s going to vanquish you, he’s going to destroy you, he’s going to lead you to your ruination. If you compete with him by being nice to other people, you’re trying to co-opt other people to turn other people against him, he’s going to demolish you. Nothing, not one brick will be left.

If on the other hand, you’re altruistic for no gain and for no reason, then you are seriously stupid. You’re intellectually challenged and it makes it very difficult to idealize you.

And then if the narcissist cannot idealize you, he cannot idealize himself.

The psychopath, when he sees an altruistic person, wants to take everything she has to offer. But once he had taken everything she had to offer, he wouldn’t be very hesitant to be with you.

If you’re an altruist, charitable, loving, generous, giving, the psychopath wants to take everything you have to give. But then once he had taken everything, he would be very hesitant to be with you because the psychopath is very afraid to be with a stupid partner. A stupid partner can compromise him, can lead to his downfall and decline him.

So he doesn’t want stupid partners. He wants clever, cunning, smart, in a bad way, partners. He wants partners like him.

Partners will be able to collude with him, to conspire with him, to cheat other people, to steal from other people, to abuse other people. And that’s why psychopaths and narcissists are into group sex and free moneys.